Hullo, hullo! Look its another exciting chapter to an amazingly stupid fic! Yay! (Readers all politely cough, but say nothing.) Okay, well out of the entire story I'd have to sayd this is the most random chapter. If you know absolutely nothing about any of the following stories; Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and LOST, then this will really confuse you. Just as a note, before you start reading, Ethan is a bad guy who tried to kill Charlie (in LOST) and Charlie shot him. I'll just assume that you know a enough about Lord of the Rings, and if you need help with Harry Potter then you are a sad person… or a very wise person (Good for you for not following the crowd!)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it…

"Lemonade anyone?" asked Kaiba, for some strange reason he was wearing a pink apron and had been making cookies.

"I think I preferred him when he was grumpy" Tristan whispered to Joey.

"Me too" said Tea overhearing them "let's see what's on TV" she clicked the remote.

"It's Manga Eye for the Anime Guy!" said the TV "The Fab Four of Yu-Gi-Oh!"

"Hey" said Joey "that's Alistir!"

"And that's Pegasus!" said Pharaoh

"And Dartz!" said Tea

"And…" They all looked in disbelief "Yugi!"

"didn't you know?" asked Kaiba, who had finally taken the apron off and was now wearing a white coat "he's the newest member of the fab four"

The others could only shake their heads in disbelief.

"I need to be alone-" began the pharaoh but was cut off by Tristan.

"Oh no you don't!" He said, pulling the tiny pharaoh away from the corner. "Your druggy days are over!"

"But-" said Pharaoh, reaching for his bulging hair. "You can't do that! I'm the mighty Pharaoh! I RULE ALL!" His purple eyes blazed with anger.

"And I'm taller than you! So sit down! We're all going watch this show, and then we're going to get make overs, and THEN we're going to go find Yugi!"

"Yay!" squealed Tea. "And we're gonna do it because we're all friends!" She ran to the Pharaoh and gave him a big hug. Then she hugged Tristan, Joey, herself and then Kaiba. In truth, Kaiba tried his hardest to get away, he even tried to throw himself over a cliff, but as he soon found, Tea was not easily disracted from her hugging duties.

Kaiba wretched as Tea finally caught up with him and gave him a big hug.

"Now lets find Yugi!" she shrieked delightedly, unknowingly running for the cliff and-

They all heard a 'crack' as something hit the bottom of the canyon below.

"Now" said Pharaoh "I must mourn Tea's death"

"I'm not quite dead!" came the voice of Tea from the bottom of the cliff

"Then, I must mourn her fall, that killed her" said Pharaoh expectantly

"I think I can make it"

"well, let's just go shall we?"

Well everyone thought that this idea was just dandy, so they left Tea at the bottom of the cliff.

"hello?" …and that was the last anyone ever heard from Tea again…JUST KIDDING! That would be too happy, and, as you know, Happy things don't happen often on Yu-Gi-Oh! Somehow Tea managed to climb back up the steep wall of the cliff and, even though she was hours behind her traveling team, managed to catch up with them. When she found them they all appeared to have discovered Pharaoh's stash and were playing 'I never'.

"I never wore a purple coat!" Pharaoh said, as an excuse to take a swig of Captain Morgan. Kaiba drank as well and so did Yugi- who had appeared out of nowhere when he'd heard of Tea's 'unfortunate' accident.

'Unfortunately' for Yugi, the joke was on him. Tea gave a hoarse squeal as she appeared mangled and injured onto their scene.

"Yugi!" She said through chipped teeth, "I missed you soooo much!" She ran over to give him a bloody hug, one armed because the other was missing.

"Whoa Tea!" Yugi said, backing away, "You don't look too good!"

"HAHA!" Tristan laughed drunkenly as he pointed at Tea "Your missing half of your face!"

Tea's good side of her face blushed, "What about those make-overs we were going to give each other?"

Everybody thought this was a spiffy idea and Yugi offered to do the facials (Which melted the rest of Tea's face off). Pharaoh did the eye liner and mascara which he already wore rather liberal amounts of and Joey brought the food.

Tristan made the mistake of taking a nap, and when he woke up he couldn't help noticing that everyone started giggling when they looked at him. Then he noticed that something was different, he felt his head.

"I've never played this game before" said Joey, and took a swig of rum.

Everyone else was about to follow suit when a very angry and hung-over Tristan came stumbling into the room "Okay, who did it! Who shaved my unicorn doo!"

The others fell to the floor laughing, and Tristan stormed out.

He sat outside of wherever they were and thought about all the good times he and his hairdo had shared.

Yugi joined him "gee Tristan, cheer up, I used to have a unicorn doo, and then some friends shaved it off, with any luck you'll turn out just like me.

Tristan looked at Yugi "NOOOOOOOOOO" he screamed "WHY GOD, WHY! OUCH!"

Pharaoh had come over and whipped him "I'm the only god you bow down to!" he said "and Yugi! Get back into the puzzle where you belong!"

"Yes master." Said Yugi humbly, and disappeared inside of the puzzle.

