A/N: I didn't know if anyone was still reading this, so I stopped updating. But someone IMed me today and made me all happy… so… in turn… I give you. UPDATES!
This Chapter is 22 Pages, and the next one is even longer so far, I think last time I checked 23. Not done yet.
I need something funny to put up here… -goes to look for some funny stuff-
A guy came to my show one night and he was really hammered, and he was sitting in the front row. Just being all despondent and mumbling to himself, and he whipped out the most brilliant line. I couldn't believe it, this drunk guy just blurted it out and it was amazing, I wanted to write it down and put it in a movie. I looked down at the guy, and I said "Listen dude, what's the matter with you?" and he waved me off, so I was like "What's your problem?" And he stood up, and he kicked his chair back, and 300 people got really quiet. And he goes, "I HAVE SEVEN PROBLEMS... AND YOU'RE FIVE OF THEM!"
When Someone calls you pals and you're not pals, fuck that, you know what I mean.
Are you out of your fucking mind? You really are out of your fucking mind!
Has anyone here ever been fully engulfed in fire? It's gotta be so hot.
Here's an example of a woman who was too optimistic with me recently. I was walking by a shoe store, and I looked in the window, and I see a pair of boots that I want in my life, OK, so I walk in and I say to the woman working there, "Hi, excuse me. Hey, do you have these boots in a 12?" This is what she does, she looks at me very optimistically and goes, "Ummm let me take a peek". That's what she said by the way, "let me take a peek". I'm like, "Yeah, while you're at it, look around, don't just glimpse, I want these boots... move a box if you have to." She goes into the back, when she comes out she's super optimistic and she's holding a boot. She walks right up to me and says, '...we have it in a 9!' "Really? do you guys also have a bone saw anywhere nearby? Tell you what, just run at me really fast and jam that sucker right on my hoof. Do you guys have a time machine to send me back to the 7th grade when those fit my feet?"
Because once someone says fuck you, there's nothing better. You can't come back with, "Fuck me? No Fuck You, Uh, Gaylord."
I go old school and after a good breath I go, "No problem...gaylord."
AnyWHO! Read and Review.
Love always,
Wish x Me x Dead
xx-Kari-xx
Thank Yous: Denim Hernandez, It's the voices' fault, thrnbrooke, prettybeka, and Sefestis-Dragoni
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter & Co. They all belong to J.K.R. & Co.
xXxXxXxXx
Reminders: xXxXxXxXx are between scenes, xXx is before a smut, lemon, sex scene,
-.- is a dream, and ummm… I think that's it for now! Oh and italicized things are
thoughts, and if the -.- are by them dreams.
xXxXxXxXx
Part Eight
xXxXxXxXx
Draco slowly walked to Slytherin tower thinking about Harry the whole way there. Damnit, why could he not get that boy out of his mind. I want him, I need him, oh Baby oh Baby. Stop it, Malfoy! Your going to far now. Draco walked into the room smiling to himself, he just couldn't help it. He was glad no one was in there, now no one could ask him where he had been.
He sat on the couch close to the green fire and set his feet on the coffee table. Closing his eyes he started to drift off to sleep.
POP
Draco didn't stir.
"Hello?"
SNORE
You have got to be kidding me! "Hellllooooo!"
Silence.
The little one jumped onto the couch and climbed up to Draco's ear. "WAKE UP!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.
Draco awoke with a start and stood up quickly. What the hell? Whoever woke him up was gonna pay.
"Over here!" the little one said from the couch.
Draco looked over and stared. "Who and what are you?" Draco said coldly, pissed about being awake now.
"My name is K, and I am a Yuuku!" K said smiling sweetly, pushing some green hair off her shoulder.
"What the hell is a Yuuku?"
K looked offended, "I am a Yuuku!"
"Fine, now that that is settled, what the hell do you want?"
"Well, I want to add trouble."
"Add trouble? To what?"
"Anything I want, and confusion."
"Confusion?"
"Uh-huh!"
"I'm confused..." Draco muttered.
"Then I'm doing my job."
"I'll pretend as if I know what the hell you're talking about." He said rolling his eyes.
