Chapter 40
The tall man stood; his shoulder leant against the wall as he looked out the window. His face was scared. His eyes weary. His body felt as though he had endured many lifetimes during his thirty-six years. His glaze naturally moved to the object that governed his life. Its crescent shape glowed brightly against the night sky. Waxing crescent, he thought idly. He had a fortnight before his next transformation. He cast his eyes across the school grounds and found a small smile as he thought back to his school days. Happy days. Days he thought, someone like him would never experience. He thought about them. The people who had made him feel welcome. Made him feel like he had a place in this world.
He thought back to the beginning of their second year.
Remus quickly ran up the smooth, spiral stairs to the dorm. He wanted to get some reading in before double potions, but the book he thought was in his bag, wasn't. Hence the quick trip to the dorm.
"Hi," he said, as he noticed Sirius and James deep in conversation, before looking for his book.
"Er, Remus," James said hesitantly.
Remus walked over, watching the two boys. Sirius and James were very similar, yet very different at the same time. Both were born into powerful families. Both were pure blood wizards. Both were highly intelligent and didn't bother to try in lessons. But whilst James walked with a natural confidence, he never thought Sirius did. For sure, Sirius could fake it. He walked and laughed with a seemingly natural confidence to anyone who saw him, but there was something different to the way James did it. He could see the confidence in James' eyes, whilst he didn't see it in Sirius', especially just before the holidays.
"Yeah," he replied, walking over.
"Remus, umm," James started, and looked at Sirius.
"Just do it," Sirius whispered.
"What?" Remus asked, eyeing the boys nervously. There was one thing James and Sirius had that was different between the rest of them. Was this seemingly ease of communication. He could swear they could read each other's thoughts.
"Remus, umm, I'm not sure," James started again, looking at Remus and quickly dropping his glaze.
"Guys, what is this about?"
"Remus, I don't know how to say this, but," James said hesitantly.
"Are you a werewolf?" Sirius cut in.
Remus could feel the air being sucked from his chest. It suddenly felt very painfully tight. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, as if it was trying to escape. His palms felt slick with sweat, as he dug his fingernails into them. This was it. He had finally thought he had found some friends and could lead a normal life, but who was he kidding? His kind didn't lead a normal life. He was daydreaming if he thought he could have got through seven years of Hogwarts without his close friends figuring it out.
"Sirius, really?!" James snapped, glaring at his best friend. "I told you we needed to be sensitive about this!"
Sirius pushed James off. "Remus, we don't care if you are. You are still Remus to us."
"I-I, I'm so sorry, if you want me to move out," Remus started.
"Remus-" James started, but was soon cut off by his friend.
"Don't be stupid Remus. You are still our friend. I'm guessing that's where Madam Pomfrey takes you at a full moon, so you aren't a threat."
"Sirius-" Remus tried again.
"Mate," Sirius exclaimed, as he stood up. "From our reading, a werewolf is only a threat to humans on a full moon, when they transform. Seeing as you're not in the dorm when you transform, I don't know what the problem is. The rest of the time you are Remus. Sure, the late-night scribbling essays is slightly annoying, but I can live with that. Do you reckon you can James?"
"I-I," James stammered, before looking up and smiling at his petrified friend. "I think I can just about cope with the late-night essays, just not on Quidditch nights, a true athlete needs their rest."
"But, but I'm." Remus stopped, not willing to say those fateful words.
"You're a wizard who has a bit of a furry problem, one night, every month. That's all," Sirius said with a smile. He raised an eyebrow. "It could be worse; you could be someone who thinks they have just stepped off their broomstick every five minutes."
"I think what Sirius is trying to say is, we don't care. You are still our mate," James said, with a grin.
"But, but I'm a, I'm a werewolf," Remus managed to stammer out.
"For one night out of twenty-eight, the rest of the time, you are just Remus. Our friend!" James replied, still grinning.
"So, you don't want me to move out?"
"Mate, for someone so intelligent, you are really thick sometimes," Sirius replied, leaning against the bedpost.
Remus slightly winced at Sirius' words. The tall boy was sometimes overly blunt with his words. He didn't think Sirius meant anything by it, it was his nature. "So, it's okay?"
"It's okay with me," James replied with a grin, as he pulled Remus into a hug. "What do you reckon Sirius?"
"All good with me," Sirius replied, punching Remus' shoulder. "What do you reckon, head down to the kitchens and steal some food?"
"Sounds good. Remus?"
Remus looked at them, in shock not knowing what to say. He had just relieved his darkest, his most deepest secrets. The one he, his parents, most feared. The one that had caused the near breakdown of his parents' marriage. The one that had caused them to nearly become bankrupted. The one that had caused them to move frequency. But his friends had just shrugged and moved on.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course, we are sure, the best food is from the kitchen. We'll get it before the prefects," James replied, pulling Remus out of the dorm.
"No, about you know."
"About your furry problem Moony."
James rolled his eyes, as much as Sirius was his best mate, he could be insensitive at times. "Yes, about that."
Remus, for the first time in his life, found himself smiling about his condition. "Moony?"
"Well, you," Sirius started. He looked at James. "Mate, I'm sorry if it's insensitive, I just, well you know."
