A/N: Hi! Hi. I'm late again. Sorry. But I could've been later! The backlog recording therefore worked because I'm only a day late. Let's hope I keep this up! But also I have to do a lot of adulting these coming few months. Pursuing a few key life changes. I still intend to update this fic every fortnight, but actually writing it is gonna get put on the back-burner. That's where the value of having 7 months of drafted backlog will really shine!

On another note, it's been a while since we've checked in on Zelda and her suspicious malewife...


The Light Invasion

PART I - DESERT THE ARMY

Link of Ordon: Is your duty to your kingdom, or the parasite in your shadow?


Chapter 6 - The Wrong Way


Link had never wandered this far into the woods before. The warnings were numerous. They said that monsters erupted from the ground, dropped from trees, or scuttled from under roots. They said that mists would steal you away if you took a wrong turn. They said that naughty children who wandered too far wasted away to their bones, haunting the forest for all eternity and luring others to their fate so they wouldn't be so alone.

But in the eyes of the army, Link was a man. In the eyes of the goddesses, he was a warrior. In the eyes of the monsters, he and his noble steed were a threat. Why else did he never encounter them? The air was clear, and the moonlight illuminated the thinning trees. It was strange to think that nothing but these childish tales, nothing but the will of his family, barred him from this place. Link expected more resistance, but he simply rode along the path with nothing in his way.

The only thing worth fearing in these woods were the shadows themselves. How he longed to be free of them, protected by the light of the moon.

Anticipation climbed with the slope of the hill. The last tree of Faron Woods marked the peak and the start of Link's adventure. At the top, he would see lush, green fields to gallop across without obstacle, streams to leap over, flocks of birds to chase as they rode the same wind. It all awaited the hero and his steed.

The view was grand, but lacking in life. No unmarred sun painted the greenery. Rolling fields of yellowed parchment sprawled into the distance. Of the smattering of trees, the leaves drooped from their branches. They were at an even greater loss for green. The oppressive night sky was devoid of birds, yet a few kargaroks still circled, searching for prey that had long fled for greener grasslands, wherever those may be.

It was a withered sight, but a sight none-the-less. A sight Link would restore and gaze upon in its full glory at the conclusion of his quest.

"How long are you gonna keep standing there?" Link jumped. Midna was right next to him, and the shadow of the tree hid her well. Too well. Her one eye, the only thing visible, was narrowed. Or was it crinkled with amusement? It was hard to tell without her animated body language or her silver smirk.

Rather than answer, Link tapped Epona's sides, spurring her down the fields. When the land evened, he sent her into a gallop. What a thrill. The hoofs beat against the grass. The wind billowed his hair and his hat. No dense trees or narrow paths choked him any longer. Link was in flight across the fields, fast and free. His laugh entwined with Epona's joyous neigh as they crossed leagues.

Midna must be hitching a ride in his shadow again. He pitied her a little. Did she experience this excitement? This flight? This cadence?

"…wrong way!" Wrong way of what, little imp? To her, Link always did things the wrong way. With a frustrated yell, Midna flew to Epona's front. She skid to a halt and reared. Midna screeched again. "You're going the wrong-"

The squark of a kargarok was the final fright to tip Link off the saddle. He reached for the reigns but only grasped air. The ground slammed scabbard and shield into his spine. Monsters squawked. Wings beat. Hooves trampled the grass around Link. He curled and heaved for air. Epona, don't trample him. Don't trample him. Don't.

When he drew his first full breath, he blew into Ilia's horse call. The tune was off, but it mellowed Epona's bucks and stomping, though still she trotted and huffed, jittery and snapping at the peckish bird.

Link rolled himself upright and drew his sword. Time to test Rusl's superb craftsmanship.

Don't forget again. Never strike first. He hit sword against shield as he backed away, drawing the bird from the mare. When he dropped his guard, the bird squawked and lunged. Into the path of the blade. Two pieces hit the grass. A head and the rest.

Adrenaline and excitement faded to its lowest that day. Hunger cramps and yawns ambushed him. If the kargarok was already dead, why not roast it over a flame? This was an opportunity for nosh and a nap.

But what would Midna think? Would she punish him for satiating his basic human needs? Epona still panted from their frivolous gallop and frightening encounter. Even if Link could 'suck it up' and mount his horse, Epona wouldn't make it two trots with his weight. Snide and selfish as that imp was, she could not force them to do something impossible.

But if she tried anyway, Link might not have the means to challenge her magical might. Swords couldn't cut through shadow, after all.

"Hey, Midna?" She rose from his shadow with crossed arms and a hum. "I'm gonna set up camp."

