disclaimer: All characters (except the brief mentions of Jenny) are the property of Marvel and I expect no monetary benefit from this work of fiction.
The Journey Home
by Dizi
Chapter 2: Wolverine
My girl has hidden talents. You should see this little piece of junk Geo-Metro she has. She drove across country is this thing? And she fit everythin' we're takin' with us in it too. That took real talent in my book.
I tried ta talk her inta gettin' rid of it and gettin' somethin' else but she had a fit. That was fun. It was fun pickin' at all the stuff she wanted to keep too. Not that she's keepin' that much, what's she need dishes for at Chuck's place? An' I kept meanin' ta get a new couch but never got 'round to it. I really like the chair. Not sure where ta put it, but I like it.
We're takin' the scenic route back, but it ain't gonna be all fun and games. She wants ta be back scrappin' with the team, then I intend ta make sure she's not gonna be in the med-lab first time out.
Not sure how I feel about that. Everything in me says ta keep her home safe 'n sound, but if I tried to do that she wouldn't be her. Jubes been goin' against the big boys a long time, it's a little late to stop it now. If she didn't say that, I'm sure someone else would. Equal rights and all that shit.
So I'll just have to work her ass off on the way home.
Curled up in the seat beside me, Jubes is asleep right now. Had her first workout and I wore her out good. It's not that she lost much but she's outta habit. I can fix that. Despite what I told her, I went easy this first time. We'll build up as we go, that's the best way.
We burned that damn letter in the sink before we left. Went over it line by line together, gettin' things out in the open. Told her how much I'd missed her when she was gone an' how I used ta look forward ta seein' her when she'd come back fer a visit. Explained I never meant ta break it off when I left last time. I'm not good at givin' voice ta my feelings but I made an effort. She knows me better than anybody else - alive or dead - so she knew that. Though she ripped me one about sayin' what I mean.
Hell, I even explained about those nightmares I had. That wasn't easy, let me tell ya. She really didn't like bein' reminded of my past with other women, but she sure took to the idea that I've gotten over 'em. Especially Jean since Silver Fox and Mariko are dead. Man who's been around as long as me is gonna have "issues" and a past, nothin' I can do 'bout that. Jubes says she gets that. We'll see.
Damn sure I'll hear about it if it happens again instead a listenin' to her cry when she thinks I don't hear her. Man callin' out another woman's name at just that time is hard ta swallow. Should have known somethin' was wrong when she didn't say anythin'. At the time I was just grateful she wasn't cryin' in front of me. I'm a man, I couldn't help it, that's the way men are.
We're done runnin', the two of us. We promised we'd go off together if necessary ta work things out, not go off alone. You'd think I'd have learned that a long time ago, but it took her doin' it for me ta get the message. I was definitely a bad influence on her. What does that say for our future?
Not that I'm worried, mind. If I was I'd tell her. Learned that one.
An' I got some stuff gotta talk ta her 'bout when we stop fer the night. If I get my way, that'll be a campsite I know of. If not, it'll be a hotel. Expect either way we'll have a loud "discussion" 'bout it.
Sleepin' with her in my arms again was good. Real good. Ain't been with a woman in over a year an' just lyin' beside her wasn't easy. The right thing, the necessary thing, but not the easy one. I wanna take my time with her, make sure everythin's right this time.
Maybe ya don't know how different that is for me, waitin' fer what I want. And I want her. More than anything else, I want her. There's been no one for me since we were together last. Not that I didn't have an urge, just not for anyone but Jubes. Something in me wouldn't let me take any of the offers that came my way.
Ya see, I said she's changed but I have too. Nothing major like with her, but I can feel a difference. I'm more attuned ta her. Don't think we've bonded, or not all the way. After thinkin' on it, from what I can tell the process started a long time ago. It's been goin' on ever since she first saved me. That same thing that wouldn't let me see her as an adult fer so long didn't let it finish 'cause she was still a kid an' not ready.
She's not a kid anymore. Jubilee is all woman now. A grown woman who's ready ta make a commitment, I feel it. She has ta know what that means before we make love again.
