(( ANOTHER CHAPTER! YAYISHNESS! Ok, I hope I'm not the only one thats excited about it. Anyways, you'll laugh guaranteed, or your money back! PLEASE review! I have had to retype the entrie thing back out (the stupid computer lost the story) so I need encouragement to keep it up! Okay, to sum up what's going on: Yugi, Yami, Valon and Mai were all reading fan fics about themselves when who should appear, but the dreaded TEA! Please continue...))
"No, I like this one!" Said Tea.
"Go to bed Tea!" Said Pharaoh, pointing to the door that led to the staircase.
"No!" Said Tea, stubbornly. She plopped onto the floor and began to suck her thumb.
"Its past your bedtime-" He argued.
"I don't wanna!"
"You dare to contradict the powerful pharaoh?" He stood up so as to show her how powerful he was. However, he was still only four feet tall and it only diminished from the overall effect.
"You're a meanie!" exclaimed Tea.
"Yugi!" He whined, but saw that the men in black had just led his hikari into the other room again. There were more memory altering noise and Yugi stepped out again looking dazed and confused. "That was weird," Said Yugi, sounding drugged. Pharaoh looked outraged.
"Yugi, did you get into my stash again?"
"Just shut up!" Mai yelled, "We haven't been able to finish a single story thanks to you two!"
"Don't tell them that!" Said Tea, "Ask them politely with a please!"
Mai ground her teeth and seethed, "Will you two PLEASE stop bickering and sit your asses on the god damned couch!"
Tea was confused, but both Yugi and Pharaoh sat down obediently.
"I shall read it!" Pharaoh snapped before Tea started. "Ahem!" He cleared his throat all powerful like.
"You have the prettiest eyes," Valon remarked despite his usually cold disposition,"
Mai rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything.
Tea was speechless, but why? Get a hold of yourself, Tea, she told herself, You've only been with him for two minutes. But he was so dashing with that drawling voice of his and those goggles that accented his brown hair.
"Give Valon a moment," Mai sighed, "His head isn't growing fast enough to accommodate all of this,"
"Hey!" Valon said, "I know its hard not to be jealous of this," He gestured to his hair, "But don't take it out on me! I can't help it that the ladies adore me!" He winked at Tea who waved at him, held out her hand and said "Hi! I'm Tea, who are you?"
"Short memory span," Pharaoh explained quickly, "Just ignore it,"
"Uh," Tea blushed, "Thank you, I'm actually here to turn evil,"
Valon gave her an understanding look. "Welcome to the light," He said, "We understand you here,"
"Ha!" Said Valon in a gloating manner, "The ol' -I understand what you've been through!' Gets them every time!"
"Valon led Tea up to the highest floor of the building where Dartz's lair could be found. It was a very long climb and when Tea got tired Valon offered to hold her hand."
"How would that help?" Yugi asked.
"Dunno," Valon admitted, "Maybe it explains,"
"Tea took his hand tentatively, he leaned over and kissed it. Wow! She thought, A real gentleman!"
"Why don't you ever kiss my hand?" Tea asked Pharaoh. He made a face.
"Are you suggesting that the Pharaoh pollute his godly lips on your Tea hands after they've been helping you up twenty or more flights of stairs? That is absolutely repulsive! Now either let me read or go to BED!"
Tea sat firmly where she was but closed her mouth.
"Elated, Tea now felt that she could conquer any set of stairs, big and tall! She felt like she could fly if she tried. Is this love? She asked herself. Valon was blushing, had he actually kissed the girl's hand? Had he actually told her that she had the most beautiful eyes?
"I do things like that all the time!" Valon muttered, "-And I don't blush until they giggle!"
"Tea nervously brushed her hair behind her ears and giggled."
Everybody turned to Valon to find him blushing a very deep shade of red. "Gets me every time," He shrugged sheepishly.
"Wait! Tea told herself, Don't go falling for this guy! You made a promise to yourself, you'd never love again. I can't! Not after Pharaoh cheated on me with my best friend...Yugi Motou!"
"Well that was interesting!" Pharaoh said while he quickly closed the lap top, "Say, you all look very tired, lets just go to bed."
"I want to know who keeps writing this crap!" Yugi exclaimed. Everybody paused as they realized that Yugi had just said his very first swear word.
"Lets go to the writer's look up," Said Valon, snatching the computer away from Pharaoh before he could get a good hold on it.
"Wait! No!" Pharaoh argued, weakly trying to pull the computer away from Valon, but it was too late.
