Twix: Hey All! It's been a while since I worked on this story… I've been on like, 4 vacations… Sowwy! ;.;
Mokuba: I can't believe you left me all alone! And you're leaving me in October to go to Japan too! TT.TT cry (Twix: its true! I'm going to Japan for an exchange program in October:D YAAAY!)
Twix: Oh JEEZ! I left Skittles alone too! At least you've got her and Seto and Yami!
Mokuba: … is that supposed to be comforting?
Twix: anyway, do the disclaimer.
Mokuba: but WHY!
Twix: cuz I said. And if you don't, I'll tell Seto-kun that you've been hanging out with me and Skittles.
Mokuba: -0.0- AUUUUGH! NO! OKOK I'LL DO IT!
Twix: good boy.
Mokuba: you're so mean… leaving me and then making me do the disclaimer! ;.; …Did you dye your hair? It looks nice-
Twix: why yes I did, thank you, see, its all chestnut and red and pretty and-wait, what? …MOKU-CHAN!
Mokuba: humph… Skittles and Twix don't own YuGiOh!... if they did, they would be huge, main, awesome charries, I would be older and Twix would be dating me and Ryou, Bakura, Yami, Yugi, Marik and Malik would all have some weird octagon relationship of sorts… Therefore, praise the gods, they don't own it.
Twix: sigh… whatever… that works. Fear my 'didn't-get-enuff-sleep-last-night' form! Onward, my friends!
.".".".".".".".".
Key: blah blah blah Bakura's thoughts
Chapter 4: session 3: Twix and Bakura
.".".".".".".".".
The sun shown brightly upon the sleepy city of Domino. Mommies and daddies and kiddies of all size, shape, and age were climbing out of bed and getting ready for the day while the Domino police investigated the 100 plus deaths that occurred the previous night...
Domino Anger Management Center
Bakura's room
9:10 A.M.
Bakura woke unpleasantly to the unpleasant sound of his unpleasant doctor banging unpleasant pans together and shouting unpleasant words, thus, unpleasantly waking him up (and interrupting an unpleasant dream in which Yami was unpleasantly trying to kill Marik and the white-haired yami himself) at an EXTREMELY unpleasant hour of the day.
Bakura frowned in his half-sleep, turned onto his stomach and pulled the blanket over his head. He remained in that position until the protection was ripped from his body by a certain emerald-eyed doctor.
"Wake up, bastardo! (1)" Twix demanded, hitting the currently defenseless Bakura violently over the head with his own pillow.
"Skittles and I hardly got any sleep last night 'cuz Tea 'kept bugging us! Today with be HELL-ON-EARTH!"
Twix beat Bakura especially hard when she shouted the last three words.
"Oh, I reeeaally want to get up NOW…." Bakura mumbled sarcastically. Slowly uncurling himself from his previous cat-like position while Twix shouted at him, Bakura then rolled onto the itchy gray rug-coated floor.
Lying there on the ground, Twix's obnoxious cries pounded in his ears. Lazily getting up from the floor, he opened his blood-shot eyes and stared- hard -into the face of his crazed doctor.
"You really need to just shut the hell up." He growled.
Twix glared right back. In fact, she barely even flinched when he snarled threateningly in warning. Bakura came up with the conclusion that she was really, realy, really, really really really really really really really really REALLY annoying.
What is WRONG with this girl! Bakura thought in anguish. "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!" he shouted directly into Twix's face.
Twix just stood there in silence until…
KA-WHAP!
Bakura got a face full of frying pan. (if you remember, Twix was using them to wake him up.)
"HOW'DYA LIKE THAT FOR BREAKFAST, HUH, TOUGH GUY!"
Bakura was on the ground again, checking to see if all his precious fangs were in place while Twix screamed at him in frustration. Bakura looked up at her just in time to see her coming at him again with the frying pans.
Screaming like he never had before, the thief scrambled up from the ground and sprinted out the door, jacket-less and shirt-less. (yes, Kura-chan sleeps without a shirt!)
Before going after her patient, Twix picked up Bakura's missing attire from the floor, inhaled its scent (which smelled uncannily like blood, raw meat and burnt microwave metal) then kissed it and proceeded to hunt down the wild and frightened yami.