"Are you serious? You've travelled, what, three kilometres? We've only been riding for about an hour."

"Epona's tuckered out, and so am I."

"Pfft! You're really bad at this whole travel thing, aren't you?"

Right. He was bad at it for having limited stamina and a horse with the same. Maybe Midna would be more 'generous' if he was nodding off on his saddle. If he looked like he was trying harder, she wouldn't sting him with her magic. Most likely. Link sighed. "Fine. We'll keep going for a bit."

Half a step towards Epona, Midna flew into his path. "Are you crazy?! You've got eye bags as dark as a kargarok's wing." That made no sense. Kargarok wings were pale. The evidence was right there. "I never told you to keep going, you dumb dog." Well, no, but she did make a big stink about him stopping. "If you knew you were so tired and hungry, why not stay at your little shack for a nap?"

"Because you wanted to leave as soon as possible."

Midna opened her mouth to snarl some insult, but nothing came. She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "All I'm saying is I want you to think a little more, okay? Every night you're out on this monster-infested field is a night where I have to protect you, and there isn't a whole lot I can do, okay?" Link would bet his life's savings that she could do plenty, but she just wasn't bothered. She could snare and throw things with her magic, for Din's sake, and the next 'thing' could be him!

"Yeah, I want to get to the portal as soon as possible," Midna sneered, "but you know what would get us there sooner?" She 'jabbed' his forehead, though he didn't feel it. "Common sense. No more poor planning. No more pointless galloping. No more getting spooked by kargaroks. And most of all, no more riding the wrong way. Like come on. You actually live here. It shouldn't take a foreigner to tell you that you're racing towards Eldin when Lanayru is that way!" Her palm flung north, while Link's trajectory had been blindly north-west.

That snappy, snarky shrew was horrible to twist him to her little ultimatum. She was nasty to berate him and call him stupid when it wasn't true. But this? Nothing was more infuriating than her being right about something. He was an idiot. He didn't pay attention to himself, his surroundings, or where he was going, and she was right to call him out on it, but he'd be damned if he let her be right about anything else.

No more getting caught up in the whimsy of the open road. No more dawdling in the face of destiny. No more giving her anything to vindicate her shallow insults. He was smart. He was resourceful. He was adaptable. He was the hero for Din's sake! And no way was some self-serving imp from the enemy faction going to make him feel anything less.

When he'd wake for his journey the next morning, he would be a new man. One she couldn't trample with her tiny shadow feet.


"You haven't eaten your lunch."

That was the first thing Fabian said when he entered Zelda's quarantine with a fresh bowl of soup. He glanced between the cold serve on her bedside, and Zelda sitting against pillows she had proudly propped up herself. Her posture was no longer wilted. It was regal. Somewhat regal. No way to tell for certain when her mind was still hazy around the edges.

"I'm afraid the bitterness was too much," she confessed. Her throat was still gravelly, but the pain was tolerable. "Is there no way of lessening it?"

"Regrettably not, my dear." He set the tray upon her lap. "I am so sorry. You deserve a feast of delicacies. A waltz of flavours upon your tongue. Alas, this is all that your delicate gut can take."

"I understand. Thank-you." There was a time when this pumpkin hue and aroma would have her stomach tingle in anticipation. Today it churned. It churned at every meal. Even as she hungered, the thought of torturing her tastebuds made her want to curdle. Perhaps some conversation would loosen the tension in her throat. "How goes the kingdom?"

"My queen, we have discussed this. Such worries will not help you recover."

"But-"

"Be assured that nothing is amiss. Hyrule continues to prosper." That was nice, but were details too much to ask for? Fabian could inform her of the winter preparations, or the tribute ceremony with the Ordonian representative, or the progress of the homeless housing initiative. Give her good news. Gods know she needs it.

"Dearest wife, you have not touched your soup. A starving queen is not a healthy one."

He had a point. Every mouthful of bitterness was a mouthful closer to wellness. Out of love for her people, she would endure this torture until she was fit to serve them again. The first spoonful was shove-and-swallow. On the way down, her throat stung like she had swallowed a thousand rusty needle tips. The second made her throat sting worse. The third was like waxing hair. The fourth was like stripping skin. She jolted from the pain. The spoon splattered into the soup, staining her silk glove.

"My dear, let me help you." Fabian lunged for her wrist. Zelda clutched it to her chest and shook her head. Rules were rules.

With a sigh, Fabian sank back to his stool. "Of course. Not even your handmaidens may see your, well, hands," he said, "but surely your husband, to whom you have devoted your heart, is the exception?"

