hahaha sorry it took so flipping long! i love you guys though and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! only an epilogue after this people...

WATCH ME BLEED

keep it real

"C"-T-(R)

Baileyzzzzzzzz


Chapter 11

"Y'know why I hid?" he asked me tilting his head. "Other than to stay away from her, of course. But I hid because I thought that… maybe if I stopped talking to people about what happened… and maybe if I stopped seeing people and stopped thinking about what happened, maybe they'd forget about me," he paused. "And maybe, after suck a long time of not thinking about…" he paused again and looked down, ashamed and heart broken. "Maybe I'd forget about myself…"

"Heath," I said, throwing my arms around him. I pulled away and took his face in my hands. I looked deep into him brilliant green eyes, searching deep into his soul. "I know you still blame yourself. And you need to know that it wasn't your fault."

He looked at me for a long time while saying nothing.

"I know you're thinking that you shouldn't have killed her. That you should have left her and that you should have maybe even killed yourself. But that's not true Heath. That's not true at all." I put my face even closer to his, now demanding he listen to me. "Your father, Abrum Teline, died because he loved you that much. He did it to save you, and he never wanted you to fell bad. Or regret leaving that day to play in the forest. Or any of that. Your father loves you and wanted you to live on, to be the most you could be.

"Y'know, you're probably snickering on the inside," he smiled at that, "but I'm serious. And that part is true. That your father loves you is true. You didn't do anything to anyone. You didn't make your mother do the terrible things she did and you didn't kill your father."

He reached up and held onto my arm. I didn't take it from his face though. He smoothed circles on it with is thumb.

"Just remember that ok, Heath. For me. For you dad. And for yourself." I then took my hands from his face and looked down at his hands. I grabbed one and squeezed it. "Be free, Heath. You are free."

We woke up the next day and he seemed better than the night before. He kissed below my jaw, on my neck, and said he had some errands to take care of. He left the shack and I was left in the silence of my own thoughts.

I'd be going home today. I knew it. But before I left there were a few things I'd have to do.

I crawled over to Heath's school bag that lay in the corner. I pulled out a pen and a piece of notebook paper. I'd leave Sundevil a message. I'd leave it by the big oak tree in the large valley. She'd find it someday.

I began writing.

Dear Sundevil,

The time as come to say goodbye I guess. I know that you and I didn't talk much or see each other that many times but whenever we did it felt good. You've helped me Sundevil. More than I think you know. You are like a sister to me even and I will never forget you or this place. How could I?

I love you Sundevil and hope you don't forget me.

Love Always,

Erin White

It was short, very short, but all true. Maybe even a bit sappy.

I entered the woods and got back to the house as fast as I could. Once again I was left to my own thoughts. I felt like I'd grown so much. I'd helped and reached out to someone who needed me. I'd hurt someone. I'd healed someone. I'd been hurt. I'd been healed.

I'd fallen in love for goodness sake.

But still there was one thing I needed to do before I left…

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Heath returned soon and he seems stressed and melancholy.

"What is it, Heath?" I asked him, kissing his jaw.

He looked down at me and smiled, putting his hand under my chin and tilting my head to his even more. He kissed me nose and sighed.

"I suppose you need to go home soon…" He said this in a shaky tone.

I just looked down and nodded.

He let go of my face and took my hand. He looked out the window and took a deep breath. He began to walk out the door, pulling me along.

We walked for most of the time in silence, my arms wrapped around his waist and his arm around my shoulder. I'd feel the tears weld up ever so often but I'd always blink them back.

We reached a tree that looked sadly familiar. Heath stopped walking and held me tighter.

"This is how you leave and enter," he spoke quietly, looking at the tree. "You need to climb it and fall asleep for it to work correctly."

I suddenly let go of him and turned around. I burst into tears and covered my face. I then felt cold hands pulling my hands from my face.

He cupped my tear-streaked face and I noticed he had tears in his eyes as well.

"I'll come and find you, Erin, I promise," he whispered passionately. "We'll be together and it will be wonderful."

A new set of tears rolled on by because that couldn't be. It couldn't happen like that.

I grabbed his hand from my face and held it between my two. He looked at me curiously. A ghost of a smile touched my face through my pain as I stared at our hands. I dreamed of things as they could be, and then as they should be. The smile disappeared. I knew what I had to say.

