All the boys voices cracking

Oh the moaning half tones

Come summertime

We're all the same age, here

All the tension and the terror

Thin limbed gorgeous green eyes smiling

And I'm going straight to hell

All the possibility and promise just

Weighs on me so heavily

And I try but I'm not convincing

Your lips they pout and twist

And I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you

You take in everything with a certainty I envy

It's somehow all I need just keep me guessing please

Oh darling all of these awkward jumpstart stalling conversations

Mean much more to me than anything

So it comes down to me and you

And whether we're supposed to or not

We still will

We're so much better off than them

All the possibility and promise just

Weighs on me so heavily

And I try but I'm not convincing

Your lips they pout and twist

And I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you

You take in everything with a certainty I envy

It's somehow all I need just keep me guessing please

A look

A laugh

A smile

A second

Passes by and I regret it

Words just aren't right

Sometimes I can t explain

All the ways you devastate me

Always on my mind

I try but I'm not convincing

Your lips they pout and twist

And I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you

You take in everything with a certainty I envy

It's somehow all I need just keep me guessing please

Try but I'm not convincing

Your lips they pout and twist

And I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you

You take in everything with a certainty I envy

It's somehow all I need just keep me guessing please!

The tension and the terror by straylight run

"Why?"

"Why, Querida? Because you deserve better, you deserve better than me, some dead cowboy/pirate." It hurt so much to say these things, not because my heart was being ripped out of my chest and being stomped on, but because it reminded me of our first meeting. She had called me a vaquero, and I had, how would Susannah say it, flipped. Yes, but, now, I would give anything to hear mi querida say anything.

"Did I not already explain this to you in the graveyard? I don't deserve, need or want anyone but you!"

"But, you could have anyone, you could have Slater, any other boy at your school. You know, you may not think this yourself, but you are extremely beautiful, querida." Mi Dios! Did I just say that? I know she's beautiful, and so does every other man, but I have never been so forward, well, maybe except for the time she exorcised herself for me, but that was different. No, don't you go laughing at me. Wait, who am I talking to? I'm beginning to sound like Susannah!

"You think I'm beautiful, Jesse?"

I was saved from having to answer that when the sheriff came into the room. Gracias, dios, gracias! ( A/N: tis so hard to try and think up all these little things in Spanish, when I take French, I keep on wanting to write merci and vache and all that schtuff.)

We explained everything we could to the sheriff. Susannah told him she saw a man going into my room and had come to see what was going on, when she saw the gun and helped me out. And so, with little else to do, I had a proposition.

"Querida?"

"Hmmm, Jesse?"

"Uuhh, this is rather awkward to ask, but if you don't have anything better to do while in 1850 California…. Would you like to come home with me?"

(a/n: haha, I could be oh so awful, and just end it here, but I might just be nice due to my very late update)

"You really mean it? You want me to meet your family? Your mother, your sisters, your father, your ranch? Wow... of course! Unless of course you were just saying that to be nice, and you don't really want me to come. In that case I would just hang around here, but if you really want me to co-" I had to shut her up somehow! (haha clue!) and I know what your thinking, and I didn't shut her up THAT way.

"Susannah! Susannah, you're babbling. I only got bits and pieces, but I think it was a yes." And, so, we set off, but I had to take care of a few things first. Susannah had come back in her regular clothes, and she really couldn't meet my family in that. So, we took a stop off at the local market, to get a dress for her. After Susannah indignantly asking me what was wrong with her clothes, she finally consented. I have my ways. NO, not those ways, I just promised her I'd try to get one with as small of a hoop-skirt as possible, I knew how she felt about them. Finally, Susannah found one that fit her tastes. When she came out of the dressing room, I gasped.

"Do you- do you think its ok?"

I couldn't believe this woman! The dress looked absolutely beautiful on her. It was emerald green, the same color as her eyes, and it showed all of the good, wonderful things about mi querida. The square neckline, the way it came in at the waist, the lack of hoops… well, that was what Susannah liked about it, and I did too. It was just her, no frills, no lace, it was Susannah in her natural beauty. (A/N: AAAHHHH! Can you tell I'm a girl, and therefore like clothes? And, also the fact I can't write male parts for shiznit…)

After getting Susannah's dress, we set off, Susannah riding one of my spare horses, while I rode my own. As we approached my house, she began to quiz me on my family.

"What are your sisters' names?" "What is your mother's name?" "What is your father's name?" I explained about my sisters, there is Angela, the oldest at 16, then there was Esperanza, 14, Magdalena, 10, Josefina, 6, and then Isabelle, 3. "My mother's name is Beatríz, and my father's name is Ricardo. Mi abuela lives with us also, and her name is Juana."

