Chapter title is a quote from The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)
Sorry I took a longer break than usual. I spend so much time thinking about this story that I barely remember to actually sit down and write it. Once again, I'd like to thank anyone who is keeping up with the chapters as they're posted. I would love to be able to finish writing everything and then drop it all once, but that's just not how I roll at all unfortunately.
I also hope people are enjoying the little references to and quotes from beloved canon ships, mostly Delena. My intention is not to steal or repurpose but to pay homage and show appreciation.
Soundtrack:
Noname – "Yesterday" from Telefone (slightly anachronistic but HUMOR ME OKAY)
Virvel – "Charade" from Sa dna
Pulgas – "Lick You " from Pulgas
April 23, 2016
Bonnie loves coffee. And, in fact, coffee loves Bonnie too.
Right now she's drinking it out of a particularly absurd entry in Stefan's modest collection of mugs with variations on the "Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" design—this one is all black with simple white lettering, that exact phrase printed with "Don't" and "coffee" in larger all-caps font above and below the other words; it looks like someone had it due as a school assignment and put off actually doing it until the last possible second—and as she takes another sip, closing her eyes in appreciation as the hot, extra-strong brew warms her core, she thinks about how she can sometimes forget everything else in moments like these. Moments like this one, when it's Saturday and halfway between breakfast and lunchtime and there's Noname playing softly on the speakers and her friends are strewn loosely around her in the living room and in the kitchen: Caroline with her legs crossed under her on the couch, typing furiously on her laptop with one hand and her phone with the other; Valerie next to Caroline watching her chaotic display with genuine fascination; Elena on her back on the rug before the hearth holding a book open above her face; Damon in the other armchair, his chin resting on his right palm, gazing away lost in thought; Stefan humming to himself as he makes lunch. Bonnie smiles a small, private smile, doing her best to hold on to this briefest of brightnesses. This almost-perfect moment that's only missing one thing. Which happens to be the one thing she can't stop thinking about.
"Hey Val," Bonnie finally says aloud. "Did they ever give you a more specific ETA?"
The heretic shakes her head. "Haven't heard anything since that last text. But remember, Beau constantly forgets cellular phones even exist if Coryn or I don't remind him, and I doubt Nora would think to, especially after all of— well, you know. They could be five minutes out right now."
"Or five hours." Bonnie meant for it to be a joke, but she doesn't follow through on the delivery, so it comes out sounding sullen.
"Ric and the girls will be here any minute, though," Caroline cuts in, not even looking up from her double-typing. "And once he's here we can at least—"
As if on cue, the front door opening interrupts her, and everyone turns to see Ric walking in with the twins toddling on their stubby legs in front of them, Josie's dark brown hair and Lizzie's blonde mashed in erratic shapes from deep car ride sleep, their little faces brightening with synchronized smiles as they see their mom smiling back at them, her arms outstretched. There are more than a few tears in Caroline's eyes—even for just a few weeks, she'd confessed to Bonnie the other day, she'd missed them more than she ever thought she could miss anything. The girls stumble into their mother's embrace, Ric setting the diaper bag on the floor next to the couch and touching Caroline's shoulder in greeting, and the sight is almost too much for Bonnie to bear. Not from jealousy ((it'll be a long time before she wants any kids of her own, she knows that for sure, and she'd foster or adopt, depending on what Nora— well... let's table that), but from happiness. Caroline had always been one to espouse the best parts of being a vampire, and as Katherine once so smugly summarized in this very room she very much found herself in her new life, but the frozen-in-time aspect had always been hard on her. Lizzie and Josie were an absolute dream come true, and regardless of whatever new challenges a fresh set of Gemini twins might eventually bring, Bonnie couldn't hold more joy for her friend.
"Girls, don't forget to say hi to your aunts!" Caroline tells them both while still holding them in her lap. "I think Aunt Bonnie missed you even more than I did."
