That Butler, Dispensable


I own nothing but my OC.

≤speech in Indian language≥

'thoughts'

"speech"

{setting/stage directions?}

SOUND EFFECTS

An entire sentence like this, without quotes, is narration for dreams or stuff like written letters.

=†=†=†=†= scene shift/time shift

—^—^—^— change of perspective/area of action within one specific time frame/location


Previously:

Lightning flashed outside while Chêne waited in the drawing room with Jeremy and Ciel after they had returned from getting the change of dry clothes. Arthur and the other guests were still there as well.

"Young Master," Bard said, poking his head into the room. "We're done relocating the bodies."

"Nn," Ciel said.

"Right, then!" said Jeremy, clapping his hands together. "Shall we take a closer look at the corpses in the order they were murdered?"


'Finni was sayin' he felt like it was okay to trust this man—or something like that, but… this fella materialized outta thin air, and now, he's pullin' this whole high-'n'-mighty act… who is this clown?' Bard wondered, watching Jeremy with suspicion while he conversed with Arthur and Ciel.

"So it is to be Lord Siemens first, yes?" Jeremy asked them.

"I'm coming with yooou toooo!" Grey declared, volunteering himself.

"This way," Ciel said, leading them on.

"You don't have to look so openly hostile, Bard," Chêne told him as they watched them go. "He is here to help."

"So you say..." Bard said, frowning. He still didn't like the guy's attitude.

—^—^—^—

"The corpses of Siemens, Phelps, and Sebastian have each been set out in the order of their deaths within the rooms on this side of the hall," Ciel explained as he guided the others down the hall.

"Much obliged, my lord," Jeremy said as they entered the first room. He kneeled down beside Siemens' body and removed the sheet covering it. He began examining the body. "—Hmm. He has but one external injury, the wound to his chest. Stabbed once with a sharp blade, I would say." He paused when he picked up the German's handsome pocket watch. "This man was none too pleasant when he was drunk, was he?"

"What makes you say that?" Grey asked.

"Oh, it was quite clear the minute I saw this," Jeremy replied, holding up the pocket watch. "We have here a very expensive-looking pocket watch, but there are numerous scratches around the key wind. Only a terrible boor or a drunkard would do such a thing, don't you agree?" He sniffed the air. "And this pungent odor of alcohol is proof that he was drinking spirits of considerable strength right up till the moment of his death… Oh?"

"What is it?" Ciel asked.

"I detect an ever-so-slight scent of the sea..." Jeremy said, sniffing again.

"The sea?" Arthur asked. Grey narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Ah, Professor, would you happen to carry a handkerchief?" Jeremy asked.

"Ah! Yes," Arthur said, retrieving one from his pocket and handing it over. "Here you are." He was horrified when the vicar proceeded to shove his clean handkerchief into the dead man's mouth. "Hey, now just a—" He froze when Jeremy began sniffing the cloth. "Whaaaa…!?"

"… Hrm," Jeremy said, furrowing his brow slightly. He stood back up and promptly returned the used handkerchief to its owner. "Thank you so very much," he told Arthur.

"Eh…!?" Arthur gasped in disgust at the damp cloth placed in his hands. 'Ugh, how foul...'

"Now!" Jeremy said, wasting no time in moving on the next room. "Mister Phelps is next, I do believe?" They marched down the hall to the next room.

"The manner of his death alone differed from that of the other two," Arthur said while Jeremy kneeled down to have a look for himself. "I think it likely that he was injected with a poison via the puncture wounds on his neck… At the time of his death, the only entrance to the room was locked, creating a perfect locked room scenario."

"I see..." Jeremy said, examining the wounds on Phelps's neck. "May I take a look at the room in which he met his end?"

"Aah, let me show you," Arthur said. For that, they had to go upstairs.

—^—^—^—

"Vicar Jeremy's powers of observation are quite extraordinary, so he might notice something we missed in there," Arthur said to Ciel as they climbed the stairs with Grey.

"Hm?" Grey said when he realized Jeremy wasn't following. He stopped and leaned on the railing to look down. "That old man isn't with is!" he observed with disapproval. Arthur and Ciel stopped too.

"Jeremy?" Ciel called.

"Right behind you!" Jeremy said as he climbed the stairs below them into view, wiping his face as if he had been sweating. He soon caught up with them. "I apologize for making you wait. Come, let's be off."

"This is why I can't stand old men..." Grey said.