"That is one large family, and I thought my family was huge."

I told her about the ranch, and how my favorite sister was Isabelle because she's the cutest. But, by then we had reached my ranch, and it was time to make introductions. When my sisters saw me riding up, Magdalena, Josefina and Isabelle all came running out, asking hundreds of questions, and not seeming to stop for breaths.

"Jesse! Jesse! You're home!" "What are you doing here, what about the wedding?" "Who's the girl? She's pretty!" "Jesse! One of the cows had a calf!" and on and on and on and… well, you know. "Calm down, calm down! Come inside and let me talk to mother and father and I will explain everything."

Inside, my parents were equally interested in my return, but, initially, it was not a good interested.

"Hector! How dare you shame us and back out of your wedding, and return home, with another girl, who is she Hector, and where is Maria?"

"Excuse me, I'm very sorry to interrupt, but I feel there is an explanation in order. I have never met your son before last night, when he was almost murdered in his sleep." Susannah stepped in, never the one to allow injustice. Dios, she dated Micahel Meducci just to keep him safe. And then he tried to kill her family, but that's another story, another book. (an:hehe!!!)

"Is this true, Jesse? Were you hurt? Who was it? Were they captured?"

"No, I was not hurt, thanks to Susannah, it was Felix Diego, and yes, we had him arrested, and that is why I am home, and not getting married to the secret lover of who tried to kill me."

"Well, Susannah, I believe we owe you an apology, and hopefully you will agree to stay with us for a while, for we owe you so much, for saving our son." Susannah accepted, and I was glad she wasn't going away so quickly. And then, Mama called in my sisters, and things got really interesting. "Angela, Esperanza, Magdalena, Josefina, and Isabelle, I would like for you to meet Susannah-"

"Simon, Mama, Susannah Simon."

"Yes, Susannah Simon, a friend of your brother's. I hope Jesse has been very nice and has not made you regret your actions, miss Simon."

Suze's POV

All the boys voices cracking

Oh the moaning half tones

Come summertime

We're all the same age, here

All the tension and the terror

Thin limbed gorgeous green eyes smiling

And I'm going straight to hell

All the possibility and promise just

Weighs on me so heavily

And I try but I'm not convincing

Your lips they pout and twist

And I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you

You take in everything with a certainty I envy

It's somehow all I need just keep me guessing please

Oh darling all of these awkward jumpstart stalling conversations

Mean much more to me than anything

So it comes down to me and you

And whether we're supposed to or not

We still will

We're so much better off than them

All the possibility and promise just

Weighs on me so heavily

And I try but I'm not convincing

Your lips they pout and twist

And I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you

You take in everything with a certainty I envy

It's somehow all I need just keep me guessing please

A look

A laugh

A smile

A second

Passes by and I regret it

Words just aren't right

Sometimes I can t explain

All the ways you devastate me

Always on my mind

I try but I'm not convincing

Your lips they pout and twist

And I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you

You take in everything with a certainty I envy

It's somehow all I need just keep me guessing please

Try but I'm not convincing

Your lips they pout and twist

And I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you

You take in everything with a certainty I envy

It's somehow all I need just keep me guessing please!

The tension and the terror by straylight run

"Angela, Esperanza, Magdalena, Josefina, and Isabelle, I would like for you to meet Susannah-"

"Simon, Mama, Susannah Simon."

"Yes, Susannah Simon, a friend of your brother's. I hope Jesse has been very nice and has not made you regret your actions, miss Simon."

Angela (pronounced Anhela, and Josefina is pronounced hosefina) was a very pretty girl, one of those girls who you always hate because they don't even try to be pretty. Esperanza was much the same, and Magdalena, Josefina and Isabelle were very cute, and from the way Isabelle stared at me from behind her brother's leg, I could tell why she was Jesse's favorite. They all stared at me like I was some alien object, before Isabelle came and tugged on my skirt.

"Hello, Susannah, you're much prettier than Maria, I'm glad Jesse likes you."

"Well, hello Isabelle. Thank you, but I don't think I know anyone named Maria, but I'm glad all the same you think I'm prettier than her. But, between you and me, I think you are the prettiest of all." I whispered the last part, and picked Isabelle up. She was just like one of those porcelain dolls, so cute, but I don't think she was as delicate. I think she and I have very much the same spirit. She didn't squirm when I picked her up, and then I began to laugh. This family was so much the opposite of my own, and so I told them.

