AN: This is a "get the tissues" chapter. You've been warned. Let me know what you think in a review!
The airport was bustling and loud around them. Sara had already hugged Aura goodbye and was standing a bit away to give her and Tegan some space. A few tears were shed from both, and they parted as late as possible before Aura had to go or risk missing her flight. They could both manage the time apart; it was not knowing the next time they could plan time together that hurt. Sara took a mopey Tegan home while a mopey Aura boarded her plane.
Monday afternoon, Aura was filing documents in the storage room.
"Oh, hello Aura," Shelby said when she walked in.
"Hi Shelby. Did you find the contract?" Aura asked. She was surprised to see Shelby in the office. Being the owner, she was usually in meetings with clients while Mike ran the office.
"Yes, I just came to return it. Do you mind?" Shelby held it up.
"Sure, I'll be in here filing for a while. I can take it," Aura said, putting the contract on the stack of papers she was working through.
"Who..." Shelby started, seeming unsure. "Who was that woman that I spoke with?"
"Oh, that was Tegan. Did something happen?" Aura continued filing slowly.
"No, not at all. I just thought... I thought you said you had been visiting your partner with all the time off. I was glad you finally found someone who made you happy like my Robert makes me happy," she said hesitantly.
"Yeah, Tegan's my partner. And thank you. She does make me happy," Aura smiled.
"Oh, right. Of course. Well, I have a meeting soon, so I'll be on my way," Shelby rushed her words as she rushed out the door.
After work, Aura sat at her desk with her laptop and called Tegan on Skype at their usual time. When Tegan accepted, she looked worn out with bags under her wet eyes.
"Hey Tee. Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, I just... I miss you lots today," Tegan sniffled.
"Oh, my love. I miss you lots, too. But do you... Are you having a drop?" Aura had been worried about this with their session so close to her leaving. Tegan didn't usually have much in the way of subdrop, but since they had started learning and doing more in that area, they had always timed it further from parting.
"Maybe... Just a little," Tegan said quietly.
"My love, I'm so, so sorry I'm not there to hold you. I left you my hoodie in the nightstand. It will be fluffy and warm, and I didn't wash it, so it smells like me. Do you want to go get it?" Aura had a routine of bringing a hoodie to wear at Tegan's and then swapping it out with the one she had left on the previous visit.
Tegan nodded a little, then set her laptop on her bed to get the hoodie. She reappeared on the screen, already wearing the hoodie. The bottom half of her face was covered by it, held up by her hand.
"Does it smell like me?" Aura asked.
Tegan nodded without uncovering her face, but the curve of her eyes showed she was smiling.
"I also made some tea," Tegan said, letting go of the hoodie to grab her mug and bring it into view.
"That's so good!" Aura praised softy. "Do you want a snack, too?" Head shake. "Guitar or movie?" Head shake. "My love, are you having any...lingering thoughts about the session?"
She used the words they had agreed upon to distinguish between bad feelings or thoughts caused by the chemical shift Tegan was experiencing and those caused by shame, regret, or similar; the latter tended to linger.
"No! I mean. No. I, uh," Tegan looked down at her mug as a slight blush rose to her cheeks, "I like being able to see, like, proof of you. It helped me some today, actually. Being reminded..." She bit her lip to hold back a small smile as her thoughts wandered.
"Hm... Can I try something new?" Aura gently asked. Slow, curious nod. "Do any still hurt? Not bad, but, like, some?"
"Yeah, they all hurt some, but none hurt bad. They're exactly... Thank you, my love." Tegan's blush grew a bit as she glanced up through her lashes.
"You're welcome, my love," Aura happily returned. Tegan looked back at her mug as she finally let her small smile free. "Okay, put your mug down, first. Then, pick one and... press on it a little."
The mug went back to the table offscreen, and Tegan lifted the side of the hoodie to reveal a bite mark and a hickey. Choosing the bite mark, she poked it and bit her lip, tilting her head.
"That's me, my love. I'm right there with you. I'm on your body. I'm in your skin," Aura redefined the marks. "Smell the hoodie and press again."
Tegan's eyes flickered with the new interpretation. She put the hoodie over her nose again and pressed. A gasp left her, followed by a small whimper.
"It... it's you." Tegan opened her eyes, not knowing when she had closed them.
She pressed a second on her other side, humming contentedly.
On Tuesday about ten minutes before Aura was going to head home for the day, Shelby showed up again, requesting to talk to Aura in her office.
