For a long time, I did nothing—I didn't break down or cry, I didn't move. My eyes remained fixated on the ground until I was brave enough to look up.

Carol, still crying, only moved from the dirt when Daryl started lifting her to her feet. His arms wrapped under her own, holding tightly around her chest as he used the weight of his body to steady her. His efforts seemed futile when Carol refused to stand for herself, too busy looking at her daughter's corpse on the ground.

"Don' look," Daryl turned her away from Sophia. "Don' look."

Instead of listening, she spun around and slapped his arms away, tripping over her feet as she tried to escape his grasp. Daryl stopped, took a step back, and he just stared at her. He watched as Carol ran back towards the farmhouse, but no one followed her.

I could barely believe Sophia was in the barn, even after it had been opened. But there she was, her walker body lying on the ground in front of us. There was a pain in my chest as I thought about everything the group went through. All the grief Carol experienced after every search party came back empty-handed. All of that for Sophia to fall to the ground dead in front of us.

And I had never felt guiltier.

A dum-dum-dum at the back of my head wouldn't stop as I turned to the Greene family. They were the ones that would decide what would happen to my group from here on out. Hershel made no effort to move from the ground, still on one knee with his hands clasped over his mouth, staring at the pile of bodies in front of him. Maggie was standing behind him, her hand draped over his shoulder. Neither of them was crying, but from their hunched figures and fallen faces, I could tell they were devastated.

Beth was the worst of them.

Clinging to Jimmy, her sobs were broken by intermittent gasps as she stared out at the labyrinth of corpses. Her eyes switched between Shawn, who was lying closer to the doors, and a woman closer to where the front line had been shooting—Annette, her mother. I recognised the burnt orange hair from pictures in the farmhouse.

Beth tried to step away from Jimmy, twisting her body to get out of his hold. When she got herself free, she ran around everyone to get to the woman. Rick reached out to stop her and gently shushed her before she came too close to the walkers, "Wait, wait."

Beth flinched at his touch and ran forward, stopping at her mother's body on the ground. She leaned over to pull a walker off Annette before kneeling down at her head. She cried as she reached out to her mother, turning the woman over by her shoulders to see her face.

Then she woke up.

Beth let out a shrill scream as Annette gripped her hair, her grey fingers clenching around one of the bunches. Annette pulled down, dragging Beth's face down closer and closer and closer as she snarled and snapped to bite her own daughter.

I dropped the gun I had been holding and ran over to her, throwing myself in the way and sliding between them on my knees, hoping the woman would try and reach for me instead of Beth. Holding my arm across Beth's shoulders, I wanted to push her back when the hand that was tangled in her hair grabbed my arm instead.

Well, say what you want about my stupidity, but my plan had worked.

Rick was standing directly behind me as he grabbed Beth, managing to tug her away from her mother, and Shane was right next to him, yelling out, "Pull her away!"

Ignoring the screams around me, I placed my foot on the woman's shoulder, pushing down against it to try and pull my own arm back before she managed to bite me. It got really close before Glenn grabbed Annette by the arms, which ripped her hands away from mine. Glenn knelt over the walker and tried holding her still, yelling at the others to do something.

I scooched back as fast as possible, but arms wrapped under my own, and I was yanked to my feet. Daryl spun me away from the walker before letting me go a few metres away from Annette.

"Watch out! Watch out!"

T-Dog ran around the group and over to the woman, stamping on her shoulder one, two, and three times, trying to help Glenn, who was still holding onto her arms. T-Dog moved when instructed to do so, and Andrea ran over with what looked to be a scythe she pulled out from the barn.

She swung it back behind her back and then down and around, straight into the back of Annette's head. The point of the scythe came out the front of her forehead, and Glenn let go of her arms, stepping back as she fell backwards to the ground.

Beth was sobbing again, this time being held by Hershel. Jimmy was standing behind her, his hand on her back to help Hershel keep her on her feet as she hunched into her dad's arms. Patricia moved to stand between her and the bodies, so she couldn't see them anymore.

Then they started walking away and back up to the house. Jimmy was one of the only people who stayed with the group, staying to help with the cleanup we had to do now Shane had busted open the barn.

Glenn ran after them, presumably to talk to Maggie. I didn't expect that Shane would also follow them up to the house. But there he was, storming behind them. Rick was quickly on his tail, knowing that Shane would probably blow up on the poor family.

Daryl stood in front of me, grabbing my arm where Annette had, "You okay? No scratches?"

I looked down at my wrist, turning my arm over to inspect where I had been grabbed. When I saw that the skin was clear, I shook my head, "No, I'm—I'm good."

"Okay," Daryl nodded. "Imma go check on Carol. Don' do anything stupid."

I felt myself nodding even though I barely registered what he said.

Andrea entered the barn again, returning with an old tattered blanket that had been folded up. I watched as she walked over to Sophia, kneeling next to her body and covering the small, frail girl with the sheet.

She glanced at me, giving the slightest, faintest smile, before turning her head back to the body. I, too, just looked at the girl covered by a blanket.

"Dale!" I heard Lori call from behind me, and I looked over my shoulder to listen to what she was saying. "Take Carl back up to camp, would you?"

