Hey guys, yes once again i want to start by answering reviews? Why? Because i'm just too gosh darn lazy to click on that little button that says reply... it's just too difficult! But anyway, let's do the answery thingy:

DoubleKK: Yeah I just had to have him do that! And no Rick's not gay, just really, really camp. I mean i personally think he is, but in this story he supposedly isn't... you know what? I really confuse myself S!

GeneralDragon: lol as I said above, not actually gay, he just seems gay! But yay! Keep on reading and you may be surprised...

Kumiko Katawa: Seriously no falling of the love kind for Matty and Rick and yeah you're right Karen kinda does have a little crush on Matty, but he's gay... sad.

Anyway, that's about it... so let's continue shall we?


21. Fashion Victim

A few days after the party Karen skipped into the inn, searching for Matty so they could start early on the farm work. He hadn't been at the farm so she had assumed he'd be at the inn, where he went usually when he was in the mood for a large breakfast. Sure enough she founds him there, hidden behind a fashion magazine with a bowl of finished cereal beside him.

"No cooked breakfast today?" Karen asked, taking a seat beside him. He glanced up at her and smiled, his blue eyes flashing happily.

"No. I couldn't eat, I'm too nervous." He said with a huge grin. She grinned curiously wondering why he would be nervous.

"Why?" She asked, her eyes filled with innocent curiosity, like a kitten shining with ignorance of the world. Matty tapped his nose gently and gave her a wink.

"I'm afraid my little Karen, that's for me to know and for you to find out." He told her, finally putting down his magazine to watch her reaction. He savoured the enjoyment of seeing her frown and lean further down into her chair. He ran a hand through his jet black hair and picked up his magazine again.

"Can I see?" She asked, switching seats so she was sitting next to him. He held the magazine so she could see it and she looked at all of the pretty people in amazing outfits. Some were completely out of this world, but some seemed exactly what she would wear.

"They're all too skinny." Karen said frowning. Matty nodded gravely and looked down self-consciously at his own stomach.

"You're right, unnaturally so." He said with a smile. He put down the magazine again and gazed over at the bar. "Would you like a drink?"

"Umm yeah, milk please." She said sweetly. Matty went to the bar and returned with a glass of white milk and a troubled look on his face. He sat down again and sighed, watching as Karen downed half the glass of milk in a single gulp.

"You seem worried." She told him after a while. He shrugged, she'd never seen him like this, so upset. "Turn that frown upside down."

"I will lovely. But first I have to find something out." He told her. Karen furrowed her brow and made a face, she wished he wouldn't keep secrets from her.

"What?" She asked, sounding exasperated. He looked at her again and shook his head, increasing her frustration. "Whatever. When are we gonna begin work on the farm?"

"Can't today, I'm afraid I have to stay at the inn." He told her, his face was abnormally pale.

"All day?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"What about the animals?"

"I fed them this morning." He told her. Karen breathed a sigh of relief, he had thought of everything. She calmed herself and placed her hand on his gently, showing her support.

"That's fine. I could do with a break, whatever happens and whatever this secret is I'll be there for you, kay?" She promised kindly. Matty looked at her, from his face she could tell this wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Yeah." He sighed, he sounded both worried and depressed. Whatever it was had to be hurting him, but he also seemed excited. She shrugged, it was probably nothing, he was probably just having an off day.

"Well I'll see ya later." She said as she stood up, stretching. She flicked her hair back and bent down to kiss him on the cheek. He watched her leave and then picked up his magazine again, he couldn't tell her yet, not until he knew.

Karen headed down the street wondering what to do with herself. She used to be able to entertain herself with the slightest things, but now it was harder. She could always watch television, snuggling up in the middle of winter was always nice, but Rick would be there. She wanted to stay with Matty at the inn, but she had a feeling he wouldn't like that. But she could go back later and check he was alright. She thought for a while wondering what she hadn't done or who she hadn't seen in a while... well there was Jack, but then there was the small matter of him being dead. She had seen pretty much everyone a little, but she hadn't seen Elli properly in a while.