"Er, so you had a handkerchief of your own all along..." Arthur said, chagrined. They continued on until they reached Ciel's room. The remains of what used to be the door were still scattered about in the open doorway. Jeremey pulled out a magnifying glass when he entered the room and immediately set about examining key points in the room. He seemed to spend a good deal of time examining the bed and the bell pull by the vent.

"It would appear there exist multiple villains in this case," Jeremy announced while looking at the bell pull.

"!!" the other three said. Grey and Ciel furrowed their brows.

"So that's how it is after all..." Ciel said.

"Catching Lord Siemens's killer will be simple enough, but catching Mister Phelps's killer will be rather difficult work," Jeremy said, holding his chin. "And securing the latter ought to be our first priority to prevent any more loss of life. Anyhow, no persons will be able to set out of the manor in this storm."

"What are you talking about?" Arthur asked. Jeremy looked at him. He held up two fingers.

"There are two conditions which must be met in order for us to capture Phelp's killer. The first is to wait for nightfall," Jeremy explained, puling one finger down. "The second is… your cooperation, Earl Phantomhive."

"My cooperation?" Ciel asked.

"Yes, yours," Jeremy answered. "Let us discuss all the details this evening."

"So now it's the Butler's turn, right?" Grey said. "Let's go back." Ciel and Jeremy exchanged a glance.

—^—^—^—

They headed back down to the three rooms with the bodies and opened the door to the last one.

KACHACK.

Inside was a perfectly ordinary bedroom with a corpse lying under a sheet in the middle of the room.

"If I recall, I'd heard that the butler was stabbed to death after being bludgeoned…" Jeremy said. "I do beg your pardon, my good man..." he told the dead body as he began lifting the sheet.

"Ugh…!" Ciel groaned, covering his mouth as he suddenly paled and buckled at the knees a little. He had to grab the doctor's arm for support.

"E—! Earl Phantomhive!?" Arthur said, concerned, flinching in surprise. "What's wrong!? Are you quite well…!?" he asked urgently.

"Nn?" Grey said, turning away from the body to look at the younger earl too.

"Forgive me… to see Sebastian's corpse yet again… is much too hard for me to bear..." Ciel apologized.

"Are you all right? Why do we not take a little break outside?" Arthur suggested nervously, trying to do his best to comfort him.

"Thank you, Professor…" Ciel said a little weakly.

"Eeh?" Grey said doubtfully. "Didn't you just strip the butler's corpse without so much as blinking?"

"Hrmm!" Jeremy cleared his throat as he pulled the cloth over the corpse again. "The butler was killed most simply!"

"Is that it?" Grey asked.

"Yes. I've seen quite enough," Jeremy replied.

"Ah, it'll be dinnertime before long! I'm famiiiished!" Grey said. "What's on the menu today?"

"I'm not sure... Shall I enquire with the servants?" Ciel asked.

"Nah, don't bother. I'll look forward to the surprise," Grey replied carelessly, leaving the room. "I'm heading back first!"

"Well now, shall we return too?" Arthur suggested as he stepped out into the hall with Ciel and Jeremy.

"I need to see to the evening's preparations, so do go on ahead," Jeremy told them.

"Yes," Ciel said. Grey watched them out the corner of his eyes.

"..." Grey turned the corner, and then took off running back the way he came, past Arthur and Ciel.

WHAM!

He burst into the room. All was just as they had left it, but he wasn't taking any chances. He ripped the sheet from the body. The flapping cloth flew aside to reveal the deceased butler lying there with a peaceful expression on his face.

"..." Grey stared down at the scene before him, furrowing his brow. "… No, it couldn't have been… It's just not possible, huh..."

=†=†=†=†=†=

{Downstairs, Kitchen…}

"Can that old guy really catch whoever did this!?" Bard asked as he sat around the table with Finni and Mei-Rin.

"That concerns me too, but doing something about today's dinner comes first, it does," Mei-Rin said.

"Exactly. So how about you get started on prepping those vegetables?" Chêne suggested, bustling around the kitchen, making sure she had everything she needed. "Right, so the beans have been soaking since earlier… which means we need to boil them next!"

"Are you sure this will work?" Bard asked her.

"Yes, one of my cousins went through a vegetarian phase, so I've made it before. If we can get the texture right, they'll never know the difference," she replied, pulling out the stock pot.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

They all jumped at the sound of someone nocking at the door and paled.

"Hey, c'mon, don't tell me it's that dude in white again," Bard said nervously.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

"Let's pretend no one's here..." Mei-Rin suggested anxiously.