"Damn Pegasus's high speed internet!" Pharaoh muttered.
"Hmmm," Said Valon, "The writer's username is thealmighy1- Whoa! Look at all of the romance stories he's written! Theres close to a hundred! And they all include Pharaoh and Yugi...interesting.
"Yes, yes! Very interesting," Said Pharaoh hurriedly, "Lets look at something else!"
"Now what conceited person would call themselves thealmighty1?" Valon continued.
"I don't know and I don't ca-" Yugi began, but Pharaoh interrupted him by yelling:
"CONCEITED? Well what if he actually IS ALMIGHTY?"
"Well then," Valon said smugly, uploading his gossip site, "He'd be directly insulting you...unless..."
"Unless what?" Pharaoh growled, just daring him to say it.
"Unless-"
"Lets go to bed," Said Yugi, suddenly uninterested.
"I concur," Said Pharaoh.
"What is the geek squad up to this time?" Every one jumped at the voice of Seto Kaiba. There was a silence and then an annoying computer voice said "Mr. Seto Kaiba Confirmed."
"Shut it!" Said Valon, pounding the computer hard and denting it slightly. He was obviously the only one who remained unfazed by Kaiba's presence, and more obviously, the shallowest of everyone in the room
(Well, he did just dent Kaiba's computer.)
"My computer!" Kaiba suddendarily said.
"Suddendarily?" Asked Pharaoh, "What the hell does that mean?"
"Maybe its a foreign word meaning soup!" Tea suggested. Everyone shrugged, even Kaiba, and then everybody got themselves big bowls of ice cream and watched bad late night comedy before Valon decided to find more fan fics.
"What the #$! is this?" Asked Kaiba.
"Mr. Seto Kaiba, confirmed," Said the computer.
"Shut the hell up!" Said Kaiba.
"Mr. Seto Kaiba confirmed," Said the computer.
"Oops," Valon said in mock apology, "I keep on typing in your password,"
"Mr. Seto Kaiba confirmed. Mr. Seto Kaiba confirmed, Mr-"
"How'd you get my password, loser?" Kaiba asked, tearing the computer away from Valon.
"Easy now!" Valon argued, "It was a...a lucky guess, that's it. I've forgotten it already! Just give it back-"
"What's this?" Asked Kaiba coldly. He had looked at the screen and found... "Fan fiction?" He asked, "Never heard of it,"
"Phew," Valon sighed in relief. He'd been afraid that Kaiba would find the gossip site.
"These are all about me," Kaiba continued.
"Hang on!" Pharaoh interrupted, "There must be some about us! We're the main characters after all! You're just the villainous, corruptible super Kaiba!"
"-And these nerds like me better," Kaiba gloated, "-and Ryou, but they definitely like me best!"
"That's not true!" Tea argued, "Because we're Yugi's friends! We're always there for him! And who do YOU have at the end of the day Seto Kaiba? huh? HUH? WHO?"
"Geeze Tea," Yugi said, "That's a little harsh, isn't it?"
"Lets try millions of fans," Kaiba said in answer to Tea's extremely dumb question, "- and, just a thought here- but they all seem to hate you, Tea."
Tea's eyes watered while she tried to pretend that she didn't care. "Well," She said in an unusually high pitched voice, "That's alright..." Her voice trembled, "Because I have my friends," Pharaoh, Yugi, Mai, Valon and Kaiba all took a step away.
"Oh great," Pharaoh sighed, "Here come the water works,"
"Yami!" Yugi scolded, "You're supposed to be her friend!"
"Hey! I don't see you trying to comfort her!" Yami retorted.
""Somebody has to!" Broke in Mai, "She'll flood the entire house!"
"I know!" Said Valon, "We'll draw straws!" He wasn't nearly so enthused about the idea when he drew the short one.
"THEY HATE ME!" Tea cried as Valon tentatively patted her shoulder.
"There there," He said, "Feel better now? Good!" He backed away to join the others, "Glad we got that sorted out," He said over the noise of Tea who was now wailing.
"Idiot," Kaiba muttered, taking out a wad of cash, "This always cheers up Mokuba," He handed Tea the huge sum of money but she only used it for a handkerchief.
"Oh no!" Mai exclaimed, "The water levels rising to our ankles!"
"Yes!" Said Pharaoh, "Perhaps we can use Tea as a raft and float to safety!"
"Thats mean!" Said Yugi, "I'm sure all she wants is a hug."
"Yugi," Pharaoh Atem snapped, "If you've got any ideas nows the time to use them, you're already waist deep!"
