Mean while in Domino City…
"Where's the Laundromat?" Pharaoh asked Yugi.
"Uh, maybe I should drive-" Began Yugi, but his Yami shot him a glare and he shut up. Pharaoh did not know how to drive, he'd never done it before, "Look at the map, Yugi!" Pharaoh commanded," I've never been able to find my way around Domino city."
He came up to a stop light where six cars were lined up and decided to use the side walk to go around them.
"Pharaoh! You're going over 70mph!" Yugi exclaimed.
"Hah!" Pharaoh said, "I'm well over 80, what's your point?"
"I showed you where the break was, didn't I?" Asked Yugi.
"I dunno," Pharaoh shrugged, "Now which way do I go? Oh! Never mind! There it is!" He parked the car…inside the Laundromat.
"PHARAOH!"
Yugi exclaimed, the air bag had gone off and Yugi was struggling not
to suffocate. Everybody inside of the Laundromat screamed and ran
out…except for the ones trapped under the car…they just screamed
a lot….most of them… Two washing machines had toppled over, as
well as a vending machine which blew up.
Pharaoh got out of the
car to check his parking. "Perfect," He said, noting the straight
wheels, "Come on Yugi, we've got to lock up the car. I don't
trust people in this neighborhood."
Yugi was indignant, "Hey!" He yelled, "This is my neighborhood!"
"Well I wasn't insulting YOU," Pharaoh rolled his eyes, "But you've got to admit, there are some creeps, like the old guy in the games shop!"
"Gramps?" Yugi asked.
"What ever," Pharaoh said, "-And then theres that guy with the offensive hair,"
"Tristan?" Yugi asked,
"-And his muttish friend," Pharaoh added.
"Joey?" Yugi said.
"-And the friendship girl,"
"Well, yeah, her," Yugi admitted, "But the rest of those are my friends and/or family members!" Yugi was really peeved.
"Come along Hikari," Pharaoh said, "We'll douse your head before it explodes,"
They both walked up to the front desk, where Pharaoh began to ring the little bell that was placed there. He continued for three minutes. "Damnit!" he cried, "HELLO! Is anybody here?"
"I don't think any body's coming-"
"Shut it, Motou!" Pharaoh snapped, "I am the godly pharaoh! People were placed on this planet to serve me!"
"Yeah… but you just ran most of them over…" Yugi glanced at the people that were struggling to get out from under the car. Most of them were swearing at Pharaoh… most of them, Though a few were hardly in any shape to curse… let alone talk. "Why don't we just go back there and find your coat… I'm sure they won't mind."
"Nonsense Yugi!" Pharaoh said. "Their sign out there clearly states that they'll serve us with pleasure! And if they don't-"
"My leg!" screamed a person in the back of the room. "You broke my leg!"
"I don't like it here…" said Yugi. "It scares me."
"Nonsense, those are just the senile locals. They always start acting this way when someone under 95 years of age comes into town…"
"You're not being very nice, Pharaoh, this is the city that we live in," Yugi commented.
"Don't get all 'Tea' on me," Pharaoh said, disregarding Yugi's statement…as usual… "Domino City is, in Pegasus's words, BORING. The Purple Pegasus Palace is the place to be!"
"That place is creepy!" Yugi argued, "Don't tell me we're going back!"
"Of course we are!" Pharaoh said, "Purple is my color, after all,"
Yugi ran behind the counter to find Pharaoh's coat while Pharaoh scolded the person with the broken leg for being so careless around parked cars.
Back at the Purple Pegasus Palace (Man, we jump around a lot!)
"Hey Joey!" Tristan threw a pillow at his friend, "Get out of the way, I'm watching TV!"
"So am I," Joey retorted, "Only I'm watching the light pixels, heh heh, the pretty colors."
"You're barely an inch away from the screen!" Tristan yelled, "Come on Joey, Its not good for your eyes-"
Valon snuck into the room. It was empty aside from the two Television junkies. Valon was carrying a big bag of cameras. They weren't small or, when he had finished setting them up, even hidden. But he didn't expect any one on this island to notice, they weren't exactly geniuses.
"Croquet," Pegasus sighed. He was in his television room, actually- his own camera monitor room. He was staring at the screen for the living room. "Why is Valon putting a security camera over…the security camera?"
Croquet didn't answer, his face was emotionless…he was wax.
"Ah, good point," Pegasus nodded, "He simply doesn't realize that my camera is there. Well, it is hidden rather well, now isn't it?"
It was hidden in the leaves of a potted plant that had been nailed to an otherwise empty wall. It was a rather suspicious way to hide a camera, but, again, These are Yu-Gi-Oh characters.
Croquet said nothing
"Well you don't have to be that way about it" said Pegasus "and no, you do not get a pay-raise"
In the living room…
"Joey! What's the point of watching TV if you aren't going to watch TV?" Tristan walked over to where Joey's face was practically connecting with the television and grabbed him by the ear. Tristan didn't duel so he had some physical strength (not much, but some) and managed to pull Joey away.
"Hey! They were just getting to a really good part!" argued Joey.
"Good part? All there is is this blue screen! You're not even watching a show!"
"So? Some of us don't need fancy characters and plots to understand a good story!" Tristan didn't bother to reply to this. It wouldn't do any good. Instead he rolled his eyes and muttered something about taking a walk, before stalking out of the room.
"Hey, where are you going?" It was the Mary Sue. Tristan, who had just stepped out of the front door, looked curiously at her.
"Are you…um, talking to me?" he asked. The Mary Sue shrugged.
"I guess… why?"
Tristan blushed. "Er… its just, well, the Mary sues never notice me in the stories. I guess I'm not good Mary-Sue boyfriend material…" He frowned. "The fan fiction authors seem to think I'm either gay or just perverted…"
"Oh, well in that case," The Mary sue was about to turn away when Tristan grabbed her by the arm.
"No! Wait! Do you…um, wanna walk with me? I'm going to the beach… and I left the kids…er I mean, Joey and Yugi in the house."
"Hm, well I guess." Sighed Mary Sue. "But I'm only doing this because I'm not supposed to be judgmental or rude."
"Uh…okay." said Tristan, already regretting his decision to bring Mary Sue with him.
"I don't think this is working…" said Mokuba, sitting on Alistair's raft as Kaiba struggled to row it out to sea.
"Must get off of stupid, purple island…" Said Kaiba, barely noticing his brother's comment. "Must get off of stupid, purple island…"
"Hey Mikey!" Said Alistair, who was also sitting on the raft. "You should help Kaiba. He looks tired." Mikey, who was apparently sitting on Alistair's shoulders didn't seem to like the idea. "… Don't you use that tone of voice with me Mikey!" Alistair scolded. "And Seto Kaiba is NOT a better brother than me!...Oh, I'm sorry Mikey… please don't cry! I didn't mean to get angry…"
"I'm going to call Roland…" said Mokuba, withdrawing his cell phone.
"No!" gasped Kaiba. "Going… to do… this… alone!" He faltered and accidentally fell into the water (it was his 38th time in there since he had stolen the raft.)
"But big brother…" whined Mokuba. "My clothes are getting wet! And my hair won't spike properly! This humidity is making it frizz!" This was true. Mokuba's Hair was so frizzy at this point, that it had turned into an afro. Seto's hair, however, was plastered to his head, from being so wet, and had twigs and tropical fish wriggling in it.
"We all have to make sacrifices," Kaiba told Mokuba, "It'll all be worth it in the end-" His voice was drowned out by the sound of the ferry returning to the island.
Joe took another doughnut out of the box as he watched the camera monitors. Nothing too exciting had happened so far, except that he had held his breath for a whole thirty nine seconds. The doughnut fell out of his hand when he saw two people striding up from the ferry dock. "That must be Dartz!" He said aloud, "What was I supposed to do about Dartz?" He asked himself, trying to remember Pegasus's instructions. "Oh yes," He said aloud…he got lonely with no one to talk to…"I was supposed to call the boss!"
Ring Ring "Croquet! Get the phone!" Pegasus said. Croquet, of course, did not move, "Croquet! Don't make me wait forever! It might be important!"
The wax figure stared blankly at Pegasus.
"Of course! You're right Croquet!" Pegasus sighed, "The phone is on the table right in front of me, If I try then I can answer it myself." After a strenuous reach for the phone Pegasus pushed the speaker phone button.
"Yes?" He asked.
"Mr. Pegasus Sir, this is black coffee grounds!"
"I don't recall ever meeting a black coffee grounds," Pegasus sighed, "Or is that what you're advertising? Well I'm not interested in coffee grounds thank you very much," He hung up the phone, "Telemarketers," He muttered to Croquet.
The phone rang again. "My arm will be sore tomorrow!" Pegasus complained as he again pressed the speaker phone button.
"Pegasus, Mr Pegasus! This is Joe…the security guard," Came Joe's voice.
"Security Guard Boy!" Pegasus exclaimed, "Would you mind screening my calls? The damn telemarketers are after my money again!"
"Uh, alright sir," Joe replied, "But I'm calling because two people just arrived onto the island, I think one of them could be Dartz."
"Let him in, but not the other," Pegasus ordered.
"Yessir," Joe said. There was a click as the security guard hung up.
"Pharaoh," Yugi complained, "I think Pegasus would have appreciated if we hadn't left his car on the ferry, You're just being stubborn!"
"If I can't drive it nobody can!" Pharaoh pouted, "If you just gave me the keys-"
"No," Yugi said automatically, "All I can say about you're driving skills is that it's a good thing we can't die!"
"But you go the speed limit, Yugi!" Moaned Pharaoh. "It would've taken us DAYS to get back to the island if you had driven! Besides, your feet can't reach the pedals anyhow."
"Yes they can…" lied Yugi.
"Excuse me," A security guard stepped in front of them, "Only one of you can go beyond this point,"
"Why?" Asked Yugi, Pharaoh slapped a hand over his mouth and said
"The short one will stay, he doesn't like it here anyhow,"
"Alright Mr. Dartz," The security guard nodded, "You can go through,"
"But he's not-" Began Yugi, again pharaoh shut him up.
"Yes," Pharoah said, "I, Master Dartz, will go through!"
"But what will I do?" Yugi complained.
Joe scratched his head, "There's a beach down there, you can go and build sand castles! Here, I'll take you there,"
Pharaoh went off to the Purple Pegasus Palace and Joe took Yugi's arm.
"So how old are you, Kid? Seven? Eight?" Joe handed him a lollipop.
"I'm sixteen!" Yugi snapped, shoving the lollipop out of his face, "And Tristan told me never to take candy from strangers!"
"Alright," Joe rolled his eyes, "Don't take the candy, what do I care. I'm Joe, I'm-" He snickered, "105 years old!" Yugi glared as Joe burst into laughter, "Come on little guy, Alistair will watch you."
"NOOOOOO!" Yugi exclaimed.
"MIKEY!" Alistair yelled when he saw him, "I've been worried sick! I didn't mean to yell at you that way! I'm sorry!" Alistair picked Yugi up and gave him a cuddle.
"Let go of me, you monster!" Yugi screamed, "Somebody help! Anybody!" Joe had left to tend to his 'work' and Kaiba was yelling at Mokuba. "Isn't there anybody who will help me?" Yugi cried.
"Yugi!" Came Tristan's voice. Yugi sighed in relief as his 'friend' pried Alistair off of him.
"You're alright now," Tristan said consolingly. Yugi nodded and went to build a sand castle while Alistair had gone back to talking to thin air.
Suddenly there was an uncharacteristic squeal of fright from Kaiba. While a melodic squeal sang out of the beautiful(but not too beautiful) Mary Sue.
"Setty!" Mary Sue yelled, running up to him and getting sand all over those highly fashionable clothes that she had just thrown on that morning, "I missed you too!" She said. Giving him an almost hug but then stopping shyly. She stared blankly as Kaiba made no move to sweep her off of her feet. He seemed to be growling…
"Don't touch him!" Mokuba warned, "He hasn't had his shots!"
"You mean he's sick?" Mary Sue asked, "He's terminally Ill? Oh god no!" She sank to her knees and bawled…only she bawled quietly and it sounded like music. "Oh Setty, now We'll never have a chance to reveal our forbidden love! Our child will grow up with out ever knowing his father!"
Kaiba stopped trying to put his almost non-existent strength against the current and stared at Mary Sue blankly, "We don't have a child," He said. Mary Sue blinked.
"We will when we're married," She said after a moment and laughed, "Oh Setty, with my looks, my intellect and my out going nature we'll have the PERFECT children!"
"No we won't," Kaiba argued, "Because we're not getting married!"
"Stop denying our LOVE!" Mary Sue said in frustration, "Or I'll be forced to love the second most over used character in romance fan fics, RYOU!" Somewhere from the Purple Pegasus Palace Ryou could be heard screaming. "… or Joey…" She continued. "Though he's more of your type, don't you think?"
"I don't have time for this," Kaiba growled. "If you're so desperate to have a husband then why don't you take Taylor over there. He needs to have a girlfriend at some point… Girl being the key word there…"
"But Nii Sama…" Kaiba groaned. Why did Mokuba always have to spoil his clever plans? "I NEED a mother figure in my life!"
"No you don't!" Seto shot him a glare. "I'm the only brother/father/mother that you need!"
"But Alistair-"
"Mokuba…" Kaiba said warningly. Mokuba was instantly silenced.
"I would be a great mother/sister to lil' Moki!" Mary Sue squealed. "I can even make cookies!" Kaiba rolled his eyes.
"Fine," he said. Mary Sue almost fainted as Kaiba seemingly gave in. "You can baby sit Mokuba today."
"Yay- what?" Mokuba and Mary Sue said together.
"I said you can baby sit Mokuba today… I've got to find that stupid Ferry, then I'm going back to work." Kaiba smiled triumphantly… and then instantly corrected himself by replacing it with a selfish scowl.
"But big brother…" Mokuba looked worried. "I don't want to be alone with her-"
"I'll come by and pick you up tomorrow, Mokuba." Said Kaiba, waving goodbye as he trudged out of the water and walked, soaking wet, to the security booth, located not too far away.
"NOOO!" Wailed Mokuba and Mary Sue together.
"Hey Mokuba, you can play with me." Said Yugi. He was sitting in the sand, just a few yards away, building a sandcastle. Tristan watched from the shade of a palm tree, taking pictures every now and then and remarking to Alistair how sweet little kids were.
"Eh… I think I'd rather hang out with Mary sue…" shuddered Mokuba.
"Hey you!" said Kaiba, walking up to the security booth, that Joe sat in. Joe, who'd been busy trying to complete a cross word puzzle, looked up and gulped.
"Mr.Kaiba sir…" he said, getting to his feet, worried that Pegasus might have found out about him leaving for a while and had sent Kaiba here to fire him. "What can I do for you?"
"Do you know about a ferry that goes to and from this island?"
"Y-yes Mr.Kaiba."
"Where does it dock?"
"I can't-"
"Tell me or you're fired!"
"But Pegasus said-"
"I don't care what he said!" Kaiba shouted, looming over the security desk. "I'm getting off this island, and if that means torturing you to do so, then I'll just have Valon pay you a little visit."
"But Valon wouldn't do that!" Joe said stubbornly… and stupidly. "We're friends! I helped him get his cameras!"
"What do you mean you're friends? And WHAT cameras? Tell me or I swear-"
"He's documenting your stay here at the Palace of Purple." Joe said quickly. Kaiba's scowl deepened.
"My stay?"
"Your's and Mr. Wheelers… and I guess there's a separate part devoted to the wardrobe…" Joe squeaked the last few words out, ready for a blow to the head. To his surprise, Kaiba began to chuckle.
"Well that's too bad for that little biker punk then. I'm leaving. Where did you say the ferry was?"
"T-there, Mr.Kaiba…" He pointed a shaky finger towards a road that was labeled 'Ferry this way!'"
"Hmm, I somehow think I should've seen that sooner…" Kaiba mused. "Oh well. I'm leaving."
"But Mr. Kaiba! You can't! Pegasus said that no one could leave the island!"
"That's right," Came the ever drawling voice of Valon, "The soul of the pharaoh…"
"What?" Kaiba snapped, staring at the newly appeared Valon who was standing next to him.
"Huh?" Valon asked, looking at him, "Sorry, I was day dreaming, what's going on here?" He nudged Joe and asked, "Have you got any good footage yet?"
Joe sighed and replied, "I have Mokuba and Yugi in a fist fight, Tea trying to scratch the three headed dog behind the ears and the Mary-Sue drowning…nothing exciting yet."
"No back stabbing? No unpleasant surprises?" Valon asked hopefully. Joe shook his head and then said, "Hold on, there's another person coming in from the ferry dock!"
Dartz grumbled to himself as he walked off of the Ferry. The unpleasant news of his Building's destruction had reached him just as he had gotten onto dry land and he had ridden the ferry all the way back with plans of murder. As he came upon the security booth he saw the culprit standing there, no traces of guilt on his face. "God he's tall," Dartz muttered to himself, trying to decide which form of murder would work best, "What is he, seven feet? Eight? I wonder how much he works out?"
Kaiba looked down the path, past the enraged Dartz and saw the Ferry…leaving.
"NOOOO!" Seto groaned, falling to his knees.
"That's right," Dartz growled, mistaking Kaiba's exasperation for fear, "You're dead!"
Kaiba, ignoring the statement, shoved past Dartz and went running after the Ferry yelling, "STOP! STOP! Turn Around DAMMIT!"
Dartz went tearing after him and Valon and Joe returned to watching the screen…and waiting for something-anything-exciting to happen. The sun was almost down when the first reality TV moment occurred. Tristan had found the mysterious room called "Speak your mind to the camera," (Which Valon had set up earlier) and he had decided to tell the camera his thoughts. He sat down on a chair, a mauve colored backdrop behind him, and stared seriously at the camera lens in front of him.
"Its, like, Eight-0-clock at Pegasus's mansion," He sighed, "And-basically- everybody's just getting really restless. Seto was attacked by Dartz and he isn't even filing a lawsuit, he's just sitting at the ferry dock…he won't even come up to eat so Mary-Sues been, like, stressing out. Which really spreads bad vibes. Duke," His eyes watered, "Has been taking this Joey thing really hard. I feel really bad but at the same time I just get really annoyed with his jealousy…so…yeah. I haven't told the kids yet…their gonna be crushed." Tristan got up and left the room. He felt better now. Maybe he would go back to head butting trees in a few days.
Next to go in the room was Duke. He sat down and paused for a dramatic moment before saying
"Tristan's been bugging me a lot lately, he's all 'stop being so jealous duke', which is totally not my style. I just can't be happy for someone who chose Joey over me. I mean, the guys a completely nimrod! But hey, that's just my opinion! Nobody cares about that. I was all like- 'we should order a supreme pizza instead of listing off all of the toppings' but they were all like 'but we don't want any cheese', and I was like 'Order the supreme with out cheese' and-god. Who doesn't want cheese on their pizza?"
Valon buried his head in his hands, "This is crap!" He exclaimed, "Complete Crap…" He looked up and smiled, "Its perfect!" He and Joe were sitting in the Security Booth, they slapped each other a high five. This was gold. Now to get up the ratings. "Here we go," Valon said, pressing the enter button on the computer, "Its reality TV, LIVE!" Valon gave a malicious "Muahahahahaha!" And then turned to the screen that watched the living room…where Joey had just turned on the TV and found himself watching…himself.
"Hey!" Joey exclaimed, "We're on TV!"
…TO BE CONTINUED