I saw Rick and Shane walking back from the farmhouse as Dale and Carl left. They were glaring at each other occasionally, which was something I had honestly expected.

T-Dog stepped forwards, "Want us to start burying?"

"We need a service," Andrea said. "Carol would want that."

"Yeah, we all want that," he agreed.

It was quiet for a moment before Lori spoke up. "Let's dig a grave for Sophia, Annette and Shawn over by those trees," she pointed to a row of trees at the side of the barn. "And we'll need a truck to move the bodies."

"I'll get the keys," Jimmy said.

Shane stopped him, holding out his arm, "No, I got the truck."

Shane started walking away, his thumbs resting through his belt loops.

"And the others?" Jimmy looked between the others. "That's a lot of digging?"

"We bury the ones we love and burn the rest," Andrea said.

"Let's get to work," Lori nodded.


I helped the group dig the graves for Sophia, Shawn and Annette, knowing that if I went back to my tent, I would only cry there. I had to do something to keep myself busy, or all the guilt I had tried to bury the past few days would come rushing back like water that had burst through a dam.

Jimmy and I were squished into one of the graves we had been digging, deep enough that the top of the hole reached the middle of my shin. We had barely been digging for twenty minutes and were nowhere near finishing.

"I wanted to thank you for what you did," Jimmy stopped what he was doing as he spoke.

I looked up for a second, before jabbing my shovel into the ground a few more times to loosen the dirt, "What did I do?"

"You saved Beth," he answered, leaning one arm on the shovel. "I know a lot of people were involved, but you were there first, and you jumped right in the middle of them. Honestly, I don't know what I would have done if Beth had been bitten there."

I'm glad he explained it because I had lost almost all the memory of what I had done an hour ago. I had been so concerned that I may have died there that I partly forgot why I was even in that situation.

"It's okay; you don't have to thank me," I told him. "It's just what we do."

Jimmy scrunched his face up, glancing back over his shoulder, "Maybe not everyone," he said and turned back to me. "But you definitely do."

I shrugged, kicking the shovel's blade into the ground, "I try."

I scooped out another shovel of dirt, throwing it over at the pile we had created at the head of the grave.

Jimmy had also gotten back to digging, but that didn't stop him from continuing the conversation.

"I heard about what happened to the little girl . . . I mean, when Sophia went missing," he glanced over with a heavy look but continued working. "You looked for her every day while you were here, I saw you. I know you probably feel guilty about what happened to her, but you did everything you could to save her."

"But I didn't save her."

"You tried to save her, and you looked for her," Jimmy said. "And you saved Beth."

All of that was true. I almost died doing all those things, but in the end, I managed to stop Beth from getting bitten. I felt a breath of air leave my lungs, and I glanced over at Jimmy, "Thanks."

"We're almost done," he said, and I had forgotten that he was speaking about the grave. It was a lot deeper now, maybe not enough for any of the bodies yet, but we had made considerable progress while talking.

It was only a little longer before we and everyone else had finished digging their graves. I watched T-Dog and Andrea leave to put the three bodies in the truck to bring each of them over. They had been wrapped in some sheets from the houses offered by Patricia.

Some people showed up before the ceremony. Rick came down with Lori and Carl, and Glenn came down from the house before any of the Greene family. Everyone else who had helped dig the graves was still here.

Lori took a step forward when she saw that the funeral was ready to start, "I'm going to fetch Carol."

Lori turned to leave, walking up the field and to the camp where Carol was supposedly staying.

"I'll go and get the others," Jimmy said.

Rick stayed at the graves with the rest of the group, standing behind Carl and looking down over the bodies wrapped in white sheets. He tried to hide it, but he kept looking over at Shane, and he did an even worse job hiding the glare in his eyes.

When I met glances with Rick, I tried smiling to make him feel better, but however small it was, it was the biggest smile I could muster. I walked over to join him instead, hoping the presence of someone else would make him forget about what Shane had done for at least a second. If he wanted to talk about it, he could because I knew how badly Hershel wanted us to leave.

"You okay?" I questioned, glancing down at Carl.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm okay."

He seemed better now because when Rick shot Sophia, he had been a mess. I saw Carl crying into his mother's arms as they sat together on the ground. I expected that, though, because he saw his best friend come out of the barn as a walker.

Carl looked up at me. "Are you okay?"

I didn't have an answer for him because I could tell that he already knew. Like the other day, I felt guilty that I didn't have an answer, but to say anything else other than me not being okay would be a lie.

Instead of trying to come up with a fake answer, I flicked the back of his hat to push it down over his eyes, which made him giggle as he pulled it out of the way to look at me.

The graves were quickly covered before the funeral began, before anyone else could make it down to where we were. But it wasn't long before the entire Greene family came to join us. Beth went over to Jimmy, and the two of them hugged.

Hershel changed into a suit for the funeral, which was more effort than anyone else had put into their appearance. Still, in everyone's defence, none of us had very nice clothes to change into. Mine was now covered in dirt from the graves.

