Hey guys, sorry for the whole long time no update thing.Thanks guys for reviewing, much appreciated smiles brightly.

Kinda depressing chapter andreally depressing to write, it almost hurts to kill off one of your own characters. A whole big chapter of depressiveness, so don't say i didn't warn you...


10. A Black Day

Karen froze, holding the phone loosely in her hand, her heart had sunk to the pit of her stomach. Her whole world suddenly crashing down around her, nothing to be the same again.

Jack's dead, Jack's dead, she kept repeating it in her mind, trying to make sense of the senseless words.

"What?" She asked dumbstruck. She heard the women cry down the telephone.

"He's dead, Karen. The boat he was on, it was in a storm and... he didn't make it. They found thirty-seven bodies, his was... never found. We're going to... have a funeral, just a gathering, no body. Would it be okay if we had it at mineral town? Only it was more Jack's home before he died." Jack's Mom whispered, her croaky voice shaking.

"Y... yes." Karen murmured, still completely numb.

"Thank you dear." She said.

"Will Jack be coming?" Karen asked before she thought about what she was saying. His Mom began to cry and she hung up the phone. Ann walked up to Karen looking worried.

"Is everything okay?" She asked, smiling nervously. Karen stared into space and felt tears run down her cheeks. Ann frowned edging closer, cocking her head in confusion.

"No, Jack's... he's... dead." Karen said before collapsing onto the ground crying. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't be. She was sure Jack would walk in and hug her and say "ha fooled you". She still couldn't believe it, he was gone, buried beneath the ocean waves, eaten by the storm. In those few minutes her life crumbled beneath her as Ann stared blankly into space and everyone in the inn was silent. But there was nothing to say, nothing that could bring Jack back.

That's how things stayed for a long time, no one dared to break the silence that followed the news of Jack's death, because everyone knew no matter what they said it wouldn't be heard. Had anyone asked her how she felt, she would have been unable to answer. The feeling was indescribable. Like a hollow space is inside her, that only Jack could fill and that's the irony, because he was the only one who couldn't be there to fill it. The thought that she would never see him again, she would never feel the touch of his skin or the warmth of his lips. The cold chill that went up and down her spine wouldn't stop and he was gone. It was just so unbelievable that he wasn't there anymore, and she'd never see him again. Suddenly, she just wanted to die, to end the suffering, because no matter what she did, the pain wouldn't ease.

The funeral was organised over the next week, it would be held in the church, the service and the reading of what would be given to whom. Afterwards they would proceed to the beach and set fire to a wooden boat for him and send it off to sea.

Everyone had been bustling around asking whether Karen thought Jack would have wanted the chicken or the salmon, perhaps lobster? Karen's answer to all of these questions was "he wouldn't have wanted a funeral at all". This left the questioner silent as they went off to ask someone else. Popuri and Ann tried to organise most things, letting Karen mope in peace. She felt so detached from the rest of the world though, she kept seeing Jack everywhere, she had even begun to talk to him. But she felt as dead as he was, she wished she was. Because there was nothing left to live for. She hadn't said much to anyone since the news, she didn't have anything to say. But the first thing she uttered in the four days after was "what shall I say".

"What do you mean what shall I say?" Ann asked worriedly, but glad to hear Karen speak again.

"I have to say something... about him... at the..." Karen mumbled slowly, her words were almost incoherent. Ann understood and nodded handing her a pen and paper.

"Start writing something. Remember what I told you when you were trying to pick between Rick and Jack, follow your heart." Ann said kindly. Karen nodded and wandered off to write her speech, while everyone else prepared for the funeral.

The dark, bleak day of the funeral arrived. Although it was spring the weather was still dull. The sky was a stony grey and the clouds threatened to engulf everything. Karen wore a black dress and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes had huge dark bags under them from lack of sleep and her skin was ghostly white.

"Jack, be with me today." She whispered as she walked out of the house with her parents.

Everyone was sitting in the church in complete silence. Jack's recently recovered dad stepped up to the podium and cleared his throat whilst Karen took a seat at the front next to Jack's Mom.

"Thank you everyone for coming. I'm sure you all know Jack, some perhaps better than others. But as you all probably know he was a great man. As great a son, boyfriend and friend as anyone could ever know." He smiled weakly at his wife and Karen at this point.

"He died a tragic death and today we're all here to say goodbye. Jack, wherever you are, I just want to say, you were the best son a dad could ever have, and I love you more than any dad could love his son. My wife has a speech prepared too." He said softly before walking quickly from the stage before tears began to pour from his eyes.

Mrs. Hunter, Jack's Mom walked shakily onto the stage and looked over the black mass. Her eyes were red from crying and she had even bigger bags under her eyes than Karen.