Pharaoh glared at Tristan.

"What?" asked Tristan, still moping.

"You have not bowed down to me yet, and your hairdo offends me." He then turned and left.

"Harsh." Said Mokuba, coming out of the house. "But don't worry. I still like you, because like Tea, I believe in friendship!"

Tristan rolled his eyes. He would've started to hit his head against a cactus again, but he felt that without his hair it just wouldn't be the same.

"I think all you need is a hug!" said Tea "and then you won't be such a gwumpy guss"

Tristan stared at the now rotting mass of Tea flesh coming towards him and screamed

"Stay away!" he said "I think you should go to the hospital before you get infected"

"But I don't want to" said Tea stubbornly

"Tea's right!" said Pharaoh. "No matter how disgusting she looks, we cannot bring her to the hospital"

"But why?" asked Joey

"Too expensive" the pharaoh explained "no Tea is worth any amount of my money"

Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Yugi? YUUUUUGIIIIIII?" one of the Mario brothers came stumbling into the room.

"Hey it's Luigi!" said Joey

"No" said Tea "that's just Yugi's grandpa"

Yugi's grandpa gasped as he saw Tea "what is that thing?" he asked and started backing away before he stumbled and fell to the ground, breaking his back and three ribs.

"Ha!" said Pharaoh "your not one of the Mario brothers at all! You're just a decrepit old coot!

"yugi?"

"Stupid fool!" said Pharaoh "I ought to whip you-"CRACK

A staff fell on Pharaoh's head "fool of a Pharaoh!"

Everyone gasped as a taller and wiser decrepit old man appeared from behind Pharaoh's unconscious body. "Who are you?" Yugi asked, coming out of the puzzle because he was the one who asked stupid questions. The old geezer raised a long white eyebrow and shrugged off his gray cloak to reveal shimmering, luminescent, white, billowing robes. He removed his tattered hat and than looked upon the startled Anime' once again. "Spark any memories?" He asked.

They all shook their heads slowly. "Oh honestly," The stranger huffed grumpily, " Don't any of you keep up with pop culture these days? I'm Mithrandir, Storm crow, Gandalf Grayham if that does anything for you. I am currently reviving a fellowship that I had many years back for a new quest that is wreaking havoc on all planes of existence. The power behind this great destruction is known as Sauron, he once took form in a giant eye wreathed in flame-"

"The leviathan!" Yugi gasped.

"Uh no." Gandalf said, "No, I don't think so. We got rid of Sauron a ways back with my fellowship but now some of his old followers that weren't sucked into the ground and back to the evil from whence they came are taking their revenge."

"Big time!" Came a voice from behind him. The yu-gi-oh characters faces grew dumber as a large group of characters from various books, movies and shows appeared from behind Gandalf. The new speaker had a southern accent and a sly grin. "Sawyer," He said, introducing himself to the Anime onlookers.

Pharaoh woke up and shoved Yugi back into his puzzle. To an uneducated eye it would appear that Yugi had just doubled in height. "SAWYER!" Pharaoh said, and bowed graciously, "From LOST! I am honored to be in your presence,"

"And what- the wizard who helped save middle earth gets a glance at the most?" Gandalf asked indignantly.

"You hit me," Pharaoh said icily, "Is Harry Potter here? I wish to ask him why he didn't try out the puzzle."

"Oi!" A red headed adolescent answered him, "Harry said you were a creep and we're not letting some crack headed anime' pharaoh shove him into a toy!"

A bushy haired girl pushed the red headed boy aside "Oh Ron, shut up! Can't you see we're in the presence of an Egyptian king?"

"You ALL better shut up because I haven't understood a thing said so far!" Joey yelled.

Immediately everyone burst into laughter.

"This guy's got himself an appetite," Sawyer laughed. Everyone nodded.

"I've seen greedier," Gandalf mused, "You haven't seen a glutton until you've watched a hobbit eat…"

"I resent that!" Said a guy who was shorter than Yugi, He was only about three and a half feet tall and he had dark curly hair and large, bare, hairy feet.

"Frodo!" Gandalf said, rolling his eyes, " Get in the back of the crowd and pretend that you don't exist until its time for us to risk your life."

"Give him a moment for pities sake!" Said a tall Gondorian (If you haven't seen Lord of the Rings you'll be confused…what? You think I'm gonna make it easier for you?). A man from behind that one with dark long hair, grey eyes and dirty hands put a hand on the gondorian's shoulder. "Calm down Boromir," The mysterious stranger said, "There is much to learn of Mithrandir's thoughts."

"Hey," Said Pharaoh, "That Mysterious stranger looks kingly…and I don't know why!"

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn and heir to Isildur's throne." The Mysterious Stranger said, "And I would like you to meet my new friend Ethan, he says he's King of the Lost Island."

The Lost cast all attacked Ethan before he could shake hands with Pharaoh. Mean while Charlie from Lost and Merry from Lord of the Rings were avoiding each other's glances.