He waited a little longer because not everyone was there when he arrived. I looked around and saw that Lori was now returning to the group. But instead of being accompanied by Carol, Daryl was following her down to the graves. I knew Daryl said he was leaving to check on Carol, but I wondered why she wasn't here right now.

I couldn't question it for much longer before the funeral began.


Everyone else stayed to help clear away the walker corpses in front of the barn. Rick told me that I didn't need to help with this one, so much to my dismay, I returned to my tent and sat outside. Mainly everyone was in the house or down at the barn, so the camp was pretty quiet and private.

Firstly, I put my gun away in the RV. The gun bag had been left on the table after Shane had to put it away. Hershel still wouldn't want us to carry guns around his farm. Especially not now, after we opened the barn.

The sound of footsteps brought me back to reality, and I looked up to see Shane walking through the camp. I immediately became angry he was not helping with the walker's corpses. In my mind, he should be clearing all those bodies away by himself.

I turned and watched him, hoping that he was going to go down and join the others at the barn, but instead, he turned and walked over to me.

Shane stopped just in front of me, but I crossed my arms. He huffed, his eyes moving away from me as he asked, "Let me guess, you're pissed too?"

"You know damn well how I feel," In all honesty, pissed was an understatement. There was no way Hershel didn't make us leave today, especially now we didn't have any ties to the farm through Sophia. And Shane knew how badly Hershel wanted us gone that I don't understand why he acted so rash by killing the walkers.

It felt like we had nowhere else to go, which only added to my anxieties. The farm was a good place, almost untouched by the threat of walkers. We had plans for Fort Benning, but it would be such a long trip through the crowded highways, and we didn't even know what it was like there. It could be gone, like the CDC.

I turned away, not looking at him anymore. "We have a good thing here; why do you keep trying to ruin it?"

"We couldn't live with the walkers there, Ace," Shane said. "You're smart enough to know that. I'm not trying to ruin anything, but we weren't staying here with them there."

"Beth almost died because you opened the barn. I almost died. None of that would have happened if you just gave them a chance to work it out."

"There was no time.

"The barn wasn't going to open the second you turned your back! It's been there for two months. Hershel has been keeping them there for two months, and we didn't know about it. All we had was time, and you just busted it open."

Shane scoffed, his head shaking, "He's delusional."

"No," I shook my head, finally looking at Shane. "He's grieving. His family is dead, and you basically just dug up their graves and shot them."

I don't know whether Shane would listen to what I said, but I doubted it. When he was teaching me about guns, I knew there was no way I could change his mind, and it felt the same now. Shane was hard-headed; he always made it challenging to get a point across.

I sighed, "I get it; killing the walkers was the right thing to do, but not how you did it. Not without Hershel's okay. He still thought they could be saved. There were other ways to show him that they couldn't."

"It's not just that, Ace. He had Sophia in there, that bastard knew, and he just—"

"Hershel wanted us gone, Shane," I told him. "If he knew Sophia was in the barn, he would have fucking told us."

"Watch your language," Shane snapped.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "You keep stepping in and trying to fix things before they become a problem. You don't trust Rick to do the right thing."

"Not everything needs a debate," Shane said, "or time to think it over. The right choice is the one that keeps us alive."

"So you keep saying," I mumbled. "It's not just about surviving. There has to be some order. You can't just do whatever the hell you want and get away with it all the time. It's wrong," Shane shook his head, turning his back to me as I spoke. "You don't care about what anyone else thinks or whether there is another way to make everyone happy. I said you wouldn't follow what Hershel or Rick wanted, and I was right."

There was no getting through to Shane; I knew that. I could only stand here for so long and plead with him, but he had already opened the barn. Trying to convince him how wrong he should have happened before he slaughtered Hershel's family.

I turned and walked away before he could get another argument in, heading towards the Greene's house. I wanted to speak to Beth and make sure that she was okay after everything.

Glenn and Maggie were in the living room when I entered, quietly discussing something. They stopped when they saw me, and Maggie gave me a smile, acting like everything was okay.

I didn't know what they were talking about, but it wasn't going to be anything good, not after today. I returned the smile, however. Part of me hoped it was making up for how we had spoken to one another the day before when Maggie was asking me about the barn and what we would do with it.

I wondered whether I should have listened to her and told Glenn not to tell anyone, but Dale knew, and if Glenn didn't say anything, then Dale would have. It was still the right thing to do, even if Shane ruined any chances we had of staying on the farm by opening it.

No one us said anything as I walked through, as I had seen Beth behind them in the kitchen for a second as she walked from one end of the room to another. As I passed, they started talking again.

"Is this really the time?" I heard Glenn whisper. "To discuss this, I mean?"

I walked through a little quicker, not wanting to be involved if they were arguing and knowing that it would be rude to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Beth sat at the table in the kitchen, her eyes fixated on the wooden surface in front of her. She didn't seem to notice when I entered the room, which I understood. She looked exactly how I felt when I was at the barn earlier today.

"Hey," I smiled.

Beth glanced up from the table, her face flat and her expression almost empty, like nothing was behind her eyes. Still, she answered, "Hi."

"Do you mind if I sit?" I asked.

Beth shook her head, but her gaze returned to where it had been before. I pursed my lips but pulled out a chair to sit beside her.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"'M fine," she snapped.