"Jack was the best son a mother could ask for. He was kind and caring and he had the ability to see the best in people, even when they couldn't see it in themselves. He died a tragic death, going home after caring for his sick dad, he died caring for others. I'm sure he made all of us, at one point, feel better about ourselves when we needed to most. He had the great ability to find the silver lining in everything. Ironic, seeing as the person we need to see a silver lining in this, is the one person who can't be here. So I just want to say goodbye to my son, even though you're gone, you've left a tiny bit behind within us, our belief in ourselves. Now Karen, will you come up here and say a few words?" She choked out the last words as she began to cry. Karen walked up and looked at everyone cautiously, watching the tears form in their eyes. I must not cry, she told herself.

"Hello everyone, most of you I've known my whole life. I'm glad that you could all be here at the time I need you the most, but you all have always been there for me. I've had advice on what to say today, because honestly I had no idea. What do you say to a dead person you hadn't seen for months before they died? I was told to speak from my heart, just like I was told before I fell in love with Jack. It was my heart that welcomed him into my life and it'll be my heart that says goodbye to him now. Jack, you were the one thing in my life that I ever thought would be permanent, because I'm so unstable. You were my rock and even when I did stupid things that should have changed everything, you forgave me and let everything stay the same. But now you're gone... and... and I have no idea what I'm going to do without you. But, like I'm sure you would have told me, I have to move on, I have to get along without you. But no matter where you are and even though you're gone, you're still my rock and I'll still... I'll still... love you." Karen felt the tears fall from her cheeks as she made her way down to her seat. Carter looked solemnly at her and then took up the stage.

"Jack never wrote a will, so all his worldly possessions go to his parents, they can give away his things as they please." Carter said. Mr. Hunter whispered something to his wife and they both nodded.

"We don't want any of his possessions here in Mineral Town, so everyone can just go to his house and take what they want. The farm can be put up for sale if that's alright with Karen?" Mr. Hunter asked. Karen nodded, she didn't want to let Jack's farm be taken over by anyone else, but she didn't want it either.

After the heart breaking ceremony they proceeded to the beach. They marched mournfully through the streets, a black procession of people like a dark cloud drifting across the land, and they stood in a line before the sea. A little wooden boat filled with hay sat on the white sand, Carter handed Karen a torch with a big blazing flame. She took a deep breath then lit the hay, they all pushed the boat out then watched as it sailed to the horizon.

"Goodbye Jack, I still... love you." She whispered as the fiery boat sailed across the sea, burning to a cinder, the smoke rising off like a misty soul into the dark abyss of the sky. They then sang a few hymns, including Jerusalem. They then all went to Jack's house to pick out things they wanted. Karen didn't go, she couldn't watch his house be ripped apart, even if he was gone.

After the funeral it truly hit Karen, like a giant tombstone, Jack really was gone. She would never again hear his voice or his laugh, she'd never see his chocolate brown eyes, never watch his smile, never feel the touch of his skin, never smell his "Jack" smell and never hear him say "I love you". She had never even gotten to tell him she loved him before he had died.

She recalled the phone call with a shudder. She couldn't shake the nagging voice inside her saying "if you'd only told him to come home, if only you hadn't let him stay another month, he might still be here". It kept going through her head as she arrived in her room and her parents weren't yet home. Still it swirled around the vortex of her mind as she reached for the cold blade.

Still she heard herself telling him he could stay as her pain inside was sliced onto her skin. She could still hear him ask "really" again as she watched the rose red blood trickle down her arm and form a puddle on the floor. She could still hear him tell her he loved her as her mother screamed. She heard the silence after she hung the phone up as she fainted and she could hear the beeping down the phone as she lay in the hospital.

When she came to she saw her family and friends looking at her with not only worry and concern, but fear. She felt a sudden guilt, she'd let them down again. She sat up and felt her arms ache. She looked down at the bloody bandages and saw everyone sigh with relief.

"What the hell did you think you were doing Karen? I thought you were smarter than that." Ann shouted and her head swam, she felt like she'd had the worst hangover ever, with just as bad repercussions.

"I'm sorry, did my misery upset you?" She asked sarcastically. Ann glared at her and Popuri whimpered.

"Karen, we're just worried. You could have been really hurt." Popuri whispered timidly.

"I'm already hurt. What does it matter to you what I do to make myself feel better?" Karen asked angrily. Popuri cowered next to Ann as she scowled.

"What, you think cutting yourself is a healthy way of dealing with your pain? Was this for attention? Was it a cry for help? "Oh look at me no one can understand what I'm going through, I'm so depressed"." Ann said in a mocking voice. Karen glared at her fuming.

"Are you done making me feel better?" She asked sarcastically, her voice even and cutting. Popuri began to cry and Sasha and Jeff walked out of the room.