"In my family, there are three boys, I'm the only girl, very different from this family, although I think I deserve more pity than Jesse, him having to live with so many beautiful women!"

"Where is your family, Susannah?" Mrs. de Silva asked.

"Oooh, my family doesn't live anywhere near here, they all live in New York, the land of smog and dirt, but it is my home, and I love it all the same. I live there with my mother, and my step father and brothers. My father, Peter Simon, died when I was nine, from a heart attack. I tell you, getting used to living with a 19, 16, and 9 year old brother is hard."

"I'm very sorry about your father, Susannah. But, in a lighter mood, knowing Jesse, you haven't had anything to eat since this morning, have you?" Seeing the guilty look on both Jesse and my faces, she said, "well, we were just getting ready to eat when you surprised us. How about you come and help me, Susannah, and you, Jesse, can go and get Abuela, and explain everything."

In the dining room, I helped Mrs. de Silva set the table. "So, what brings you to Carmel all alone, Susannah?"

"Well, Mrs. de Silva, I came out to visit an old family friend, Father Dominic. He lives at the mission out in Carmel, and so I was staying at the boarding house. I was not supposed to stay so very long, but the man who drove me from the train station was not a very honorable man, and rode off with my luggage as I disembarked. So, I have been living on the very generous offerings of father Dom, with only the clothes on my back and my small amount of money in my purse for essentials. Oh, I'm, very sorry, I shouldn't be weighing you down with my sad story."

"Nonsense, you have suffered a great deal. And please, call me Beatriz."

"Beatriz, that is a very pretty name. Thank you very much for your hospitality."

"Well, we owe you a great deal for saving our son. You did a very brave thing, Susannah, Felix Diego is not a moral man, and he would not have had any qualms about killing you.'

"I didn't do anything great, I think Jesse would have done all right had Felix not had a gun. And I guessed as much about his character from the fact that he waited until Jesse was asleep to kill him." And the fact that he had previously thrown me off the roof of my house, but I didn't mention that. "And all I did was kick him in the head, and, if you do not remember, Beatriz, I was born in New York, not meaning any disrespect."

"Of course. New York must be a very scary place. But, what I will tell you, is that I can be very scary on my own, and if you do anything to hurt my son, you will seriously regret it."

WHOA! What happened to nice Mrs. de Silva? Ok, I'll bite. "I do not intend to hurt your son, he is a very nice person, and I owe him more than you would ever know, he saved me more than I did. And I can never repay you, or him for the kindness you have shown me."

Everybody in this place

Get up and move away

For all I care this towns already dead and empty

I'm told that I'm the victim of obsession

That's what my friends say oh I'm a fool

For having ever let her tempt me

Well I turn pale

When she walks by

I am lost in her eyes

She is always on my mind

She is always on my mind

She glances over

But she keeps on walking down that street

All I can do is hope

That she is thinking of me

If I could blink if I could breathe

If I could get my legs to move

Well this could be the day I get this girl to love me

Well I turn pale

When she walks by

I am lost in her eyes

She is always on my mind

She is always on my mind

She had turned from a sound

Well I must have cried out loud

She is always on my mind

She is always on my mind

If I could blink if I could breathe

If I could get my legs to move

Well this could be the day I get this girl to love me

Well I turn pale

When she walks by

I am lost in her eyes

She is always on my mind

She is always on my mind

She had turned from a sound

Well I must have cried out loud

She is always on my mind

She is always on my mind

"Always on my mind" by Phantom Planet!! (Best group ever, after the Beatles, of course)

Jesse's POV:

"I do not intend to hurt your son, he is a very nice person, and I owe him more than you would ever know, he saved me more than I did. And I can never repay you, or him for the kindness you have shown me."

I heard my mother and Susannah talking as they bustled around the dining room, setting the table and getting drinks. When I heard Susannah say that, I recognized the hidden meaning in those words. She thinks that I saved her, and I guess I did. The angels, Heather, Marcus Beaumont. But does she realize how much she did for me? She made me feel alive. She DIED for me. And I can never repay her for that. I entered the kitchen, and when Susannah looked up and saw me, I saw a certain gleam in her eyes. It was different from anything I have ever seen. It was a mix of one I have seen so many times, one of true happiness. The other was one I saw in my mother's eyes, in Susannah's mother's eyes. One of love. Did she really love me? I know she said it before, but I could not allow myself to think she was telling the truth. But, now I knew and it was the best feeling ever.

"So, mama, have you been making Susannah regret saving my life with horrible stories about me?"