I ignored the tone, knowing how often she's probably had people check in on her that day. "I lost my mum too," I told her. "A long time ago, but . . . I know how it feels. If you want to talk about it, I'm here."

Beth stood up, "I need some water."

I nodded, letting her walk to the sink and grab a glass of water. Instead of being weird and watching her as she filled her glass of water, I turned around, looking at some of the pictures that hung on the wall.

Most of them were of the kids: Maggie, Beth and Shawn, but there were some others. Some of Hershel and Annette, one of someone I could only assume was Hershel's first wife. She looked a lot like Maggie.

There was a crash behind me, and my head snapped to look over at Beth. She was lying on the ground, her eyes closed, and the glass she was filling had smashed around her. It wasn't the only thing, though; There was a washing-up dish on the ground next to her, with some broken plates and bowls. She must have pulled it down when she fell over.

"Oh my God," I slid off the chair to kneel on the ground next to her, unsure of whether I should try and move her away from the glass or into a better position.

"Beth!" I heard Maggie call as she and Glenn came running in. "What happened?"

"I don't know," I shook my head. "She was getting some water, and she fell. I didn't even see her go down."

Maggie moved my chair out of the way, falling to one knee and pulling Beth's hair to the side, probably checking if she hit her head on the fall. "No blood," she said. "Glenn, help me. I need to check if she's breathing. Roll her onto her side."

It was not a question, and Glenn didn't treat it as one. He was already kneeling at my side, resting on some of the glass, but his jeans provided enough protection that he didn't seem to be bothered.

I moved around a little to help them, grabbing Beth's shoulder and pulling her backwards to roll her over. Glenn helped me, holding her in place when she was finally resting on her right side.

Maggie held the back of her hand in front of Beth's nose, "She's breathing."

"Should we get her to the bed?" Glenn asked.

Maggie nodded. "Yeah, help me lift her?"

Glenn moved around me, forcing me to step back and out of the way, watching Maggie pull Beth up into a sitting position. Glenn did most of the heavy lifting from there, holding Beth off the ground and walking her to the room, with Maggie standing in front of him for support.

When she was lying down, Maggie stood in the doorway. "Dad! DAD!"

No matter how much she called out for him, there were no other footsteps or no call back.

Patricia did come into the room, though. "What is it?"

"Have you seen my dad?" Maggie asked hurriedly. "Beth fainted; she won't respond."

Patricia shook her head, entering the room to see Beth. "I haven't seen him since the funeral. Maybe he went out to check on the cattle? I'll go take a look around."

Patricia left the room, now just as hurried and flustered as Maggie was looking.

"You stay with her," Glenn told Maggie and glanced at me. "We'll go and find him."

I walked out of the bedroom with Glenn behind me.

"Check his room!" I heard Maggie call.

I looked to Glenn, who just nodded to the stairs and ran up in front of me. I followed him, unsure of which Room was Hershel's, to begin with, and just prayed Glenn knew. To make a long story short, Glenn didn't know and poked his head through every door until he found the bedroom he was looking for.

"Is this it?" He asked.

I walked in after him, seeing that the bedroom was filled with boxes, ones that looked like they had been pulled out from the back of the wardrobe. Some of the boxes were filled with clothes and dresses. Others had what looked to be photo albums.

"It looks like storage," I said. "Maybe a guest room?"

"No, there's a picture of Hershel and Annette here," Glenn said, looking down at a framed photo on the chest of drawers.

"He isn't here," I told him. "We should look somewhere else."

"Yeah," Glenn walked past me, out the door.

We ran downstairs and through the house, walking out the front door.

"You check the shed; maybe he's working on the generator or something," I said. "I'll take a run down to the barn."

Glenn nodded, "Okay."


Glenn and I ran all over the farm without finding Hershel anywhere. We asked anyone we came across, but no one had seen him in hours.

I was last to return, only shaking my head as I entered the bedroom. Glenn sighed, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms.

"I looked everywhere," I said. "I have no idea where he is."

Maggie only nodded, and I wasn't even sure she heard me. She sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing the side of Beth's face and leaning closer to her. "Sweetie, can you hear me?"

We all looked up when someone entered the house, and I was praying that it was Hershel, but it wasn't. Lori poked her head around the door, looking straight down at Beth, who was lying on the bed.

"What's wrong with her?" Maggie asked, looking up at Lori.

"She might be in shock," Lori answered. "Where's Hershel?"

"We can't find him anywhere," Glenn said.

Lori exited the room as quickly as she entered, but no one was really sure why. Maybe she was going to look for Hershel herself.

A little while later, Patricia came back into the room, "I couldn't find him down by the cattle."

Lori returned almost ten minutes later with both Rick and Shane. They were filled in on what happened because when they saw Beth, they didn't try asking what was wrong with her.

Rick looked over at Glenn and me. "Hershel?"

I shook my head. "We've looked; we can't find him."

"There were some boxes in his room," Glenn said. "But other than that, nothing."

Maggie looked over her shoulder. "What boxes?"

Glenn only shrugged as an answer.

"Maybe he took a car?" Shane suggested.