"Oh I'm not trying to make you feel better Karen. I'm telling you to get over it, this isn't going to make the pain go away. I know how you feel, Jack was my friend too. I know that my pain isn't even close to yours, but can you at least understand that we know what you're going through. We know you're suffering but you've got to trust us, the wounds will heal. They'll leave scars, sure, but they won't hurt anymore Karen. Just let us help you bandage the wounds and care for you okay? Because you wouldn't want to make any of us feel the pain you're feeling now, okay?" Ann said.

Karen nodded in defeat and then began to weep uncontrollably, her body shaking. That started Popuri and Ann off crying and they all hugged, holding onto each other as though for dear life. Soon Elli walked in slowly to change Karen's bandages, finding walking steadily harder with her swelling belly, and she ushered Ann and Popuri out.

"How are you feeling Karen?" Elli asked taking off the old bandages, her hands working delicately across her scared skin.

"Words can't describe how I'm feeling." Karen said coldly. Elli flinched, but nodded calmly. She threw the bloody bandages in the bin and unwrapped new ones.

"You don't need to describe it. I know how you feel." Elli said wrapping the new bandages onto Karen's arm.

"Really?" Karen said sounding bored. Elli frowned but nodded, examining Karen's clean white bandages.

"Yes, remember when Ellen died. Trust me, it's the same sense of loss." Elli said.

"Really?" Karen said sounding unconvinced, in the same monotone voice as she had said it before.

"Yes." Elli said with a bitter frown, she then pulled up her sleeves to show a dozen white scars on each arm. Karen gasped.

"Elli I had no idea..." She said completely shocked, Elli was the least likely suspect for something like that. Elli nodded and made a face.

"You're the only one who knows, not even the Doctor, he thinks a cat scratched me. Poor old Nora got the blame." Elli said shaking her head. Karen sighed and smiled at Elli.

"Thanks Elli." Karen said, although it was nice to know she was not the only one who had been through something like this, it didn't ease the pain at all.

"It's no problem Karen. But trust me, it gets easier." She said smiling. She then drew the blue curtains and left Karen alone in her room.

"Does it?" She whispered unsurely, once Elli had left.

The next day Karen was released from hospital and left in the custody of her parents, which was perhaps worse. They kept giving her awkward glances every so often to break the silence that had been there since they greeted her. She could almost hear what was going through their minds though, she could feel their concern and she could see plainly on their faces how they felt. But she kept glancing around, like a scared animal for signs of Jack. She could almost hear him talking to her, telling her how stupid she had been, but that was nonsense, he was dead. She could see him in the corner of her eyes and every time she turned to face him, he wasn't there.

"Jack?" She mumbled, making her parents glance worriedly at each other. Jeff coughed and Sasha wrapped Karen in her arms making her jump.

"Karen, sweetie, Jack's dead." Sasha reminded her hastily. Karen stared wide-eyed at Sasha, as if she didn't know that. But did she, she kept seeing him and hearing him, it was almost like he was there.

Karen stared out of the window in the shop, sitting on a counter. Everyone stared at her when they walked in and continued to stare while they bought their supplies. They all would glance at her arm quickly, to see the extent of the damage. Eventually Manna and Anna walked in together, collecting ingredients for a cake they were making. They spotted Karen and began to whisper, loud enough that she could hear.

"So it's true." Anna whispered staring at her with a smirk on her face.

"Yes, I wonder how it looks behind the bandages..." Manna said, forcing a worried expression. Karen just continued to stare out of the window, trying to ignore them and pretend she couldn't hear.

"Poor dear, she's gone nuts after the loss of that farm boy." Anna whispered shaking her head. "Shut up, shut up, shut up." A voice screamed in Karen's head.

"In my opinion he's not worth it, she never should have left Rick. How long do you think it'll be until they wheel her off to the madhouse?" Manna said giggling slightly.

"Not long, but I wonder if she won't join Jack before that." Anna murmured. Manna gasped and stared at Karen harder.

"You don't mean...?" Manna asked, rather louder than she meant to. She then clapped her hand over her mouth and pretended to be picking some spices of a rack.

"I do." Anna said with a nod that invited intrigue. Karen spun round and glared at them.

"Shut up, you evil little... How dare you? You think this is funny, let's see how you would feel if your husbands died shall we? In fact, if you already think I'm off my rocket, why don't I show you exactly how it feels?" Karen spat at them outraged. They looked completely shocked and Anna began to shake uncontrollably. Her strange hair cut shivering like a giant mole. Just then Jeff burst into the room and gave Karen an angry glare then looked apologetically at Ann and Manna.

"I'm so sorry ladies, she didn't mean that..." He said sheepishly. Karen scowled at him and shook her head.

"I meant every word of it dad." She said coldly and with that she ran out of the room. She darted over to Mother's hill to contemplate whether she did in fact mean every word. She sat on top of the mountain and gazed out over the trees below.

