hey! sorry this chapter is kind of short but i think y'all will still like it ; ) and HEY! thanx SOOOO much for reviewing and stuff! i love you guys! fa real! (heheh) and yeaheveryone who reads should review y'know what i'm saying: D love you guys! x D

WATCH ME BLEED

keep it real

"C"-T-(R)

Baileyzzzzzzzzz


Chapter 6

"My father died that day," he said pointing to his chest and crying. "Because of me! To save me!" He was crying so hard, but every time I made a move to sit closer to comfort him he'd raise his hand as a single to not come any closer. He settled down slightly and continued to tell me.

"I ran home to Mia. I ran as fast my little legs could take me. 'Father's dead! Father's dead!'" he waved his arms around as he said this. "She just patted my head and said, 'You silly little boy, our daddy's fine.' She smiled warmly down at me." He looked up into the air, "She used to be so wonderful, Erin,"-he looked at me for the first time- "so wonderful…" he looked away again, taken back to his story. "I took her hand and she ran with me to where he lay motionless. I stopped us a few feet away from his body and I just pointed to him. She crept over to him ever so slowly and quietly. She knelt beside his body and touched his face. She began to sob then, broken tearless sobs she couldn't cry," he said.

Then his face changed and his eyes filled and overflowed with tears. It hurt that such beautiful, emerald eyes held such pain. He took a breath, but his voice shook and cracked at every word, "I began walking slowly- more slow than she had- towards his body. She snapped her now evil, anguished eyes to mine, 'NO! You go home now, Heath.' I didn't move, just looked at her with pleading eyes. 'NOW!' she bellowed. She didn't even let me say goodbye…." He whispered, weeping, his face in his hands.

I, of course, was sobbing like nothing else. So hard that I feared I really, truly never would be happy again. How could I be when so much has happened? How could Heath still smile? I couldn't believe what I was hearing…

"So I waited. I waited in my room afraid and lonely and wondering what would come next…" He then paused for a long while. His sobs stopped and his face seemed to take on another emotion, but I wasn't sure what it was. "She burst open my door and took me into her arms. We sobbed together for a very long time. 'Mommy….' I remember whispering. And she'd whisper my name back. We both quieted down some, just silent tears running down my cheeks and minimum catch's of breath from her. Then she threw me across the room and I hit the wall. 'Mommy!' I cried and began to sob again. Looking up at her with hurt eyes and a injured expression, she looked down at me empty. 'How dare you.' She muttered before leaving my room."

He looked at me again and pain reflected in his eyes once more.

If I thought I had been sobbing before… Those tears seemed like droplets of water compared the downpour that swept over me now.

"She started beating me the next day. She'd scream at me when she hit me or kicked me, or whichever. She'd tell me how it was all my fault," he was trying so diligently to stop crying, but to no avail, "how I killed him. That I was stupid and worthless and how he was wonderful and amazing," he put his face in his hand, "She told me our places should have been switched. That I should have died. And I agreed with her! I agree with her." His voice and his body shook on that last word. I wanted so bad to hug him. To comfort him in some why! But I felt like he had more to say and I felt he wasn't ready to be soothed.

"This lasted years, all day, never stopping, until night. When she would leave for reasons I do not know," he was whispering now. "Until one day she never came back. I knew she wasn't dead. There was no way. I knew she was waiting. Waiting to come back and surprise me or something." He was still whispered when he said, "And y'know, through it all, all the pain and hate and beatings. I never hated her and I never lost trust in her. And I most certainly never forgot about my elfin father." He looked at me then.

"I can feel him, you know? I've grown to now when he's around me," Heath told me and he seemed peaceful for a moment. "Sometimes he's a ghost in the midnight forest. Or he's the bubbling for a crystal brook. Or sometimes, he's the twinkling of the stars. He's infinite, Erin. Eternity. No matter what it is… sometimes and somehow, I feel him there." Tears returned to his eyes. "And I never got to thank him. But most important, I never got to say good-bye."

