Repost of chapter 4. Huge thanks as always to Ambush99 for betaing!
Chapter 4
A silence passed between them. "Sirius, I'm," James started, but no words seemed able to touch his friend's sacrifice. "I'm so sorry."
"Mate," Sirius said holding his hand up. "There's nothing to be sorry for, and anyway I obviously wasn't a very good one. I can feel it, it's broken."
James frowned for a moment as he tried to work out what Sirius had meant. "Padfoot. Oh mate, no. That was Dumbledore. It was draining you. You were trying to fight for us, but he didn't think you could anymore. He lifted the Fidelius charm, you didn't break."
"Oh, thank god," Sirius whispered softly. "When I didn't feel it's presence, I thought I'd betrayed my friends."
"Sirius, I know you would never betray us. That's why I agreed to you as my secret keeper." A notion that had sounded honourable, glamorous almost when they were young. But looking at the physical damage his friend had undergone, not to mention the untold mental damage; there was nothing glamorous about it. "Padfoot, I'm so sorry."
"No Prongs, don't. If our places had been exchanged and I had a kid Voldemort was hunting, would you've done the same?"
"Of course-"
"Exactly," Sirius said, cutting him off. "I made the choice. Not you, but me. No one forced me and I'd do it again. I'd do it a thousand times if it meant you, Lily and Harry were safe. So, please."
James watched his friend close his eyes for a moment. "Okay, will you accept a thank you?"
"Sure, as long as I can have some of that vintage firewhisky."
James found himself grinning. "Of course."
Sirius reached a bony arm out and seized the Daily Prophet from the bedside table. "Oh god! James, I am so sorry."
"What?"
Sirius held the paper in front of his friend, pointing at the headline, 'What next for Potter?' "Please tell me it's another Potter." But he knew it was pointless. The photo of the kid couldn't be anything but James' kid. He was a carbon copy of James when he was fourteen.
"No, don't you dare," James said, grabbing the paper out of Sirius' hand and tossing it to one side. "Don't you dare blame yourself for that! You did everything you could!"
"Clearly not, or Harry wouldn't be in that competition. He would be safe," Sirius growled.
"No! Damn it, Padfoot, do you know how close you were to death? According to Madam Pomfrey's diagnostic spells, you shouldn't have made it to our home. You shouldn't be here right now! If you had pushed harder, you may have never made it!"
"Seeing as I'm some form of medical miracle, then maybe I would have made it and Harry wouldn't have to compete!" Sirius countered.
"I'm serious, Sirius!" James exclaimed, frowning when his usual pun didn't get a response. "Harry's fine. Okay, it doesn't stop me being fucking terrified each time he steps up to one of those bloody tasks, but he's done bloody well. He won the first one, against fucking dragons!"
"Dragons?! Shit, if I'd, I'm sorry."
"It's okay mate, it's not your fault." James stopped and took a couple of calming breaths as he tried to regain composure. "Padfoot, where did you go?" he asked carefully.
"A dark place, Prongs."
James nodded sadly. "Do you want to talk about it?" He watched his friend shake his head. "Was...?"
"Yeah, Voldemort was there to start with."
"Then…?"
"I'm sorry James, I just can't. I know Dumbledore, you, god probably others want to know. I know I owe you an explanation, but-"
"No Padfoot, you don't owe anyone an explanation, least of all me." James said, putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder before pulling him into a hug. "The fact you are back, alive and going to be okay is more than I could ever wish for. When we get back to mine, we'll crack open that bottle of firewhisky and celebrate."
"Yours?"
"Oh Padfoot, don't be dumb. You think I'd let you go back to your parents' place, or find some room at the Leaky Caldron? No, of course you are coming back to mine. Anyway, you still have your room. You know, the one that's been yours since you were twelve."
"Thank you, Prongs."
"Don't mention it. You were around the whole time before, so why would it be any different now?"
Sirius held his head in his hands for a moment and nodded, as he struggled to process everything. "How's Remus?"
"He's okay."
Sirius frowned at James' less than enthusiastic reply. "What's he doing?"
"He's researching my family history."
"And…?"
"He's currently doing a job for Dumbledore, working undercover with werewolves," James replied bitterly.
"What?!" Sirius exclaimed, coughing. "That's sick. That's cruel. He hates that."
"I know," James replied darkly, handing his friend a glass of water. His brow knotted with concern as he watched his shaking hands and saw how tired Sirius suddenly looked. "But it's Moony, he'll be alright."
"And the moons?"
"I try to be there each time," James replied softy. "Sirius, you need to rest."
Sirius nodded as he closed his eyes. "And you've dealt with Peter?"
What should he say? 'Sorry mate, you didn't exactly give me a lot to go on', when he knew his friend had all but killed himself to get back and deliver the warning? "No, not yet," he replied finally. He watched in alarm as his friend's eyes snapped open and he started to try and get out of bed. "Padfoot? Padfoot, what are you doing? You need to rest. Madam Pomfrey will have my hide. You've got to tell me what's happening."