"You caught me," Bonnie replies, followed by a soft oof as Josie plops down into her lap, having somehow waddled over and climbed up onto the chair in the time it took her to take another drink of her coffee. "Jeez, you guys are getting so big!" She takes Josie's hands and lifts her up so she's standing with her tiny feet planted on Bonnie's thighs. "How was your trip with your dad?"
Josie and Lizzie both burble cheerfully in response. Ric, in contrast, yawns and scrubs a hand over his face. "I forgot how much I hated airports. Half of us have the power to control people's minds... we don't have a private jet on retainer why?"
"Too much work." Damon doesn't move from his contemplate pose even an inch as he speaks. "I'd much rather compel myself into first class."
"Yeah, well, not an option for me, especially with these two gremlins either in my backpack or orbiting my ankles at all times." Ric collapses onto the couch between Caroline and Valerie, giving Lizzie an affectionate head rub as she climbs off out of Valerie's arms and into Elena's (who then stands and sits down on Damon's lap with Lizzie on hers). "I'll give them props, though; lots of gorgeous people out there into new, comically inept dads. And yes, I say people because half the times I got hit on it was a dude."
"Well I'm just so glad our children can function as living breathing chick magnets for you," Caroline says as she rolls her eyes.
"Aw, thanks Care!" Ric pretends not to pick up on the sarcasm and flashes an exaggerated himbo grin. "Plus, this nice gentleman in dark sunglasses and a trenchcoat offered to watch them for free while Brandi and I got a hotel room. Faith in humanity restored, right?"
Caroline screws up her face in annoyance at these antics as Damon chimes in. "Brandi? At CHO? Oh, she's a regular. What do they call the airport version of lot lizards? Tarmac trolls?"
"You're not funny," Caroline says. "Neither of you are funny."
Bonnie, who's been trying not to laugh for this whole conversation, feels Caroline's glare on her and forces a straight face. "Not in the slightest, no."
"In all seriousness, I did actually... meet someone." Ric speaks these last two words at about half the volume of the ones before, his cheeks turning a ruddy pink.
"Ric!" Elena's already all over it. "Details, now!"
"I hope this doesn't mean the child neglect part of the bit is also sort of true," Bonnie adds with raised eyebrows.
"No, actually, it's funny, we met at the gate for our flight out of O'Hare, and I was trying to fix one of the straps on the backpack carrier that came loose, trying not to wake up Lizzie who's asleep in my other arm, making sure Josie doesn't wander off, and—
Damon clears his throat. "We get it, you're Superdad. Get to the juice."
"—AND," Ric continues loudly, "this woman comes over and says something like, 'I'm sorry to bother you, but I actually have the exact same carrier for my kids and that strap always comes loose, I can fix it so that it stays if that's okay with you,' which of course it was, and then we ended up talking the entire flight back. She has a son the girls' age and a daughter a year and a half older, her mom's watching them while she was on this work trip, and she kept talking about how ridiculously excited she was to see them even though it had only been a few days, and I don't know guys, I think I really like her."
"Damn Ric," Damon says after a few seconds of collective stunned silence. "I definitely predicted you'd turn into a softie once the munchkins got here. But this high school romantic regression... I did not see that coming."
"Regression? This is evolution." Caroline gives Ric a hug. "That's great. I hope it goes well."
He scratches his head. "Me too. She lives in Waynesboro, so not super close, but not too far either. We made plans to meet halfway for coffee in a few days."
"And may we know the name of this heaven-sent angel?" Bonnie asks.
Ric opens his mouth to answer but is interrupted by Stefan finally joining them in the living room, grinning from ear to ear and saying, "I thought I heard my two favorite girls!" He scoops Josie up off Bonnie with one hand and Lizzie off Elena with the other and plants them both on his shoulders, wincing and then laughing as both the twins giggle and viciously yank his hero hair with their tiny hands. "Ouch! Hey! Well if you're gonna Ratatouille me at least do it to help me finish up lunch."
"It isn't already?" Caroline calls after him as he walks back with his new assistants.
"Babe, it's like 11:30. You all should be grateful I'm actually gonna be done before noon for once."
