skittles: OMG what's this! I believe it is an update! woot! hey peoples!

yami: you're retarded.

skittles: i know!

yami: do you need therapy?

skittles: no! but you do!

yami: sighs well, don't forget the disclaimer...

skittles: oh yeah! and since you so nicely volunteered...

yami: NO!

skittls: does puppydog eyes PWEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASE!

yami: FINE! skittles and twix don't own yugioh. which is a very good thing.

skittles: i suppose that will do. now! on to the ficcy!


Chapter 3: session 2: skittles and yami

The sun shown brightly upon the sleepy city of Domino. Mommies and daddies and kiddies of all size, shape, and age were climbing out of bed and getting ready for the day while the Domino police investigated the 100 plus deaths that occurred the previous night...

Domino Anger Management Center

Yami's room

9:23 am

Yami lay in his temporary bed in his temporary room in his temporary home having a pleasant temporary dream in which he was, temporarily, killing Bakura and Marik. He was quite comfortable and had no intentions of waking up anytime soon when suddenly, through the haze of sleep that surrounded him, Yami felt something heavy sitting on his chest.

Stirring slightly, the ex-pharaoh did his best to just ignore it, hoping it would go away on it's own. When it didn't, Yami peeked open an eyes and nearly had a heart attack. About one inch away from his face, a pair of tired amber eyes that could only belong to Skittles peered down at him.

"What are you doing?" Yami growled while narrowing his eyes in annoyance. Skittles yawned tiredly and laid her head down right underneath his chin.

"Waking you up," she said, yawning once again. She closed her eyes and began to drift of to sleep...while still on top of Yami.

"I'm awake now so you can get off me already," He snapped. No response.

"Hello! I'm talking to you!"

Still nothing.

"WAKE UP!"

"AAAAHHHHHH!" Skittles screamed and fell off of Yami onto the floor, her heart beating like she had just run a marathon.

From over by the door came the sound of somebody snickering delightedly. Yami sat up and tried to see who it was, but the person was behind the wall and therefore out of site. Skittles was also looking at the door, a thoughtful expression on her face. The snickering continued.

Fed up with the annoying noise, Yami crawled out of bed and went over and poked his head out the doorway. There, leaning against the wall, trying hard to hold back his laughter was Bakura. Marik wasn't there.

"Enjoying yourself, Baku-bitch?" Yami said, glaring at the ex-tomb robber.

"Oh fuck," said Bakura, "You weren't supposed to come out here."

"It was a little hard to miss the snickering. You need to learn how to be more discreet."

Bakura rolled his eyes before smirking.

"I can't believe you did the nasty with your doctor. I mean you haven't even known each other for an entire day!"

Yami felt his face heat up as he stared at Bakura in shock.

"W-what!" he screamed.

"Why else would she be laying on top of you?"

Yami gave Bakura a look.

"Do I look naked to you?"

"No."

"Does Skittles look naked to you?"

"...No."

"There you go."

"How do I know you didn't just get dressed after you did the nasty so that you don't look suspicious?"

"I DID NOT DO THE NASTY WITH SKITTLES!"

"What about doing the nasty?"

Yami and Bakura stopped arguing to look at where the voice had come from. It was Skittles. Her head was tilted to the side and she had one slender finger resting on her chin.

Yami blushed again.

"It's nothing."

Skittles looked between Yami and Bakura. She then attempted to put two and two together. Keyword: attempted.

"Did you and Bakura do the nasty together last night, Yami-chan?" she said brightly, a smile on her face.

"NO!" the two yamis screamed in unison.

"I thought you and the pharaoh did the nasty together because you were sleeping on top of him when I opened the door!" Bakura quickly explained.

"Oooooohhhhhh, that," said skittles, "I came back about 20 minutes ago and decided that Yami-chan would make a much better pillow than the one in my room."

Bakura nodded slowly.

"BBBAAAKKKUUURRRAAA! WHRE AAARREEE YYYOOOUUU?" Twix screamed from somewhere in the building. Bakura cursed in a few different languages and then took of down the hall in the direction of the voice.

Yami and Skittles stood there for a little while longer.