"Robert and I have discussed it, and we feel that your excessive time off recently has negatively affected the company," she said. "We have our reputation to think of, and we feel that your recent...behavior...is not reflective of the company's values."
Aura was only catching pieces through the whooshing in her ears.
"...Gather your things..."
"...Best of luck in your future endeavors..."
Aura's trick had worked for Tegan; her subdrop had passed and didn't seem to be coming back. She had a much better day at work with Sara and was happy to be home to talk to Aura again. Her excitement made it feel like the Skype app was taking forever to load, but once it did, she called Aura immediately.
"Aura! That trick wor- " Tegan cut herself off.
The woman on the other side of the screen had bags under her wet eyes, yet again, but the screen was flipped today. Instead of sadness, the eyes held deep-seated fear and uncertainty. Whatever was wrong was not a simple bad day or stress from the long distance.
"Sorry, Tee. I just... Today just kind of sucks," Aura's voice was small and strained.
"My love," Tegan breathed, dying a little inside from not being unable to reach out and hold her partner. "What happened?"
"I, uh, well... So, the good news is that I'm free to visit indefinitely, ha," her joke left no smile in her eyes or tone as she wiped her cheeks. "I just won't be able to afford to."
"Aura..." Tegan said cautiously. "Talk to me. What's going on?"
"I, uh... I got fired. For being gay," Aura chuckled a little in astonishment.
"You what? Holy shit! Isn't that, like, illegal?" Tegan's voice rose slightly in pitch.
"No, actually. In the city, it is, but the company was in the 'burbs." Aura paused to sniff. "So, uh, no protections. And even if, I would only be able to get my job back, which... Fuck Shelby and fuck Robert. I just... I don't know what the fuck to do now."
"You were there for years. You have experience. You can get another job. But yeah, fuck those homophobic assholes. And fuck the laws in your state," Tegan's tirade lasted just long enough for her brain to catch up to something. "Wait, Shelby? The woman I talked to? Fuck, Aura... Did I... Did I get you fired? Did I out you?"
"No no no. Mike knew. I assumed Shelby did, too. I guess I outed myself yesterday. But, like, even if somehow you did, it would still be Shelby's fucking fault." Aura was well on her way to mad, which was easier than sad, but neither helped lessen her dread about the future. "And yeah, I guess I could, like... That restaurant around the corner is, like, always hiring..."
"What are you talking about?" Tegan followed until Aura started talking about the restaurant, then she was entirely lost.
"Another job. They seem busy enough that I could probably afford to ride out my lease here." At this point, Aura was just thinking out loud more than talking to her girlfriend. "I'd have to find a cheaper place, but I still have a couple months to do that."
"Whoa, wait, Aura." Tegan waved to get her attention back after watching Aura start down the spiral in her mind. "Are you wanting to waitress again? Can't you just get another job doing the same thing you were doing?"
"Fuck no – I hate waitressing. But you know I don't have a degree. They hired me for basic office work and trained me. I don't have the certifications or degree or anything," Aura shook her head. "No one would hire me to do that." Now her words came faster as she rubbed her forehead. "And, fuck, the pay cut is going to suck a bit. I... I won't be able to afford...afford to visit and... I'm so sorry this affects you, too. We hardly see each other already, and I... I understand if... If you can't..."
"Hold the fuck up! No, my love, no. Hey hey hey. Please. None of whatever you were about to say is even remotely a possibility." Tegan knew she really needed to stop this spiral now, and this was infinitely harder when she couldn't be there to hold her. "I love you. I'm not going anywhere, especially not for losing your job for being gay. We're together, and we'll figure this out together."
"Are you sure?" Aura asked timidly. "This isn't... It's going to be hard, like... I don't..."
"Aura. Really?" Tegan was calm and serious now. "After what I put you through just a week ago, and you think losing your job is going to scare me?"
"Tegan, we went over this. I told you that I'm okay. You didn't put me through anything," Aura countered, taking the bait laid to distract her from the spiral. An eyebrow quirk from her girlfriend told her what she just did. She gave in and sighed. "I love you. It's still weird as shit to me that you can do that to me so quick. But I still have to find another job."
"Can you hold off on that? Like, are you okay for a day or two?" Tegan asked.
"Uh, I mean... I guess I can wait a couple days. Why?" Aura racked her brain to think of why she'd ask for the delay.
"Just... Just take tomorrow to rest. Self-care. Whatever will make you relaxed and happy. Take the day off of life. You've beyond earned it," Tegan said sweetly. "Just wait until we talk tomorrow. Okay?"
"Okay..." Aura conceded.