"God, you're a dumb one."
"A dumb what?"
"Human!"
"And your not!"
K looked at him as if he were the stupidest thing on the planet, "Do I look like one?"
Draco smirked, "No, you don't. You know what…"
"What?" K said as coldly as Draco had before.
"I could get to like you, K."
K smirked, "Good, cuz you're stuck with me."
"For how long?"
"I don't know, until Akkei decides we have to be reassigned."
"Akkei? We?" What the hell was this thing on about?
"'Akkei', as in who gives us our assignments on whom to make trouble with. And 'We' as in me and my sister. We are group Yuuku's we go and make trouble for a group, and sense there is only two of us, we make trouble for a group of two."
"A group of two? I'm sorry, but I am group of three."
K shook her head. "God, you're almost as dumb JT."
"Who's JT?"
"My brother, now don't change the subject! Think harder."
"A group of two?"
"Yes, your girlfriend or something."
"I don't have a girlfriend, I never will."
"Why not?" K asked him, was he that dense?
"I'm gay."
"Then your boyfriend."
"Harry? Are you telling me that you are a trouble maker for me and Harry!"
K smirked again, "You said it, not me. And besides I am here to make trouble for you. M makes trouble for the other."
"You suck!"
"Thank you, Draco, but you swallow." K said smirking.
Draco scowled. "Dumb ass, Yuuku."
"Slytherin Slut."
"Fucking Cunt!"
"Regurgitated Cum Bubble!"
"Little Bitch!"
"Cum-guzzling-gutter-slut-nickel-whore!"
Draco froze in shock, for such a little thing she was mean. No wonder she was picked for the Slytherin.
"Whoa."
"Whoa, what?"
"You're harsh."
"And proud of it." K said coldly. "I may be small, but I don't have to be nice." She stood as tall as she could, which was maybe the height of a quill, with her wings out-spread. She was a lot more show-offy then M.
"I can't believe I was just yelling at a thing that could sit in my hand."
"No, you just can't believe that you have nothing to say back to me."
"Ouch, god, you're mean."
K smirked, "Thank you."
"Your welcome."
xXxXxXxXx
Ron was walking towards the room where he was to meet Pansy, this was horrible. He swore that this was it, he couldn't handle girls much lover. If one more girl did something like this to him he was going to date Neville. Besides the fact that this was Pansy… and there was no way this was his baby, he had used a condom that night, and he knew it.
"Where the fuck have you been." Pansy said when he walked in.
"None of your business!" Ron said rudely, annoyed at Pansy.
"Whatever, now are you ready to accept it?"
"Nope."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Because it's not my baby."
"What makes you so sure?"
"What makes me so sure is I used a condom. And besides Pansy, you're a slut. Who knows what you've been fucking. For all I know you baby could be part dog."
"What that supposed to mean?"
"Think."
"Ewe! I would not fuck a dog!"
Ron turned to leave, ignoring pansy.
"Don't you turn away from me Ronald Weasley!"
"Why don't you just go find someone else to harass about being your child's father."
"Ronald! If you walk out that door I will kill this baby!"
Ron spun around, he didn't like Pansy, but that baby's life was in her hands. He knew it wasn't right to let her kill it. "What?"
"I… I… Never Mind! Just Go!"
Ron turned again and walked out the door, but not before calling pansy a dirty slut.
Pansy stayed in the room and cried, this was so fucked up. She had a feeling Ron would realize it wasn't his baby… but she didn't want him to be the father.
xXxXxXxXx
TWHAP!
"OW!" Seamus yelped turning around and rubbing his head. "What was that for!"
Rom looked angry a bit, "For my sister."
"Kissing her?"
"No shit, Sherlock." Ron said with a scowl.
"Hey it's not my fault!"
"Not your fault!"
"Yea, her lips just fell into mine!" Seamus protested.
"How did that happen!"
"Easily, I could demonstrate on you."
"No, Seamus. Why the hell did you kiss her?"
"Her lips are yummy like-"
"Like what?"
"Like… like yours," Seamus mused.
"What!" Ron yelped.