"Heath." I closed my eyes, releasing tears and finding strength. I continued, now looking in his eyes. I breathed, "I love you, Heath."

"I love you, too." He knew something was happening; I could see the fear in his face. "More than anything, ever."

"But, I can't be with you," I whispered. "We… we weren't meant for each other. Love and life could work between us, yes. We could be happy and things could be wonderful. But we'd be leaving someone out." I looked back at our hands. I was having trouble breathing, and so was he.

"Someone who needs you more than do, now," I mumbled.

He stood unmoving, locked in silence.

"Erin… but I thought….why?" It killed me to see him so distraught. It was almost more than I could take. Whenever his walls came down I'd lose it or love it. To see him like this, such raw pain, was…. unbearable.

"We were there for each other, Heath. We fought, we loved. You were always with me-"

"And you with me," he cut in.

"Now, you need to be there for someone else." I let go of his hand and tried to calm myself. I took a deep breath and swallowed. I looked into his beautiful face once more.

"Now, you go." My words shook slightly as I said this. I smiled up at him. It was a hurt smile, a pained smile, but above all else, a loving smile. "And you love Sundevil, just as you've loved me. And be kind to her and listen to her. It will be alright."

"I know you too well, Erin," he whispered, shaking his head. He stroked my cheek and looked thoughtfully in my eyes. "When you're truly in pain, you smile, so that you won't have to hurt someone else."

I cried deeply now, in his strong, large chest. He slid his arms around me and I felt his breath come harder and uneven. He told me he loved me once more and I cried it back.

"You were the only person who ever really knew me," he whispered in my ear. I felt the same way about him. I held on to his body even tighter.

I thought again of how things could be. What it would be like if I were to stay. I thought of our days together, Heath and I. I wanted to be with him more than anything. And as I thought to take back the words I had spoken, I saw Sunde's face- torn, hurt, and then full of admiration whenever she looked at him. I couldn't do that to her, I just couldn't.

I rested my cheek on his chest and looked at the sky and the world to my right, Heath's world. Heath bent his head, searching for something. I touched his face and his eyes burned into mine. I kissed him with all the feeling I had. All the dreams he'd giving me, all the hours we'd talked trying to heal the other, all the love I had for him now. He kissed me back in hopes, maybe, to change my mind. Or maybe to touch me one more time and store it to memory.

Goodness knows that's what I was doing. It could be possible that I would never see him again. I could never forget him. I would never forget him.

Somehow I had the strength to pull back, to let him go. He held my hand with both of his as I turned and our hands pulled apart. I heard his shaky cry and my heart burned for him, but I couldn't look back. I wouldn't be able to leave if I looked at him now.

I began to climb the tree. I decided I did need to look at him, one last time. I turned and said good-bye. He smiled up at me, and I down at him. He made a pleading face and when I didn't respond he nodded once and bowed his head. I saw the drops of water hit the ground and his back shook. My heart rate picked up and my chin quivered. Though, I found strength and I went back to climbing.

I eventually heard his footsteps fade away. I slept in the tree, just like he told me to, but also for old time's sake. I had a dream, and I think I thought it up, but I could never be sure…..

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I climbed down the tree and I recognized the forest, and yet I didn't. It had been months on his side of the world, but I knew a moment hadn't pasted on mine.

I took a deep breath, but let the one tear fall. The bittersweet feeling swept over me and threatened to take me down but then I thought of her. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. That sounded like something she would say, right? I thought of him, smiled, and laughed.

I looked down the old dirt road and heading home, counting the stars all the way.

(A/N ok so yeah… just be thankful because originally it was going to END here! But since I love you guys… and I love to write I'm going to keep going lol so here is the rest of this chapter, and then there will be an epilogue)

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It'd been 6 years since that night in the forest. 6 years and time had passed so slowly by without him. But I never regretted what I did for them.

I wear that beautiful stone and silver ring everyday of my life. People ask what stone it is and I never know what to say, just that I got it a beautiful store I would never forget.

I fell in and out of relationships. I'd loved other guys, but none could every compare with Heath.

I'm now 24 and living on my own. I'm going to school at a university to become a writer. I'm going to write fantasy.

I thought for sure I would never see him again.

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It was late, 9:00 and the sun had already gone down. I was doing some schoolwork that was due the next day when a knock came at my dorm door.

"Hi….." but my voice caught in my throat. There he was, in my doorway. I couldn't believe it.