Zelda shook her head only once. Even that rattled a brewing headache. Her hands were not to know 'hard labour' or 'sinful touch' and the only one to keep them clean was herself. They were to be the most unblemished hands in all the realm, rivalled only by a newborn child. It was a strange and rather elitist custom of the royal family, but one she would pass onto her children and grandchildren and beyond.

"Please…" she croaked. "New pair."

His lips thinned. Was he lining up new protests and arguments for her to shoot down like an archer? No matter what, she would never unglove her hands, but exhaustion was creeping in. The dwindling energy was better spent eating than squabbling.

"Very well," he said stiffly. "I will fetch you new gloves, but when I return, I hope to see your bowl empty." He stood, leaned down to kiss her crown, and whispered. "Apologies, but I may be a while." Why? What matters were so pressing in an age of peace? "Take your time, my darling queen." He drew away and the door clattered shut.

The soup had swallowed Zelda's spoon, and even she would be remiss to fish it out with silk gloves. When Fabian's steps faded down the corridor, she was safe to pull the hem from her sculpted bicep, past her scarred elbow, and off her calloused hand and stubby nails. Her naked fingers gently wriggled through the cool air. She felt more exposed than the night of her and Fabian's consummation, where the only thing she wore was her gloves. The role of the silk was to smooth out her secrets. Those of a warrior. Those of a second self.

But like Fabian had said, Hyrule was at peace. Nothing was amiss. There was no reason for the gloves to come off for anything other than retrieving a spoon from soup.

The liquid tingled her skin like the tip of a candle flame. How peculiar. In her youth, Zelda had once overheard a chef complain about the chili peppers for the winter curry burning their skin. This soup felt like Zelda imagined the chilis would, although it was not made with spicy flavours, nor did she taste any. Then again, her plague could be masking it. Perhaps Fabian had some spice added to warm her in this cold room. He was always so thoughtful.

There was a handkerchief folded in the corner of the tray. She wiped down the spoon and her orange-dipped fingers. Discarding the sullied cloth where it was before, she dipped the spoon into the dreaded soup. Bracing herself, she took a mouthful. Her toes curled at the taste. She whined through her clenched teeth as she swallowed.

When did things start tasting so bitter? The breakfast before her collapse was fine, as were the pastries at her morning tea with Fabian in the gardens. The tea itself was horrid. It tasted like the leaves had been burnt by water from the sewers.

"How is your tea, my love?" Fabian asked her.

Zelda smiled. "Divinely brewed as always." As she took another sip, she dared not flinch lest Fabian scare the poor maid again. Even the best servants were bound to make a mistake from time to time. It would be cruel to punish them for making an error as minor as burnt tea.

Another mouthful of soup singed her tongue. It was horrid. Rancid. Repulsive. She pursed her lips, screwed her eyes, and willed herself to swallow, but her throat muscles refused, and her queasy stomach swore to upchuck everything if it forced its way down. Fabian insisted that this soup would help her. Given time, it would heal her, so why was every part of her screaming to spit it out? To toss the bowl across the room? To starve rather than force down one more gulp?

This 'soothing soup' inflamed her throat, weighted her limbs, and clouded her mind after every meal. It stole her away to slumber and the effects were only at their weakest whenever she was hungry again. This soup did not nurture. It did something else. Something insidious.

The spoon clattered into the bowl, splattering the tray, the sheets, and her nightgown with more of the bitter meal.

The poisoned meal.


Minutes after rising, Wolfie was on the road. Thankfully the right one. He chewed his pickled pumpkin on the go as he consulted the map flapping against Epona's mane. Staying the path. Staying his pace. Circling every shadow cast by a rock or tree. As if some empty field would be a place to station a Twilit ambush. Aside from that, this new direction was a great improvement that might've impressed Midna if she had lowered her standards after yesterday.

Link messed up upon the first village they saw. How? Because he rode into it! He, a man of age to be in the army, swaggered through a paved street that had been stripped of people like him. Women, children, elderly, and disabled stared at this perfectly fit and healthy stranger who wasn't meant to be here! Not without a soldier's uniform, at the very least.

Furthermore, every gaping gaze he met added a touch more spring to his walk. Stupid stupid stupid wolf. This is not the kind of attention you bask in; this is what you shrink away from before whispers reached those tasked with 'fixing' anomalies like you. He might as well be banging skillets together as he yelled, "Look at me! I'm a draft dodger! Come and arrest me already!"

With all those gawking faces, Midna couldn't pop out and turn Link around. Not until things became dire and they'd have to fight their way through the soldiers that would inevitably corner them. Or maybe… maybe they'd get lucky. Maybe Mr Self-Important Hero would get his beauty sleep and be on his merry way long before any soldiers ever knew he was here. There wasn't a glint of armour aside from the blacksmith's display they passed.