"Well," said Skittles, "we should get started. Follow me." She began walking off in the opposite direction Bakura had run off in with Yami following silently along behind her.

In Skittles's therapy room...

Yami sat on the large comfy couch as Skittles sat across from him in a comfy looking armchair. She had her clipboard sitting in her lap and was scribbling away on it. Finally, after about ten minutes of nothing but sitting, Yami got bored and decided he wanted to set the couch on fire. So he did.

Skittles looked as the smell of smoke reached her nose. Her eyes widened when she saw that her brand new three thousand dollar and two centcouch was being burned to ashes while her patient watched in fascination.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" she screamed. Yami looked over at her.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked, "I'm burning your couch because I'm bored."

"THAT COUCH COST ME THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS AND 2 CENTS AND NOW IT'S BURNING INTO A PILE OF ASH ALL BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SIT STILL FOR TEN MINUTES!"

"Basically."

Skittles sighed and started massaging her temples. Ok she thought just stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. After a few minutes of chanting this mantra over and over again in her head, skittles looked over at the smoldering pile of ash that had once been a three thousand dollarand two cent couch. She then looked over at Yami, who seemed very disappointed that the fire had gone out.

Walking over to her desk, the teen pulled out a bucket of seaweed and a few posters. One with Bakura's face on it, one with Marik's face on it, and one with Tea's face on it. She pinned the three posters up on the wall and handed Yami the bucket of seaweed.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" He asked.

"This is the seaweed throwing exercise. What I do, is I put up a few poster of people I know you hate and then I have you throw seaweed at them."

"You're not up there." Yami slapped his hand over his mouth and bit his tongue. Skittles blinked, feeling a twinge of pain on her heart at those words, but she quickly brushed it off and smiled.

"I'm your doctor," She said, "You're not supposed to throw seaweed at me. Yami just nodded absently. He then picked up a clump of seaweed and through it right at Bakura's nose. This made him smile a bit.

I kind of like this exercise, even if it does seem kind of weird.

By the time he was half way through the bucket, he and skittles were laughing and the young doctor had even joined in with her own bucket of seaweed. All to soon for Yami, he ran out of seaweed and the exercise ended.

"Now," said skittles, "how about we try some inkblots?"

"Ok."

Skittles once again went over to her desk and pulled out a pile of papers, obviously the inkblots. She sat down in the armchair as Yami sat down on the floor. (skittles: if you remember, he burnt the couch) Skittles held up the first inkblot.

"What do you see?"

"A heard of buffalos."

Skittles scribbled something down on her clipboard and then held up another inkblot.

"What do you see now?"

" A dinosaur devouring Bakura's ass."

Skittles gave him a look.

"I'm serious!" Yami cried defensively. Skittles shrugged and scribbled something down on her clipboard.

They continued with inkblots for three hours. By this time, both doctor and patient were getting bored. Skittles held up the third to last inkblot.

"What do you see this time?" she asked, her voice sounding rather weary.

"You," yami answered, not really looking at the inkblot. He blushed when he realized what exactly he had said and then focused on the inkblot. Skittles's breathcaught in her throat, but she tried her best not to let it show that she was embarrassed by the sudden comment. She put the inkblot down in the finished pile and moved on to the next one.

"What do you see in this one?"

"...The evil butterflies of doom."

Skittles gave him a weird look.

"Um...rrriiiggghhhttt..." She held up the last inkblot and said, "What about this one?"

Yami studied the inkblot for a few seconds.

"Hm...Diabound."

Skittles gave Yami a "what the fuck" look and looked at the inkblot herself. After a few minutes she frowned and placed the annoying piece of paper on the finished pile.

"So," said Yami, looking around the room with a bored expression on his face, "What do we do now?"

"Um...I'm not sure."

"But...but you're the doctor. Aren't you the supposed to know a hole bunch of excerisises to help me with my 'problem'!"

"Well, a lot of the exercises I have won't work on you because you have shadow magic."

"What does that have to do with it?"

"What, you think only crazy three thousand year old spirits are aloud to have magic?"

"So you have magic?"

"Yes."