Later…
It took the two about an hour and a half to get situated as normally as they could in Twix's rather large office. That hour and a half included an amazing amount of kicking, punching, screaming, rude hand gestures, hiding, chakra, shadow magic, dragging down halls, rug-burns and overall, LOADS of extremely graphic violence.
And, strangely enough, Bakura had come out with the worse injuries from the fight.
The exhausted thief lay back in his chair, sporting a swelling bite-mark on his forehead, claw-like scratches on this bare chest, ripped pants, a bitten-off chunk of his hair and you could see bruises beginning to form on his back.
It was, overall, a strangely gory sight.
Twix just sat there, smiling a bit as she licked a trickle of blood that traveled down her cheek which came out of the sole scratch she had received from Bakura.
"You… Have issues…" were Bakura's first words of the session. Twix grabbed her clipboard and wrote something down. While she was writing, she threw Bakura's shirt and jacket at him without glancing up once.
"…errrr…" Bakura sweatdropped.
Twix sighed in exasperation.
"Do you need help dressing yourself, Baku-baby?"
Bakura blushed. "n-no!" quickly, he pulled his shirt over his head.
"It's on backwards." Twix said, still not looking up.
"IS NOT!" Bakura fumed.
Making sure his doctor was still preoccupied with writing, he hurriedly fixed his backwards shirt.
"uuuuuuu-KAY!" Twix chirped, putting the clipboard on her lap. Bakura blinked.
"before we go into the major stuff, let's start you out today with 5 inkblots, another exercise and then we'll take a small break. How's that sound?"
Why the heck is she all happy now! She was totally pissed until a minute ago! Mood swings? PMS! Bakura swallowed "Whatever, let's just get this over with." He straightened up and rolled his eyes.
Twix frowned and stuck her tongue out in a very Marik-like way. 2
Bakura's eyes widened in surprise. "I swear… you stole Marik's tongue or something!"
It was Twix's turn to roll her eyes. "Whatever, weirdo."
Mood swings again!
"Ok… first inkblot. What do you see?" the doctor said, pulling inkblots out of nowhere.
She held up an inkblot.
Bakura stared at it. What did he see? I'm sure you're expecting something like…. A grave, a scythe, a bazooka or some machine guns… but… what he saw was…
"…Galactic pie." 3
silence.
Twix blinked. "what?"
"I said 'Galactic pie!'"
Twix looked at the first inkblot curiously, licked her lips and tossed it aside, proceeding to write something down on her clipboard.
"Ok, onward."
Flip
"an orange kitty with its head cut open."
"now that's the Bakura I know…" scribble
flip
"Marik's tongue."
Scribble "y'know, have you made out with Marik lately or something? You seemed obsessed with his tongue," Twix unexpectedly inquired.
"WHAT! NO! Why is everyone accusing me of being gay or something!" Bakura shouted in frustration and he yanked on his white hair.
Twix made a suspicious face but went on nonetheless.
Flip
"a juice box."
Silence. Scribble.
"last one."
Flip.
"uh… Saddam Hussen?"
scribble…
Twix began repeatedly hitting herself in the head with her clipboard.
Bakura sweatdropped again.
"'kay…" the therapist mumbled, looking up. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but was interrupted by a loud 'BANG' coming from behind a wall with a pirate flag pinned on it. 4
"erm… what's that?" Bakura asked.
BANG
"I think its safe to assume that its Shade." Twix replied.
BANG
"um…. What?"
BANG
"Skittles' pet shadow creature. It saved us from Tea last night but it has a nasty temper. I guess she keeps him in the closet by my office…."
KA-BAM
The wall both doctor and patient were staring at began to crack.
"EEYAH!" Bakura squealed. Twix thought he sounded a lot like a girl. 'must've gotten it from Ryou…' she considered.
KALAZABAM!
A small portion of the wall split open and Shade-the-shadow-creature could be seen through the hole which it seemed to be trying to make bigger.
Bakura shot out of his chair and screamed again.
"WHAT IN THE SEVEN HELLS IS THAT THING! ITS TOO CUTE TO BE A SHADOW CREATURE!"