"He's here! I've got to stop him!" Sirius exclaimed as he continued to struggle against his friend.
"Padfoot, stop!" He rapidly thought of anything he could say to help link Sirius to a time of happiness. A time where he felt safe. "Padfoot, tell me what you know about Peter."
"He betrayed us."
"How do you know?" James asked carefully. He'd taken his friend's word as golden when he'd said Peter was alive and they couldn't trust him. After all it was Sirius, there was no one in the world he trusted more.
"He was there."
James nodded, clenching his jaw as bile rose up in his throat. Not only had Peter betrayed them, he'd played a part in the state Sirius was in. What had Sirius ever done to deserve the life he had led, he thought bitterly. "How do you know he's at Hogwarts?"
"My cousin, she..."
"It's okay, you're at Hogwarts. You're safe. You're not there anymore."
"I'm sorry, they feel so…"
"Real?" James helped. Wherever 'there' was he would find the damn place and burn it to the ground, he thought darkly.
"Yeah," Sirius breathed. "She, she had a newspaper and he was there, on the front cover. The Weasley family had won a holiday or something, and he was there, sitting on the youngest boy's shoulder."
How he wasn't sick at that point, James would never know. "Ron?"
"You know the boy?" Sirius asked.
"He's, he's Harry's best friend. No Sirius!" James exclaimed as he started to struggle again.
"Please James, I've got to do this, I've got to finish what I started," Sirius pleaded desperately. "It's what drove me on my journey back here. I'm Harry's godfather; it's my job to protect him. Please James, let me do this. Let me complete my mission."
"Okay, "James said nodding. "I'll get Madam Pomfrey."
"No!"
"Padfoot, she needs to check you out."
"No, she won't let me. She'll give me a sleeping draught. I've got to do this. I can't let that rat be near Harry for a moment longer!"
"Padfoot, calm down! I'll speak to her, I'll make her understand."
"You promise?"
"I solemnly swear," James replied with a smile. "We'll do this together."
"Thanks Prongs."
"It's what friends are for, right?" James turned and walked towards the nurse's office. He shook his head. Despite everything he had been through, Sirius still cared deeply about his friends.
"James, what if I'm wrong?" Sirius asked quietly after Madam Pomfrey finally left. She had insisted on numerous checks, giving him numerous potions and mentioned, on yet more numerous occasions, that she was not happy with it, and that he should not be leaving her hospital wing. That she still considered James and himself as irresponsible as she did when they were at school. But James had been good to his word; he was finally leaving the hospital wing and completing his mission.
"Wrong about what, mate?"
"Peter being here."
"How long have you known he was at Hogwarts?"
"Roughly since the 5th August."
"5th August?"
"Yeah, my cousin's newspaper had a photo of the Weasleys, that's when I saw him. That's when I knew I had to escape. I had to get back. I don't know how long it took me to get back, I lost all concept of time," Sirius said with a shudder. "I'm sorry James; I tried to get back sooner. But, the swim was long and I wasn't really sure of where I was going. When I finally made it to land, it look me a while to figure out where I was, so much had changed. Mate, I swear, I really do. I tried to get back sooner, I really did."
"Sirius, Sirius," James replied shaking his friend's shoulders. "Mate, I know you did. I know, you did everything you could to get back. I know that journey would have killed the vast majority of people, even if they were fighting fit. But it didn't kill you. You are too bloody strong, stubborn and sometimes, too bloody stupid for your own good!"
"And the Ministry?"
"What about the Ministry?"
Sirius sighed. "James, you can't hide it from me. I know there's a price on my head. I know I am the prime, the only suspect for Peter's 'death' and the muggles' murders. I swear to you I didn't. I couldn't kill innocent people. I've never used the killing curse, even when I was fighting death eaters as an auror."
"I know. I never believed you killed those people, nor did Lily, Remus, Dumbledore, the Longbottoms and a host of other people. We just didn't know what happened. A street blown apart, twelve muggles murdered, you disappear and all that was left of Peter was a finger and some bloody robes. What happened, mate?"
"It was stupid, I should've taken back up, but, well, you know what it was like then. I didn't know who I could trust. The only person I felt I could trust was you and you had gone into hiding. I figured out Peter was the spy. He was the common link when it came to information going to the dark side and my gut just said it was him. I guess, if it had been anyone else I would have taken back up or something, but it was Peter. We trusted him, I so nearly convinced you to make him your secret keeper. I just felt so betrayed, so angry and I was so stupid. I went to confront him; I think I thought I could convince him to come back to our side. That whatever he thought was right about the dark side wasn't worth it. I know I had failed with my brother, I regretted that. Reg wasn't a bad person, he'd just been corrupted, he had been brainwashed by my family. I don't think Peter was a bad person, I think he was scared. I think I thought that I could convince him that we would protect him like we did at school. But then he shouted, shot a curse and someone grabbed me from behind. We Side-Along Apparated; I don't remember a lot after that. I don't remember a lot of anything after that."