"And went where?" Lori asked.

"Let's take a look at the boxes," Rick said. "Might find something."

Maggie turned to Patricia. "Can you stay with her?"

Patricia nodded, taking Maggie's seat on the edge of the bed as we all left the room. Maggie led everyone upstairs to Hershe's room. It was the same as me and Glenn left before running out to look for him.

Rick lifted a dress from the first box, examining the items.

"Your stepmother's things?" Rick asked, looking at Maggie.

"He was so sure she'd recover," she said. "They'd just pick up where they left off."

"Looks like he found an old friend," Shane said, shaking what looked like a flask in his hands. He tossed the metal object over to Rick, who caught it in his hands.

Maggie reached over the bed to take it from Rick, "That belonged to my grandfather. Gave it to dad when he died."

"I didn't take Hershel for a drinker," Rick said.

Maggie shook her head, walking over to stand next to Glenn. "No, he gave it up on the day I was born. He didn't even allow liquor in the house."

"What's the bar in town?"

"Hatlin's, he practically lived there in his drinking days."

"Betting that's where I'll find him," Rick said, looking at Glenn.

"Yeah, I've seen the place," Glenn nodded, answering the question Rick didn't even get to ask. "I'll take you."

"All right, I'll get the truck," Rick turned to leave.

"Okay."

Maggie stepped in Glenn's way before he was able to leave. "N-no."

"It's an easy run," Glenn argued.

"Like the pharmacy?"

Rick reached over, lightly tapping Maggie on the arm. "Hey, Maggie? I'll bring him back."

With that, Rick turned around and left the room. Lori and Shane quickly followed after him, and I walked out with them too.

I wanted to go out and help Hershel,

When I saw that they were arguing, I stayed back behind the door in the same room as Glenn and Maggie, waiting for them to finish. Neither Lori nor Shane wanted Rick to leave, as usual.

"Rick?" Lori called him. "You want to have a conversation about this before you leave?"

Shane walked out after them. "So you're seriously gonna go after this guy with everything that's going on, huh? That's what you're gonna do?"

"He's right," Lori agreed. "This is not the time to head off, not today. You don't always have to bring back everyone who goes missing."

"I'm not arguing," Rick said. "It's the least I can do for Hershel after we—"

"—what?" Shane interrupted. "After we what?"

There were some footsteps as presumably Shane walked away from them and left the house. I could still hear Lori and Rick talking outside the door, their voices quieter this time.

"Carl said he would've shot Sophia himself," Lori whispered.

My eyebrows raised when I heard that, and I thought back to talking with Carl at the funeral. I mean, shooting her was one of the only options, but I knew for a fact I would not have been able to kill Sophia—I mean, the walker.

Carl was younger, though. He had been through a lot since the world ended, especially for someone so young. I wasn't completely sure about the psychology, but children were more impressionable, and with the new normal being that we had to kill our loved ones even after they died, maybe he was just getting used to it easier than I was.

"That's your son," Lori continued. "He's getting cold; he's growing up in a world with . . . He's growing up in a world where he needs a father like you, around, alive. Not running off, solving everybody else's problems."

"It's not just his problem I'm trying to solve," Rick said. "We need Hershel for the baby. I'm going after him."

I had been wondering whether Rick knew about the pregnancy yet, but now I was sure that he did. It made sense that another reason he wanted to get Hershel back was to ensure that Lori could have a safe birth, as he would have experience with those things. It didn't matter to me. We all had our own reasons for going: I wanted to help Beth and Hershel, Glenn wanted to help Maggie and Rick needed Hershel for Lori. The only thing I was unsure of was whether Hershel would even let us stay on the farm anymore, let alone help out with Lori and her baby.

I heard footsteps that sounded like they were walking away, so I quickly stepped out after them, trying to make it look like I hadn't been listening to their entire conversation. Both Rick and Lori were walking down the stairs at this point.

"Rick?" I called, but they both stopped. Part of me hoped that Lori had either left the house already or would continue walking. I would just have to ask with her around, which would only make it worse. "I want to help look for Hershel."

"Ace, no—"

Rick held out a hand, stopping Lori from immediately arguing with my idea. He looked over at me and shook his head, "You don't have to."

"But I want to, I want to help Beth," I said, taking a step forward. "I'm sure that Hershel didn't take a weapon either, and I want to make sure that he's okay. Besides, I know what it's like to lose a dad."

They both seemed a little shocked that I would even bring that up, let alone use it as an excuse to save Hershel. I could tell by Lori's tense expression that she was still completely against my idea. But Rick? With his eyes still fixated on the ground in front of me, it seemed like he was thinking about it.

"I'm good with people," I added. "I think I can convince him to come back."

Rick glanced up, finally meeting my eyes. "Go get your things; I'll grab your gun."

He nodded his head so I could pass him on the stairs, and I knew that they probably had some more arguing to do now that Rick was letting me join them. Before he could change his mind, I ran down and out the door and went to my tent to get my bag.

I only grabbed my knife. We were going out in the car, so I knew that I wouldn't need my bag to carry anything. Besides, there was nothing else I needed to bring.