They used to be such great friends, but they lost their closeness once Elli started training to be a nurse, that and their interests had diverged. She could always visit Elli and stop over for a spot of tea, she smiled, that sounded like a plan. She arrived at the hospital and found it empty, Lillia was the main visitor and Karen had checked she was safely tucked up in bed that morning. She greeted the doctor at the front desk and scanned the room for Elli.

"Hello Karen, not ill are you?" The doctor asked, sliding his hand into his draw for a needle, oh how he loved giving injections. It was just like when he used to play doctor at pre-school, except with actual drugs.

"No, no nothing like that," she said eying where his hand was going, "no I'm looking for Elli." The doctor retracted his hand from the door quickly.

"Oh really, she'll be glad to see you, she's just upstairs taking care of the baby. You know she's starting to walk now." The doctor said proudly.

"Has it been that long already?" Karen asked, her eyes wide. She realised how quickly time had flown and how little she'd seen the child.

"Yep, they grow up so fast." The doctor said, with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"How old is little Elody now?" She asked, remembering the first time she met her. She remembered how innocent those blue eyes had been, so unaware of the horrors lying waiting for her in time.

"Oh she's almost in her terrible two's. Almost ready to walk I'd say." He said with a happy smile. Karen nodded and looked up the stairs, it'd be nice to spend time with both mother and daughter.

"I think I'll go see them then. Nice talking to you Dr. Mason." She said with a smile as she headed up the stairs. She walked in and found the peaceful scene of Elli playing with Elody. Elli was wearing her usual blue and white nurse's dress and Elody seemed to match in a pretty blue dress. Elody looked at Karen innocently with big blue eyes, she looked so big now.

"Hello Elody!" Karen crooned softly. Elody smiled a little smile and looked to her mother for identification of the stranger.

"Oh hello Karen. It's been a long time, please take a seat, would you like some tea?" Elli asked standing up and walking over to the kitchen. Karen shook her head and smiled, crouching down next to Elody. She was playing with some toy horses and it was obvious that Elli had been playing too. Elli put on the kettle and then sat down next to Karen watching her carefully.

"How have you been Karen... with everything?" She asked her kindly. Karen looked at her cautiously, she could tell this was awkward for Elli, after all she had been having the perfect housewife life and had no idea of what Karen had suffered.

"Oh you know. Things are looking up... but what about you! With your beautiful baby daughter here." Karen said changing the subject swiftly. Elli seemed keen for a subject change too and kept with it, describing the difficulties of the first few months. Karen gazed enviously at Elli and Elody, she wanted a child too, but not with Rick. She couldn't bring up a child in a home where its parents didn't love each other. Sighing she looked at her worn wristwatch and realised it was time to go.

"Sorry Elli, looks like I've gotta go. Thanks for having me." She said, standing up and stretching her legs. Elli shook her head smiling.

"No problem, come by anytime. Me and Elody love the company, don't we sweetheart?" Elli asked her little daughter. Elody gurgled in response and gave Karen a huge smile, making her melt.

"Thanks, I'll see you again then. Bye Elody." Karen said with a smile. She took one last glance at the happy mother and child before heading out again. She shivered in the bitter cold of the outside and looked at the trees, leafless and ready to be reborn in the summer. She walked over to the inn and looked inside finding Matty there on the phone. She slunk in silently and watched him nervously, wondering if it was okay to eavesdrop on his conversation.

"Really? That's so great! You won't regret it." Matty said excitedly into the speaker. He paused while the person was speaking to him on the other side. "Mmm. Yes that'll be fine. No way it's no problem." He paused again. "Yes, I'll just get everything ready..." Once again he paused, he looked both sad and happy at the same time, if that was possible. "No it won't take long." He took a deep breath while the other person spoke again. "A month." He paused and looked worried again. "Too long? Two weeks then?" "Fine." He smiled and nodded. "Yes, can't wait. Thank you, you won't regret this." He then hung up the phone.

Karen furrowed her brow in confusion, she had no idea what he was talking about, catching only half the conversation. Matty spotted her and immediately a guilty look flashed across his face, he looked like a child who'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"What was that about?" Karen asked, trying to sound casual and not worried.

