AN: Hi! I hope you're liking the new chapters. Let me know in a review ;)
Oh and just as a side note, this is still set in 2012 when I started this fic. So this is pre-Heartthrob, but I'm not sticking to necessarily real life timelines etc.


The three ate at the dining table where Aura had set up their places. The conversation remained light and playful with a few jokes at each other's expenses. The hardest part seemed over, or at least the most painful part. Aura knew there would be a lot of discomfort and awkwardness coming up when they had to outline boundaries, but discomfort is not pain, and there had been enough pain. She hoped the ending of the pain from the previous day could and would spark the ending of the pain in the twins' hearts. Since Aura had made lunch, Sara cleaned up. As she was loading the dishwasher, she felt a hand on her shoulder, turning her around. A hug enveloped her tightly. She stared into Tegan's eyes, who was still sitting at the table with a genuine smile.

"I love you," Aura spoke quietly as she had that morning when they had last hugged, just for Sara to hear. "I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope your head and your heart are listening, because you are loved because you deserve to be loved." Sara brought her arms around her friend tightly as tears built in her eyes but did not fall.

A small smile tugged at her lips as she replied just as quietly, "Thank you. And all that back at you. I love you, too."

Watching her sister and girlfriend comfort each other warmed Tegan's heart, but then her thoughts started to wander. Before she thought better of it, her mouth started speaking.

"Wait, so does that mean you two can kiss?" she asked. Both women looked at her with eyebrows raised, but Aura spoke first.

"I see you have chosen to start the rules and boundaries conversation," she quipped. Tegan shook her head with wide eyes, realizing not only that she had asked the question out loud, but also not yet ready for more heavy discussion. "Then we can talk about that when we do start that conversation," Aura allowed it to rest with a smirk.

"Oh shit, it's already after 11," Sara interjected. "I'm sorry, but I made lunch plans with Jessica at one. I have to get ready. Does anyone need the bathroom? I want to wash the anxiety puke smell out of my hair before I try to appear in public." With shaking heads from the other two women, she exited down the hall to make herself presentable.

Aura took advantage of her alone time with Tegan. She sauntered over to her girlfriend, still seated in the chair but pushed a bit away from the dining table, and straddled her lap. Tegan's hands held Aura's sides as Aura's arms draped over her shoulders.

"I didn't get to do this yesterday like I planned, so, uh, surprise! I came to visit for your birthday," Aura giggled.

"God I love you," Tegan breathed, her head still swimming from so much happening in such little time.

"I love you, too," Aura smiled.

Her eyes flicked to Tegan's lips, and she raised her left eyebrow while biting her lower lip. An idea popped in her head. Being a little taller than Tegan with long legs for her height, Aura's feet were easily on the floor with her knees bent, giving plenty of room for movement. She started gyrating her hips to a song in her head, giving Tegan a little lap dance. Tegan's eyes went wide for a split second before a grin took over, and her hands instantly slid down to Aura's moving hips. Getting more into it, Aura began rolling her back, and she felt hands move to her ass.

Tegan was looking her girlfriend up and down, immensely enjoying the show and the friction. It had been weeks since they were together due to their schedules, so she was pent up before Aura arrived yesterday, and the stress just added to her ache now. Sex was a great stress reliever, after all. Unable to hold back any longer, she hungrily brought Aura in for a kiss, which quickly turned into a heated make out session.

"Let's go to bed," Tegan's words were muffled by Aura's neck, where she had been focusing for a bit now.

"Mmm, let's wait until Sara leaves, so we can say goodbye," Aura spoke as she pulled back enough to be out of reach of eager lips. Tegan let out a frustrated breath but agreed with a nod. A new thought popped in Aura's head. "How long is she here for?"

"We have some work stuff this week and next week. She's here until the 29th. How long are you here for?" Tegan mentally smacked herself on her forehead that they hadn't sorted this out yet, but to be fair, they were all a bit distracted.

"My flight is on the 23rd," Aura said. She was a little deflated that this meant she wouldn't get as much alone time with Tegan, but she took solace in the fact that the twins would have some time after she left, which meant that they could work things out in a more comfortable setting.

"I want you here longer and more," Tegan pouted.

"I know. Me too," Aura said with a peck to Tegan's lips.

She got up to finish loading the dishwasher, since she had been the one to interrupt Sara. Arms wrapped around her from behind when she was done, and a chin rested on her shoulder. She held the arms in her own, leaning back into the embrace.

"Are you okay? Like really?" Tegan asked softly. Aura turned around in her arms and looked her in the eye.

"Yes. We still have a lot of talking to do, but that's just about details. I am okay. Including the kiss today." Aura added the last bit as she knew that was still weighing heavy on Tegan's mind. None of them were going to be instantly adjusted to any of this, but moving through it was going to get them to the other side faster and healthier in the end. "I might ask for a bit more...reassurance...for a while, but that's my own head stuff. Not you or Sara."