"Are you gonna tell me what kind of magic you have?"

"Nope!"

Skittles hopped up from her armchair and headed towards the door.

"Hey!" Yami yelled, "Where are you going?"

"To feed my knew pet, Shade. Don't burn anything or else I will rip out your heart and eat it for lunch."

Yami gulped nervously. She's kidding, right? He thought She has got to be joking. Before he could say anything else, Skittles had already left, closing and locking the door behind her.

"Aw fuck! Now I'm stuck here with nothing to do."

Three hours later...

Looking at the clock on wall, Yami observed that it was 2:38 pm and that Skittles had been gone for a LONG time. Throughout these three hours, Yami had been stuck in the room with nothing to do other than stare at the wall. Oh wasn't that exciting.

Suddenly, Yami got an idea. Why didn't I think of this before? He could still contact Yugi through the mind link. Maybe, he could convince his hikari to come and get him. It was only the first day and already he was scared shitless of the supposed doctors. Though Skittles so far had been amazingly sober. He guessed it had something to do with the lack of sleep. But anyway, back to contacting Yugi.

/Yugi/

/Yami! How are you/

/I'd like to come home now./

/Sorry, but you can't. I paid for a month of therapy and I will not have you wasting my hard earned (skittles: coughallowancecough) money/

/But I haven't learned anything except that my doctor is retarded and seaweed is very fun to throw at pictures of peoples heads/

/Well, it's only the first day./

/Aibou/

/I'm sorry Yami but maybe if you could just be a little more tolerable.../

/But I-/

/No buts Yami! You're staying there for the entire month whether you like it or not/

And with that Yugi closed his side of the link.

Yami sighed and lay back on the ground, wandering where the hell Skittles was. Suddenly, the door banged open and in walked Skittles herself, but now she was holding something black and furry in her arms. Yami sat up and stared at the creature. It was about the size of a cat with spikes running from the top of its head to the end of its tail and it had eerie dark, black eyes. It also had a patch of white fur on its forehead shaped like the eye of Horus. Other than these strange features, it looked just like a normal cat. It even meowed like a cat.

"What the hell is that?" Yami asked. Skittles smiled brightly. She held the creature out for Yami to see.

"It's a shadow creature!" She happily exclaimed, "Her name is Shade." Yami just shook his head. Skittles had to be the only person in the world who would name and keep a Shadow creature as a pet. Then he shuddered. I wander what it eats...

(skittles: coughinternalorganscough)

"Isn't she just sooooooooooo cute?" Skittles said, holding Shade out towards Yami. The shadow creature tilted its head to the side in a cute fashion. Yami blinked. Of all the things he had expected, that was not it. He had been expecting the creature to attempt to rip him to shreds. Yami cautiously reached out a hand and started scratching Shade behind the ear.

Suddenly, Shade let out a terrifying hiss and jumped on Yami's head, sinking her claws into his scalp.

"OMYFUCKINRA!" he screamed. Skittles stared. Now that was new. Shade usually went for the person's internal organs, not they're brains. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Yami was so short...

Meanwhile, said pharaoh was running around the room screaming like a little girl and trying to pry the hungry shadow creature off of his head. Shade however did not seem to want to let go. Every time Yami tried to get her to let go, she just seemed to hold on tighter.

Finally, Skittles decided that she should intervene and, as Yami ran past, grabbed the shadow creature off his head. She then began to pet Shade as she walked out the door of her therapy room, muttering promises of yummy yummy internal organs and something aboutsomebody's feet.

Yami stopped running around the room and slowly put a hand to the top of his head where one set of claws had been. He felt something wet. Pulling his hand away and putting it in front of his face he saw that it was blood. He then proceeded to pass out in the middle of the floor.

And so ends this wonderful session of therapy.


skittles: i just luv destroying peoples sanity!

yami: sweatdrop i can tell. am i going to die?

skittles: of course not baka. you have to live so that you can be in the rest of the fic and the other arcs.

yami: i forgot about those...

skittles: how could you forget the day you get to become a daddy!

yami: OO

skittles: anyway, please review! if you don't i'll sick shade the shadow creature on you!