I threw my arms around him then and let him sob into me. His arms pulled me even closer and I allowed them to do such. We stayed in this embrace for what felt like forever. I pulled away and took his face in my hands. I looked deep into his red, puffy, eyes. Even after all that crying, he was still so beautifully handsome.

"Heath, I am so sorry," I whispered, slightly shaking my head. "I am so sorry this has happened to you."

A final tear slipped from his eye, but I caught it.

I had done all this out of impulse. I hadn't thought of a single thing accept that I wanted to help him, to help the one I loved. Something in those stunning, green eyes changed and I was suddenly aware of just how good his arms felt around me.

Was this really happening?

A long time passed and feeling made itself much known between us. Because of the long moments that had passed, his face became normal again, not red. He was still staring deep into my eyes when I became very weak in the knees and my heart wouldn't slow down. I let go of his face thinking it would help. It didn't. All I wanted to do was touch it again. He slowly, as if this was all new to him as well, let go of me with one arm so that one arm was around me and the other hand held behind my neck. He'd done this before, on that first day I was with him, but this time seemed true. And this time I understood the first time.

He pulled me closer and I keep my eyes locked with his as he hunched over to press his lips to mine. I leaned forward, but turned away just a moment before he could plant the kiss. I was scared, but I don't know why. He was remembering a terrible memory. One in which no one had cared about until now. Of course this wasn't true.

He caressed my face and gently said my name. We stood up and he backed my up against one of the walls in his tiny home.

"What is it?" he asked gently, tilting his head so I'd meet his eyes again. I didn't and he knew the answer.

I looked at the floor and held on to the upper part of the arm that was holding my face. A tear ran down my cheek. He caught it, just as I had for him moments ago, and asked again with hurt in his voice.

I tried to break free and, surprisingly, he let me go. I walked past him. Get him away from you. He turned to me. I sank to my small blanket on the floor and held my face. He was right there next to me, kneeling. He lifted my face with his hand and I had to look at him. He's only doing this because he needs some love. He just relived his father's death. He doesn't know what he's doing. He doesn't know what he's feeling.

"What is it?" he whispered with the most despaired voice I had heard from him. And the look on his face was worse even then the one I'd just seen with the remembrance of the passing of Abrum.

There is nothing I hate more then when I ruin relationships because of the way I feel about myself. I didn't want to lose him, but I couldn't see that I had him. He was sitting here. A moment ago he tried to kiss me. But still, I couldn't see how someone would want me. He was lonely and even though he hadn't had his father (or his mother) for years, he was suffering from loss. I was positive.

I took a deep breath, trying to find strength. "What if," I began, but I fell again into sobs. He touched my back, but I pulled away and looked up at him.

"What if this isn't real, Heath? What if we are only trying to fill our loneliness for the time being and this isn't real? We've been alone in this place for so long. What if we're just desperate? I mean, you…you haven't had a father for the majority of you life. Or a mother for that matter. You're going into shock or loss. And if this isn't real, one of us," I was talking about me, "if not both of us, will get hurt in the end. I think we've just made these feelings up so we can feel needed. I think we were just bored, and now we don't even know, Heath," I didn't tell him about my self-esteem issues, but he knew about them. I struggled to breathe. And so did he.

"You… you don't believe me?" he seemed heartbroken. "You think this is about my mother? This has nothing to do with Mia Glen Teline. I die because of what she did and how she must of felt. She obviously wasn't the same ever again, but this- you and me- is strictly that. You and me," he paused. "You don't think I feel this way?" he looked down. "Do you not feel for me? Because…"- he looked back into my eyes- "I love you, Erin."

It was amazing to hear him say those words, words I'd longed to hear from anyone. But still I wasn't sure if I should believe them. All these feelings left me embarrassed, ashamed, confused, and scared. But I believed… and I felt.

"Of course I have feelings for you…"

"Then why are you crying?" He touched me again and I didn't pull away, I leaned in.


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(do i write good love scenes or not so much: S idk... you tell me!)