Honey, I Released the Fangirls!
A/N: Hey, everybody! You obviously didn't really like that last chapter, 'cause there weren't all that many reviews! Well, I've tried to be funnier, but I don't know how funny I really am… I would hate to wake up one morning and realize that I should be writing drama fics instead of parody! Um… I've written, for this story, about fourteen chapters so far, and also have a plan for a sequel. This chapter is kind of long. But please keep giving me feedback! Quantity is more important than quality!
Disclaimer: I own only characters of my own design, and that only came to be after a long legal battle. I am, however, determined to continue to call them my own, so please don't steal them!
OMGOMG!HONEYIRELEASEDTHEFANGIRLS!WHATDOIDO!HELP!
Chapter Seven: Ed falls ill
The girls could hear a commotion going on upstairs. They called for their guard whom they called 'Benny' even though his real name was Astricus but he was too busy. Dejected and sorrowful, the girls retreated to the back of their cell.
"What time do you think it is?"
"I dunno." The girls surveyed their surroundings for a minute before looking at each other.
"No notebook."
"No pens."
"No rocks. Nothing. They gave us nothing in this cell, besides these little chocolates."
"That's cruel and unusual!"
"Which may not be against the law here," interjected Mia. The girls were silent for a minute, then they decided to eat the chocolates and to do a one-sentence-each story orally. But their hearts weren't into it.
"Girls," said Sarah as they sat around, sipping their warm but bland broth and munching on soft wheat bread, "We have got to get out of here." Little did they know the opportunity was very, very close…
OMGOMG!HONEYIRELEASEDTHEFANGIRLS!WHATDOIDO!HELP!
It was either very late at night or very early in the morning when Peter was awoken by Throm.
"Your Majesty, my apologies for awakening you, but the Beavers have come with a disturbing tale. Please, it is imperative that you hear it."
Peter was up in a flash, running to the library where Mr. and Mrs. Beaver were waiting. "What's going on?" Peter asked, not even bothering to sit. Mr. Beaver whirled around.
"Oh, High King Peter! We have some very bad news!"
"What is it, Mr. Beaver?"
"We're being invaded!"
"By who?"
"A witch! She's called Emulun, and she's leading an army of trolls! They're rampaging the forest! And rumor says that Emulun was taught the dark arts by Jadis, the White Witch!" Mr. Beaver spat to show his love and devotion to the former ruler of Narnia, also showing that even beavers have salivary glands.
"What havoc has she created so far?"
"Well, there are many dead, many, many more wounded, and general destruction. Oh, you must help, King Peter, you must!"
"Of course I shall, Mrs. Beaver, of course! I owe my duty to this country, and I shall stick to that. Please pardon me while I get my brother, and we shall ride tonight!"
Peter ran off to Edmund's quarters. "Ed! ED!" he cried, yanking the door open. "Ed! Wake up! We have a crisis!" he charged at the bed, shaking his brother. "Ed! Edmund! EDMUND! Wake up! WAKE UP!"
All Peter's brother did was moan softly, rather like he had the day he had been stabbed by the White Witch. "Ed? Edmund?" Peter shook his brother again, more gently this time. "Edmund, please wake up…" he touched his brother's forehead. It was blazing hot. "SUSAN!" Peter called, very, very much afraid…
OMGOMG!HONEYIRELEASEDTHEFANGIRLS!WHATDOIDO!HELP!
Susan sat back after tenderly adjusting a damp cloth to Edmund's forehead.
"He's got a very high fever, but I'll do my best to bring it down. He'll be okay, Peter." She gently patted Peter's arm.
"I know, it's just… for some reason I can't stop feeling responsible for all the trouble around me…"
"Mark Twain felt like that," said one young, elfin guard. "Some scholar said so in a Ken Burns documentary…"
"What?" said everyone in the room, including the unconscious Edmund.
"Oh, nothing," said the guard.
Peter looked back at Susan. "I've got to go and defeat this witch, Emulun or something. I hopefully won't be gone long…" Peter hugged his sister, kissed his brother's forehead, and went to round up the guards.
As he left, he glanced back, and wished with all his might that Edmund would get well. But at that moment, more than one person was leaving their place at Cair Paravel…
OMGOMG!HONEYIRELEASEDTHEFANGIRLS!WHATDOIDO!HELP!
"Ready? PULL!" the three fangirls, with many chocolate wrappers around their feet, yanked at a pole of some kind, setting off a chain reaction.
It would take far too long to explain it, but let's just say the girls broke the Rube Goldberg record, and had decided to get married in duct tape dresses, they loved it duct tape so much.
"WE'RE FREE!" they screamed as the door to their cell clanked open. They immediately began to rave about each other's ideas.
"Ray, it was genius of you to think of using the marble to counteract the weight of the bit of bread."
"And Sarah, when you remembered to triple-knot the electrical wires… brilliant."
"And Mia, when you brought out the duct tape, I was seriously going to kiss you.
After chatting excitedly about their machine for a few minutes, they went quiet. Then, the age-old question: "What now?"
They were silent, trying to think.
"Let's go with Peter and the guards."
"No, they already left. I'm hungry. Let's stock up on LOTS of FOOD!"
"Then we can follow Peter, wherever he's going. He's probably going to need our help, what with Edmund being ill and all." Benny the guard had, it appeared, told all.
"Okay." The girls went in search of food for their really unnecessary journey…
OMGOMG!HONEYIRELEASEDTHEFANGIRLS!WHATDOIDO!HELP!
A/N: Okay, that was another plot chapter. By the way, I apologize for my earlier pity party. I don't know what I was thinking. But oh well! Review munchie is… pomegranates! Yum? Oh well! Review! I want at least three before I post again…
