((Last time on Yu-gi-oh! Mai, Valon, Pharaoh, Yugi, Kaiba, Alistair, Mikey as well as a few men in black come across a mysterious product of Anime nerdishness known as fan-fiction! Whats more is that it's Yu-Gi-Oh fan fiction! Although this should have left them with many questions such as 'why do so many people know about us and like to parody our life?' or 'whats up with a section titled Yu-gi-oh GX?' it didn't. Instead Valon ruined Kaiba's computer, Tea ruined Kaiba's coat and all in all the entire nerd herd ruined Kaiba's life. Tea hated friends but forgot she hated them and now Pharaoh, Mai and Valon are planning on embarking on a quest for another computer so that they might find some more fan fiction. Will they find the computers? Will they succeed in making Yugi go to bed? Will the writers acheive even more stupendous ammounts of classic parody junk plots? FIND OUT NOW! In this chapter of A Yu-Gi-Oh parody! ...we do not own yu-gi-oh, the three headed dog, the yellowbrick road( or anything else Wizard of oz realated) or pegasus's wardrobe...but the pancakes are all us! Hell yeah!))
"Oh come on!" Said Valon, getting to his feet, "Surely you're more creative then that! We're at Pegasus's place! The guy must own hundreds of computers!"
"You are right Valon," Said the Pharaoh, "Lets go hunt some down... only we probably shouldn't let Yugi, Tea or Alistair come."
"What?" exclaimed Yugi.
"You're right," Said Mai, "They only slow us down, besides, I've been wanting to read a few fics that are rated PG-13,"
"I'm 16!" Protested Yugi.
"Go to bed Yugi," Said Pharaoh, before stepping out of the room. He was followed by Mai and Valon, who both gave Yugi loser signs before leaving.
"Yay! Bed time!" Squealed Tea.
"Screw You!" Said Yugi, and ran out of the room to find the others.
Yami, Mai and Valon were wandering down the many corridors that made up the pegasus palace.
"Lets try this one!" Said Mai, pointing to the first door they found and entering through it. Before Valon and Pharaoh could follow Mai came running back out. "Don't go in there!" She said hurriedly, "Thats the cartoon bunny bathroom!"
"Well, then maybe we should try that one," Said Valon, pointing to the next door.
"No!" Said Pharaoh, "That room is labeled 'Pegasus's Wardrobe'!" The others shuddered.
"Maybe we should split up and meet back here in 15 minutes," Said Mai brightly. This, of course, could only lead to trouble, for as we all know, people die when groups break up. Just watch any horror movie. Despite this well known fact they all thought that the idea was just spiffy and did it any how.
"Pharaoh?" Yugi's voice echoed down the dark and lonely hallway, "Mai? Valon?" No answer. Where were they? "You guys! This isn't funny!" He said, "I'm old enough to read PG-13! I'm not afraid of anything!" But he gulped as, again, there came no reply... then he heard a whisper. ?"G...g..guys?" He asked again, "I...I know that you're just hiding!" But he didn't know, not really.
However, they were hiding. As soon as they had heard his voice they had huddled back together and into an unlabeled room (wow!). Mai and Pharaoh had their ears pressed to the door. Mai had just whispered "Valon! Stop tugging at my arm." And Pharoah had just shushed her. Valon didn't stop, however. He only pulled harder. At last, when Pharaoh and Mai had determined that Yugi had left, Mai spun around and snapped "What is it Valon?"
Valon was very pale as he pointed to the giant three headed dog that was snarling at them.
"Crap!" Mai exclaimed.
"How didn't we notice this?" Asked the Pharaoh. And then they all screamed and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind them. They stopped screaming but kept on running until they were completely lost. Valon fell against the wall, gasping for breath, "What was that?" He asked weakly.
"I don't know," Pharaoh admitted, "But what is Pegasus doing keeping it in his home?"
"You aren't very observant, are you?" Asked Mai, rolling her eyes. Pharaoh and Valon both gave her confused looks. She sighed, "Didn't you see what it was standing on?"
"I was busy looking at it's heads, not it's feet!" Said Valon, "Or didn't you notice? It had THREE!"
"What was it standing on?" Asked Pharaoh in a very serious tone.
"A trap door with big neon letters saying 'Pegasus's special computer room, down here!'." Mai said.
Pharaoh nodded, "Its settled then," He said, "We're going down, tonight."
All three of them paused, "Wow, some part of that sounded really retarded," Pharaoh remarked, "But I can't put my finger on it so lets go!" They shook on it and, after much wandering and two flights from Yugi, re-entered it.
"Crap!" Said Mai, "Its awake."
"Yes," Said Pharaoh, "I think that we should duel it!"