"That was "Passion"." He said calmly. Karen showed no sign of knowing what he meant so he elaborated. "The biggest fashion company in the world at the moment!" Karen's face brightened when she understood and she nodded.

"They want me to be one of their fashion designers!" He said excitedly. Karen felt like jumping for joy, she was so happy for him, this was his dream come true.

"Oh my gosh, I am so happy for you Matty. This is your dream! This is your big break... What's wrong?" She asked, spotting a sad look appear on his face.

"The job's in America." He said, taking a deep breath. The smile on her face faded immediately.

"America?"

"Yes I have to move there. I have two weeks to sell everything on the farm, pack up and leave..." He said. Karen felt tears appearing in her eyes and quickly wiped them away, he wasn't going to do that, he couldn't do that to her... could he?

"You're not going to go though... are you?" She said, trying to make it into a statement. He couldn't leave her, he just couldn't, he was the only one making her life bearable.

"Karen, I have to. This is my big break, I may never get this chance again. If I don't take the job now... I have to take the job." He said firmly. She felt the tears trickling down her cheeks and burning her face.

"B...but you can't leave." She told him. He pulled her into his arms making soothing sounds; he'd known she'd take the news badly.

"I have to Karen. Can't you be happy for me?" He asked. Karen scowled, he was going to put this on her now, make it seem like she was being a bad friend.

"I was happy for you, until you mentioned America." She said coldly.

"It doesn't matter. I'll love you no matter where I go, you know that right?" He asked softly. She nodded, she'd love him too.

"But I'll never see you again." She said, choking on her tears. He ran his hand soothingly down her back and kissed her on the cheek.

"Yes you will, I'll come and visit you." He told her. She shook her head and bit her lip.

"No you won't. The last person who left me... never came back." She said. Matt's blue eyes widened, he knew that she was thinking of Jack.

"That was different Kar, I'm not going to die." He told her firmly. She breathed in deeply, trying hard to believe him.

"I don't know that." She said, looking into his shining blue eyes. She noticed they were filled with tears too, tears of pity and of sadness.

"I promise, and I never break my promises." He told her, stroking her hair gently. She snorted, leaning away from his hand.

"I seem to remember you promising never to leave me and now you're about to break that." She said bitterly.

"And I never will leave you. 'Cos until I stop loving you or forget you, I'll still be with her." He said, achieving a small laugh.

"That is so corny, what crappy movie did you get that from?" She joked. Matty made a mock offended face.

"That came from the heart."

"Oh. Well it was corny." She said, trying to smile. She sat on Matty's lap and buried her face into his chest, remembering his smell, like cinnamon and vanilla and something else that she couldn't place.

"Yeah, but its true okay. I promise I'll be back, okay, I won't leave you." He promised. Karen looked into his honest eyes and wished she could believe him, but after Jack... she just couldn't.

"I don't know what I'll do without you." She told him, infinite hurt swimming in her emerald green eyes. Matty would always remember those eyes, those strange but beautiful green eyes.

"You'll be fine, you're a strong girl." He told her, rubbing her back reassuringly.

"No I'm not. I've just always been strong around you. You don't know what I was like before you... everyday I was struggling not to give up." She said. He swallowed, he'd heard about what she had done after Jack's death, attempted suicide. After he went, what was to stop her going all the way?

"You're brave Karen and the people around you won't let you give up, you're too precious to them." He told her. It was true, the people around her all cared for her deeply, even those who barely knew her. Karen snorted.

"They need me as much as a hole in the head."

"They need you more than you know Karen. I need you." He told her. She tried to smile, but she physically couldn't.

"You won't need me in America, you'll meet loads of other ga... guys and you'll forget all about me. You'll get a partner, adopt kids and live in a little pink mansion and forget I ever existed." She said indignantly. He chuckled at the idea of a pink mansion and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Yeah I could have all that and don't get me wrong, it would be perfect. I'd love it. But I could never love any guy as much as I love you and if I weren't gay I would marry you." He said smiling. She felt a twinge of resentment of the fact that he was gay.

"Can't you turn not gay?" She asked hopefully, her eyes shining. He chuckled again.

"Wish I could honey, but that would be a lie."

"Can I come with you... to America?" She asked. He felt touched that she wanted to come with him and leave her life behind, but he shook his head.

