Remembrance

So much happened so quickly after their hasty departure from Jedha, no one had time for mourning.

[after Eadu, waiting for council members to arrive, before Scarif]

"Hey, you!"

Bodhi's shoulders hunched. He couldn't see who had called out in the crowded mess, but something told him that it was directed at him. He still wasn't quite comfortable among these Rebels. So far, he had mostly stayed with Jyn and the others of their small group who would be joining him soon, though the looks they were receiving from Rebels were more curious than hostile. Still, when you served in the Imperial forces, you learned to keep your head down if you didn't want to lose it.

"Hey!"

With a sigh, he looked cautiously around, finally spotting the person, waving an arm in his direction. It was a Mirialan male – he'd only ever heard of them, but never actually seen them before. He'd always been curious about the facial tattoos they wore.

The man knew Bodhi had seen him, so he supposed there was no alternative but to approach him to find out what he wanted.

"Ye…yes?"

Suddenly the Mirialan looked uncomfortable, almost nervous, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck and avoiding Bodhi's gaze. That was unexpected.

At length, the man said, "You…you're from Jedha, right? That's what I heard."

Bodhi raised an eyebrow. Okay, not the direction he thought this conversation might go, and not one he was sure he wanted to pursue – the pain was still too fresh – but he nodded politely all the same.

"Yeah." The Mirialan shifted awkwardly where he stood.

Silence encroached once more. Surely that wasn't all the man wanted, to ask where he was from.

Appearing to force himself to continue, the man said, "What they did—" He paused. "Terrible, just terrible," he muttered, more to himself than to Bodhi.

Finally he looked up and held out two containers, shoving them into Bodhi's hands. "These came in the food shipment. I thought…I thought you all might…might want them." He scowled at the floor again. "Terrible." With that the man hurried away.

One of the packets Bodhi held was readily identifiable as chav tea. He sucked in a sharp breath, remembering Gesh's Tapcafe that had served it at home, always packed with eager customers. Reluctantly, he turned the package and realized the other item was Vesti noodles.

He closed his eyes. The man meant well, he reminded himself. He meant well. That knowledge didn't ease the pain burning within him, sharp and hot. His eyes shot open, his heart racing. Surely the walls weren't moving, but it felt like they were closing in. He had to get out of here. He had to get out of here now.

It wasn't that far from the mess hall to his room, but the transit was a blur, and he was almost surprised to realize he stood in front of his door. His hands shook so much that it took several tries to code in the sequence to open the door, but finally he managed it and stumbled inside just as the tears began to fall.

His sister, who liked to boss him around, but fiercely defended him if anyone else tried. His aunt and uncle – he was twelve before he found out they weren't actually related to him. His twin cousins that he couldn't tell apart, but if he stalled long enough, something gave away which was which. He hadn't seen them in nearly a year. The lady in the market who sold—

Stop! He had to stop this. They were gone. There was nothing he could do for them any longer. He stared blankly at the two food items the Mirialan had given him. He had flung them on the desk – the tin of chav was tipped on its side and had almost fallen to the floor. The two things mocked him. Why had they survived when so many people that he knew or who he had seen often in the market were now nothing more than dust? Why? Why!

With a whimper, he turned away from the desk and curled up in a ball on his bed, allowing the tears to flow freely. He owed them at least his grief.

xx

"Baze."

The big man opened his eyes and turned to look at his companion. Chirrut had been meditating for some time, offering the perfect opportunity to catch a nap. Or so he had thought.

"Yes."

"Come." The blind monk rose and started toward the door.

Not moving, Baze asked, "Where is it you want to go? These Rebels are not going to let us wander freely on their base."

"Come," Chirrut merely reiterated, continuing out the door.

With a groan, Baze shoved to his feet to follow. If nothing else, he should be there to keep Chirrut from causing too much trouble. He seemed to have a knack for making problems when none were to be found more readily.

To his surprise, his friend had merely gone to the door of the room across and down one from theirs, and stood waiting for Baze to join him.

"What are you doing?"

"Bodhi needs us."

"How could you possibly know that? Besides, we'll see him soon at supper. Wait until then." Despite his words, Baze knew Chirrut would be proven right. Inexplicably, he always was.

"Trust me, my friend. He needs us now. The Force knows whether I do or not, and sometimes it chooses to whisper its secrets to me."

