Another chapter, and another huge thanks to my wonderful beta Ambush99!
Chapter 34
"I'm sorry about last night," Sirius said rubbing his face, feeling vaguely refreshed from snippets of sleep he'd had.
"Sorry about what?" James replied, as he rummaged around in the backpack.
"About." Sirius paused and swallowed. "About everything."
"Are the nightmares always that bad?" James watched his friend look away, confirming his suspicions. "Shit, Sirius why didn't you say?"
"Because it doesn't matter," Sirius replied quietly.
"Like hell it doesn't!"
"I thought I had them under control okay!" Sirius snapped back.
"You mean you thought you could hide them from people," James retorted. He watched his friend turn away and start absentmindedly adjusting the cooker. "Mate, talk to me. I'm not going to be able to make them all magically go away but I might be able to help."
"James, look last night…"
"You had a few nightmares, yes I know. I was awake anyway, remember?
"James, I…"
"Mate it's just me, okay. We are the only two people here, you don't need to act okay if you're not. I'm not. I'm fucking terrified. I'm scared of what this war will bring. I'm physically sick with fear when I think of Harry and Lily. I can't think of what will happen if we fail."
"But you don't…"
"Yes I do," James said cutting his friend off. "Not as frequently as you do, but I've been through less. I've seen less. But I still get nightmares. Sirius, mate, Padfoot just talk to me."
Sirius sighed and sank down, drawing his knees up to his chest, and rested his head on them. "When I got back, I, well you know I had nightmares. I struggled to separate fact from fiction, reality from my dreams. But over time they started to fade. Then Voldemort returned and I felt I had no control again but this time I had a full time job. A job where people's lives depended on my reactions. People depended on my ability to have a clear mind and keep them safe. I felt it easier if I didn't sleep. I felt I had more control. Then I moved to Godric's Hollow and they began to fade again. Then, then…" Sirius paused, burying his head deeper into his knees, not knowing how to continue.
"Then you found the horcrux and they got worse again," James filled in. He watched his friend slowly nod. "Then let's destroy it right now and have done with it!"
"No."
"No? Sirius, this thing is the root of all evil. It's a horcrux, it has to be destroyed!"
"I know! I know they all have to be fucking destroyed, okay!"
"Shit, I'm sorry mate, I didn't think. Forgive my tactlessness," James said softly.
"But you're right. They are the root of all evil. For fuck's sake, I attacked you last night!"
"It wasn't your fault, I don't think you knew what you were doing."
"And that makes it okay?! This thing is controlling me. I'm fucking letting it control me."
James frowned with concern. "Okay," he said nodding. "But there are two of us now. You don't always need to keep watch. I know you feel you need to and I know you feel the need to research horcruxes at every waking moment, but you don't have to. You can't. You need to find a way to switch it off."
"You don't think I've fucking tried?! You think I like hearing Voldemort's thoughts. Seeing his fucking murders?" Sirius exclaimed, as he jumped up and began to pace.
"Sirius?"
"What!"
"How long have you been having these visions?" James asked carefully.
"Look James, I don't want to talk about it, okay!"
"Sirius!"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Sirius snapped. "We've got to move on, we've already stayed here too long."
James swallowed and shot back a glare at his friend. "Fine! But we are having breakfast before we go!"
"Fine!" Sirius hissed, shooting back a glare.
"Will beans on stale bread suit sir?"
"It'll be fine," Sirius growled as he started packing up the tent.
James shook his head and bit his lip. His friend had always had an explosive temper but this was more than that. This involved extreme stress and a bloody horcrux. Yelling back at Sirius wasn't going to help anyone, least of all his friend. He looked over at his friend, at his tense posture and at the slight tremors running through his hands, one's he knew he was likely trying so hard to suppress. "Mate," he called out slowly. "Food's ready."
Sirius stalked over, his body still slightly shaking with anger. But it wasn't towards his friend. No, James had sacrificed a lot, too much, to help him. He didn't know what it was but he was finding his legendary temper was far closer to the surface these days. "Thanks," he said without looking up.
"Where are we going next?"
Sirius found his anger peaking again. Why the hell did James expect he had a plan? Why did everyone expect him to have a bloody plan?! "I don't know," he replied, biting back the growl.
James nodded. "I guess we want somewhere quiet and out of the way to destroy it."
"Yeah," Sirius managed, shoving a mouthful of baked beans in his mouth.
"There's this island, Merlin it's on the tip of my tongue. It's off the coast of the Shetland's."
"I'm not really feeling like a game of Trivial Pursuit right now," Sirius replied quietly, taking a long swig of his coffee.
"Foula!"
"What?"
"The Isle of Foula, it's an island about 20 miles west of the Shetland's. It's the remotest, permanently inhabited island in Britain. It only adopted the Gregorian calendar in 1800, so it is twelve days behind the rest of the UK."