Twix jumped up and yelled in Bakura's ear as loud as she could. "BAKURA, YOU GAY-BALL! (5) DO SOME SHADOW MAGIC!"
Shade gnawed at the wall.
Bakura concentrated.
Twix bit her clipboard.
"BEGONE SHADOW CREATURE!" Bakura dramatically threw his hands out and waited for the magic to take place.
…
Nothing.
"…eh! Its magic is too powerful for mine to beat it!" (a/n: meaning Shade is pretty damn powerful!)
"Bakura?"
"Yes, doctor?"
"I hate you."
"sure."
"Have fun! I'll be right back." Twix patted Bakura's shoulder encouragingly and disappeared.
"No wait! Don't leave me-"
But his doctor had abandoned him. He sighed and turned back to Shade.
The black cat looking creature growled menacingly at the thief while chewing and scratching the wall some more.
"Okay…" Bakura took a deep breath and sped over to Twix's drawers.
Luckily for him, she kept a good, large supply of what he was looking for and found it right away.
"Awright kitty," Bakura drawled. Shade stared at the albino yami, almost with a mocking look in its eyes. Bakura ignored that and went on.
"Your shadow magic may be too powerful for me… but can you stand… The wrath…of…DUCT TAPE!" he gave a major, special, super-evil laugh for effect.
"That's right cat! Duct tape!" Without another thought, Bakura pulled his best 'I am freaking possessed' face and lunged at the wall with the heavy silver tape in hand.
Shade hissed and spat angrily as Bakura began to coat Shade in layers of sticky duct tape. The black animal clawed at anything it could reach, which was mainly Bakura's hands until the thief taped those up too.
Bakura continued to cackle as he pushed Shade back through the hole, taped it up so much that he ran out of the tape.
Chuckling contently, he went back and sat in his chair."
He sighed. Sad. I might've liked it… if it wanted to eat Tea or Yugi… and not me.
Looking at his hands, he realized they had a great amount of blood on them. Smiling happily, he began to lick them.
He kept sucking on them until Twix came back, wearing an extremely authentic Naruto-looking headband.
"SHADOW MAGIC JUTSU!" she screamed enthusiastically.
Bakura stared at her as she stood in an awkward position while facing the duct-tape covered wall.
"Vat de 'ell are joo doink?" Bakura asked. Twix straighented up and said, "come again?"
Bakura took his hand out of his mouth. "What the hell are you doing?"
Twix placed her hands on her very Puerto-Rican style hips. (Twix is half Puerto-Rican.) Her face was slightly red but she had a triumphant smile on her face.
"ahem. Cosplay of course, my friend! Cosplay and practicing my ninja training! I just haven't mastered the shadow magic jutsu yet." She chuckled nervously and scratched the back of her head.
Bakura laughed like a maniac, which resulted in a very skilled round-house kick to the head, compliments of Twix.
"So, what happened to Shade anyway?" She asked, sitting down and grabbing her clipboard.
After Bakura regained his dignity and composure, he replied, "I…sorta…well, let's say I used up your duct tape."
"…oh."
Twix wrote something down.
"Let's go to the futon." Twix stood up and led Bakura over to a corner where a large futon, large chair and large fish tank were situated.
"Alright, Kura-chan-"
"shut up, bitch."
"Alright, Kura-chan, lay down."
Bakura grumbled, but did as he was told so he wouldn't get beat up again. Being defeated by a girl-especially a mere mortal girl- was something he swore on his life that neither Yami or Marik would ever, EVER hear of. He would make sure of it.
Twix interrupted his mental promise.
"Tell me all your problems."
The thief glared at his doctor, who he realized looked triple obnoxious with a chibi smile and Naruto headband, but laid his head back and began.
"I feel…like no one understands me…especially my hikari. And I always feel like I'm competing with Yami and Marik… I mean, Yami-chan's always so perfect and Marik's ass is way better than mine, but at least I know hoe to show mine off! Why doesn't he ever wear leather? I mean, he's just so-"
Bakura stopped and realized just about everything he said made him sound extremely gay. Twix didn't seem to mind though because she was scribbling away madly and tears were glistening in her eyes. Bakura wondered what his doctor was writing about him, but looked over at the shark tank instead.
