AUTHOR'S NOTE Sorry for the delay! It's been hectic around here with college graduation coming up in a week and a half. This story's almost complete!
DISCLAIMER I don't own Tolkien's characters.
…
June 26, Year 61 of the Fourth Age
Gauna was buried in a tomb outside of Edoras. Éomer welcomed me to stay past the funeral and I did only to help Daelin resolve the affairs. With the beginning of July, I departed Edoras for the last time and began my journey home.
I paused on the plains, gazing back at Meduseld and Edoras standing proudly in the sun. A great sorrow washed over me with the sudden understanding that I would never look on the fair city of Rohan ever again.
Gauna was dead. My life had moved far beyond my past and Rohan held nothing for me now. It, like the now empty land of Lothlórien, was a shadow in my memory, with all connections to the past severed forever.
Círar carried me on the now-familiar journey from Edoras to Minas Tirith. But this was the only time that I truly felt a shadow in my heart. As Minas Tirith rose in the distance, I considered stopping to rest the horse, but home was not far.
I crossed into Ithilien. Although it would have been nice to see Aara, Elboron, Eleni, and Éomer, I wanted nothing more than to return home and sleep. My immortal body didn't need it, but sleep was a comfort, throwing me back to my life as a human. Losing myself into peaceful darkness offered solace when nothing else would.
"Mae govannen, Lady Raélowen," the guard greeted me on my return. I nodded and rode for the stables. Once Círar was cared for, I slowly walked toward the palace steps.
Legolas met me in the hall. "Welcome home, Meldanya!" he said as I melted into his arms. He paused and looked worriedly at me. "What's wrong?"
"Gauna's dead."
"Oh Rae," he said, holding me close. "I am so sorry."
I stood enveloped in his arms, grateful for his support. Finally, I pulled myself away. "I am weary," I told him. "I think I am going to sleep."
"Be iest lîn," he replied sadly. He understood that I only slept when I was troubled.
When I finally sank into bed, nothing was more welcome. I fell asleep within moments and, at least for a while, found peace.
…
Peaceful was night in Ithilien. I stood on a high balcony of the palace, watching life below me. The low, musical voices of Elves floated up to me, but I did not hear it.
"You still grieve, my love." Legolas came up softly behind me.
I turned to him. "She has been my friend for many years." Legolas put his arms around me as I squeezed my eyes shut. "Haldir was my friend and my protector, but he fell in battle. That is what battle is."
"Yes," Legolas murmured. "That is what battle is."
Pulling away from him, I looked out on Ithilien again. "And now he walks again in the Undying Lands. But Gauna comforted me when I was afraid I would lose you. She was there on our wedding day. She was with me when Aara was born." A tear escaped my control. "When I was with her, it seemed like a different person. Age had withered her and it was as if her body just stopped. It was the most horrible thing I have ever seen."
My husband again held me to him. "That is the way of mortality, Rae," he said sadly. "It is what happens to all mortals."
I pressed my cheek to his shoulder. "It is what should have happened to me," I whispered.
He pulled back to look at me. "Why would you ever say that?"
"I turned my back on my people, Legolas. I never wanted to be human." I thought of all I had done. "I may have lost a cousin, or uncle, or even a brother at Helm's Deep or the Pelennor and I will never know!"
My husband let me again look out over our realm. "You would not have anyway."
His words were true, but I ignored them. "Our friends are mortal. Éowyn, Lord Faramir, Aragorn. Even the Evenstar is now mortal." I looked him in the eye. "Our daughter is mortal."
"That is not your fault! There is nothing that could have prevented that."
"Maybe not. But I will not stay to watch her die."
Legolas just looked at me. "What are you saying?"
I couldn't look at him. I couldn't bear to see his reaction. "I am leaving, Legolas. I am sailing for the Undying Lands."
His silence was worse than anything he could have said. I waited for him to respond in some way. But he didn't. I finally turned back to him. "I just cannot see that again." He still stayed silent and had turned away from me. "You have longed for the Sea for many years, Legolas. You could leave the colony in the hands of another." Suddenly I was afraid of what his response would be. "Will you not go with me?"
He finally turned to me. "Will you not stay?" Grief filled his eyes. "You know I cannot leave our people. I cannot leave the Fellowship."
"The Fellowship is broken!" I cried. "Frodo is gone! Mithrandir is gone! Merry and Pippin have not been heard from in years! Gimli has his own colony to rule." I gazed out over the colony for a moment, then turned back to my husband. "The world has lost its luster for me. I no longer wish to stay and witness death and I am not alone. Samwise Gamgee sails for the Undying Lands and I will sail with him."
He looked shocked. "Sam? How can Sam sail across the Sea?"
"That I do not know. But I have been thinking about this for a long time. Last night, Lady Galadriel appeared to me in a dream. She knows what I feel. She said, 'Take the road through the Shire. Seek out the Ringbearer's loyal companion and sail with him.'"
Legolas was again quiet. Then, he said just a little coldly, "Then you must go." I tried to stop him as he turned to leave the balcony, but he brushed my hand away. "When will you leave?" he asked without turning around.
"Sam plans to leave the Shire on September 22," I replied. "Frodo and Bilbo's birthday."
"Then you have little time."
My heart broke as I watched my husband leave our bedroom and shut the door.
…
Mae govannen – Welcome (Sindarin)
Meldanya – my beloved (Quenya)
Be iest lîn – As you wish (Sindarin)