At the end of the street was a stable and inn. Link handed Epona off to the stable worker along with a few rupees, then went to the counter and ordered a two-person room. That almost made Midna laugh out loud, but the innkeeper teased her gut further.

"Ooh, who are you waiting for?" the innkeeper sang suggestively.

The posture of Link's shadow seized. "No one," he said quickly. "I just… I like the extra space."

The innkeeper rolled their eyes. "Sure. I'm surprised you're willing to splurge in these hard times."

He smacked his rupees against the counter, cutting the conversation short. After the innkeeper jotted his name in the check-in book (which Midna might rip out later), they led him up the stairs to a woody room only marginally bigger than the double bed.

Link shed his gear and leaned it against the left wall. "Thanks, Miss."

"No problem," the innkeeper said, "and if I hear anyone asking for a Mr Link, I'll be sure to send them up." Their smile was devious as they closed the door. That settled it. The innkeeper was the first and only light-dweller to have a wisp of Midna's respect.

Link dropped onto the bed, groaning with the springs. Midna rose from his shadow on the sheets, hands stifling her snickers. "Do you always pretend you're getting it?"

The tips of his ears went pink. "I meant two single beds!" he exclaimed loud enough to pop the walls. "Thought you'd want one."

"Oh, how sweet of you, but I'm afraid I can't maintain this form as I sleep." He tilted his head. Midna's smirk widened as she drew closer. "Looks like you and I are sharing a bed every night, Mr Link." She 'tapped' his nose and he shook her away. If they were alone in this village, she'd cackle so high that she'd shatter the windows. Alas, they were two fugitives in a crowded settlement. It was time to leave. Link would just have to live with the wasted rupees.

"You should've never come here," she whispered. "Camping on the fields is safer."

He stared at her as if she had just declared that Hyrule was run by a secret society of lizalfos. "In what world is camping on monster-infested fields safer?"

"Yours! I swear, it's like you can't tell up from down. The longer you stay here, the sooner the army will-"

A knock on the door sent Midna into his shadow faster than she could flinch. "Open up," a masculine voice ordered. Without a hint of worry, Link rose, but he did not snatch up his gear, open the window, and climb out like any sane outlaw would. He answered the door, and what do you know? A soldier awaited him. Chestnut hair parted on the right. A curly moustache. Candlelight from the hallway traced the sheathed sword and cuffs on their belt.

"Pardon me," the soldier said. "I heard talk of a young man staying at this inn. Might I know your name?"

"It's Link, sir." Argh! Don't give that away so freely!

"Link, eh? And how old might you be?"

"Seventeen."

"Well then, seems you're just the man I'm looking for. Mind if I come in." Midna minded. Very much so. But Link? He didn't care at all. Just stepped aside, let them in, and closed the door to his own cage. Sols, how was Link more compliant with the enemy than her? How did the golden goddesses think him competent enough to carry the fate of two worlds?

"My name is Lieutenant Reed Larkson. After the ambush of the Ordonian draftees, my brother and I were sent to chase out the monsters and confirm your status."

Link scratched his neck. "Sorry. You must've missed me after I left."

"On the contrary. It seems we've met in the middle."

Mr Important Hero puffed out his chest a little. "Don't worry about Ordon. I drove out the monsters myself." Reed better laugh Link off as all talk and no action. There was absolutely no way Link was gonna tell them about his quest to thwart the light invasion.

Reed cracked a smirk. "Really? I wouldn't normally think someone so young as so capable, but that tunic…" Their fascination with Link's garb couldn't be good. Yes, the people of Hyrule revered the last hero to wear it, but in this age with this destiny, it would become a target on Link's back if any soldiers knew of it. "My brother and I are having a drink downstairs. Care to join us? I'd like to know more about your deeds."

Link, don't you dare say- "Sure." Gods-damn you! Everything this stupid hero did and said drew him further away from his quest. If he wanted the sun to return so badly so that his dingy town wouldn't die out, then why was he complying with the very army that sent the light spirits into the Twilight Realm?

Unless Link didn't know about the light invasion at all. How had she never considered that the monarchy would keep the citizens ignorant of their war crimes? In their first moment alone, Midna was going to ask Link what he knew and tell him what he didn't. That was if and only if his loose lips didn't land him in chains.

Reed and Link marched downstairs and towards a table with a pair of legs under it already. They had the uniform white slacks and brown leather boots of other soldiers. She traced that soldier's chair up the wall. In a brief turn of his head to sneeze, Midna witnessed a moustache and chestnut hair just like his brother but parted on the left. "Link," said Reed, "meet Jay Larkson, my evil twin."