"Sorry, I'm with Care," Ric chimes in, rubbing his belly like Winnie-the-Pooh. "Food. Me. Now."
"You see? Forget the two-year-olds, we have a hungry infant on our hands," Caroline says as she sets her devices down and springs to her feet after Stefan. "I think I might need to supervise the final steps of the process."
Once they're both gone, Bonnie looks around at everyone and then half-whispers, "So we should just go get Taco Bell, right?"
"You're funny!" Stefan yells from the kitchen. "And obviously do not value your life!"
Bonnie turns to Damon. "I can't decide if he's more Julia Child or Gordon Ramsay."
"He's both. Oxymoron is the secret ingredient in all the dishes. Emphasis on the 'moron.' "
They all laugh but then the conversation trails off; now that Ric's here the makeshift dam between this little oasis of normalcy and an entire rushing river of whatever the hell lies ahead. And before anyone can continue the banter to put it off just a bit longer, the front door opens again, and this time Beau walks in, followed by Nora, who meets Bonnie's eyes for barely a second before running off upstairs to her self-imposed bedroom-cell. Feeling the pit that had already been gathering in her stomach swell even larger, she gives Beau a "what the hell?" look and he frowns as he signs in answer: "All the guilt is breaking her."
Bonnie breaks too, for a moment, and even though Nora will say something like go away, you aren't safe with me right now, she knows she needs her anyway.
"I take it you didn't find any sign of Mary Louise?"
Beau shakes his head. "It's like she just disappeared. Either she's really dead, or worse."
Bonnie rubs her head. "Hey, what's one more terrifying problem on the pile?" As she gets up she tosses the notebook she'd been trying to forget existed to Valerie. "I'll be back. All the notes from the questions we asked Nora are in there." She looks at Ric. "Did you bring it?"
He sighs. "I brought it." He reaches into his jacket and takes out the 1994 Ascendant, charred and blackened at the edges but fully intact. "Is someone ever going to explain what the hell is going on and how the fuck it involves the prison worlds?"
"And how the fuck that thing is in front of me right now?" Elena walks right up to it and stares in disbelief. "I watched the shattered pieces of it burn to ash in my hands. I'll never forget that—I thought we'd lost Bonnie forever."
"Val will fill you in," Bonnie replies. "Or at least, spritz you in. We don't know much either. Give me a holler when the food's ready."
She finds Nora in the same guest room, which she hasn't seen since their reunion on Wednesday, so the guerrilla redecoration is a bit of a shock. Nora's in the middle of taping up what looks to be the fiftieth newspaper article in the sprawling parade along the walls, the all-caps headlines and gruesome feature images glaring inward like demon eyes: ... "UNKNOWN ASSAILANT MASSACRES FAMILY OF FIVE" ... "REAL LIFE SLASHER MOVIE: THE GRISLY DETAILS OF THE EAST PARK MAULINGS" ... "SHERIFF'S DEPT SAYS LOCAL CANNIBALISTIC DEVIL-CULTS ARE PERSONS OF INTEREST IN ONGOING MURDER INVESTIGATION" ... "ANIMAL CONTROL CALLED TO SCENE OF YOUNG COUPLE WITH TORN THROATS" ... "STILL NO ARRESTS AS THIRD WEEK OF LAUREN ENGLEWOOD CASE PASSES" ... "WACO LAW ENFORCEMENT SEEKS ANSWERS AFTER HILLCREST MEDICAL CENTER SHUT DOWN BY UNKNOWN GOVERNMENT ORGANIZATION" ...
Bonnie almost gets dizzy trying to read them all, the unique individual horrors of each of the incidents blurring into one formless mass of violence and suffering. She trembles a bit as she turns to look at Nora, who's still deeply engrossed in adding the new additions to her self-punishment collage, either too distracted to notice that someone has entered the room or consciously ignoring that fact. Bonnie would wager the latter.
"You know," Bonnie finally says, "I've seen my fair share of morbid installations. But even this is a little much, don't you think?"
"You shouldn't be here," Nora replies, not looking up from her task. "You're not safe with me right now."