"We haven't any food leeeft!" Finni cried.

"… I don't want to answer either, but if it is him… won't he cut the door down if we don't?" Chêne said warily, frowning.

"You're in there, are you not? Won't you open the door for me?" Jeremy called from the other side of the door.

"Mister Jeremy?" Finni said, perking up. He got up and opened the door. "What can we do for you, Vicar?"

"If you've come lookin' for somethin' yo nosh on, you'll find none here, Vicar," Bard said plainly.

"Bard!" Mei-Rin scolded him for being impolite to a guest.

"I have not come to scrounge for food, but… what do you mean to say you have none?" Jeremy asked, furrowing his brow slightly.

"I-It is most mortifying to have to tell you this, Vicar… but you see, this and that, and such and such happened, and so..." Mei-Rin said nervously.

"It may be rude to say, but one of our guests eats like ten starved men," Chêne said frankly, already heating up the water for the beans. "Thanks to him, we've already gone through all the food Sebastian prepared for us, so now we're in a mad scramble to make something else."

"Yes, I do see," Jeremy mused, holding his chin. "So now you are at a loss for what to make for an evening meal?"

"Not entirely," Mei-Rin answered, "Missus Chêne says we can make 'meat' out of the soy beans, but..."

"With the way that guest eats, even enough 'hamburg steaks' for thirty people may not be enough…" Chêne finished, adding soy beans to the pot. "Besides, we have no idea when this storm will let up, so we need to ration what we have left, right?"

"I see. Then the only problem is this guest's abnormally large appetite?" Jeremy said. "… You have an herb garden here, don't you?"

"Yes, Mister Sebastian grew lots of herbs..." Finni said.

"Excellent! Herbs would prove a great help!" Jeremy said.

"It's not like herbs bear fruit, so how'd that fill a belly?" Bard asked.

"Each herb not only has its own taste and unique flavor, but medicinal properties as well. And among them are many that control appetite. An herb such as fennel is a prime example. By using it and its like to flavor the earlier courses, you can control the total amount of food consumed," Jeremy explained.

"Wow, I didn't know herbs could do that!!" Finni exclaimed, lighting up.

"Ah, I can't believe I forgot about that!" Chêne said, smacking herself on the forehead. It seemed so obvious now.

"Well, you've been through a lot," Bard said.

"Of course, they are not always effective," Jeremy said. "Furthermore, you said you plan to make meat out of soy beans. May I offer my assistance? Preparing it is a little troublesome."

"You have experience with this?" Bard asked.

"Yes. Cooking is a kind of chemistry, in which a variety of results are possible by an infinite number of combinations of ingredients," Jeremy replied.

"Mister Jeremy, you are so very knowledgeableee!!" Finni praised him.

"Ordinarily, we couldn't put a guest to work like this, but as you're offering..." Chêne said.

CLAP.

"Now!" Jeremy said, clapping his hands together. "You be better served by getting to work instead of being impressed. It's nearly dinnertime!" Jeremy told the three stooges. "How far have you gotten with those beans?" he asked Chêne.

"They're boiling as we speak," she replied.

" 'Kay, then I'll go pick the herbs!" Finni said brightly.

"I'll chop 'em up!" Bard said.

"I will go with Mister Tanaka to get the wine… uh… Aah!!" she gasped, suddenly flinching and paling.

"What's up?" Bard asked her.

"I-I-I-I just recalled something, I did!! When we were checking the ladies' things, I found something quite unbelievable!" Mei-Rin exclaimed.

"Unbelievable?" Jeremy and Chêne asked. Bard glanced at them. For two people who had never met before, they were pretty in sync with each other.

"Miss Irene has a bottle full of dark red liquid in her possession, she does. And when Young Master and the other guests saw Mister Phelps's corpse, they mentioned vampires," Mei-Rin explained.

"Yes, I see. That is quite peculiar," Jeremy mused, holding his chin.

"Also, it seems that Miss Irene is actually twelve years older than Mister Keane, right Missus Chêne?" Mei-Rin added.

"Twelve years!?" Bard and Finni exclaimed in shock.

"I thought that maybe her unaging beauty comes from her being a vampire..." Mei-Rin said.

"If she's a vampire, she could pass through walls and stuff, right?" Finni asked, getting scared.

"That kinda thing only happens in fairy tales," Bard said.

"I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation," Chêne said, giving Finni a comforting smile. "It's not unheard of for women to look so much younger. My mom and dad are about the same age, but she looks so young that they often get strange looks from people who don't know them."