James took a shaky breath. It all made sense now. Voldemort had guessed Sirius was his secret keeper. To find him, he needed Sirius. Voldemort knew, from previous attempts, Sirius would never join him, would never go willingly to him, and so he needed to capture him. Sirius was always so careful; he never stayed in the same place for more than a couple of days. When he travelled anywhere he would take multiple forms of transportation. So Voldemort exploited one of Sirius' character traits, his undying loyalty to his friends. He knew he would go and try to help Peter. "Bastard," he muttered darkly.
"James, I'm fucked. I know you guys believe me but that's not going to be enough for the Ministry. They are going to send me to Azkaban."
"No they won't, I won't allow it."
Sirius sighed and shook his head. "Mate, as much as I admire the sentiment, I doubt you would have that influence. I guess I am still very much a wanted man."
"Your wand."
"I haven't seen it since that day."
"It's at the Ministry."
"They didn't perform the Prior Incantato?" Sirius said in disbelief.
"No, bloody Crouch was leading the investigation. The muggles had seen you yell at Peter, and then there was an explosion. For Crouch, that was enough. You were guilty," James muttered.
"He always hated me. I don't think there was a day that went by when he didn't try and have me kicked out of the aurors."
"I know, it used to drive Moody mad. But don't worry about Crouch; Amelia Bones is now Head of Law Enforcement, she'll be fair, she'll listen. With Prior Incantato, Veritaserum and your memories, you'll be fine. There's nothing there, there is no evidence linking you to that attack other than you were there trying to help a friend."
"I hope so Prongs, I hope so," Sirius replied in a small voice.
After seemingly many hours, Sirius slumped back in the chair, feeling more tired than he had ever felt in his whole life. Hours' worth of questions, memories extracted and watching his wand perform its last spells had left him utterly drained. He felt an encouraging hand pat him on the shoulder.
"You did good, mate," James said with a smile. Despite his earlier upbeat and encouraging words, he had been terrified about this meeting. He was somehow sure they would find a way to hold Sirius or something.
"Mr. Black, you'll be wanting this back," Amelia Bones said as she handed Sirius his wand.
"Thanks," he managed. He ran it between his fingers for a moment. It felt so foreign to him, but yet so familiar, like he had been reconnected with a part of himself that was missing. He felt that he could almost be whole again.
"You said Pettigrew is in the castle."
"Yes, he's here in the form of the rat. He's…" He looked at James for confirmation.
"Ron," James confirmed.
"Yes, he's Ron Weasley's rat," Sirius finished, before the rest of his sentence turned into a hacking cough. He missed the gasp from Amelia Bones' young assistant.
"Mr. Black. Sirius," Amelia said, her voice softening as she remembered the young, but highly talented, auror. "We can finish this another day."
"Mate, let's call it a day. You're still not well. You've done so much today, let's take a break," James said gently, as he wrapped an arm around his friend's shaking shoulders.
"No, I need to do this. James, you promised."
"Okay," James said simply, and nodded at Dumbledore. Who in turn nodded at Professor McGonagall.
"I guess we'd better get going," Ron said as he caught the crumpled piece of parchment. "You know how much Snape loves it when we are late for detentions."
Harry sat transfixed, staring at the map. "Mate, why is your brother in Dumbledore's office?"
"Brother? Mate, I have five of them, you are going to have to be more specific."
"Percy?"
"I have no idea."
"He's there with his boss Amelia Bones and…" Harry said trailing off. He knew those names, but how?
"And who?" Ron said as he wandered over. "Prongs and Padfoot? I've seen those names somewhere."
"I know, but I can't place them. I don't know."
"Mischief managed."
"Ron, what are you doing? I was looking at that," Harry exclaimed.
"I have an idea. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Ron said tapping the map. He watched as the words magically began to appear. 'Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are proud to present the Marauders' map'. "Harry, it's them. Padfoot and Prongs, they're here in the castle!"
"What?" Harry questioned. But, before he could ask further, he saw the 'Professor McGonagall' dot moving towards their dorm. "Mischief managed," he said quickly and stuffed the map into his robes.
"Ah, Potter, Weasley, you need to come with me," Professor McGonagall said, entering the dorm. "Oh and Weasley, bring your rat with you."
Harry and Ron exchanged looks. "But Professor, we have a detention with Professor Snape."
"It's been cancelled," Professor McGonagall said quickly as she swept through the common room. "Come on, the headmaster needs to see you urgently."
Ron glanced at Harry, his face a mixture of confusion and excitement. "What the hell does Dumbledore want with Scabbers?"
"I don't know mate," Harry replied.
"Wait till Fred and George hear about this, we are going to meet two of the Marauders! That's definitely worth a couple of mum's howlers."