Shark tank?
Those weren't fish in the tank… but sharks. Not big sharks, like the great white or anything, but instead about 3 and a half feet and deadly looking. How strange…. Bakura shook his head and turned back to watch Twix.
A few moments passed before Bakura's curiosity couldn't hold it in anymore.
"What'cha writing?" he blurted out.
"n-nothing!"
Bakura used shadow magic to lift the clipboard out of Twix's hands and she screamed. "Kura! No!"
But Bakura's eyes were quick and they scanned the paper before his doctor could make a grab for it.
His face paled and his jaw dropped.
"I WOULD NEVER MAKE OUT WITH MARIK! …AND WHY AM I UKE!" he screeched, gripping the clipboard and digging his nails deep into the wood.
Twix yelled and seized the clipboard from Bakura and pulled it close to her chest. "SHUT UP!"
The shocked yami hyperventilated a bit before saying, "…ok…ok…I get it… Fangirl stuff…alright then…." (a/n: yes, I am a psychoshipper. squeals)
Twix took a few deep breaths and massaged her temples. "…I'm iiiin my happy plaaace… with lots of pretty evil bunnies…yes, hello bunnies…mmm…and strawberry milk… and ramen… mm…Teen Titans…manga…anime….ah….the perfect sketchpad… EEEYAAH!" Bakura jumped a little as Twix rambled on.
"…and…the best… Yamishipping fic EVER!" she did a fangirl squeal and her eyes began to sparkle and tear up. Her lip quivered. "HAPPY PLACE!" she shrieked.
Bakura slapped her.
"Thanks," She blushed and rubbed her cheek. "Y'know, I have a great exercise for you." She chimed, changing the subject completely.
"I'll be right back." Twix got up and hurried out of the room, her chocolate-brown-red-streaked hair fluttering behind her.
Later…
Twix had been gone a long time and Bakura was bored and when Bakura was bored he drove himself to extremes…on purpose.
So far he had already eaten most of the mini-fridge's contents, folded origami paper into inappropriate designs, used his socks as puppets for entertainment and eaten all of the shark's pet food.
Now he was currently trying to grab a shark out of the tank so he could hang it in his room for decoration. It wasn't going too well.
"come ON…stupid sharky…"
It wasn't long before the theif got violently bit on his already maimed hands.
Pulling his arm out of the water, he stared at it, shrugged and began to lick it happily.
This will be a tasty month of therapy indeed, he thought.
Then he blacked out.
A few moments later...
Twix came back with a first aid kit and the excersise, only to find her patient unconscious.
She panicked and dropped everything. Ryou was going to kill her, no matter how nice he always acted.
Twix continued to freak out until she saw the empty shark food can on the ground.
Picking it up, she read the label aloud.
"…Shark Nummies: not to be consumed by dogs, cats, humans, or psychotic yamis with white hair and cravings for blood."
The doctor rolled her eyes, sighed, then proceeded to open the first aid kit.
.".".".".".".".".
1 bastardo...bastard in spanish
2 Twix with a Marik tongue... It's true. My tongue is pointy and looks like Marik's! Skittles and I like to joke about this alot
3 galactic pie... something my little sister and I thought up while making joke about 'I like pie' its very common for me to mention it nowadays... and also something Skittles and I sing about.
4 pirate flag... I got a pirate flag from my trip to Florida. Its on the wall of my room
5 gay-ball... something Skittles and I came up with in seventh grade when I accidentally burst out: "HOLY FRUIT-NUTS!" which is another way to say 'Gay Ball' which Skittles kept saying over and over laugh
Twix: Sorry it took me so long to update the story… I had to do it while my parents weren't home, which was usually only early in the mornings and I had lots of other stuff to do before school starts next week…
Mokuba: awww. Laughs I don't have to go to school! I'm a GENIUS!
Twix: ;.; DARN YOU MOKU-CHAN!
Mokuba: laughs evilly...wait, please don't cry!
Twix: anyway, make me and skittles feel better about the school year and review! PLEASE! IM BEGGING YOU! Begins to cry
Mokuba: inches away from Twix S…Sayonara!