"What are you doing?" I heard Shane speak behind me.

I closed my eyes, praying that I had just imagined it. After closing my tent and standing up, I saw that it was really Shane behind me and not just my own brain making it up.

Here we go.

"I'm going to look for Hershel."

Shane was quiet, staring at me and wondering whether I was joking. After staring him down for a second, he realised it was not a joke, and I was leaving to look for Hershel.

"No, you're not," he held out his hand. "Give me the knife."

I frowned. "No. I want to help Beth and Hershel. Besides, I don't think this is your decision. Ricksaid I could go."

"Rick said . . ." Shane trailed off, scoffing to himself. He rubbed his hands over his face, looking back over his shoulder towards the house and turning to me. "Ace, we don't know what's out there. Who knows how many walkers are roaming that town by now."

"I can kill walkers now," I said. "Daryl showed me."

Shane stared at me for a second before saying, "Daryl, huh?"

I realised that it probably sounded weird, but Daryl did drag me away from Shane earlier that day for the exact purpose of killing walkers. It seemed that Shane had finally put it together in his head, and he realised that's where we went.

"You realise that if you do this and it all goes sideways, I won't be able to come out and save your ass."

"I never expected you to," I shrugged. "You don't really go over the group if they're in trouble."

Maybe Shane was right about not following the group out whenever they got into trouble because if he did, he would be leaving the camp weaker. It bothered me less now than it did before, so I kind of guessed that he wouldn't be rushing out to come and save us if anything happened in town.

Shane opened his mouth to say something, but I managed to get the word out first. "Look, I'm not arguing with you about this, Shane. After what happened with Sophia, I will do everything I can to ensure that the people in this group are safe."

I left Shane standing there when I saw Rick leaving the RV with some guns in his hand. More than I expected, but I realised that he was probably also grabbing one for Hershel. It was strange because I wasn't so sure that Hershel even knew how to use a gun.

I met up with Rick at the car, where he was throwing some of the guns into the backseat. As I walked over, I shoved the holster of my knife into the hem of my jeans, pulling my white crochet shirt behind the handle.

Rick stood up straight from the car, turning to me and holding out my gun. Rick nodded to the open door at the back of the car, and I sat down inside. He left the door open while he waited for Glenn, though, and I sat with my legs stuck out of the car.

"You sure you wanna come, now?"

"I just argued with Shane about it," I was smiling before I could even finish my joke. "I literally have no choice but to go out now."

Rick chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah, I get that."

Rick's expression gave away that Glenn was leaving the house. The way he tried to look down at his gun to ignore that he was there confused me, however. I looked out through the front window to see Glenn and Maggie standing at the bottom of the porch stairs.

They were standing close together, talking quietly and sharing a kiss. Glenn already had his shotgun, and I assume he took it in the house after we opened the barn. I, too, had to look away from them, pretending that I hadn't noticed in the first place, so Rick and I waited quietly for him to join us.

I heard the footsteps before I realised that he was finally walking over to join us. Glenn seemed a little confused when he saw me, but it quickly subsided, and his original low expression had returned to his face.

"You ready?" Rick asked him.

Glenn nodded. "Yeah.


The car ride took longer than I had expected, as Glenn and Maggie normally rode there on horses. However, it made sense that it was taking longer than by horseback, as they normally rode them through the woods and across the fields, which was a more direct route than the one we had to take.

I stretched out across the back seat, leaning against the window behind Glenn's chair. I turned the gun over in my hand, trying to think of something to do or say that would entertain me for however much longer we had to drive.

No one had spoken since we took off, and the car was eerily silent.

And then Glenn finally spoke up, "Maggie said she loves me."

I sat up from the window, "Awe."

"Not, awe. She doesn't mean it," Glenn continued, shaking his head. "I mean, she can't. I mean . . . She—she's upset or confused. She's probably feeling, like—"

"I think she's smart enough to know what she's feeling."

"No. No, no," Glenn shook his head, and I had to try very hard not to snort or laugh at his reaction. Rick was also trying to suppress his grin. "You know what? She wants to be in love, so she's . . . she needs something to-to, like . . . to hold onto."

"Glenn, it's pretty obvious to everyone Maggie loves you, and not just because you're one of the last men standing. So what's the problem?"

Glenn stayed quiet for a second, wondering whether or not to say anything. Rick glanced back at me in the rearview mirror, but I just shrugged, showing that I didn't have any idea what he was talking about. I wondered if this all happened in the room when I wanted to speak to Rick or whether it was on the porch as we left.

"I didn't say it back," Glenn finally said, which made Rick look over at him with what resembled a smirk. Glenn "I've never had a woman say that to me before except my mom, of course, and my sisters. But with Maggie, it's different. We barely know each other. What . . . What does she really know about me? Nothing! We're practically strangers."

Again, I had to try not to laugh at him. But this time, because it was so cute. Like back when he was talking about Maggie on the barn's roof, it was also very obvious to everyone that Glenn loves Maggie too. He was too awkward to say it, but I knew he loved Maggie.

"But I . . . I didn't know what to do with it," Glenn continued. "I just stood there like a jerk."