"I get it if you're jealous. I'm sorry," Tegan looked down.

"I'm not...I wouldn't say jealous," Aura said, squeezing her girlfriend tighter. They had long ago shared personal details about previous relationships. Getting together so quickly, right after Tegan's last relationship ended, meant they had had to lay the groundwork for concerns on both sides. Aura had shared her insecurities from her own history about Tegan's investment, so she knew she could make her understand now. "It's just the same, old stuff from before. Like I said, as long as you're in this and it's real, then I'm good. If I'm a cover or whatever-"

"No, I'm going to stop you right there," Tegan interrupted before Aura could get too far down that train of thought. "You are not a cover. You are not a... a beard or anything like that. I love you. I want to be with you."

"I love you, too," Aura smiled. "Just, uh, remind me lots?"

Tegan responded with a tender kiss, "Always."

"Oh, hey," Aura broke the kiss abruptly, which was something Tegan had gotten used to. She knew Aura's mind was going a mile a minute at any given time, and it had become one of Tegan's favorite games to try to fully distract her – usually with orgasms. "Who is Jessica?"

"Just an old friend," Tegan smirked, figuring out where Aura's thoughts had run to. "We've known her since we first moved here over a decade ago. She's straight."

Aura pouted at the news. Sara had been single since before they met. A few dates sprinkled over the time had proved fruitless, but that didn't stop Aura or Tegan from trying to set her up.

"I'm out!" they heard Sara announce from the other room.

After their goodbyes, Aura found herself with her back pinned to Tegan's bed, picking up where they had left off in the dining room. They were already topless, and Tegan's tongue was making its way down her sternum. The time apart rushed their neediness, and they were both quickly nude, matching pace inside each other with two fingers. Neither lasted more than a few minutes, and soon they were laying on their sides, tangled together and tracing patterns on each other's skin.

"Damn, I needed that," Aura said with a grin. Tegan hummed in agreement and closed her eyes.

Aura took in the sight before her, letting her eyes roam over every inch she could see from their position. She couldn't get over how beautiful Tegan was and remained to her, inside and out; her beauty only seemed to grow as their time together grew. However, Tegan's breathing wasn't evening out like normal after sex; it was starting to shudder. A glance at her eyelashes confirmed tears attempting to escape. It was Tegan's turn for racing thoughts to take a hard left, but hers had ended up in a much darker place than finding Sara a partner. Aura pulled her in and rested Tegan's head below her own chin, lightly stroking her hair.

"I- I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm sorry I can't be better for you. You deserve better than me," Tegan whispered.

"None of that is necessary or true," Aura said shaking her own head slightly. "You are beautiful and wonderful, and I love you. I love you because of who you are, every piece of you, not in spite of any. Not even one." She began to accept the uphill climb this was going to be. As much as she needed reassurance for her insecurities, Tegan and Sara were going to need a lot of support to get past their own.

"How can you say that?" Tegan's voice broke as she asked. The sobs were held at bay, but her emotions were not going to allow themselves to go unheard.

"Easy," Aura sighed. She brought Tegan's head back up to the pillow to face her. "In all the things you and Sara have said, I have yet to hear something that I hadn't told myself before when I figured out I was gay, that I haven't heard from Family when they realized they were trans or queer." She kissed Tegan's forehead and wiped her tears with her thumbs. "Remember when I told you about the culty religious school I went to for a few years?" she asked, bringing up a conversation they had months ago. Tegan nodded silently, so Aura continued, "I got real brain-fucked by all that. It took a long while to get past it, even after I came out and dated women. I'll give you that there are differences, but those are just details to me. All the words you said to me outside, I said to myself back then."

"But you're, like, the best person I've ever met," Tegan said furrowing her brow and shaking her head. The idea of Aura having experienced anything similar to her own feelings felt like some sort of great injustice.

"And you're, like, the best person I've ever met," Aura teased back with a small grin. Tegan tried to smile but choked on it as a sob finally broke through. Her thoughts heartily disagreed with her girlfriend.

Aura led them to the shower where Tegan let her tears mix with the water as her girlfriend washed her body. She tried to will away feeling dirty inside as she was cleansed outside, but after so many years, the negative self-talk was strong and well-constructed. However, there was a new glimmer of hope she had never had before: the acceptance of another – her partner, no less. Thinking there was no possible way she'd ever obtain it, it had not been considered when building the framework of her self-loathing, and she could feel the crack forming in the foundation. It was small as yet, a sliver really, but it was a crack nonetheless. This was the first time anything had ever been able to break through, and Tegan was clinging to it for dear life.