"No!" Said Mai, "All we need to do is sing,"
"How do you know that?" Asked Valon.
Mai shrugged, "Read it in some book,"
Valon nodded and asked, "Does anybody know a song?"
"THE THEME SONG!" Pharaoh exclaimed, as if it should be obvious. So they all started to hum the Yu-Gi-Oh theme song hesitantly... 5 hours later...
"Crap!" Said Mai, "Its not working!"
"Maybe just a little...more," Suggested Valon sleepilly, he had stopped humming an hour ago but hadn't noticed. Only Pharaoh seemed to be going on strong.
"Yu-Gi-OH!" He shouted, and started all over again.
"Maybe it needs some sort of command," Mai said, trying not to look at the three heads that were glaring at them, one head for each person.
"Sleep Boy!" Pharaoh shouted. The dog ignored it and kept on growling.
"I know!" Valon yelled, "Its probably hungry! Lets go get Yugi and feed him to it!"
"Are you insane?" Pharaoh asked, "We can't leave now! Not after we've made so much progress!" He started humming again.
Mai looked at them both with shifty eyes, "I know what you're trying to do," She told Valon, "You're trying to get us to leave so that you'll have all of the computers to yourself when you get the dog to sleep!"
Valon's eyes squinted, "I wouldn't do that! You just want every one else to think that so that I'll get thrown out and you'll get the computers to YOUR SELF!"
"You're a liar!" Mai Shouted, "We all think so! Don't we guys?" She demanded. Pharaoh was still humming. "See?" Mai said, regardless of the fact that nobody had agreed with her, "Me and all of my friends think that you're trying to give us the slip!"
Valon growled, "Well me, Alistair and Raphael think that you're crazy! Don't we, guys?" He asked the thin air over his shoulder.
"GUYS?" Came Yugi's voice, the door opened and in came a midget -cough- I mean Yugi -cough- "Wow guys," He said, "Have you been here all night? I just wanted to tell you that breakfast is ready!" He chuckled, "You missed some really great fan fictions, once Kaiba came back with a new computer we found a Harry Potter Yu-gi-oh parody. It was ridiculous! Uh..." He glanced at his Yami who was waving his arms around like an orchestra conductor and still humming the theme song, "Whats he doing?"
"NOTHING!" Mai said, shoving Yugi out of the door and slamming it, "Now go away!"
"Ding dong the witch is dead, which old witch? THE WICKED WITCH!" Pharaoh exclaimed, "DING DONG! THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!" Then he slumped over onto the floor and snoring could be heard.
"Mai," Valon said, "Reckon we should give up?"
Mai looked doubtfully at the collapsed Pharaoh and nodded. She and Valon walked out of the room, "Gee Valon, it got a little crazy in ther-" She began, but Valon cut her off when he laughed maniacally, ran back into the room, slammed the door and yelled "SUCKER!"
-----
"Who wants a pancake?" Pegasus asked. He and Kaiba were in matching aprons and were setting the long table.
"Hey Kaiba!" Joey yawned, "Could you get me some OJ while you're up?"
Seto glowered and got the orange juice, setting it down next to Joey's plate he muttered "I'm only doing this because Pegasus has my brother again, so don't think that it won't have it's consequences, NERD!"
"Pulp!" Joey said, as if highly offended, "Go strain it out, Seto! You know that I don't like pulp!"
Kaiba ground his teeth and took the glass back.
"Wow, everyone looks cheerful!" Yugi said happilly as he re-entered the dining room, "I brought back Mai but the others...might need to sleep in..."
"Go get an apron midget!" Said Kaiba, "He's got your grandfather again,"
"Shit!" Yugi cursed. He felt a hand slap across his mouth.
"Bad Hikari!" Said Bakura.
"What? I'm not your hikari!" Yugi said indignantly.
"I'll be substituting for Pharaoh while he's-" Bakura laughed evilly, "Unable to watch you,"
"This is great!" Said Ryou, "Now we're like brothers!"
"But I don't need a yami!" Yugi insisted, "I'm old enough to fend for myself, besides, I need a break from the spirits!"
"Stop trying to wriggle free!" Bakura said, "Its the rules!"
"It is not!" Yugi said.
"It isn't?" Asked Ryou, "Well then, I'm glad that you'll do it anyhow!"
"But I-"
"You're the best friend that I've ever had!" Ryou continued happily.
"Get a room," Seto grumbled as he pushed past them. Ryou looked confused and Yugi took this chance to run and get his apron.
"I want a BLUEBERRY pancake!" Tea said proudly, as if this were an important announcement, "Shaped like a bunny!"