"Hey, hey, this is a good thing," Rick interrupted him. "Something we don't get enough of these days. Enjoy it. And when we get back, return the favour. It's not like she's going anywhere."

That was really sweet, too, something that made me smile because he was right. There wasn't enough of the drama or scenarios that there would have been before the world went to shit.

We weren't driving for too much longer. The town was tiny. A few streets and a few buildings were visible as we drove in down one of the roads. It looked very old-timey as well, like something I would imagine in a movie. I sat forward again, looking out the front window at the buildings.

When Rick pulled to a stop, I saw the pharmacy that Glenn and Maggie normally went to on my right. It was literally right next to the bar, with the front of the pharmacy facing one of the side walls.

Before any of us could exit the car, Glenn spoke, "Rick? I know about Lori, her being pregnant . . . I got her those pills."

Rick seemed confused for a second, his head snapping towards me like some big secret had been revealed. The only problem was that it happened yesterday, and Rick soon realised that I knew about Lori too.

He turned to look at Glenn, "I figured."

I stepped out of the car on the driver's side, following Rick towards the bar. Luckily he didn't ask about how I knew about Lori because he was probably more focused on trying to find Hershel at this point.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you," Glenn said, jogging around the car to catch up with us.

"Don't be. You did what you thought was right. It just so happens it wasn't."

I looked down, putting my gun away under the hem of my jeans, knowing that with Rick and Glenn around, there was no reason for me to have it out right away.

We walked to the bar, and Rick leaned close to the window to see inside the building. I did the same, but it was so dark on the inside, and the sun was shining against the surface of the glass that I couldn't see anything.

Instead, Rick walked over to the double doors that led inside the building. When he pushed them open, I saw Hershel inside. He was sitting at the bar, facing away from us, at the far end of the room. His chair was in the corner where the counter curved around and back down towards us.

Glenn closed the door behind us after we all stepped inside.

Rick took a step forward, "Hershel?"

"Who's with you?" His gravelly voice called back.

"Glenn, and Ace."

With his back facing us, Hershel stared down at the glass in his hands, "Maggie sent him?"

"He volunteered," Rick said. "They both did; they're good like that."

Hershel raised the glass to his lips. I could tell by his arm's movement and how he planted his elbow on the table.

Unsure of what to do, I just stood there momentarily and glanced at Rick for some kind of instruction. Rick walked across the bar, standing next to him as Hershel placed his glass on the table. Me and Glenn also walked forward, but we hung back towards the middle of the room.

"How many have you had?" Rick asked, leaning against the bar.

"Not enough," Hershel answered.

Rick sighed, looking back at us for a second, before leaning closer to Hershel, "Let's finish this up back at home. Beth collapsed and is in some sort of state; must be in shock. I . . . I think you are too."

"Maggie's with her?"

"Yeah," Rick said. "But Beth needs you."

"What could I do? She needs her mother. Or rather to mourn," he said, twirling the liquid in the glass, "like she should've done weeks ago. I robbed her of that. I see that now."

Rick straightened up. "You thought there was a cure. Can't blame yourself for holding out for hope."

"Hope?" Hershel finally turned to look at Rick, waving a hand as he spoke. "When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms, I had little hope he would survive."

"But he did."

"He did. Even though we lost Otis, your man Shane made it back, and we saved your boy. That was the miracle that proved to me miracles do exist," he jabbed at the wooden bar's flat surface before continuing. "Only it was a sham, a bait and switch. I was a fool, Rick, and you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that."

Rick sighed, running his hand over his face. He knew the same as I did that getting Hershel to leave the bar would be hard. After what happened at the barn, it seemed like it would be impossible.

He turned back to us, pointing to the door behind Glenn. "Check for walkers."

Glenn nodded and walked back to the front of the bar, pulling the door open. He turned his head up and down the street, trying to keep an eye out for walkers, but when he saw none, he shook his head.

"So, what do we do?" Glenn asked, still standing in the open doorway. "Just wait for him to pass out?

"Just go," Hershel called back. "Just go!"

"I promised Maggie I'd bring you home safe," Rick said.

"Like you promised that little girl?"

Ouch.

My eyes widened, and my head snapped to look at Hershel. It was supposed to hurt Rick; it felt like a knife had been pushed into my heart and twisted ever so delicately. It was made even worse by the fact that Hershel had no idea that Sophia being dead right now was on me, not Rick.

Rick looked like he felt the same pain as me because he stormed across the room towards Hershel, "So what's your plan? Finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?"

Hershel stood up from his stool, spinning around to face Rick. "Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm. You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroy it all!"

Rick walked closer, standing face-to-face with Hershel. "The world was already in bad shape when we met."

"And you take no responsibility!" Hershel yelled, waving his hand down. "You're supposed to be their leader!"

"Well, I'm here now! Aren't I?!"

I looked at Glenn, who was just watching them from the doorway. Neither of us wanted to make any move to step between them, and so we didn't. There was nothing we could do about this fight.

"Yes. Yes," Hershel was quieter now, staring solemnly through Rick. "Yes, you are."

He turned around, walking back to the bar and sitting in the same place. I wasn't sure what kind of epiphany he had, whether he was just drunk or what, but all the progress that had gone into getting him out of the chair was now gone, and it looked like we were never getting out of here.