"I would love so much for you to be with me. But you have a life back here." He told her, looking around the inn as if to demonstrate his point. "I won't if you leave." Karen thought to herself.

"Oh yeah, some life: Parents who barely acknowledge me as their daughter, a husband who I can't stand and friends who are too busy with their own lives to help me deal with mine." She said bitterly. He shook his head quickly.

"No, parents who love you and are proud of you no matter what, a husband who would do anything to have you love him and friends who love and care so much about you. Why can't you see that?" He asked, he sounded hurt that she couldn't see the love all around her.

"You may say it, but I don't see it." She said morosely. Matty sighed, there was no getting through to her.

"I'm sorry Karen, but I've got to leave. I'm going to leave, can't you just be happy for me?" He asked sadly. She forced a slight smile onto her face.

"I am happy for you, but it doesn't mean I'm not going to miss you." She said hugging him tightly.

"I'll miss you too and I'll call you everyday." He promised. Karen knew he would, she knew he'd call her and write her everyday if she wanted but she shook her head.

"No, you'll have your own life to get on with. Just call or write me once in a while, let me know how you're getting on." She said softly.

"I will." He said. She smiled and hugged him tightly as though if she let go he'd slip away. They stayed hugging for as long as they could, getting strange looks from all of the residents of mineral town.

"You'd better go announce the good news," she told him. "I'm going to go home and rest, I'll see you tomorrow."

She then walked quickly out of the inn, she couldn't stay there, she couldn't stand knowing he'd be gone in two weeks.

She flung herself into her bed and cried into the soft white pillow, wondering if she could suffocate herself with it. She heard a soft knock on the door and looked up to see Rick's concerned face.

"I heard crying and I came up to see if you were okay." He said softly. She sat up and looked into his pale grey eyes. Why was it that he could be so hateful one minute and so kind and caring the next?

"No not really. Matty's leaving." She said opening up to him for once. Rick swallowed, he knew that would remind her of Jack.

"It'll be okay, it's not the same as when Jack left." He assured her, his voice less annoying than usual.

"Why is it everyone I care about leaves?" She asked him, fresh tears pouring from her eyes. He pulled her into a hug and stroked her back soothingly.

"Maybe it's because everyone who annoys you refuses to leave." He joked, referring to himself. Karen smiled, a small reward for his efforts. He hadn't seen her smile at him in months, god he missed her smile.

"No, everyone leaves anyway." She said swallowing hard. He held her comfortingly. He was being sweet again, just how he had been after Jack died, like he had been when she fell in love with him.

"I'll never leave you." He promised. She forced a weak smile, she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"I know you won't." She said softly. She could feel his heart beating gently against her and felt it quicken its pace as she kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."

"It's true, I love you." He said, not even daring to hope for the same words back.

"I know you do." She said softly. He couldn't even feel disappointed anymore, he knew never to expect the same words back. "Thank you."

"Always."

Karen waited at the farm for Barley, he was coming over to pick up their animals since Karen couldn't look after them without Matty. Barley walked over to her and gave her a reassuring smile.

"I'll go pick them up from the barn." He told her. Karen nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. Barley gave her another awkward smile and took away the animals, the symbols of her happiness gone. She sighed, next would come Zack to take away all of the wonderful pink furniture from the farmhouse and pack it up ready for shipping to America.

She walked into the farmhouse and found Matty packing up his stuff into boxes, it was sad how almost everything that made it Matty's house was gone now. She smiled at a box labelled "pretty, frilly gay stuff" and imagined all of the things that would go into it.

"So are you almost ready to move into the inn?" She asked, simply making conversation. She hated how silent they were now, they used to never shut up together.

"Almost. What are you going to do with the farm once I'm gone?" He asked. Karen shrugged, she didn't know why he cared, he wouldn't be around to see it.

"I'll probably just make sure it doesn't fall apart until the Mayor finds someone to sell it to." She said sounding unconcerned.

"Right, okay. I'll miss this place." He said with a small smile.

"Mmm..." Karen murmured absentmindedly. He gave her a small kiss on the cheek and then piled up his stuff, making it easily accessible.