At the sight of Ethan Charlie picked up a gun and shot him twenty-five times in the chest. BAM, BAM, BAM etc… and then he just sorta crumpled. (A/N that was brilliant! Everyone applaud Charlie!)

"Stop, stop, STOP!" cried Pharaoh, disappointed that all of this attention was being given to people other than himself. "I'm going to press this button that just appeared out of nowhere and zap you all into oblivion" ZAP everyone who wasn't from yu-gi-oh disappeared, except Ethan who stood up.

"Hey" he said "is that one of the Mario brothers?"

"No" said Pharaoh "that's just Gramps." uh oh, Yugi was trying to communicate. "No" said Pharaoh "and stop talki-"

"HELP! The Pharaoh trapped me in a puzz-"

"no he didn't you little-"

"save me!-"

"I'm warning you, I'm gonna throw you off a cliff the next time I see one!-"

"Bring me that Mario Brother or I will kill one of them!" Said Ethan, ignoring the odd dispute the Yami and the Yugi were having.

"Stop it! –" Commanded the pharaoh.

"HELP-" Yugi screamed.

"STOP IT-"

" HELP!"

"And then the next night I'll kill another one" Ethan continued, undaunted.

"Yugi this has gone far enough-" Said Pharaoh, still ignoring Ethan.

" Let me out!"

"And another and another and another and-"Ethan went on.

"I'll do anything just let me out you-"

"And I'll kill you last" Everyone stopped and looked at Ethan, even Pharaoh and Yugi.

"Wow" said Joey "that's harsh, even for an evil guy"

"I think all you need is a hug!" said the smelly rotten mass of flesh that used to be Tea.

Ethan screamed and ran away.

"That was weird…" Said Joey, "I didn't realize this fic was going to be so…so random."

"Yeah" said Tea, and as she said this her feet started crumbling.

"Finally!" said Pharaoh. "I was beginning to wonder if she would ever kick the bucket!"

"Eek!" she squealed. "Pharaoh, Joey, Tristan! Save me!"

"Ha!" laughed Pharaoh. "Now you will die!"

"I'm Melting, mmeellltttiiinnngg" Tea wailed and started to decompose right there on the carpet. (A/N isn't that a great visual? Any who, back to the story.)

When everybody had gotten tired of watching Tea die, they decided that this would be the perfect time to get rid of yugi as well who, as we all know, was supposed to be dead anyhow.

"Ahhhh! No don't do it!" Said Yugi, pleading with his friends. But it was too late

"right" said Pharaoh "Tea, Get me my sword"

"Uh, Pharaoh" said Tristan "Tea just died, and I don't think you have a sword"

"What do you mean Tea's dead?" asked Pharaoh "who killed her?"

"She fell off a cliff, Remember?" said Joey, bewildered.

"Does this mean I get to live?" Asked Yugi hopefully.

"Hell no!" said the Pharaoh. "It just means I'll have to come up with another way to kill you. Hmm, lets think here." He said, sitting down on a rock and rubbing his chin. "Well, I can't kill you by sword…and using this gun I stole from Marik would be impossible…"

"Why…exactly?" asked Yugi, getting very confused.

"Yugi!" The pharaoh said, as if horrified by the thought, "Have you ever, in any of the Yu-Gi-Oh episodes, seen me use a gun?"

"No…" Said Yugi, though he was still confused.

"Right, so how do we know that my character is capable of handling a gun?"

"Oh come on!" said Joey, grabbing the gun. "Its not that hard!" With that he aimed at Yugi and fired. The bullet whizzed right through Yugi, and hit Mokuba instead.

"Seto!" cried Mokuba, falling to the ground. "Help… me…"

"Hold on a second!" snapped Kaiba irritably. "Can't you see I'm busy right now? Brothers!" Actually, Seto Kaiba was not busy. He was just waiting to see Yugi die.

"But…I thought being brothers meant the world to you Seto…" Mokuba said weakly.

"Yes, go ahead. Here's fifteen hundred dollars," Said Seto absent mindedly handing him a wad of cash.

"Are you listening Seto?" Mokuba's voice was growing fainter. "I…I love you bro…" With that he died.

"Oh stop being dramatic!" kaiba snapped at his dead brother. "Sheesh, one of these days he's actually going to be in trouble and nobody will care. Hey Mokuba! Have you ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? Huh?"

Of course, there was no answer.

Kaiba huffed all big brother like and continued to watch Yugi die…

Tristan had made popcorn and was chewing noisily.

"Can I have some?" asked Joey.

Tristan growled and turned away to down the rest of it in a single gulp. "Honestly Joey!" he said "you are such a pig!"

Joey resisted the urge to kick Tristan and turned his attention to Yugi…who had NOT died yet, but who was supposed to be dead. (does this make any sense at all?)

"I didn't die!" said Yugi gratefully, always stating the obvious. The Pharaoh scowled. There was only one way to settle a death like this, and that was to DUEL!

"Yugi!" he shouted. "I challenge you to a duel!"

"Gasp" Yugi gasped, he squinted his eyes "Fine, have it your way! I play The Seal of Oricalkose!..." To be continued…..