"Alright," Yugi sighed, he heroically stepped up to hug Tea- but she pushed him away...
"I HATE FRIENDS!" She yelled, "They're really lousy! But do you know what's NOT lousy? FANS!"
"There must be SOME Tea fans," Yugi said before the water went over his head and all that remained dry was his slowly sinking hair.
Pharaoh plucked Yugi out of the water and set him safely on the couch, "That's it!" He said, "No one tries to drown my hikari! Tea! I challenge you to a duel!"
Tea gulped, "Alright Pharaoh! I'm not afraid of you! Lets duel!"
Great, thought Pharaoh ,this should be easy, Tea is a wimp!
Tea: I play the seal of oricalkose!
Pharaoh Atem: ...crap..
"No!" Yelled Yugi, subsequently ending the script format for no apparent reason, "Dueling isn't the answer to everything, Pharaoh! We should solve this as friends!"
"But she doesn't want friends!" Pharaoh argued, "She wants fans, and fat chance I'm going to become a Tea Fan!"
"Did you just call me fat?" Tea whimpered.
It was at this extremely inopportune moment that Pharaoh felt the sudden urge to say "Yes.."...and say it he did. Tea was pissed...really pissed...and the readers were annoyed because I wouldn't stop with the dots... ... .
"Wow," Kaiba said, "And I thought that Alistair was dumb.."
"Wait!" Shouted Pharaoh as he ran about, trying to escape the wrath of Tea, "Can't we settle this with a Duel?"
"A DUEL?" Tea shouted, outraged with a vase in one hand that she was ready to use on the frightened Yami, "Can dueling send you to the emergency room? Huh? CAN IT?"
"Sometimes-" Pharaoh started.
"I DON'T THINK SO!" She said, "And I won't be satisfied until you become a TEA FAN!"
"I...I..." Stammered Pharaoh, as Tea Patiently waited for his reply, "I can't,"
"THEN YOU DIE! BWAHAHAHAHA!"
"Just say you're her fan!" Said Yugi, "You don't have to mean it, just say it."
"I'm sorry..." Said the Yami, "But I can't..."
"SAY IT!" Yugi commanded.
"I'm...I'm a...a...a Tea Fan," To everyone's relief Tea stopped crying, Pharaoh however, fell to his knees and began to sob.
"Oh great," Said Kaiba, "Not this again,"
"I think all you need is a hug!" Tea said cheerfully (Short memory span).
Pharaoh was so used to the hugging by now that he just gave up and let Tea give him the Tea hug. Sensing Mikey hugs, Alistair woke up and came to join the hug as well.
"Yay!" Tea yelled, "Its a group hug! Lets all give this funny Pharaoh a hug!"
"Haha, Did you here that Mikey?" Alistair laughed, "She called you a Pharaoh!"
"I am a- oh never mind," Yugi's Yami shuddered. Oh no! Yugi thought, My Yami's given up! With all the power of the millennium puzzle I - What did he want to use the power for? With all the power of the millennium puzzle I give pharaoh hope!
"Yugi! Stop playing with the millennium puzzle, its not a toy!" Pharaoh said, throwing the hugging Tea and Alistair off of him.
"It worked!" Yugi exclaimed happily, "Gee, I wonder what else it can do? With all the power of the Millennium puzzle I want a shoe lace!"
"A shoe lace?" Pharaoh asked confused, "Why on earth are you wasting these godly powers on a shoe lace?"
"I just wanted one," Yugi shrugged and held up the millennium puzzle again, "With all the power of the millennium puzzle I-"
"Yugi!" Pharaoh snatched at the chain around Yugi's neck and tried to pry the puzzle off of his hikari.
"This is lame," Kaiba muttered, "Lets find more fan fiction,"
"Fan fiction? Oh goody!" Cried Alistair, "Mikey, lets hear a story!" He approached Yugi and Pharaoh and looked at each with a critical eye before dragging Yugi with him to sit on the couch. "Phew," Pharaoh sighed in relief.
"Alright," Said Kaiba, once everyone was floating safely on the coffee table, "This one is titled I'm sorry but I lost him...
Pharaoh's eye's opened slowly and the blurred figures of Duke, Tristan and Joey were over him. "Whoa! He's alright!" Joey exclaimed, "How'd you do it, Yug? How'd you outsmart the seal of Oricalkose?"
"Yeah Dude!" Said Tristan, "How'd you do it, and why are you looking so much taller and why are there tears in your eyes?"
"Yeah," Joey said, just noticing this himself, "Is everything alright?"