"So," he said, brushing non-existent dust from his hands. "What do you want to do during our last three days?"

"Pretend it's not our last three days." She said simply. He sighed, he wished she wouldn't be so difficult about him leaving. She made it seem like he was abandoning her.

"Well Popuri suggested that tonight we all eat at the inn." He said. She shrugged.

"It would be me, you, Popuri, Ann, Kai, Cliff and Rick if you want to invite him." He told her. She wanted to shrug again but knew she had to give him something.

"Sounds fine." She said without emotion. He sighed, he knew she had reason to be mad at him, but he wished she wouldn't let it ruin their precious last days together.

"Okay then, I'll see you tonight." He said. Karen nodded and he sighed, this was how they would say goodbye. She headed off home to mope some more while he waited for Zack to pick up his stuff.

Karen found Rick at home, he was sitting by the fire looking pensive. He heard her walking towards him and turned around and smiled at her.

"Hey my... er Karen. How ya feeling?" He asked her as though he was talking to some mental patient or a four year old.

"I've been better... I've been worse." She said with a shrug. But she could feel an empty space beginning to grow inside her, the same empty place that had just recently been filled after Jack left. She sighed and sat down on the sofa, oozing into its soft cushions. Rick stroked her cheek gently and gave her another smile, she could tell that he loved that she needed him. She felt even worse staying here with him, so she stood up and walked outside without saying a word. Rick would have been hurt, except he was used to it.

She walked over to the farm automatically and saw Zack carrying away the last of Matty's furniture. She walked into the house and found it completely empty, the only trace that Matty had ever been there were the walls. She felt her heart sting, it was so painful seeing it like this, a mere skeleton of what it had been. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and saw Matty with a comforting smile on his face.

"We'll go to dinner in an hour, do you want to go home and change. I mean, you don't have to... you look fine in that." He said awkwardly. She could tell this was just his attempt not to aggravate her and so with a shrug she went to change.

She arrived at the inn and found all of her friends there, but no Rick thankfully. She sat down and saw the reassuring looks her friends gave her. They were treating her delicately, making sure not to anger or sadden her, she hated them for that.

"Okay... so shall we order?" Kai asked, breaking the silence. Ann nodded and took out a notepad, it was her night off and she was still working. Everyone ordered and then lastly Ann took Karen's order.

"I'll have water." She said boredly, striking worry into her friends again.

"Uh, really Karen? I mean this is supposed to be dinner... but if that's what you want..." She said writing it down.

"Aren't you hungry?" Popuri asked with concern, her big brown eyes even bigger with worry.

"No."

"Okay then." Ann said placing their order on the desk for her dad to find. They chatted for a while, or rather they made random comments every so often to break the silence. Then their meals arrived and everyone concentrated on their dinners, eating in complete silence. Karen just sipped her water, staring into space. Soon Matty cracked and slammed his glass hard down on the table. She jumped and looked at him worriedly.

"Karen, why can't you accept that I'm leaving and be happy for me? Stop being so damned selfish and try to enjoy our last few days together!" Matty shouted at her. He then panted and looked surprised by himself. Karen looked at him defiantly and shifted her chair backwards.

"Excuse me." She said calmly before stalking to the door. Matty glanced at everyone apologetically and followed Karen outside. She walked quickly along the street heading as fast as she could home.

"Stop stalking me!" She shouted angrily, walking briskly away from him.

"Why do you have to make this so damn difficult?" He asked, tears forming in his electric blue eyes.

"It's not easy for me, why should I make it easy for you?" She said curtly. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him.

"Because it's hard enough as it is, without you making it worse." He snarled.

"Let go of me." She demanded trying to pull away. He pulled her into a hug and immediately she started crying, damn him. He made soothing sounds until she relaxed against him, breathing in his delicious smell and absorbing comfort from him. She cried into him and he held her tightly, comforting her and trying not to cry himself.

"I'll miss you." She said softly into his hot pink shirt.

"I'll miss you too, more than you could ever know." He told her stroking her hair.

"Matty..."

"Hmm?"

"Please don't die." She said. He nodded gently and they continued to hold onto each other for dear life.


Please don't hate me...