AN: IT'S BACK!
I make no promises on frequency of updates, because the semester will be starting soon, but I am FULLY COMMITTED to actually working on this again!
Unfortunately, I have very little motivation for rewriting the previous chapters or picking up where I left off. I may do that some day, but this is not that day. If you forgive the time jump, then I hope you enjoy the rest!
Oh! And I'm on a 'third person' kick. First person may or may not occur as I see fit, but expect third person for now.
Reviews are motivation for quicker updates! ;D
It had been eight months since that day at the beach. Tegan and Aura had visited each other every chance they got and talked on Skype nearly every day. The few fights they had had were relatively small and usually resolved over tears and apologies from both. Aura had become fast friends with Sara, which pleased Tegan greatly, except for when they ganged up to tease her.
Aura parked her rental car in the lot for Tegan's apartment building. The last time she had been in Vancouver was only a month earlier. A business emergency went from being one hour to almost nine hours, so she had been unable to leave the apartment the entire time. Tegan came back with chocolate, dinner, and a new key with the promise that her home was Aura's home.
This time, however, was for Tegan's birthday. Aura had said she couldn't take the time off work, but she had taken the entire week off, knowing her girlfriend was at home on break. It was Saturday, and her return flight wasn't until the following Sunday. Aura rolled her luggage out of the elevator to Tegan's apartment and fished out her key. As soon as the door swung open, so did her jaw.
The surprise of hearing the door open made Tegan and Sara break apart, but not quickly enough. Aura had seen what they had so desperately tried to hide from everyone. Both twins shot a hand to their own respective mouths, as though covering them now would undo what had been done, unsee what had been seen.
"Oh for fuck's sake! Seriously?!" Aura loudly blurted. With her face covered in a plethora of emotion, she slammed the door shut and began racing down the hall to the elevator with her bag in tow. Her eyes burned with tears she did not want shown to the two that had betrayed her. Sara and Tegan immediately ran after her, not wanting to let her get away without at least knowing what she planned to do; they needed to prepare for the appropriate backlash.
"Wait!" "Aura!" "Stop!" Both yelled to get her attention. Aura swung around in a rage. Tegan was a few feet behind her with Sara the same distance behind Tegan.
"What? What the fuck do you think you have to say for yourself?" Aura gritted through her teeth to avoid shouting every word. The last thing the situation needed was for Tegan's neighbors to peek their heads out for some building gossip.
"Can I just have five minutes? Please? If you still want to leave, then I won't stop you. Just five minutes?" Tegan clasped her hands together, pleading as tears began streaking down her cheeks.
"We can work thi-" Sara tried to start, but Aura abruptly cut her off with her palm in the air and her eyes closed tightly.
"Sara, while I understand that you may think you have a lot to do with this, you need to realize that there is a huge fucking degree to which this is not your fucking business." Aura's furious eyes reopened and turned back to Tegan's watery ones. "And you. You. Me. Alone. Five minutes. This better be fucking good."
Aura coldly passed the twins to the apartment she in which had just witnessed their transgression. Once inside, Aura left her bag by the door and went straight to Tegan's bedroom. Tegan gave her sister as hopeful of a look as she could muster, while she received one that showed defeated confusion. She turned and followed the woman that she presumed would shortly be her ex-girlfriend, leaving her sister standing alone in the living room. All Sara could do at this point was wait. With her head in her hands, she sat on the couch and silently wept.
"Alright. Go." Aura's short words came out as soon as the door shut behind them. Her arms were crossed and one eyebrow was raised, waiting.
"I don't know what to say other than, 'I'm sorry'," Tegan rambled in desperation. "I know there is nothing I can do to make this right, and nothing I can do to make it up to you, and I know you must be absolutely disgusted right now, and I don't blame you." At this, Aura's brow furrowed as confusion added itself to her angry distress, but Tegan took no notice. "Please…please…if there is anything…anything I can do to get you to not take this to the media. Name your price. I will do anything you ask, whether it's money or-"
"What the hell are you fucking talking about?" Aura finally interrupted. Tegan was startled, her eyes wide in panic. She attempted to sputter something in response, but got nowhere. "What would I tell the media? That my girlfriend has been cheating on me?" Tegan flinched at the word 'cheating', lowering her head.
"W-with her s-sister..." Tegan whispered through her sobs. Aura took a moment to breathe and process the situation at hand. She had been so caught up in her own anguish that she missed the concept that there were more layers to this. She shut her eyes, and her chest rose with a deep breath before she opened them.
"Wait, do you think my biggest issue here is that the throat your tongue was down belonged to Sara?" she asked, calmer than before.