Once we go to that last stop this time, there's no goin' back. She'll be mine in a way she never dreamed - scratch that, she mighta dreamed of it. We'll be bound together tighter than any marriage could make us. "For as long as we both shall live" will take on a whole new meanin'.
I don't know if I'll die with her, I didn't with Mariko. But then, even though we'd been as intimate as a man an' a woman can get, we weren't physically together that much. We both had responsibilities we weren't willin' ta give up. The bond didn't have a chance ta set in like it does with Jubes.
That's what I hafta talk ta her about tonight, hafta make sure she understands. I'm pretty sure Jubes will take ta the idea like a baby takes ta candy, but she won't be able ta say I didn't warn her.
One things fer sure, I may not know if I'll die with Jubilee, but I do know I wanna live with her.
Fits and all, though I like her fits - 'course, I 'm not callin' 'em that ta her face. Just like she likes me fine when I'm 'growly' as she puts it. Neither of us would know what to do if we were any other way. I missed that in her before. She said somethin' 'bout tryin' ta be what I wanted. What she didn't understand was she's my firecracker, an' she just wasn't right when she wasn't actin' like it.
Made a point a that last night an' she's been all fired up ever since. Well, until I wore her out anyways.
Can't help thinkin' I made a mistake in not takin' control of myself an' where we was goin' the first time. If I had we might not have wasted a whole damn year, good for her or not. It's too late for that now. We're suppose to be sharing, which really is what I want, and she might not have come to the point she's at now. She might not have become my partner again. Then again, she might have. We'll never know.
All that aside, the big thing stuck in my craw is that she won't share her pain with me. It affected her so bad she's had nightmares for years but she won't talk ta me about it. Part of moving forward is getting past the pain but we can't do that if she won't talk to me about it. I opened up, as best I could, told her 'bout my fears, but she won't. What kinda bullshit is that?
Jubes told me lots of stuff last night, let out her feelings having to do with me, but not what I asked. Now what I needed to know. Bastion. Just thinking the name makes me angry. The sonuvabitch hurt my little girl! Alright, she's not a little girl anymore, I've said that, but she was at the time.
Don't I have a right to know? If I found out some bastard had raped a kid I'd never seen or heard of before, I'd make them pay for it - and I have - but she won't let me do it for her? It's been so long I probably couldn't find them. I can tell her that and maybe she'll change her mind, tell me what I want to know. It might even be true.
Dammit! I want to know! If I'd asked her when I first found out, she'd have told me. But no, I had to be concerned about how she was actin' and wait. Jubes would've done anything I wanted then. Just scowl, growl, tear some things up, and out the answers would have come.
Not anymore. It's not always easy lovin' a firecracker. Wouldn't want it any other way, but it ain't always gonna be easy now she's strong enough to stand up to me. But why did she have to pick this to keep back? She knows how I feel about that kinda thing. It bein' her makes it worse.
This ain't somethin' I'm just giving up on, though. Maybe if I tell her they're probably hurtin' other little girls - which is true - she'll give in. Or maybe she'll have a weak moment. It could happen. People backslide all the time. I just get the feelin' if she does it won't be about this.
Stubborn's what I call it. Probably got that from me too. Why didn't she pick up my good habits? Whatever they are.
I still keep lookin' at her ta be sure she's there, sniff the air ta take in her scent, listen ta her breath. It's been so long I'm afraid I'll wake up in her room still alone, Remy snickerin' at me an' all the women givin' me pitiful looks. Everybody duckin' outta sight when I start talkin' 'bout goin' ta find her.
How I missed her, my Jubilee. Hope to God I don't wake up. I couldn't take that again.
to be continued.
note:
Many thanks to all those who reviewed. Just a reminder that if you don't log in or leave an email address I can't respond. Also a reminder that I do have a schedule that I keep posted on my bio which I update regularly (like everytime I post).
Next chapter goes back to Jubilee's pov. I really am alternating properly this time. In case you hadn't figured it out, that means we began with Jubes and will end with Wolvie.
Thanks for reading and the support,
Dizi