"Things are far from alright, Joey," Pharaoh interrupted Kaiba. Seto shot him a glare.
"What?" Asked Pharaoh, "Thats what I said!"
"I'm the one reading this, dork!" Kaiba said.
"Yeah, but you keep on giving me a girlie voice!" Pharaoh insisted, "And I'm pretty sure that you're doing it on purpose!"
Kaiba ignored this and continued reading.
"I lost that duel," Pharaoh continued, his voice trembling, "-and I didn't outsmart the seal!" Joey, Tristan and Duke all exchanged confused glances, "But how can you be standing right in front of us if the seal got your soul?" Joey asked.
"Not mine!" Pharaoh paused dramatically and yelled, "YUGI'S!" He stumbled to the ground and started pounding it, "It should have been me! Not him! Its not fair!"
"What?" Pharaoh exclaimed, again interrupting Seto, "I never said that!"
"Its fan fiction," Kaiba said, obviously struggling with the stupidity, "It doesn't have to be like what really happened!"
"Well lets re-write it!" Valon put in, "Because I've never heard what really happened!"
Kaiba sighed while Pharaoh corrected it and then, when the Yami was done, he read it again.
"How can you be standing in front of us if the Seal got your soul?" Asked Joey.
"Not mine!" Pharaoh said, "Yugi's! Now who else is hungry? I haven't eaten anything for weeks and its about time I treated myself to a leaf of lettuce!"
"YAY!" Tristan exclaimed, "Now we don't have to hang around little Yugi! Lets go and be popular!"
And so Tristan, Duke and Joey hopped into a car and, for some odd reason, Pharaoh rode a horse, and they all went back to the RV where Rebecca, the only person who liked Yugi (besides Tea) attacked Pharaoh and exclaimed "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM NOW? Where's my Yugi? Why doesn't he ever come back with you guys?"
"I'm sorry, Rebecca," Said Pharaoh, "I lost him."
THE END"
"That's the end?" Asked Kaiba skeptically, he turned to Yugi, "Doesn't it bother you that hardly any one likes you?"
"What?" Asked Yugi, "Who doesn't like me?"
Kaiba's fingers were again at his temples, "I can't take you dorks, I'd go to bed but I can't leave Valon with my computer with out an adult,"
"I'm plenty of an adult!" Valon lied, "You're computer will be perfectly safe with me!" He took the computer away from Kaiba but it slipped out of his grasp and into the Water.
"THATS IT!" Kaiba yelled, "You'll die for that! PUNK!"
"Yugi, avert your eyes," Pharaoh instructed, but Alistair had already covered them for him. Kaiba wasn't going to bother dueling this time, he was angry, he was strangling Valon when Mokuba came into the room.
"Nii Sama!" Mokuba gasped, "What are you doing?"
"Wait!" Yugi shouted, "Mokuba gets to watch?"
Kaiba immediately dropped Valon into the water, "Uh, Mokuba!" He said, losing his cool for a moment, "We were just uh..."
"Reading," Said Pharaoh, and winked at Kaiba, "I know," He told the flustered CEO, "I'm smooth,"
"Whats with all of this water? Why is Valon blue? Why aren't you wearing your water proof coat?" Mokuba asked, his eyes wide. Kaiba looked at his coat.
"DAMN!" He exclaimed, "Tea! This is your fault!"
"Wait!" Tea said, "I know how to fix it!" She ran up to Kaiba and gave him a hug, "There!" She said, smiling while Kaiba tried to smooth out his coat, "Its all better!"
"You better have a lawyer," Kaiba growled.
"Oh Seto!" Laughed Mokuba, "I thought that you loved hugs!" He ran to his brother and gave him a tight hug. Kaiba blushed.
"I never said I liked hugs," He muttered, and began to wade out of the room with his brother still clinging to him, "Come on Mokuba, its way past your bed time..."
Mai stamped her foot impatiently, "If no one else is going to read then I will!"
"But the computers destroyed," Pointed out Yugi, "And we certainly can't fix it!"
"Oh come on!" Said Valon, getting to his feet, "Surely you're more creative then that! We're at Pegasus's place! The guy must own hundreds of computers!"
"You're right," Said the Pharaoh, "Lets go hunt some down...only we probably shouldn't let Yugi, Tea or Alistair come."
((Yeah, I know it ends a little abrubtly here, but please PLEASE keep in mind how long it takes to retype chapters... and review as well. A TON of work went into this (cough cough) so i expect at least ONE review!))