"Oh Jack, why did you have to leave?" Karen asked the air in front of her. The wind whistled around her, blowing her long hair in all directions. She heard footsteps behind her and turned around to see Ann.

"Those cows were gossiping about you, weren't they?" Ann said grimacing, the story had already spread across town, at least Ann could guess the truth. Karen nodded and continued to look over to the horizon.

"You might want to try not convincing everyone you're crazy though... just a suggestion." Ann said gently. Karen nodded again, refusing to look Ann in the eyes.

"I know you're in a bad place right now, but just remember we're here for you, kay?" Ann said with a wink. Karen nodded, still not looking at Ann. Ann sighed and turned back down the mountain.

The next day Jack's parents were due to go back home, Karen stood with them at the docks waiting for their boat.

"You know Karen if you ever need anything come to us. You're like a daughter to us now." Mrs. Hunter said smiling. Mr. Hunter nodded in agreement and put down the suitcases to hug Karen.

"If you're ever in America come by and visit us. Jack would have wanted us to keep in touch." Mr. Hunter said letting go of Karen.

"Thank you and take care. I hope we see each other again sometime." Karen said sweetly. Although she really didn't feel like being nice to people, the Hunters were some of the sweetest people she had met and she couldn't be surly with them. They nodded and Mrs. Hunter gave Karen one last hug. The boat arrived and the captain came to take their bags. He tipped his hat at Karen and winked making her smile slightly.

"Goodbye dear." Mrs. Hunter said with a wave.

"Goodbye!" Karen shouted to them on the ship. The ship sailed away once again, like so many ships carrying people she loved had. She sighed and sat down in the sand, every trace of life outside Mineral Town was gone. She heard someone behind her and stood up to see Rick looking sheepish.

"Hey Karen. We were wondering, Mom, Popuri, Kai and me, if you'd like to have dinner with us tonight..." He said nervously. Karen looked blankly at him showing no sign that she had heard.

"I mean it's okay, if you don't want to..." Rick said sounding even more uncomfortable.

"Sure, that'd be nice." Karen said unconvincingly. Rick smiled and nodded but just stood there while she waited for him to go away. After a while he sat down next to her and looked over the horizon.

"I'm sorry Karen. Sorry for everything. I know we haven't been the best of friends for a while now and I miss it. I just want to help you, I'm done being a jerk." He said sounding flustered.

"Mmmm." Karen said softly, closing her eyes and trying to block out his sounds.

"Well anyway, see you tonight." Rick said sounding upset. She then continued to stare blankly over the ocean that had killed Jack.

That evening she headed over to the poultry farm in a pretty dress. She greeted Popuri and Kai with hugs, gave Lillia some chocolates from the store and gave Rick a somewhat awkward hug. They then sat down to dinner and they all talked like before Jack's death, like nothing was wrong. It was nice to forget for an evening, pretend like it was old times, like she and Rick were still close friends and Lillia was still trying to set them up. Finally they settled by the fire recalling "the good old days" as Kai liked to call it.

"Remember when you lost your first tooth Karen and I wanted to be just like you, so I loosened and pulled out one of mine?" Rick said laughing. Karen giggled and helped herself to a chocolate out of the open box.

"I remember when Rick told me there was a monster under my bed that would eat me if I didn't do as he said. I was his slave for an entire day until you told me the truth Karen!" Popuri said, faking a scowl at Rick.

"I remember when we all went for a nature hike up the mountain for church school and Rick slipped and broke his leg." Karen said grinning.

"Oh yeah! He had a cast for weeks!" Kai said snorting with laughter, remembering fondly one of the first summers he had been at mineral town.

"That cast was so itchy, but I was so happy when you guys all signed it." Rick said smiling fondly at the memories.

"That was all such a long time ago, I remember a time when you and Karen said you would get married and be together for ever." Lillia said dreamily. Popuri and Kai laughed but Rick and Karen were silent.

"What went wrong?" Rick asked after a while. Karen looked him in the eyes.

"I did." She said. Everyone then fell silent.

"No, I think it was just time." Rick said truthfully and Karen smiled. They all helped clean up the dishes and Rick offered to walk Karen home, as she wasn't allowed to be left unsupervised.

They walked into the beautiful Spring evening and turned the corner to Karen's house. They arrived outside and then sat on the bench looking at the stars.

"Thanks for this evening Rick, I had a great time. I almost forgot about..." She said, suddenly going silent.

"Thank you for coming Kar, I missed us being friends." Rick said smiling.

"Me too. I think... I think things will be better now." Karen said hopefully.

"I think you're right." Rick said nodding. Rick gave Karen one last hug and watched as she walked towards her door, checking that she was in safely before walking home.


Well there we go then, toldja it was depressing, trust me things get happier. But you know, things can only get worse in a tragedy...