"No, I have not, but I wish I had thought of it. I have been learning about Susannah's life in New York, and the very sad story of how she came to be at the boarding house." I saw the very scary look Susannah shot at me before I opened my mouth to ask, and I resolved to ask her later. "She is a very nice girl, Jesse. We are very lucky you are not a ghost right now. Think of all the poor people who would have tried to stay in a room with a very volatile ghost sharing it with them."

Susannah laughed, and I held back my laughter at the fact that in some alternate universe I was a ghost, and Susannah was a poor person trying to live in that room. "Well, I don't know, Beatriz, I think Jesse would be a very helpful roommate. A very dull roommate, who would probably rather read Critical Theory Since Plato than bother anyone." Susannah looked at me as she said that, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Now Susannah, Critical Theory Since Plato is a very interesting book. You should try reading it sometime."

"I've seen enough of that book in my lifetime, and I think that it's only use would be to hit someone over the head with. Had you had it last night, you would have not needed my assistance."

"Yes, and had you had it, you would have not needed to kick Diego so many times."

"HEY! One minute, buster! I'm sure you don't want me to GO BACK IN TIME and stop myself from saving you, huh? And plus, Diego deserved it, trying to hurt someone, even if it was you, in their sleep. Not even some cowboy/ pirate deserves that, Mr. Rico Suave."

Susannah, my mother and I looked at each other for one minute, and we ended up bursting out laughing.

"Rico Suave? What was I thinking? Now, let me guess. You're going to get all upset and yell at me about how your family works hard but never as vaqueros?"

"You are quite right Susannah. How did you know?"

"My cat told me."

"You have a cat Susannah? Where is it?"

"Oh no, Mrs. de Silva. My cat is not in California, he lives in New York, on my window seat. His name is spike, and he is the ugliest thing I have ever seen." Now, I got mad at that. How could she insult spike like that. Susannah saw the look on my face, and laughed. "Did I say something to upset you? Do you have a soft spot for cats, or just ugly ones?" Susannah was saved from my wrath when my family came in, and she gave me an 'I win' look. Argh, she is so aggravating, but that is why I love her. Her spirit. We ate lunch, and it was the best feeling, being able to eat again, being able to be with my family, and being with Susannah. We had a big lunch after the excitement of the day. What would be called fajitas in Susannah's day. Abuela was very interested in Susannah.

"Ms. Simon, Hector says you come from New York. Tell me, what is it like?"

"Well, Mrs. de Silva, I lived in the city. There it is very crowded, so many people in the street. But then you find these places that are so nice and peaceful. Central park had to be my favorite place to go. Just to sit on one of the benches, and get lost in your own world, and forget everything, your fears, your worries, the fact that you have a half an hour to get home before your mother skins you alive, but you don't care. It's very nice, and I miss it sometimes. But Carmel is very beautiful, also. Looking out the window in the morning and seeing the entire valley below you, watching the fog evaporate into such a beautiful clear day. I'm sorry, I have a horrible habit of rambling on, please stop me next time."

"No, no. It is so wonderful to hear that you feel such love for your home, and for ours." Mr. de Silva insisted.

After lunch, I offered to show Susannah to her room. We came to the part of the house that housed the family. "I always resented the fact that my room was next to the guest room, but I don't think I will, anymore." We walked in, and I heard her gasp. It was a very pretty room, light blue with white trim and furniture.

"Now why couldn't Andy have decorated my room like this?" I showed Susannah to the wardrobe, and she met a very pleasant surprise. "Jesse, why are there all of these dresses in here? Surely they can't be for me?"

"Of course, Susannah, when you told my mother about how your dresses were all 'stolen' she insisted I give her your measurements, and she had one of the servants go into town and purchase these during lunch."

"But, I cannot accept them! I have done nothing for your family, and they are being so nice to me, and how am I to repay them?"

"But that's the point, Susannah! They don't want to be repaid. My family can surely afford to buy you some clothes. And, no need to worry, my mother knows about your dislike of hoop skirts, so these were very inexpensive indeed, as they are not the height of fashion. How scandalous!" she smiled, and I was so happy. And I told her so. "You know, querida, this was my only regret about my choice. That I would never get to see you again, and that you would never get to see my family, but now, I have all the really important people in my life with me, and if this is a dream, I hope I never wake up."

(Should I end here, or should I not. I am not sure. I am going to go get a sweatshirt and a drink, and contemplate this life changing question. It's almost as deep as Jesse's last sentence is, and so, it is very, very important. Note the sarcasm…)

(I have decided to continue, and will end the chapter fully, and try to find a new song for the next chapter)

"You do realize how incredibly corny you just sounded, right?"