"That's exactly what I knew you would say. And this is exactly what you know I will say: I don't believe that."
"Then you're not as smart as I thought you were."
Nora's tone is devoid of emotion, even in her downward spiral unable to muster a genuine insult to hurl at Bonnie, but the comment still stings. Luckily the witch has had years upon years of practice at steeling herself against the transparent verbal barbs of vampires. "Yeah, you're right. I'm way smarter."
She swears she sees the outermost edge of Nora's lips curl into a smile for a fraction of a second, but it's gone just as she registers it. "Would a smart person still be standing in a room filled with the sadistic homicidal exploits of a monster masquerading as a human, trying to win back said monster's heart?"
"Who said anything about winning back hearts? I just came to see if you wanted in on this round of Monopoly. Damon's gonna claim the car token for himself if you don't get down there soon."
Nora finally turns to look at her, and the hollowness behind her swollen, red-rimmed eyes nearly rips Bonnie in two. "You can't joke us out of this, Bonnie."
"Why not? Logic isn't good enough for you. Honesty isn't good enough. We've had this same conversation over and over and over again. You just need to believe what I say when I say it."
"Exactly. We keep having the conversation because it has no conclusion. I died and came back to life and we're still having it."
"Right, because, if we're talking about my perspective, between you 'dying' and 'coming back to life' you were psychically controlled by a mythological sociopath who forced you to serve and feed her against your will for eight months. Not really a negligible detail."
"But there's always something, Bonnie. I am eternally one step, one bad day, one Phoenix Stone trip, one Siren song, one loss away from turning into a ruthless killing machine. Because at the bottom of it all, that's what I am. That's who I am. I'm not going to change. And there's no apology in the world that encompasses all the reasons I'm wrong for you."
They're both standing now, faces inches away, Nora looking down from her extra two-odd inches of height, and for a moment it's like those eight months never even happened.
"You're not wrong for me," Bonnie says firmly, not raising her voice even a decibel, "but you are wrong. That is what you are, no argument there. But it's not who you are. You're trying to tell me it means absolutely nothing that you're holed up in this room consumed with guilt over the pain and death you've caused? Every single person I was just with downstairs has killed. I've killed. We're all monsters. There's no use arguing over who's more monstrous."
Nora sighs. "But I know you, Bonnie. You've killed, but never for no reason. Never for just the sake of it. Not like I have. You told me you can't ever look at Damon without at least some small part of you remembering all the terrible things he's done. Why should I be any different?"
"You aren't. What you've done will never be erased, especially not in my mind. I've been to the memorial in the square so many times that I can probably list the names by heart. I stood in that hospital and smelled the stench of stale blood and rotting flesh from the pile of corpses you left. Is this what you want to hear? That I haven't forgotten the death and desolation we all leave behind us wherever we go? Well I haven't." Bonnie steps even closer, the tip of her nose brushing Nora's. "And I also haven't forgotten how you found the strength to admit you were wrong and side with Valerie. I haven't forgotten the amazing things you said to the kids when we handed out gifts. I haven't forgotten the fact that I have never felt more loved and appreciated than when you got me the snowglobe for Christmas. I haven't forgotten that at the end of the day, it's you who makes me grateful to be alive. Excited to be alive." She brushes a stray lock of Nora's hair behind her ear and wipes away a tear that creeps onto her cheek. "You, me... it's us. Hasn't always been, but always will be."
When Bonnie kisses her it's tentative, questioning, and Nora answers with a vigor that says Yes, us, the electricity sparked by the contact of their lips and then their tongues crackling through Bonnie's whole body with just as much intensity as the first time so long ago on that rickety motel balcony. Just as they both start to really sink into it Stefan's extra-sassed voice rings out from downstairs: "Taco Bell's here!"
Nora giggles and Bonnie kisses from her forehead down to her nose and then her lips one more time. "It's a long road," she whispers, "but even the longest roads have an end. An end we'll reach no matter how quickly we walk. Or crawl."
"You and your metaphors," Nora whispers back. "Those will never end."