Link slipped into his chair. "Woah. I've never met twins before." The Larkson twins laughed with the same pitch and gusto.

"I've never met someone with such a spiffy tunic," said Jay.

Link lounged opposite Jay with his left forearm draped on the back of his chair. "Wanna know how I got it?" Jay's head covered Link's face, but Midna could hear that cocky grin.

At the twins' eager invitation, Link told some embellished tale of his struggle against the Twili and shadowbeasts. It was a relief that he kept Midna and his wolf form a secret, but was it really necessary to describe the Twili as 'monsters' and 'invaders'? He most certainly did not cleave through every shadowbeast with a single strike, either (although that would be the way to defeat them in his human form if it came down to it). They even believed Link when he said he held the magtail's pincers apart with his bare hands as he attacked the eye with his sword in his teeth. Yeah, like he wouldn't have shredded palms after that.

"And when I restored the light to Ordona, they gave me this tunic and revealed something real interesting. Wanna know?"

"Do tell. Do tell," Reed said.

Midna couldn't see what Link's right reached for, but after some fiddling on his part, the soldiers gasped, and Link's left bracer was now clutched in his right. He had exposed his marking as the chosen hero like a complete fool!

"Jay, looks like we're winning the war!" Reed cheered.

"Keep it down," Jay hushed. "Don't get us swarmed by the public." Link, showing a rare hint of competency, slipped his bracer back on.

"So what grand destiny have you been blessed with, old boy?" Reed asked.

"I have to find a portal in the desert," Link said. "It'll take me to the enemy's world so I can bring back the other light spirits."

"Ha!" Reed exclaimed. "I knew those barbaric shadows had something to do with it." Barbaric shadows? Midna wanted to buck Reed's beer into his stupid moustache. The Twili were the barbaric ones for having their realm devastated? For wanting to defend their nation, only to be trapped underfoot of a false king?

"And you're on your way there now?" Reed asked. Link nodded. "And what about your civic duty to join the military?"

Link rubbed the nape of his neck. "Sorry. I kinda assumed the goddesses' orders overruled the draft."

"No doubt they do," said Jay, "but Prince Fabian ought to know about this. He could offer you support." No no no! Fabian was surely the one responsible for this whole mess. Midna didn't know for certain if he was the one who sent the light spirits to her realm, but he was the one building the army to march upon it. Link couldn't join the military. He just couldn't. Midna wouldn't let him.

Link nodded. "Sounds like a plan." A bad one! "When do we leave?"

"Six hours," said Reed. "I'll knock on your door when it's ten minutes to departure."

"Gotta leave early if we want to reach Castle Town and get you signed up before bed," said Jay.

"Looks like you need a good snooze too." Reed clapped his hands. "Pip pip!"

With a few final formalities, Link went upstairs to his room, yawning and rubbing his eyes the whole way. He couldn't move fast enough. If he had only ten minutes to get ready tomorrow, that meant Midna needed to tell him the truth about the light invasion tonight.

When the mattress creaked under his rear, Midna rose. "We need to talk."

He yawned as he kicked off his boots. "Can't it wait?"

"No! Ever since we came to this village, I've barely got a word in." He grunted in a way that said he was definitely not listening. "You can't join the military."

"Why not?" He removed his tunic. The chainmail glowed in the candlelight. "Sounds like a good idea."

"It's a waste of time!" And Link would be exposed to even more lies and propaganda.

"So you want me to run away now?" he asked.

Midna threw her hands in the air. "Yes!"

Another yawn tugged at him. "Epona and I are both knackered. We won't make it far without having to rest, and by then the soldiers will catch up with us. I'll be arrested for draft-dodging."

Oh, so now he cared about that. "Yes but-"

He flopped his head against the pillow and threw the covers over himself. "Sorry. It'll have to wait. If you're in that big a hurry, I could probably get on the scout team."

"But we already have a team. Us. You can't just make rash decisions like that without me." No answer. She flew to his face and snapped her fingers between his closed eyes. "Hey! Don't ignore this. Don't ignore me." Still nothing. He was already asleep.

And Midna's chance to save her realm was as safe as a criminal on the gallows.


A/N: I did not expect the 'anD thERE WAs onLy onE BEd' trope to make a cameo this early in the fic but here we are. Midlink are not even close to crushing on each other yet haha! (Gotta bait the shippers early.)

The Larkson brothers are based off the juggling brothers from 'Ocarina of Time' and 'Majora's Mask'. One has a red shirt and the other has a blue one, so that's what I based their names on: Re(e)d and (blue)Jay.

Now that Zelda suspects that her husband is poisoning her, what do you think she'll do about it?