"Querida, if you insist on making fun of me, please don't involve corn in it."

"How can you be so mean? Are you one of those guys who would sit at the back of the cafeteria complaining about the corn in his chilli? (Princess diaries!) I never knew! Do your parents know? Have you gotten help? Because I know this great psychiatrist, who can get rid of your fear of corn. You want her number?"

"I'm not sure if you realize this, but this is 1850: there are no such things as cafeterias, psychiatrists, or phones. So, please, while you're here, please try to refrain from using your sayings that we all love so much, but do not understand. And, anyways, I want to hear this sad story of how you came to be in Carmel, Susannah."

"Ooh, I just told your mother that the guy who drove me from the station rode off with all of my things... kinda drew the experience from my dealings with everyone's favorite person, Mr. Slater. So, how bout you? What's up with the whole sister thing. Do they like me? Do they hate me? Do they care at all?"

"Yes, querida, they all like you. The younger girls think that you are pretty and nice, and the older ones want hair tips."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, now I think you want to change, so I will leave you now, but, just so you know, Isabelle is outside, playing with the dogs." Jesse winked, and left. What does that mean?

But, I did want to change, and change I did. I found this great light off white gown, which I then asked to make sure it was not a nightgown, and I tied my hair back, and went in search of Isabelle. I found he out front, like Jesse said, playing with two big black dogs. "Hi! Isabelle! What are you doing?"

"Oh! I'm just playing with Mike and Tad, here. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing just fine, you want to come sit with me? We can have girl talk."

"Sure!" She threw the stick one last time, and then came and plopped herself down next to me. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Well, what is New York like?"

"Well, what is there to say? It's really crowded there. But it's nice. It's almost too quiet and calm out here. I'm so used to hearing so many people yelling, and horses and babies crying. I miss my family. We used to go to this giant park, they called it central park, and it was really great. But, it's nice here, and you all are so nice. You've really embraced me, and I can never repay you for it."

"You know, Susannah? You really are pretty. You remind me of a girl I saw once, in a dream."

"What was in the dream, Isabelle? And you can call me Suze."

"Call me Belle, that's what Jesse does. And in the dream, I saw a girl, and Jesse in some room. She was asleep in her bed, and he was just looking at her, but then he said, "Goodnight, Querida. I love you."

"When did you have these dreams? When did they start?"

"Since Jesse left for his wedding. But they've been getting longer. Last night, I saw Jesse pass through a portal, then, you. So I just have one more question."

"Shoot."

"What's New York really like? Because I know that you've never been to 1850 New York, and you're the girl from my dream. So, what's new York like, and why was Jesse glowing in my dream?"

So, what do you think? You don't have to review, I'm not one of those authors who demand reviews in order for me to update. I'm sorry this was so late, but it was thanksgiving, and then we had to put my dog to sleep. 'twas sad. So, I'm sorry, and ill try to post more, once I figure out what I want to happen in the story for myself. So, I will not ask for reviews, but I would like some feedback. So, happy reading-

Liz.

Known as wench, French ninja pirate, hey you, photocopy nazi, and many other things…

RANDOM MOMENT OF MITCH HEDBURG BLISS!!!

I hope when I move I'll get a really cool phone number, something like 222-2222, so, when my friends ask how they can reach me, ill just say 'press 2 for a while, when I answer, you know you have pressed it enough."

This shirt is dry clean only, which means, its dirty!

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. When I turn on the light all these koala bears scatter, and I'm like hold on! Let me hold one of you! Why are koala bears all so far away from me, someone needs to ship one over and I will apprehend it. And hold it, and feed it a leaf and pat it on the top of its head… alright!

Now, go out, listen to Mitch Hedburg, Rooney, Phantom Planet, The Killers, Straylight Run, Sugarcult, Yellowcard, HelloGoodbye, Jet, Franz Ferdinand, Weezer, Gavin DeGraw, The Beatles, The Toadies, Tonic… and all that good schtuff!

Now, the important part, if you do review, tell me which song to use, and it shall change the plot of the story:

Buddy Holly- Weezer

Ocean Aenue- Yellowcard

Are You Gunna be my Girl?- Jet

Dear Jamie, Sincerely Me- Hellogoodbye

Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn- Hellogoodbye

Hey Now Girl- Phntom Planet

One Ray of Sunlight- Phantom Planet

Hey- Rooney

Stay Away- Rooney

If you listen to the songs, you can kinda figure out the way the story might go, so, if you want to, listen to them all, and choose your favorite. And I highly recommend all of these bands and songs.