Seamus pushed Ron against the wall and kissed him, his tongue running over Ron's lips and in his mouth, bringing the red-head into a small section of ecstasy. "Mmm, yeah, like yours." Seamus smiled at him.
Ron stood there, speechless.
Seamus took that chance to run off,
Where did Finnigan go? Wait? HE JUST KISSED ME
xXxXxXxXx
Seamus smiled to himself as he narrowly escaped at painful death by Ron. I am so great, I am so great, everybody loves me, cuz I am so great! Seamus amused himself for another few minutes walking down the all humming the tune over and over again in his head.
"No you can't!"
Seamus heard Harry's voice in the distance and giggled. YAY!
"Why on earth would I let you do that?"
Who is he talking to?
"No!"
No, what?
"What are you? Crazy!"
Who is crazy?
"How can you take that as a complement?"
Seamus stood there in the middle of the hall as Harry walked around the corner.
"Just because K thought you-"
Harry froze at the sight of Seamus. How much did he hear?
"Who's crazy, Harry?" Seamus asked sweetly seeing only Harry and no one else.
M giggled on Harry's shoulder, 'He He, he can't hear me or see me Harry! Isn't that great?'
"How is that great!" Harry yelped.
"How is what great?" Seamus asked.
'Think of something, Harry.'
This Yuuku sucks, Seamus heard me!
"Nothing, never mind, it's nothing."
"Didn't sound like nothing. Sounded like you were having a lovers quarrel."
'EW! LOVE! With a HUMAN! Ga-Ross. Fix this! Or I will add even more trouble!'
"What? Seamus! What the hell are you talking about! I'm as single as can be."
Seamus smirked, "Who are you dating, Harry? You never came back to the room last night. I covered for you, the others believed me."
"You lie, Seamus."
"Your right, I do." He said leaning against the wall.
'Heheheh, I like this one Harry, we can have lots of trouble with him.'
Harry shook his head trying not to scream at M. "I have to go."
"Where?"
'Just fall into his arms and you can kiss and it would be great!' M giggled.
"To the common room to tell you and the guys something."
"Tell me now."
'You think he's gorgeous, you wanna date him, love him and marry him!' M said in a sing-song voice.
"STOP!" Harry yelled.
Seamus looked positively confused and hurt, "Harry?"
Harry looked at Seamus; that hurt looked on his face made Harry feel horrible, "I wasn't talking to you! I swear!"
"Then who were you talking to?" Seamus asked.
'Hahaha! I love being a Yuuku! Trouble is fun!'
M, you have to stop, Seamus is like a little kid. Then he remembered, M did not read his thoughts.
"Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe me."
"Try me, Harry. I am Seamus after all."
"What if I told you I had a little troublemaker on my shoulder as we speak right now?"
"A Yuuku?"
Harry looked shocked, "You know about Yuuku's?"
"I read about anything that is supposed to be not real."
"They are."
'BIG problem, Harry. If you tell him, we will have to add even more trouble so he thinks your lying. Then he gets mad at you for lying.'
Harry sighed as M whispered this to him; he had to lie to Seamus so Seamus wouldn't think he lied. How fucked up was that?
"Is that what you were talking to?"
"No, I have never even heard of a Yukie before."
"Yuuku." Seamus corrected him.
"Right Yuuku, I knew that."
Seamus smiled at him, "Then who, or what?"
Harry thought for a moment, "My… self…"
"You were calling yourself crazy?"
"Yes…"
"Okay!" Seamus said happily running off. "I LOVE YOU HARRY!"
"Yeah, Me too!"
Seamus froze and spun around, "You love me?"
"No, I love me!"
Seamus laughed.
xXxXxXxXx
She walked into the common room. There he was, with Mika in his arms smiling at him. He whispers in Mika's ear and she giggles. So cute, so sweet, the perfect Slytherin couple.
Why did I do this? Why did I have to ruin her happiness? Mika, my sister, no, not just my sister, but my twin. Sure, we're not identical; Mika has long red hair with soft curls in it, while I had shoulder length black hair. Mika is a 'good' kid, she's a virgin. Everyone knows that, they also know I am not. I am far from one. God! Why did I have to do that?