"As if you'd want them to."
"Touché."
Bonnie kisses her forehead again. "Are you sure you can handle this big happy family lunch extravaganza? Because I'm not sure I can. We could really just blow it off and go get something greasy. To hell with whatever Stefan says."
"I would love to, of course. But I think I'll be fine." Nora takes Bonnie's right hand in both of hers. "Are you sure you're not just being extra-nice to me because of the horrific spell we have to do later?"
"You caught me," Bonnie replies, rolling her eyes. "Thanks for reminding me. Not like I've been dreading it all morning or anything."
"I'll be fine. At this point I have literally been to hell and back. I can now somehow hold a candle to my girlfriend's "You know I don't deserve you, right? The world doesn't deserve you."
Bonnie rolls her eyes. "If that's true, then I would really love if it acted like it once in a while."
When everyone first sits down to Stefan's characteristically excessive table spread, most of them, having just played catchup to what is probably the most fucked supernatural predicament they've found themselves in yet, have looks on their faces that reflect the presence of the mountain range of uncertainty and terror looming over them all. But Bonnie's in too good of a mood—Nora seems not at all miserable for the first time since she's been back; hell, Nora's back; they're in kind of a good place now, it seems; Stefan surprised her with one of her favorite things he makes, the thick corn chowder with scallions and the potato-flour rolls on the side... who WOULDN'T be in a good mood—and so she takes advantage of Caroline's newly instated "no doom and gloom at the table" rule, already made easier to follow because of Lizzie and Josie being there, to try and get everyone to see at least some of the bright side, and to her surprise it actually kind of works. Everyone has funny stories: Ric of solo-dad travel shenanigans, Elena of the soap-rivaling drama between the nurses at her residency, Valerie of the daycare kids who makes lists of ridiculous things for her to say with her accent. And with each one Bonnie can feel Nora next to her becoming more and more grounded, engaged, here, and it's a beautiful feeling, one she's going to try to file some of away for later when she needs a bright spot to get her through the dark.
But then one by one they all start to finish eating, and soon the brief lapses in conversation and awkward clinks of silverware start to outnumber the voices, and the dread they've all collectively shoved into the hall closet starts to seep back out, slipping through the cracks in the proverbial door and crawling into the dining room like so many microscopic spiders. Despite his having been the most talkative during the meal other than Bonnie, Ric is the first of them to acknowledge the shift, however subtly, clearing his throat and saying, "Hey Care, might be about time to take the girls to the condo for a nap."
The blonde vampire lets out a little sigh, knowing exactly what the unspoken undercurrent of the suggestion is. "Yeah, you're probably right."
"Why don't I take them?" Elena. "You guys need all the vamp muscle you can get. I'm just a weak, frail human now."
"Hey, what're you trying to say?" Ric fires back in mock indignation.
"That humans are weak and frail," Damon says flatly, turning to Elena. "Which is why you were going to head back home anyway. And not with the munchkins, who could conceivably suck up all the Cure magic running through your veins. Best case scenario, no one else can use it. Worst case scenario you die."
Elena shakes her head. "I'm not afraid of my nieces vacuuming the life out of me, Damon. Lizzie just pinched me earlier. That was all. I'm not in danger."
"It wasn't just a pinch. I saw the damn orange glow."
"Wait, what?" Bonnie leans forward, suddenly much more engaged in this routine couple's spat. "Lizzie siphoned Elena? And I'm just finding out about this now?"
"No doom and gloom at the table, remember?" Ric says, shooting a pointed look at Caroline.
"Sorry, jeez. Just thought it might allow us to actually enjoy life all together for like two seconds."
"It's a good rule, Care," Bonnie soothes, "but this is... well, I'm not sure what it is."
"Like I said, I really think it was just a pinch." Elena shifts in her chair. "I picked her up in a way she didn't like and she reacted."
"Regardless, if it's even a possibility, we have to be on top of it." Bonnie flashes a warm aunt-y smile at the twins, who are starting to look like they're aware everyone's talking about them. "Not only do we not know how it could affect you, we don't know how it could affect them. Unless our three siphoner friends sitting at this very table could shed some light?"