He threw his arms around me and I returned his brotherly hug. "Erin," he muttered softly into my hair.

"How are you!" I asked him excitedly after we pulled apart. I lead him into the little room that was my dorm and motioned for him to sit on the chair at my desk. I folded onto the floor. He'd changed, but not much. He just looked a little older, the same age as me, even though he wasn't even close. His hair was as long and as golden as ever, his eyes the same piercingly striking emerald.

I noticed a ring on his left hand and that so much joy to my heart. He also had a ring on a chain around his neck and that scared me slightly.

"I'm fine," he stated smiling gently. "Sundevil and I were married three weeks after you left." His hand shot up to the ring at his throat and his smile broadened.

"Wow, how wonderful!" I smiled hugely, "How is she?"

"Yeah, yeah! She's fine also," he nodded.

"How are things over there? The war and stuff? Tell me how that's going," I asked him clasping my hands together.

He looked passed my head for a long moment, a smile gradually forming on his perfect lips.

"After we were married the people let me live with them. And then eventually fight along side them. We were getting so close and all that was left was a counsel with the elves. I acted as a voice for the shadows and there is freedom now," he smiled down at me. "Unity will form soon. I know it's already started to form."

I smiled up at him. "Well that is just great."

His hand flew up the ring again and his glorious face went somber. "But war and freedom doesn't come without its casualties."

I gasped. It all hit me now.

His eyes were glassy when they met mine. He nodded. "She died, Erin. She died last year in mid May."

My hands and chin were shaky and noiseless tears streamed down my face. I thought of how amazing she was. And during these long 6 years how much I had missed her friendship, wisdom, and love. I could see her in my mind's eye, that very first time I met her. Her beauty so magnificent. With her long black and blue hair flowing down her back in the most beautiful way. Her blue eyes gracious and engaging.

I'd been looking away from him, when I noticed he had knelt in front of me. He wiped away the tears from my cheeks in a not so brotherly way. I looked into his eyes and they were gentle and sad, but hopeful nonetheless.

"She said to me when she left the same thing you said. She said everything would be alright and that you and I would be happy together just as she and I had been." He sat down in front of me on the floor and looked down at the carpet. "I loved her so much, Erin. She's someone I never even thought about until you told me. I loved you, and you helped me to love her. And she needed me… and loved me back. And when we were married…" he whispered shaking his head and smiling sensitively. "I was over the moon."

He took my hand and looked me in the eye. "She said she knew we would never forget about her. Or love her any less." He smiled tenderly, yet genuinely. Then he pleaded softly, "I need you, Erin, I don't have anyone else. It will take time; I still miss her so much." I was nodding as he said all this. "But I need you again, Erin. I need this to work again."

"I loved her, too. And I'm willing to wait. And work," I told him.

"Will you come with me tomorrow?" he asked.

"Where?" I asked him back.

"To my world."

I thought for a long moment. I'm at school. I'm working. I have a family. Things I have left to do. But then I thought of how much he needed me. I thought of Sundevil dying and still remembering me in her last breaths. I thought about how much I still needed him…

"Yes, I will go with you," I promised him, smiling timidly.

He smiled in return and kissed my temple. He pressed his forehead where he had kissed and held it there. He gently wrapped his arms around me and whispered so quietly I had the strain to hear, "Thank you."

"Of course," I breathed back just as gently leaning into his embrace.

He pulled away after a while, "Do you need to sleep?"

"Um…. Yeah probably," I said, nodding a bit. He swept me up into his arms and laid me on my bed. I laughed once and got under the messy covers. He lay down on the floor next to the bed and faced away from me.

"Good night, Heath," I muttered leaning off the bed a little.

He turned over and looked at me with a wistful expression. Night probably reminded him of her. "Sleep well," he smiled back.

I rolled over and faced the wall. I was a sleep in no time.

I had a dream that night.

We were young again. We stood at the tree that divides his world from mine. We were smiling and laughing. His arms were wound around my waist and mine lying limply on his strong chest. I rest my head on his shoulder and nestled my forehead into the cold skin of his neck. He tightened his hold on me making me feel so incredibly safe. I lifted my head and looked into his face. I smiled up at him and he down at me. Then his eyes looked horrified he let go of me and stepped back a few paces. "Erin, I… I'm so sorry," he repeated a few times. I felt a dull pain in the side of my neck……


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