"Really?" Finni asked hopefully.

"Really. It's just good genes," she assured him. She left out the fact that one of her ancestors was actually accused of being a witch because of it. "As for that suspicious liquid, I doubt it's blood."

"What makes you say that with so much confidence?" Bard asked.

"Well, wouldn't it spoil at room temperature?" Chêne pointed out. "I can't imagine that would taste very good, hypothetically speaking."

"…" Bard didn't know what to say to that. She said so seriously…

"Well, It is true that I've never met an actual vampire myself, but… I have an idea as to what that liquid might be," Jeremy said.

"Eeh!? Really, you do!?" Mei-Rin exclaimed.

"Indeed. I shall relieve your curiosity on the subject tonight," he assured her. "Now, friends, it is time to give your undivided attention to the preparation of the evening meal." He began removing his jacket. "I'll lend you a hand as well. Even if we do not proceed apace, the night, when spirits and goblins run wild, is nearly upon us."

=†=†=†=†=†=

SHAAAA.

The rain came down as hard as ever outside the manor in the darkness, but inside the dining room it was warm and inviting. The perfect place to relax and have a meal, if not for the three murders.

"Ahhh, I'm stuffed to the giiills!" Grey said cheerfully amid stacks of plates, completely satisfied. "That was sooo tasty! The hamburg steak wasn't fatty, so I felt like I could just keep putting them away! As one might expect from the Phantomhive house, the meat in its kitchens is in a class by itself!"

"You do me a great honor with your kind words, Earl Grey," Ciel replied politely. Chêne tried not to smile too much, while she helped Tanaka clear the used plates away. Bard, Finni, and Mei-Rin grinned at each other from their hiding place behind a door. Jeremy smiled and nodded in approval.

"Well, now that our appetites have been appeased, wouldn't you say it's about time you stopped teasing us and explained all the facts of the case, Vicar?" Lau said, removing his napkin from his neck.

"!" Grey's expression immediately became serious.

"No need to be so hasty. There is one thing we must see to first," Jeremy said, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "May I count on your collaboration, my lord?" he asked Ciel.

"… Yes… what is it you need me to do?" Ciel asked, pausing before he could finish his last bite of 'hamburg steak'.

"Then Earl Phantomhive…" Jeremy said, "… if you would please remove your clothes." The piece of soy meat fell from Ciel's fork as his jaw dropped.

"WHAAAT!!?" Ciel shouted incredulously.

=†=†=†=†=†=

Arthur sat on the floor of Ciel's bedroom in the darkness with Grey and Jeremy as he recalled the latter's instructions to Ciel:

Listen well, my lord. You must not utter a sound. You must not shudder in the slightest. Shut your eyes and sit still until I give you the word… If you do not… the 'band of death' will bind you faster than the eye can see.

Arthur pictured the poor earl, huddled up and unable to make a sound. 'What exactly does Mister Jeremy have up his sleeve?' he wondered as a bead of sweat slid down the side of his face.

I am certain the culprit will come to the earl's bed once again tonight. And there, we shall take him by surprise and capture him. Fear not, all will be well. The villain is sure to appear… However, as we cannot say 'from whence he will come', please be on your guard.

'—is how he put it, but… would the killer so casually return to the scene of his crime, truly?' Arthur thought.

—^—^—^—

Phelps's killer crept down the hall then up through a vent, inching closer and closer to the target.

—^—^—^—

"!" Jeremy went on the alert when he heard the faint sound of something creeping around in the darkness.

"—!" Arthur wasn't sure whether he heard it or felt it, but he knew one thing. 'Something… is getting ever closer to us,' he thought nervously. It crept closer and closer. 'Here it comes!!' He heard the sound of something wriggling and sliding across fabric.

"Now! Get away!!" Jeremy shouted.

"!!" Ran-Mao promptly kicked the comforter from the bed along with the killer.

FWAP! FWUNK.

The instant it hit the floor, Grey charged.

"You're mine!!" he shouted at the killer, drawing his sword to attack.

CLAANG.

Grey's eyes widened in surprise when his attack was blocked by Jeremy using the spade from the room's fireplace set, while the vicar held the killer in place inside the comforter using the fire poker.

"Wha—!?" Grey said, shocked.

"He is my precious witness," Jeremy said. "I can't have you killing him!" Arthur lit a candle.

"Th—This… is the killer!?" he asked, holding it out to shed more light on the odd scene before him.