"Pansy!" Mika says happily seeing her sister at the door, she sat up. "Come sit next to me."
Pansy smiled like nothing was wrong, she walked over to her sister and sat next to her.
"How are you? I haven't seen you in days!" She said sitting up a bit.
"I've been here." Pansy said emotionlessly.
Mika whispered something to her boyfriend, Blaise. He nodded and walked off. He winked at Pansy, but Mika didn't notice.
"What's wrong? You haven't been following Draco around in two days. I heard others talking about it. And you never make eye contact with me anymore!" she snapped forcing Pansy to look at her.
Pansy saw her sister worried bright blue eyes looking at her with concern, but she couldn't bring her own pale green eyes to look into them.
"Pansy? What's wrong?" Mika asked again when she got no response.
Pansy put on a fake smile, "Nothing is wrong, Mika. Promise!" She lied hopping Mika would fall for it.
It didn't work, lying to Mika never worked. "Liar… Pansy, whatever it is, you can trust me."
I do trust you, Mika. I trust you more then anything. But it is you who shouldn't trust me. How can you trust someone who ruined your life, your love, who had sex with your boyfriend? I have to tell her… but. I can't. I just can't bring myself to tell her. She trusts me… so much… oh god, why did I do this? I had to fuck him! I just had to! And now, worst of all, I am pregnant! You hear me Mika! I am going to have your boyfriend's baby! Tears shown deeply in Pansy's eyes.
Mika hugged her sister. She didn't know what was wrong, but whatever it was, it was big. Why won't she tell me?
"You don't belong here, Mika."
"Belong where?"
"In Slytherin. You're too nice," Pansy said wiping her eyes.
Mika giggled, "I wouldn't dream of being anywhere where I couldn't see my sister every day."
Pansy tried to smile, but she couldn't. I am sorry, Mika.
xXxXxXxXx
Harry walked to the dorm ignoring a laughing M on his shoulder. This thing was to much of a nuisance.
'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'
"Okay, M, I get it. I can't tell anyone you are here."
'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.'
"Can you stop laughing?"
'Nope. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.'
Harry paused before he turned the corner to the, "Why?"
'HAHA! Because its fun to make you mad. HAHAHA!'
"But I thought you were trouble, not anger, or pissed off."
'HAHAHAHA! I am, but anger HAHAHAHA! Is a form of trouble! HAHAHA!'
"Whatever."
'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.'
Harry shook his head and sighed.
Harry walked into the common room, it was jam packed with Gryffindor's and Harry couldn't see any of his dorm mates.
"Damn-it," he silently swore.
"LOVER!" Seamus yelled hugging Harry from behind.
'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!' M 'silently' giggled.
Harry shook his head at M and Seamus. "Hello Seamus."
"Wha'cha doing?"
"Looking for Ron, Dean, and Neville."
"Oh," Seamus said cocking his head to the side looking at Harry.
"Hey Seamus, do me a favor."
Seamus looked at Harry, "Anything, Love."
"Go find the others and tell them to meet me and you in our room."
Seamus let go of Harry and ran off.
'HAHAHAHAHAHA!'
"Will stop laughing!" Harry whispered.
'Ha-Ha, nope, Ha-Ha!'
"Why are you laughing?"
'Simple, Harry, because, that Seamus boy is going to make it so easy to add some trouble in your life.'
Harry sighed, he knew M was right.
"Yuuku's suck," he said under his breath walking to his dorm.
xXxXxXxXx
Draco was walking around the grounds with K on his shoulder. The minute someone had walked into the common room, Draco ran out, hopping K wouldn't follow. She did. K was sitting on his shoulder brushing her hair and braiding random strands.
'I'm bored, Draco…'
"Well then go bother someone."
'I am here to bother you, but all you are doing is walking in a circle.'
"I don't wanna be bothered."
K sighed, 'Come on! Lets go do something!' K whined.
"And let you get me into trouble? How stupid do you think I am?" K opened her mouth, "Don't answer that."
K smirked.
"Don't do that," Draco said looking at her.
'Don't do what?'
"Smirk at me."
'Why not?' she asked coldly.
"Because I- WOAH!" Draco slipped and fell on his face.