As Caroline picks both of the girls up and carries them out of the room, Nora, Valerie, and Beau, all of whom have been silent for this whole exchange, shake their heads in near unison. "I wish we could give better advice," Valerie says, "but even going off the sparse records the Geminis did keep about their 'deviant' progeny, every siphoner is different. Drastically so. I mean, Beau didn't even reveal his ability until he was ten."
"Whereas my beloved parents knew I was broken from the moment I came into this world and clasped my fat little fingers around my mother's precious pendant," Nora adds.
"Right. So in conclusion"—Damon claps his hands together—"we have absolutely no idea whether or not my adorable nieces currently have the ability to literally suck the life out of you. So, being me, who would rather not see the love of his life reduced to a mummified corpse, I suggest a return to Plan A."
"You're an ass," Elena mutters as she suddenly stands up and storms out of the room, arms crossed tightly across her chest.
Damon scoffs and throws his arms up, looking around the table for a look of solidarity, but he receives none; everyone's either too caught up in their own thoughts or just unwilling to take a side. Bonnie's sort of in both camps, but she forcibly shakes herself out of it and claps her hands together. "Guys, I know we're all kinda walking on an emotional tightrope right now. Let's just calm down, remember we all love each other, and do what we have to do, alright?"
Ric stands now too. "I'll talk to Elena. You guys shout if you need me."
"Just a heads up, I will probably be shouting a lot." Nora lets out a short, humorless laugh, that may as well just have been a cough. "It's not exactly a pleasant process."
"Well then, shout extra loud." He rests a reassuring hand on Nora's shoulder on his way out. "You'll be fine. Bonnie won't let anything happen to you."
"Damn right," Bonnie affirms. "Although there might be some conflicting interests, depending on if you annoyed Beau in the car anywhere near as much as the girls did Ric."
Beau cracks one of only a few smiles today and signs, "That's for me to know and her to find out."
As Bonnie does her part in preparing for the memory extraction spell, she periodically lapses into recollections of the last time she performed this magic: junior year, when she, Caroline, and Jeremy drugged Luka Martin at the Grill and then dug into his mind for answers about Elijah. It wasn't a pleasant experience then (as well as being one of the first times Bonnie can guiltily pinpoint an example of her letting go of her own morals for "the greater good"), and they had only needed to access Luka's conscious thoughts; now that they're digging through the deepest depths of Nora's subconscious, the process is even more involved, risky, and violent. They'll be trawling through a layer even more removed from everyday function than the path they took with Marcel and Vincent's help, the neurological equivalent of the Marianas Trench; places that can only be accessed by a psychic invader who wants the truth of their objectives to remain buried forever. Bonnie has learned as much as she can about this Sybil creature over the past few days, both from what Nora told her and anything they've been able to exhume from the ruins of the Armory archives, and yet it still doesn't feel like she knows enough to be able to decipher the traces the Siren's psychic influence left in its wake. But they need to try. According to Vincent, the half-manifestation of the Hell dimension on the physical plane is growing larger and more corporeal by the day. As of now it's still invisible to the unspelled eye, but who knows if that will remain true.
"Okay, I'm ready," Nora says from the table she's lying on.
Bonnie takes her hand. "You're sure? If you don't feel up to it, just say the word, really."
Valerie and Beau nod in agreement.
"No, let's just get it over with. And then I think I'll take you up on that offer for a greasy takeout trip."
"Sounds like a plan."
Bonnie reaches out both of her own hands, Valerie grabbing her left and Beau her right, both of them dipping their other set of fingers in the bowl of dense herb mixture and then touching them to each of Nora's temples.
They've barely begun when Nora screams in agony and all three of them open their eyes and step back, bewildered by what they've just seen.
"Was that... Elena?" Valerie asks.
Bonnie's stomach feels like it's filled with concrete. "No. That was— Oh Jesus, what the fuck. That was Katherine."