"What, did you swallow a bloody encyclopedia?"
"What I'm saying is it's prefect. It's out of the way-"
"I got that at 'remotest permanently inhabited island in Britain'," Sirius said, cutting him off.
"Anyway," James continued. "We can destroy the horcrux there-"
"And then we need to get the hell out of there," Sirius added.
"Sirius?"
"I don't know if the Horcruxes are connected. I don't know if Voldemort knows we are destroying them, but I don't want to hang around to find out. Whatever happens, as soon as we destroy that horcrux, we need to move on," Sirius said, calmly locking eyes with his friend. "We need to move on from here, we've stayed too long as it is." He stood and looked around the tent for a moment. "Thanks for the food," he added.
"Right, Foula," James said, half an hour later after they had packed up everything.
"Mate, I'm sorry about being so ratty earlier," Sirius said as he went to stand beside his friend.
"And I was not without fault?"
"I didn't say that," Sirius replied with a raised eyebrow.
"Twat," James replied, grabbing Sirius around the neck and messing up his hair. "Anyway, what's with the new haircut?"
"Like you're one to give fashion tips," Sirius retorted. "It's easier to manage whilst on the road."
"Fair enough. Anyway, shall we?" James said, as they apparated on the spot.
"You didn't say it would be blowing a bloody hurricane!" Sirius yelled, hugging his jacket close to his lean frame.
"I thought the description of twenty miles west of the Shetland's would have given you a clue," James yelled back, taking off his glasses and tapping them with his wand. "Fuck, it's cold," he swore, as the fine mizzle made its way between his layers.
"Well, I guess we'll be undisturbed," Sirius replied as he bent his head towards James. "I guess we better do this. Remember James, whatever happens, as soon as the horcrux has been destroyed, get out of here."
"Sirius, what aren't you telling me?"
"Nothing mate, I just want to get this over with, that's all," Sirius replied, as he looked away.
"Sirius?"
"What?"
"Mate, are you sure there's nothing else going on?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," Sirius replied flashing a tense smile. "Why?"
"I don't know, you're just being all weird. Weirder than normal."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Do you want to destroy this horcrux or not?"
"No, I thought it would go really well with my dress robes. Of course I want to bloody destroy it," James said, thrusting his hand into his pocket and pulling the locket out. Carefully placing it on a nearby rock on the loch shore, he looked at his friend. "Are you ready?"
Sirius pulled out his wand and stared at the locket determinedly. "Yes. It might try and put up a fight or something."
"I figured that, after it tried to possess both of us," James replied, his eyes never leaving the locket. "On the count of three?"
Sirius stood up, holding the sword high, above his shoulders. "I wouldn't put your fingers there," he observed.
"Is your coordination that shit?"
Sirius shot his friend a look. Okay. One… two...three." He swung the sword hard and fast down towards the horcrux. There was a metallic clatter, a slight flash, before Sirius found himself being thrown a few feet backwards.
"Sirius!" James said, taking a step forward.
"I'm fine mate," Sirius replied, slowly sitting up. "What do you reckon? Stab it?"
"Might as well try."
Picking himself up, Sirius stood over the locket, glaring at it. With all his might, he drove the sword down towards the locket. There was a seemingly larger explosion, and he found himself lying several feet from the locket. "What the fuck!" he swore.
"Let me try," James said, stepping forward, taking the sword from his friend. He brought the sword down hard on the locket, there was a blinding flash and, like Sirius, he found himself in a heap, feet from the locket.
"Why won't you fucking die!" Sirius growled, picking up the locket and throwing it down on the rock.
"Sirius, what's going on? You said you thought the sword would destroy them. You bloody well nearly drowned yourself trying to get it!"
"I don't know, okay!" Sirius snapped. He ran a tense hand through his hair. "I thought it bloody would. Because..., I don't know."
"Because we both thought the sword wasn't a horcrux, so it was a logical step," James sighed, as he sank down onto the marshy hilltop, sword still held loosely in his right hand. "We need something else."
"Obviously," Sirius replied defeatedly, staring over the small loch.
"How confident are you with fiendfyre?" James mused.
"I'm not," Sirius replied simply. "You?"
James shook his head. "Me neither. Didn't we destroy a building with it once?"
"That was years ago," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "But it doesn't exactly inspire confidence."
"I hate this bloody weather!" James sulked, pulling the collar of his cloak up. "It's so bloody shit."
"It's Scotland in winter, what did you expect?"
"I don't remember Hogwarts being this shit," James replied, shivering.
"What do you reckon? Put the tent up?"
"Might as well. We're not going to solve anything out here getting cold and wet."
"I think you mean colder and wetter," Sirius replied, pulling the tent from his bag. With a few flicks of his wand the tent was assembled, and they both crawled in. "Thank God I'm a wizard. I don't think I could hack pissing around with tent poles like the muggles do."