With a sigh, Baze came up alongside him and knocked at the door. There was no response and presently Baze put his ear closer to the door. There was a strange sound from within. It almost sounded like… With a glance at Chirrut, he knocked again but louder, and then several seconds later, tried the door. It wasn't locked and easily slid open.

Bodhi didn't acknowledge their entrance into his room and Baze's eyes swept the space, landing on the two items on the desk. He went over for a closer look, and once he realized what they were, he could guess the rest. Wherever these had come from, they had triggered an emotional response in their fragile friend.

He went over to sit on the side of the bed as Chirrut pulled the lone chair close alongside. Laying a beefy hand on the pilot's shoulder, Baze squeezed it reassuringly. "Come, little brother, let it all out. Do not let the grief fester within you. We are here to share your vigil for those who were lost from this life."

Chirrut began to softly sing a Jedhan lullaby in his clear tenor. An odd choice for an adult, but perhaps a wise choice under the circumstances.

xx

Jyn slipped into the mess hall and took up a position by the door, surveying the room. It wasn't all that crowded just yet, so if the others were here, she should be able to see them, but only Rebels fell under her gaze. She glanced at the wall chrono to confirm it was the time they had agreed to meet; she was even several minutes late.

She could go ahead and get food, then find seating that would accommodate all four of them, but something felt off to her. She bit her lip momentarily, then turned on her heel and returned back the way she had come. If they weren't in their rooms, she'd return and eat, but first she wanted to make certain everything was all right with her friends.

Her raised hand hovered at Bodhi's door. Jyn wasn't used to having friends to seek out for company, but this was different. She was sure the Guardians liked her, and Bodhi had shown an affinity toward her, probably caused by his friendship with her father. She knocked firmly, but almost simultaneously it swept open to reveal Chirrut.

Her brow knit, but he just waved her in and closed the door behind her. She hastily perused the room, trying to ascertain what was going on. Baze was seated on the side of Bodhi's bed and he was curled in on himself. "Bodhi?" Had something happened while they were apart? Had one of the Rebels said or done something to him?

Chirrut motioned to the chair pulled close to the bed, urging her to be seated, then settled cross-legged on the floor between her and Baze. Quietly he told her, "We are mourning those who were lost on Jedha."

A simple enough explanation, but it made Jyn shift uncomfortably. She shouldn't intrude on their grief…

Before she could move to leave, though, Chirrut reached out and caught her hand. "You also lost someone in the Empire's attack there. Please do join us for our memorial for them."

Uncertainly, she settled back in the chair, not sure what they intended, but Baze rumbled, "We are taught in the Temple that someone is not truly gone so long as they are remembered. We speak the names of the lost to honor them in the Force."

Jyn's mind flashed on that little girl she had saved, only to have her die anyway. Clearing her throat, she murmured, "What if we don't know their names?"

Chirrut smiled. "The Force knows who they are. Describe them as you remember them, and the Force will recognize who you mean." He turned toward Baze expectantly.

Baze looked up from watching Bodhi and said, "I remember the Guardians of the Whills, who remained even after the Temple was taken from us."

Chirrut nodded and added, "I remember Gesh who ran a tapcafe in the market. He served the best chav tea."

Jyn realized they were going around the circle and she was next. "I…I remember Saw Gerrera, devoted to freedom in the galaxy and…surrogate father to me."

Everyone's eyes fell on Bodhi, though no one was sure if he would participate. But after a moment, his shaky voice, trembled out, "I remember my sister who—" The rest of his sentence choked off and he fell silent.

They went around the circle a few more times, so long as anyone had a name they wished to mention. Jyn only had the two people she had known, but she sat respectfully while the others shared names. When at last no one appeared to have more to say, Chirrut spoke again. "Thus we honor these and so many others who were lost in such a devastating way. May the Force accept them into its embrace and keep their memory always alive in us."

After several minutes of silence, Bodhi finally sat up next to Baze and swiped at his eyes. "Thank…thank you."

Baze gave his shoulder a squeeze. "We're here if you need us, little brother."

More silence followed until Chirrut suggested, "Shall we go eat?"

Bodhi's eyes went wide with panic, and hastily Jyn rose, suggesting, "Baze, come with me. Let's get food and bring it back. We can all eat here. I'm not much in the mood to sit in a crowd right now."

Bodhi's relief was evident, and Chirrut smiled his approval. "A fine idea. Thank you, Jyn."

Baze and Jyn departed as Chirrut resumed singing the lullaby from earlier. Jyn glanced back in time to see Bodhi smile.

The End

11/6/19 – 10/25/20