Aura POV

The sun broke through my sleep very abruptly. It felt like it was in the room with me. I opened my eyes a crack and was rewarded with blindness and a throb to my skull. My hand covered my eyes as I groaned. I attempted to roll over but was met with a body. I nearly had crushed Tegan, but I succeeded in waking her up.

"Mmf- Wha?" she mumbled, as startled as she could be for just being roused. I more gently turned in my spot to face her and gave her a peck on the lips.

"Morning. Sorry about trying to squish you. The sun is bright as fuck," I rasped. My voice box had not yet joined the land of the living. Tegan responded by pulling me in closer and snuggling her head into my neck, her face turned down to my chest.

"Don't like morning. Like sleep. Sleep good," she whined into my chest. I draped an arm over her and hugged. This didn't seem like the worst way to wake up. In fact, it was a pretty damn good way to wake up. The scent of her hair floated to my nose, and I kissed the top of her head. I started to hum a tune. It struck me as odd. I never hummed to myself or anyone else. Was I seriously that happy in Tegan's arms? What tune is this anyway? I didn't have to wait long, because she began to softly sing along.

"You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away," she ended with a kiss to my sternum. Had I really been humming that song? Had she really just sung along?

"I can't believe that just happened," I thought aloud.

"What can't you believe?" Tegan asked.

"That I hummed, you sang along, and that it was that song. I didn't even know I was humming until right before you joined. It's a little…disconcerting," I blushed. She moved away from me to meet my eyes.

"Leave it to you to use big words like 'disconcerting' when you first wake up," she grinned. "And what is so disconcerting about it?"

"First off," I paused to stick out my tongue. "And second off, I've never done that. Had that happen. I think- I think it shows just how far down the rabbit hole I am."

"Okay. Big words and weird metaphors. Too early. What?" Tegan looked even more confused and almost concerned.

"Alice in Wonderland. Fall down the rabbit hole. Falling. Down the rabbit hole. For you…" I tried to elaborate without actually saying what I meant.

"Oh," was all Tegan quietly offered. It didn't help me much. I knew she was into me and enjoying our little tryst, but if serious feelings were going to form, then I needed more confirmation that the feelings were being reciprocated. I never had someone feel for me the way I felt for them. Every past relationship I had, I always loved them more. I fell hard and I fell fast. The word 'crush' wasn't even in my vocabulary. I wasn't so nervous about sharing my thoughts with Tegan. I didn't even break eye contact when I explained the rabbit hole. My walls were slowly crumbling, and the gate was lowering. I knew exactly what this meant.

I was beginning to trust Tegan.

Even with love or compassion or any of the other 'good' emotions, trust was probably the biggest to me. I could love someone and not trust them, but if I trusted them… It was too much. It usually took several months for someone to win my trust after we start dating. Tegan and I barely met a couple days ago. Had it really been a couple days already?

"I need to shower," I stated as I rose mechanically out of the bed. I walked around it to the bathroom and nearly had the door shut.

"Me neither," Tegan's voice was weak and almost missed my ears. I froze in place. My head spun. I stepped just outside the bathroom to meet Tegan's eyes.

"You neither what?" I asked, trying my best to keep all vocal intonation neutral.

"I've never had that happen before. This happen before. I think the rabbit hole has us both," she replied, still weak in volume. I blinked for a moment just staring at Tegan, and she became very interested in a loose string in the comforter.

One of my biggest weaknesses has always been that I was a doormat. I let people walk all over me, and I justified it with the idea that at least I knew I was a good person. If someone used me, that reflected on them, not me. Over time I had grown into a much stronger person with the ability to say 'no' when I felt it was too much. However, I still had a certain inability to just let someone I cared about be in pain if I could help it. If there was any concern, love, companionship, caring, feeling, on my part for you, then I didn't have it in me to sit idly by while you were hurt, even if I was the one potentially hurting you. I've been known to comfort the person that broke up with me, while tears were still streaming down my face.

So when Tegan looked so dejected by my robotic actions and tones, I found myself kneeling on the bed in front of her before I realized I had taken a single step. My fingers guided her face to mine.

"Hey," I got her attention and eye contact. "There's a lot going on in my head right now. That doesn't mean you're losing me or that I'm shutting you out, but I don't want to lose you or have you shut me out, either. Especially not because I have feelings that you don't. I just need to know that you understand what you're getting yourself into. You're welcome to say at any time that it's too much, or you don't feel the same, or you just want to be friends, or anything like that. I only expect honesty. I just- It's getting a lot more…real…on my end, and I need to know how real it is on your end." By the end of my mini speech, Tegan's eyelashes had become wet with tears.

"Unbelievably…undeniably…thrillingly…terrifyingly real," she spoke as one tear broke free and trickled down her warm cheek. Her eyes closed as my thumb brushed the damp trail away. I placed my lips on one eye and then the other, collecting the moisture.

"No need for tears, hun," I soothed. "There's no reason to be sad."

"I'm not sad," her voice crackled. "I'm scared. I was honest about the 'terrifyingly' part."

"I'm scared as hell, too," I gave a weak smile. She grinned back a little and laid her forehead on mine.

"So you really do lose the filter when you get to know someone better, don't you?" Tegan asked.

I answered with another of my comments from the previous night, "Drunk words are sober thoughts."