Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the DUNE universe.

This is a parody of Dune! I love the story and the characters but I just wanted to have a laugh! It's sort of out of character but if you like it, please REVIEW! It's a g-r-e-a-t pleasure for me! Here we go:

Paul: I…. Muad' Dib….am the sealer of human fate….

I…follow the secret paths of Sai Hulud….

I…rule… over your pitiful excuses of an- ehm ehm, sorry- I… rule …over the universe of my faithful believers…

I-

Chani:Usul! Are you practicing your goddam speech at the mirror again?

Paul: Aaaarg! Bugger off, woman! And it's not a mirror, it's called an Argk-Deltl-Huings-Alalalu-Maioh….Now, go get me mélange coffee.

Chani: Hmmmmph… Hello, I am the Fremen around here! Damn, my mother was right! I should have married Aladdin instead….

Paul: But he's broke! And he shows off all the time… While…I…., The One Who Brought Showers To Arrakis, am the one who is worshiped all over the Universe! I AM THE-

Leto: Oh, not again!

Paul:GOD OF RAIN, THE TAMER OF THE ONE AND ONLY SAI HULUD, THE-

Ghanima: Leto, please let that Bruce Lee personality take over you for a while and shut his mouth! Please, please, please, please!

Leto: What's in it for me?

Paul: WHO OBEY MY WILL AND BOW BEFORE-

Ghanima: I will give you my Ixian magical sphere! And… and, hey, how about, let's just say, ten 'impressive entrance' grenades and a crysbrush?

Alia enters the room, walking like a robot.

With a mechanical voice she says: I-AM-THE-TERMINATOR, I-WILL-ELIMINATE-THE-THREAT…..

Alia-Possessed-by-the-Terminator-personality exits the room after banging herself on the door.

Leto: And get what she got? Hell NO! Poor, poor Schwarzenegger… I mean, Aunt Alia!

Ghanima: Hey, look, Grandma is here! Perhaps she can-

Jessica: My son, Paul, STOP!

Leto: (whispering to Ghanima) She's using the Voice!

Ghanima: Listen, bro. Just 'cuz you're the one who'll cover himself in awful, sticky worms and live like…more than it takes Dad to say a sentence that makes sense, which is give or take 35 centuries, it doesn't mean that I don't know simple, 'one plus one makes two' things, such as manipulating others and go undetected. OK?'

Jessica: I said STOP!

Paul: THE ULTIMATE PROPHET, THE ONE-WHO-WHEN-HE-TALKS-EVERY-ONE-SHUTS-THE-FUCK-UP, THE-

Chani: Oh, somebody throw him a melange pie….

Jessica: STOP! STOP! What the-! STOOOP! It doesn't work! SHIT!

She turns her back and leaves, but runs on Alia who says: I-WILL-SHOW-YOU-AND-SAVE-THE-EARTH. Jessica tries to flee but Alia drugs her out of the room.Duncan Idaho (the ghola) tries to save Jessica, for he is secretly in love with her. Alia-Terminator kills him. As he dies he says: Two deaths for Jessica. And I didn't even get the strip show she promised.

Leto: I think Grandma forgot the monthly maintenance of her Voice skills.

Ghanima: Well, she certainly didn't forget the Bottox. Considering that in her sixties she has that hottie Duncan- Forget it... Hey, I figured out a plan! Let's shock him!

Leto: Dad, Stilgar told me he wants to be a ballerina.

Paul: THAT TIME IS LIKE THE WELL FROM THE RING MOVIE, BOTTOMLESS AND-

Ghanima: Dad, Leto is hitting on Harah.

Paul: MY GIFT, WHICH- What? Harah did you say?

Leto: Ahm…yes, indeed. And I'm not the only one, the memories inside tell me…

Chani: What does he mean, Usul?

Paul: I don't know, I swear! I...I have rights! This is neutral ground-

Chani: I AM OFFENDED! Your taste really sucks, man!

Chani kills Paul with her crysknife.

Chani: Son, I am really disappointed. Is this how we taught you? Hah?

Leto: Mum, I-

Chani: Oh, go cover yourself in worms.

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That's it? Did you laught at all? A little bit? C'mon tell me:-)