"I'll go inform Dukey-Boy and Tristan-Boy!" Pegasus said as he left to bring the orders to the kitchen. In the kitchen Tristan was cooking while Duke had been told to do tasks such as cleaning dishes, taking out the trash and mowing the lawn (A mini lawn- bonsai or something) that took up residence on one of the stove top burners.
"Blueberry pancakes, shaped like bunnys!" Pegasus announced just like Tea had. Tristan gave the thumbs up and Duke flipped him off. Once Pegasus had left Duke muttered, "Kaibas brother is captured...Yugi's grandpa is too...but why are WE doing this?"
"I volunteered us!" Tristan shrugged, "Why?" He hummed while he shaped the pancakes, "Ding dong the witch is dead.." He sang along.
"Because it sucks, thats why!" Duke said, "You get to be the chef and I have to do the manual labor!"
"Oh," Tristan said, "I didn't know you wanted to cook...in fact, I didn't even know that you could."
"Well I can't!" Duke admitted, "But thats not the point! The point is that you didn't even bother to ask!"
"Well it seemed pretty pointless to ask you to cook when I knew that you couldn't," Tristan reasoned.
"Oh I see," Duke said, tearing up, "Just cut me off why don't you? Dr. Phil says that people need to be able to communicate to keep up a healthy relationship."
"Well I think that we do communicate," Said Tristan, "-and just because we fight sometimes doesn't mean that I don't love you."
"Whoa," Said Duke, "Uh...dude...I meant friendship relationship..."
"Oh..." Tristan paled, "Uh...I meant friendship love..."
"Oh," Duke said, "...well...I'm just going to go and clean...over there..."
"Yeah..." Tristan said, "I'm just going to...you know...cook."
"Yeah," Said Duke, "Well...bye.."
"So long," Tristan said.
"ARE THEY READY YET?" Pegasus asked, poking his head in through the kitchen door.
"Are what ready?" Asked Tristan.
"The pancakes!" Pegasus said. Tristan looked down to see that they were burning.
"Uh yeah..." He said, "They're well...done, yeah, I'd say they're pretty done," He scratched his head as the fire alarm went off.
"Whats that?" Asked Pegasus, referring to the noise.
"Uh," Tristan said, "My cell phone..."
"Oh, well you better get that, it sounds urgent!" Pegasus smiled.
"Yeah," Said Tristan, looking blankly at the pancakes that had now caught on fire, "I'd say its pretty urgent,"
"Whats that smell Taylor?" Demanded Kaiba, entering the kitchen. He frowned when his saw Tristan still staring expressionlessly at the burnt food, "Oh give me a break!" Kaiba huffed, "Don't you even know how to make pancakes?"
Tristan said nothing as Kaiba pushed him aside.
"You should have flipped these ages ago! God! Theres no saving them now! Devlin! Get me the batter!"
Duke waked to the bowl of batter that sat on the counter and looked at it...blankly, "Well, I made it to the counter...now what?"
"For crying out loud! Yugi! GET IN HERE!"
"Tristan-boy! You'd you'd better answer that call soon! My guests are growing agitated!" Called Pegasus.
Yugi came running into the kitchen...with Ryou clinging to his ankle. "What is it Kaiba? What wrong- Oh my gosh! Those should have been flipped ages ago!"
"I know," Said Kaiba, scowling.
"Well theres no saving them now!"
"I get it already!" Shouted Tristan, "I screwed up with the pancakes! I'll make another batch, now can you guys just leave?"
"Oh no!" Said Kaiba, "You can't just ruin a perfectly good batch of pancakes and try ro replace them!"
"Yeah!' Agreed Yugi, "Tea wrote a whole friendship speech about them while she's been waiting."
"Devlin! Taylor! You're on dish duty! Yugi, come help me fix these pancakes!" Kaiba commanded.
"Er..." Said Duke uncertainly, avoiding Tristan's eyes.
"Um..." Began Tristan, "Well the thing is..."
"DO IT!" Shouted Kaiba.
"What about me?" Asked Ryou, "Can I help?"
"NO!" Said every one at the same time. Reluctantly Ryou left the kitchen...dragging Yugi's millennium puzzle with him.
Just then, Pharaoh came marching in singing "Follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yellow brick road!"
"Pharaoh!" Snapped Yugi, putting his hands on his hips, "You know that I don't approve of that song!"
"Theres no time for talking!" Said Kaiba urgently, "We don't want Tea to start crying again!"
Somebody answer that phone!" Pegasus shouted from somewhere in the dining room.
"Its an alarm you moron!" Came Dartz's voice, sounding more annoyed then ever.
"Well how would you know Dartzy-boy?"
"JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" Shouted Kaiba, "How can you expect me to concentrate when you're all shouting?" With that he punched out the fire alarm that was conveniently placed right over the stove and the noise died away.
"Whats going on?" Asked Raphael, stepping into the kitchen as well. He, like the others, was also wearing a frilly apron and gasped when he saw the ruined pancakes, "My god! Those should have been flipped ages ago!"
"I'm working on it!" Muttered Kaiba, "Yugi! Get me tan spray paint, orange juice and tape."
"Whats the tape for?" Asked Yugi.
"What do you think dork?" Said Kaiba, "I'm going to tape the broken ones back together:
"I will not fail you," Said Yugi and obediantly went to go fetch supplies.
"What can I do?" Asked Raphael.
"You," Kaiba said, "I have a special job for you!" He whispered something into Raphael's ear.
"Right away sir!" Said Raphael, and he left the kitchen.
"I wonder what that was about?" Tristan asked Duke.
"Well sometimes you're just clueless," Duke replied, scrubbing at the dishes obsessively.
"Whats that supposed to mean?" Tristan asked.
"You're always somewhere else, you never listen," Duke complained, "Its like I'm talking to a deaf person...or one that doesn't care!"
"I've been working really hard lately," Tristan snapped, "-and maybe I'd listen if I wasn't so tired from taking care of the kids all the time!"
"THE KIDS?" Duke shouted, "Is that your best excuse? Because I take care of the kids just as much as you do! Plus I do the manual labor!"
Kaiba was too concerned about the pancakes to notice the bickering 'friends'. But he did look up when Raphael re-entered the kitchen with Mokuba.
"Got him," Said Raphael, "He was trapped in the wardrobe,"
Mokuba looked traumatized, but nothing that a life time of therapy couldn't fix. "Good," Said Kaiba, "I'll fix these pancakes and then I'm outta here. Mokuba? Do you want a bunny one or one shaped like the blue eyes white dragon?" He sounded hopeful about the blue eyes. Mokuba just shuddered and muttered "Purple...so much purple..."
"I got the tape!" Yugi exclaimed as he burst into the kitchen, "I could only find gold spray paint and I think the orange juice has pulp,"
"Give me the tape, go find tan spray paint and strain the orange juice! Hurry people! We haven't got all day! These pancakes are depending on us!"
"Well maybe if you just got rid of the duel disk we could pay off some of the bills!" Duke shouted.
"Money! Its always about the money! Maybe someday you'll stop thinking about you're financial needs all the time and start thinking about Yugi! He hardly sees you now a days! What do you think that does to him?" Tristan Retorted.
"Oh I wish I were an oscar meyer weiner!" Pharaoh sang as he pet the bonsai lawn.
"Kaiba," Said Yugi as he came in with the orange juice, "What is this for anyways?"
"It has to overpower the taste of spray paint!" Kaiba said urgently, "And bring some to the mutt while you're at it, if its not too much trouble you could pour it on his head."
"...and then there was the underwear," Mokuba shuddered, "All of that leopard print..."
"For that is what I'd really like to be!" Pharoah started skipping around the kitchen, "Oh I wish I were an oscar meyer weiner! TOGETHER NOW!" He shouted. Everybody in the kitchen paused from their conversations/arguments/going crazy to yell "BECAUSE THEN EVERY ONE WOULD BE IN LOVE WITH ME!"
"Oh thats just what you want, isn't it Tristan?" Duke said, "For everyone to love you!"
"All that I'm saying is that you could be a little more supportive of my choice to own a duel disk! Even if I never use it!' Tristan replied, "God, you make me out to be some sort of selfish money hoarder!" His voice got high pitched and cracked as he said, "I just can't take it anymore,"
"And the hats...so many hats," Mokuba was rocking back and forth, "Big hats, small hats, short hats, tall hats...green hats, blue hats, me hats, you hats..."
"DONE!" Said Kaiba triumphantly, holding up the pancakes which looked good as new. Pegasus came in and took them out on a tray.
"M'mmm," Tea said, as she ate her pancake, "It was worth the wait,"
"My complements to the chef," Mai said.
"Tristan," Duke said, when everybody had been seated, "I'm sorry,"
"I'm sorry too," Said Tristan, "Lets never fight again, alright?"
"Hey Kaiba," Joey said, frowning at his glass of orange juice, "Theres a bug in here,"
"Some spit too," Kaiba added. And everybody may or may not have had a wonderful time. Thats for you to decide when you read the next exciting chapter of A Yu-Gi-Oh parody.
((An extra note. I would like to add that we, the authors, really enjoyed writing this chapter. We all agree its our favorite, and hope you loved it just as much. Please show your support with a review. Yes we DO accept anonymous reviews. The more, the better. ))