K giggled.
"Yuuku's suck"
'Thank You,' K said giggling madly, 'But again, you swallow.'
xXxXxXxXx
Seamus walked into the dorm with the three other following him.
"What up Harry?" Dean said sitting on his bed.
Harry opened his mouth to tell them what was going on.
"Before Harry Speaks. I have something I wanna sing!"
"Oh God," Ron said in fear.
"What?" Neville yelped.
"NO!" Dean yelled.
'This should be good! Tell him to sing Harry.'
"No!" Harry gasped.
The others looked at Harry and Seamus.
'Now or I will have something BAD happen to you and Draco.'
"Fine!" Harry sighed, "Sing away Seamus."
"Yay!" Seamus coughed, "Ah, hem-
I've got a lovely bunch of coconut
-dedalede-
There they are a-standing in a row
-Doo doo doo-
Big ones small ones
Some as big as your head.
I don't know
The rest of the words to this song
I can see me now
On Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
When I open up my eyes
To see-
I'm a Barbie girl, in my Barbie world
Laughing plastic
It's fantastic
You can brush my hair
Undress me everywhere
Imagination LIFE
Styles of the rich and the famous
They're always complaining, always complaining
If money is such a problem
Well they got mansions
Think we should rob them
It's the hard-knock life for us!
It's the hard-knock life for us!
'Steada treated,
We get tricked!
'Steada kisses,
We get kicked!
It's the hard-knock-
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
-Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na-
I wanna be a Care Bear
Oh it'll be so great when I'm a Care Bear
Oh I can hardly wait to be a Care Bear
We'll stick together through and through like glue!
I don't wanna be-
ROXIE HEART!
Mmmm, I'm a star!
And the audience loves me!
And I love them
And they love me for loving them
And I love them for loving me
And we love each other
And that's because none of us
Got enough love in our childhoods
And that's showbiz
Kid
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to-
You're my honey bun
Sugar plum
Pumbeumbiumpkin
You're my sweetie pie
You're my cubby cake
Gum drop
Sniggle-be-sniggle-sore
The apple of my-
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
SPONGEBOB SQUARE-
Come little children I'll take thee away
Into my garden of enchantment
Come little children the times come to-
ELMO'S WORLD
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Elmo's World
Elmo loves his-
Pooh Bear, Winnie the Pooh bear
Soft and he'd Cuddly
Oh what a wonderful-
Whole New World
A dazzling place I've never knew,
But when I'm way up here
Its crystal clear that now I'm-
Sugar Baby
The real sugar baby
All you other sugar babies
Are just imitating
So won't the real sugar baby please jump up?
Please jump up
Please jump up
Cuz I'm-
Just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid I know that's its not fair
Cuz it's-
19
19
19 bottles of beer on the wall,
19 bottles of beer
You take one down-
By the ocean down by the sea,
Jamie broke a bottle and blamed it on me
I told mama
Mama told papa
And Jamie got a woopen and a-
I hate you
You hate me
Lets gang up and-
Every night in my dreams,
I see you,
I feel you,
That is how I know-
I need an alarm system in my house
So I know when people are
Creeping about
These people are
Freaking me out
It's getting hectic just singing this song
Cuz I don't know
Anything else
Anything
Any---thing----else."
The boys stared at Seamus.
M was laughing so hard that her face was red.
Seamus grinned widely.
"Seamus there is something wrong with you."
Seamus smiled, "I know."
M stopped giggling and stared at the boys. I need to find K; looks like the singer can take over the trouble for a bit.
'See Ya Later, Harry!' she said. Harry heard her and looked at his bed as the little Yuuku disappeared with a faint pop.
"You see something, Harry?" Neville asked.
"No… nothing. Hey guys, I need to tell ya something."
xXxXxXxXx
A/N: Yes… the song is long and annoying and I LOVE IT! MUWHAHAHAH!
Lemons in the next chapter, I swears it. And yanno what, I am done with the next chapter. MUWHAHAHAH! 26 PAGES! And if you want it… I want reviews. Simple.
READ AND REVIEW!
Love Always,
Wish x Me x Dead
xx-Kari-xx