Rick walked over to him as he took another sip of his drink. "Now come on. Your girls need you now, more than ever."

Rick reached out to grab his arm, but Hershel pushed it away, turning towards Rick in his chair. "I didn't want to believe you! You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick; I chose not to believe that. But when Shane shot Lou in the chest, and she just kept coming, that's when I knew what an ass I'd been, that Annette had been dead long ago, and I was feeding a rotten corpse! That's when I knew there was no hope."

I still couldn't commit to there being any hope, even now, not after everything. After all the bad things happened, there had to be something good to come. Something, anything. Even if it didn't seem like it right now.

"And when that little girl came out of the barn . . . . the look on your face, I knew you knew it too. Right? There is no hope. And you know it now, like I do. Don't you?" Hershel was quiet for a second before turning back around in his chair. "There is no hope for any of us."

Still, Hershel made no attempt to move from the door, no attempt to stop drinking and come back to the farm. This was getting us nowhere, and if we stayed much longer, it would be dark soon, making it dangerous to try and return to the farm.

I had to try something.

Moving past Rick, I walked around the bar, stopping right in front of Hershel. He looked up at me but didn't say or do anything as I came to stand in front of him.

I didn't know how to start, so I just did, "My dad is lost, probably dead, and I can't do anything about it anymore. I waited so long for him to come back, but he never did. And then I had to leave the only place where he knew where I was or where he would be."

Hershel glanced up, but it looked like he was paying no attention to me or what I was saying, which was a little annoying, but I wasn't going to complain about it. The man had just lost his family for a second time, and I had to try to be as comforting as possible to get my point across.

"I don't have anyone around now, not from my family, at least. Please don't do that to Maggie or Beth because losing my dad was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Well, one of the worst things . . . I lost others. It doesn't matter now," I shook my head, trying to get myself back on track. Stupid rambling. "But you need to come back to the farm and help Maggie. She doesn't know what happened to Beth or how to fix it. I was there when she fainted, and Maggie needed you."

The room fell into silence, and I stared at Hershel, waiting for any kind of response. Hershel only raised his glass to his lips, taking a large gulp of his drink before staring right through me, like I wasn't even there.

"If Beth remains unresponsive, get Patricia to put her on the drip," was all Hershel said.

Rick looked pissed and stepped forward to argue or yell at him, but I raised my hand to stop him before any words left his mouth.

"We're not going anywhere without you. Besides, I'm sure Patricia already knows that she needs water. That isn't the problem. Beth needs you," I said, leaning forwards on the bar. "I know that you need time to get over what happened, but please, please come back and help them before you drink yourself away."

Again, nothing.

I turned to Rick, who only shrugged and walked away towards the door. He wasn't leaving but needed to step away for a second. I understood; speaking to someone who wasn't ever going to listen was getting frustrating, too, but I was going to wait here until Hershel decided to come with us. No matter how long it took. I would not let him leave Maggie and Beth without a father.

So I continued, "You may not have made great choices, but you're still their dad. No dad can get everything right, but you can't give that up. It's your job to be there for them. Leaving them, doing this and abandoning them; that's the worst choice you could make."

Nothing, of course, nothing. Apparently, Hershel was more stubborn than Shane . . . okay, maybe not, but it was still something impressive. Glenn and Rick were waiting at the other end of the bar, but Hershel again made no effort to move.

I sighed, my head falling down in front of me. Finally, I lifted my gaze and just asked one final thing, "Come on, Hershel."

He didn't move, didn't say anything, just continued drinking his drink. I shook my head at the others, knowing he wouldn't move.

Rick, on the other side of the bar, was shaking his head. He walked over to where we were again and then leaned on the bar next to Hershel, "Look, I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore, cleaning up after you. You know what the truth is? Nothing has changed. Death is death. It's always been there. Whether it's from a heart attack, cancer, or a walker. What's the difference? You didn't think it was hopeless before, did you?"

Rick was right, as always. The only difference now was how we die, not dying in general. But I could see why Hershel was scared because, with the walkers around, dying could happen more suddenly than we expect and so much earlier than we could expect now.

"Now there are people back at home trying to hang on. They need us, even if it's just to give them a reason to go on, even if we don't believe it ourselves," Rick said, planting his hand down on the bar beside Hershel. "You know what? This . . . this isn't about what we believe anymore."

I turned to him, a frown on my face as I had no idea where he was going with this. Then Rick finished.

"It's about them."

Hershel raised the glass to his lips one final time, gulping down what was left of the liquid, before turning his drink over and planting it down on the table, the open part down. When he stood up, there was the same screeching sound of the door opening behind us, but when I looked up, I saw that Glenn was behind Rick, next to the bar.

There were two shadows at the front of the building, one bigger and one smaller. I couldn't see their faces due to the sun backlighting them and the shadows falling over their faces, but I could tell they were both men.

The smaller guy stepped forward, "Son of a bitch. They're alive."


We're getting to one of my favourite episodes of season 2. I loved Nebraska, man. Just wanted to let that be known.

Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed :)