Disclaimer: Hetalia: Axis Powers is owned by Hidekaz Himaruya. Alice in Wonderland is owned by Lewis Carroll/Disney (elements from both versions are used). Human names are used.


Chapter 2: The Hall of Doors

"Down here, petit garçon. Behind the curtain." the voice continued. Feliciano found the curtain in question; it was a very small one, pink, and decorated with embroidered roses. He walked up to it, knelt down, and pushed it aside. Behind it stood a tiny door, about fifteen inches high, made of red oak wood with a golden doorknob…that had a face. The face was a spitting image of Francis, down to the perverted smirk that Feliciano was always oblivious to.

"Big Brother Francis? What are you doing as a doorknob down here?" he asked the knob, confused.

"I don't know what you are talking about monsieur, but if you stay a while I'm sure we can learn a lot about each other." the doorknob said with a moan.

"Well, my name is Feliciano and I'm looking for Mr. Roderich. He's wearing a waistcoat and has bunny ears on his head. Well, he doesn't usually have the bunny ears, but he does right now. And a fluffy tail. Do you know where he went?"

"Why, that man went inside me just now. He goes inside me very often, if you know what I mean." the doorknob said while raising his eyebrows in emphasis.

"I don't know what you mean at all, but then can you help me?" the naïf asked.

"Not really, monsieur. You are much too large to fit into me. Maybe that bottle over there can help you."

"What bottle?" Feliciano asked.

"The one on the table behind you of course!"

"There is no table behind- oh!" When Feliciano turned around, he saw a table to about his waist in height made entirely of glass. Resting on the table was a little cork sealed bottle filled with an unidentified liquid; the elixir was a shimmering ocean blue with a syrupy consistency. There was a label tied around the bottle's neck that read "Drink Me" in curly and enticing lettering. Feliciano took up the bottle and examined it tentatively. "Grandpa Romulus and Lovino said that if you drink too much from a bottle marked poison, it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later. I don't feel good about this, Mr. Doorknob."

"I'm sure it's fine. I have never seen anyone die in this room."

"Sooner or later. Someone could easily leave this room and then die of poison." Feliciano countered.

The doorknob sighed in annoyance at his curl-haired visitor. "Do you want to get out of here?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then drink!"

Feliciano took a deep breath, popped the cork off the bottle, and downed the odd, blue liquid. True to its texture, the liquid was extremely sweet like syrup but it also had the flavors of curry, lemon, and mint. Altogether, it was an oddly pleasing taste. "Hey, that wasn't that bad," Feliciano said relieved, setting the now empty bottle back on the table. "But how was this supposed to help me?"

"You'll see petit garçon."

Unexpectedly a strange feeling hit Feliciano in the gut making him double over and groan in pain. Feliciano felt his whole body tingle and tighten, like if he went through a wringer. He shut his eyes tight and waited for the pain to go away. Once it did, he slowly opened his eyes and looked at his environment. Everything was much, much larger now. The glass table was as tall as a skyscraper, but the door was now proportional to him. "Wow, everything looks so different from this angle," Feliciano exclaimed astonished. "Oh! Is this what you meant Mr. Doorknob? This works perfectly!" He ran to the door and tried to use it, but the doorknob flinched out of the way.

"I first need the key, Feli. You do have it right?"

"What key?" Feliciano asked, but when he lifted his head, he got his answer. High up on the table lay a golden key that Feliciano swore wasn't there before and now there was no way to reach it. "You didn't say anything about a key! What am I to do now?!" Feliciano wailed at the doorknob. He anxiously ran to the table and tried to figure out a solution to his predicament. However, he couldn't think of any solution other than climbing the table leg, which would be futile considering the slipperiness of the glass. When going around the table one more time, Feliciano's eyes fell on a tiny glass box sitting silently on the floor. In the box was a tiny cake with pink and white icing. The words "Eat Me" were spelled out with sprinkles.

"Why don't you try that, Feli?" the doorknob suggested when he saw Feliciano's discovery. "If it makes you grow larger, you can reach the key and open me."

Feliciano nodded in agreement. "And if makes me grow smaller, I can creep under you."

"I would very much like that."

"So, either way I can go and find Mr. Roderich." Feliciano concluded. He removed the cake from the box and took a tiny bite from it. Nothing happened. "Eh, why won't it work?" the tiny man asked confused. With everything being out of the ordinary today, it was almost dumbfounding when things went the normal, dull way. Nonetheless, Feliciano was quite frightened by the idea of being small forever, so with determination he finished off the cake, as if he was forcing it to work. A new feeling overcame Feliciano in the stomach, not one of tightening but stretching. Feliciano groaned in pain once more as he grew at a rapid rate. He kept his eyes open this time and watched in panic as he grew taller and taller and the room grew smaller and smaller around him until a smack from the ceiling prompted him to sit down in the now cramped room. Bemused by the sudden change in size, he completely forgot about the doorknob and accidentally gave it a face-full of his foot. The doorknob shrieked in response.

"Mhmmmhmmhhmm!" was all Feliciano could hear. Once settled in his new state, he lifted his foot away from the doorknob.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

The doorknob wriggled his nose and repeated. "I said, 'a little of that sure went a long way!' Why, you're so large you will probably have to mail shoes to your feet through postal service!" The doorknob began to laugh at his own joke. Honhonhon's filled the air making Feliciano blush in embarrassment.

"Really? I didn't mean to get this big! Please stop laughing Mr. Doorknob!"

"I can't help it! I'm imagining the mailing address."

Feliciano's Right Foot, Esq.

Hearthrug,

Near the Fender,

(with Feli's love)

"Stop laughing!" Tears pricked Feliciano's eyes again, but he couldn't hold them back this time. "I'm stuck here now and I- I'll nev-never get out!" Gallon-sized tears streamed down Feliciano's face and formed a little puddle around him. The puddle turned into a lake and the lake turned into a sea of tears, about 4 inches deep and covering the whole floor.

"Come now, crying won't help Feli," the doorknob said realizing his mistake. "I'm sorry, just stop crying." However, the doorknob's comforting words did nothing for Feliciano and he continued to cry and cry and cry until he wore himself out. Once he began to dry his eyes, Roderich-bunny rushed into the room from one of the bigger doors, this time splendidly dressed with a fan in one hand and a pair of white kid gloves in the other.

Feliciano saw him as an opportunity for help and said in the most timid and smallest voice he could muster, "Mr. Roderich, can you help me?" Roderich-bunny looked up and saw before him a giant about nine feet high. Terrified, he dropped his gloves and fan and ran with all his might out the same door that he used earlier, still murmuring to himself something that Feliciano couldn't hear. A fresh batch of tears fell from Feliciano's eyes when all of his hope seemed lost. While trying to ignore the large man's sobs, the doorknob noticed the fan and gloves and decided to tell Feliciano about them.

"Feli, do you think those fan and gloves might be of use?"

Feliciano looked down at the tiny objects floating on the water and gently picked them up. As it was awfully hot in the cramped room, Feliciano began fanning and muttering to himself. "Grandpa Romulus said I need to help myself sometimes, but how can I when I barely know how to do simple actions? I can't even get myself out of a basic room! I always need to rely on the others around me and now I'm stuck here forever!" As Feliciano began to ramble, he became so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice that the fan was making him shrink.

"Um...Feli? Aren't you noticing anything?" the doorknob hinted.

"I had to rely on you, Mr. Doorknob this whole time and now where am I? Nowhere! When will I learn to take care of myself for once?"

"Feli, you're shrinking again! Look!" the doorknob yelled. Feliciano finally noticed, but by the time he threw the fan and gloves away, he was the same size as he was when he drank the potion, maybe even smaller.

"Oh goodness! I almost went out like a candle! Thank you Mr. Doorknob for warning me." Feliciano said gratefully.

"Thank me in my manner, petite garçon." replied the doorknob.

"Now I can go through you again!" Feliciano cried, not noticing the prior comment. He ran to the doorknob, but the doorknob flinched again.

"You still don't have the key, Feli."

"Oh no!" Feliciano turned around to see the table as tall as before and the key as far away as before. "It's no use!" Feliciano huffed and began to kick the floor in frustration. He accidently slipped and ended up falling chin deep in seawater.

"How did I manage to get to the sea?" Feliciano asked, but then he remembered how he cried gallons of salty tears when he was nine feet tall. "I guess I'll have to swim through this. I hope I will meet someone new soon. I don't think I can manage being alone down here."


Translations (these could be incorrect and I apologize if they are)

petit garcon: Little Boy

monsieur: Mister/Sir