"Me either," James said pointing his wand at his clothes, drying them.
"Mate, I'm sorry."
"About what?"
"That," Sirius replied, his eyes flicking in the direction of the horcrux.
"You're not supposed to have all the ideas. We both thought the sword would destroy it. W W V D," James mused.
"What?"
"What would Voldemort do?" James explained.
"Something sick and twisted?"
"So we know a horcrux is created by murder."
"Yes, so something sick and twisted," Sirius sighed as he sank back on the armchair and closed his eyes.
"Then we murder it," James said with a slight smile.
"Mate, I think you'll find we just tried to do that. If you stab someone with a dirty, great, big sword they tend to die," Sirius said quietly, his eyes remaining closed.
"Would Voldemort stab someone? Do you think any of the people he murdered to create the horcruxes were killed by a 'muggle method'? No mate, it was by wand. You've studied him more than anyone else," James said enthusiastically, as he began to pace up and down the tent.
"What are you suggesting?"
"The killing curse."
"Have you ever used it before?" Sirius said, sitting forward, eyeing his friend carefully.
"No," James replied shaking his head. "You?"
"No," Sirius said, taking a deep breath. "Okay, let's say we do use the killing curse, then what? You saw what the locket did with the sword. What if it deflects the curse. I got lucky once but I doubt I will again."
"We need to open it."
"Mate, we tried that and nothing happened," Sirius said tiredly, as he rubbed his face.
"What's Voldemort obsessed with?"
"I don't know; blood status?"
"Exactly!" James said enthusiastically, almost bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. "I'm pure blood, right? I should open it, right?"
"No. No, I should do it," Sirius said standing up, looking at his friend defiantly.
"Sirius, this isn't a competition of who is braver than who," James bit back.
"No, you don't understand. We underestimated Voldemort before. He's going to have more than pure blood wards to protect his horcruxes. But I, I have part of his soul embedded in me. I think the wards will be confused, maybe enough for me to open it," Sirius said almost dangerously.
"But Sirius!"
"What? We are both pure bloods, why does my life have more value than yours?"
"Because if…"
"I know," Sirius said nodding. "But I reckon we have a far greater chance of defeating this shit if I use my blood."
James eyed his friend for a moment and sighed. He knew what Sirius was saying was right. They had been outfoxed by Voldemort in the past, but they were not going to be again. "Okay," he said nodding. "Okay, we'll do that."
Sirius pursed his lips together and nodded. "Right," he said, as he flicked his wand, packing up the tent.
"We're doing it now!?" James exclaimed.
"Why not? We were going to destroy the bloody thing earlier but we couldn't."
James nodded. "Fine. I just want you to know, I don't like this."
"Noted," Sirius replied. He took a breath and looked around him. "Mate, remember what I said. Whatever happens, as soon as the horcrux is destroyed we need to get out of here."
"Sirius, what the hell aren't you telling me?!"
"Nothing, just we are dealing with some seriously dark magic and it should not be underestimated."
"Fine," James replied, as he followed Sirius to the small outcrop of rocks.
Sirius pulled a penknife from his pocket. "You ready?"
James nodded. "I'll do it."
"James?"
"You throw it and I'll curse it," James said as he sank down behind the rocks.
"Okay," Sirius said slowly. He stared at the locket and the knife for a moment before slicing the knife across his open palm. He let his blood pool for a moment, before he closed his fist around the locket.
"Mate, we need to stop. It's not working," James said urgently, staring at his friend in horror, as the blood seeped between his fingers.
"Give it a moment, it needs to recognise my blood," Sirius replied, clenching the locket harder, causing his blood to run freely down his arm.
"Sirius!"
"James, wait," Sirius said, holding his other hand up. "Just wait."
"No, you're losing too much blood. We need to stop this now!"
"Mate, shut up okay!" Sirius bit back. "Wait, something's happening."
James swallowed nervously, wand at the ready. "Okay."
"I can feel it opening. We're not going to have long, but it will try and possess me. I think it will try and bond onto the other horcrux," Sirius said, as he looked at his friend. "We are killing its host, it will look for another source."
James stared at his friend in horror. "On the count of three? 'Cos I'm not letting it fulfill its desire. I'm not letting it leech itself onto you!" He watched his friend nod. "Okay. One. Two. Three."
Sirius lobbed the locket as hard as he could and ducked low behind the rock. "Avada kedavra," James yelled, before joining Sirius behind the rocks. There was a blinding red flash of light, then everything became silent.
"Yesss!" James yelled, his hands held aloof. "We did it, mate. We actually fucking destroyed a horcrux!" He frowned and looked down at the still, silent figure slumped next to him. "Sirius?" he said gently shaking the unresponsive figure. "Sirius!"