"Y-ye-yes?" Tegan slightly nodded, still not able to look her in the eye.
"Sit." Aura pointed to the bed. Stunned and directionless, Tegan slowly moved to the edge of the mattress. She had no idea what to expect at this point, but she was not going to argue with anything that kept Aura in the room and the conversation going. Aura took the chair from the desk, placed it a few feet in front of Tegan, and sat down.
"I-" Tegan tried, but her attempt was cut short with Aura's raised hand.
"Look," she said, "I'm not going to say that it being Sara doesn't matter, but it doesn't matter the way you seem to think it does. At least not to me." Tegan did little but blink, so Aura continued. "Two of my biggest things are trust and honesty, and they go hand in hand. If you're not honest, I can't trust you. If I can't trust you, I can't be with you. I am confused by the fact that you were kissing your sister, but that's it: confused. What pissed me off and hurt me the most was that I saw you kissing anyone." A wave of realization came over Tegan, but it didn't remove the bewilderment from her teary eyes. "I've shared with you so much of me. I trusted you, and you threw it back in my face. How could you go behind my back like that? Don't you trust me?" Aura's voice finally cracked as her emotions got the best of her. "And how could you with someone that I could never compete against? Why couldn't it have just been some groupie? Someone you met at a bar? I have no way to even try to measure up to what Sara must mean to you."
"Wait, what?" Tegan finally spoke up. She was not prepared for this turn of events in any way. Curling into herself a bit, her weak voice questioned, "Aren't you…disgusted? Don't you find me revolting?"
"You are a beautiful and amazing person," Aura's broken voice spoke. "And I…I love you." Tegan looked up into her eyes at this. "I fucking love you with every fucking fiber of my fucking being. But I can't do it again. Every time, every fucking time, I'm all in while the other person has a foot out the door. I can't be the only one in the relationship again. I…I just can't…I can't do it…" A fresh sob escaped her throat and her eyes closed as she turned her head away from the penetrating gaze of the woman breaking her heart. Tegan fell off the bed onto her knees in front of her.
"Aura, please." Tegan took her hands and begged. "I don't know how to make this right. I don't know if I can make this right, but please, please don't think that. I love you, too. If you want me to, I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you. I don't know how, but I will do everything that I can to show you how much you mean to me. Please, Aura. I love you, too." Aura's neck tensed as she swallowed. Her eyes squeezed shut, releasing more tears to stain her cheeks. She took a few shuddery breaths in an attempt to regain enough composure to continue.
"Is there…is there anyone…else? Besides me and Sara?" Her eyes remained closed to brace for the answer.
"Anyone else?" Tegan shook her head. "No. Oh, god, no. Aura. You have to believe me," she pleaded.
"How? How am I supposed to believe you?" Aura's question was not harsh; it was spun with the hope that Tegan could convince her somehow.
"Aura. Aura, please. Look at me. Please, look at me, Aura," Tegan's words were accompanied by her hand gently lifting Aura's chin. Blurry eyes peeked at her through wet eyelashes. She spoke without blinking, "For whatever it may be worth to you at this point, I promise no more lies. I promise that this was the only thing I ever kept from you. I promise that you will always have my full honesty in anything and everything from here on out." Aura blinked a few times before she slowly nodded.
"You have a fuck of a lot of explaining to do," she started. "But I think...I believe you." Tegan was awash with emotion as she hastily stood to engulf Aura in her arms. A choked sob retched from deep within Tegan's bones.
"Thank you. Oh my god, thank you so much. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you," she confessed. Aura hugged her back hesitantly, but Tegan's relief was curtailed when she was nudged back from the embrace. Worry etched across her features instantly as she searched Aura's eyes for answers.
"You should probably tell Sara that she still has a career," Aura suggested. Her hands gave Tegan's shoulders a soft squeeze where they were still resting. "If this is how freaked out you are, then I can only imagine where Sara's mind has gone."
"Oh fuck. You're right. Um, 'kay. Do you want me to tell her to come here, or do you still want to talk alone?" Tegan sat back on her heels and pulled out her phone with shaky hands. While her initial fears were assuaged, her nerves were still shot and her thoughts still raced.
"Honestly, whatever you think is best for now," Aura allowed. "We're still going to have to talk alone about us, but if she wants to play 'Twenty Questions About What the Fuck I Just Saw', then she is more than welcome." Tegan hung her head in shame. Her shoulders barely shook, but it was enough for Aura to notice. "Hey now. There's no need for all of that." She raised Tegan's face and cupped her damp cheek in her palm. Her thumb brushed away a fresh tear as Tegan's eyebrows furrowed.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" she whispered.
"Because I love you," Aura replied with a soft smile.