"No, it's brilliant," Remus replied with a huge grin. "So, shall we go to the kitchens?"
Remus closed his eyes. The first time, outside of his parents, he had been accepted for what he was. He never thought he would be associated with such a powerful family as the Potters, let alone the Blacks, one of the sacred twenty-eight. But he, a Lupin, a werewolf was not only associated with them. He was accepted by them, and they considered him a friend.
That's why he was standing by his desk, staring down at three items: the Hufflepuff Cup and Ravenclaw Diadem and the coded letter. He rubbed a hand over his face. The letter, at first glance, looked like a standard letter. Nothing more than a holiday letter, but his keen eyes picked up their symbol. He had tapped his wand on the scrap of parchment and uttered their words, "I solemnly swear, I am up to no good." And that's how the words appeared. Sirius and James wanted the cup and diadem, they didn't say why but he knew it was to do with Voldemort. He stared at the letter again and rubbed his face. Part of him was conflicted. "Can you meet us at Shrieking Shack tomorrow at 2200?" He, a Hogwarts Professor, was meeting with two of the Ministry's most wanted men. He knew the auror or hit wizards were not actively hunting them. He knew Sirius and James. Putting personal thoughts aside, he was meeting with the Head of the Auror department, and a very senior member of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he muttered, tapping the yellowing piece of parchment. He had confiscated the map in the days leading up to tonight, knowing Harry's reaction if he had seen his father and godfather appear on the map. He briefly scanned it, Professors in their rooms, no wandering students. He looked at his watch, it was time. "Mischief managed."
Sfsdf
"I don't think we should use Remus," Sirius said, pacing up and down the garden.
"Why? Don't you trust him?" James asked, pointedly.
"No, I trust him. I just think it's too risky."
"Mate, remember Moony was part of many of our pranks and anyway, he's a professor."
Sirius nodded. "I guess. Do you think he has a chance?"
"Mate, if anyone can find the diadem, it's Moony. He was a total swot at school and now he's a professor. He's the Professor of History of Magic!"
"I guess, sorry James I'm just being stupid, that's all."
"Well, I guess you have finally admitted it."
"Piss off James," Sirius replied with a grin.
"I guess we should write this letter," James replied, as he dramatically flopped down on a bench, pulling out a piece of parchment.
And that's why he was walking through Hogsmeade, his best friend by his side. They were both crouched down, as they tried to stay hidden under the invisibility cloak. It had been easier when they were at school. But now, in their mid-thirties and both over six foot, it was a tough task.
"You alright mate?"
"Better, when I'm not under this cloak," Sirius growled. "Why are you so short?"
"I'm not!" James snorted.
"Shhh," Sirius hissed, as they passed the Hog's Head.
James nodded, as they took a couple more streets before reaching open countryside, apart from one deserted house. A run down, supposedly haunted house. But he knew better. He had been to that house on multiple occasions, every full moon since their sixth year, until they left Hogwarts. But now they were back, for a very different purpose.
"You ready mate?" he asked, as they pushed the rotten gate that only hung on one hinge.
"Yes," Sirius replied tensely.
"Let's do it," James said, without another word they confidently strode up to the shack. It wasn't just about meeting their old friend. It was more than that. It was about ending this war. It was ensuring his son and other children didn't see the horrors of war.
"Moony," he called out to the darkened room.
"Prongs?" Remus replied, stepping out from the shadows.
"Mate," James cried, tearing off the cloak and embracing his old friend. "It's good to see you!"
"You too," Remus replied grinning. "Sirius?"
"Yeah mate," Sirius replied quietly, leaning against a wall, as he looked out into the grounds.
"Are you okay?" Remus asked, eyeing the friend who he thought he had seen for the final time.
"Can you remember these grounds? When we were young, carefree, and probably a little reckless," Sirius replied distantly.
"A little reckless?" Remus replied with a slight raised eyebrow, as he walked over and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.
Sirius let out a bark like laugh. "I suppose it was a bit more than a little reckless, but it was fun."
"It was mate, it was," Remus replied smiling.
Three of them stood there, in silence, just taking a moment. All three of them felt far older than their thirty-six years, but then they guessed war would do that to a person.
"So, Remus, do you have them," Sirius asked, finally breaking the silence.
Remus nodded and walked across the room to a dusty table. He blew some of the dust off the table, and carefully placed grey cloth on the table. "You think they are horcruxes?" He watched James nod, he looked at Sirius but found his expression blank. "What are you going to do with them?"
"Destroy them," James replied simply.
Remus simply nodded, still watching his silent friend. "Sirius?"
Sirius stood back eyeing the package. He was almost afraid to go near, but he knew he had to. Moving noiselessly across the room and hovered a hand over the cloth. With care, he flicked open the cloth, exposing the items. He took a breath, as he examined them. He held out his hand above the diadem and cup.
A darkened room. A snake. A cold, high voice.
"Sirius!" James called out in alarm, as he watched his friend stumble back. Catching him, he forced him to sit on the battered sofa. "Mate!"
Sirius blinked, as he tried to clear his vision. He pulled his jacket closer, as he shivered. He looked up to see a concerned James, and confused Remus. "Yeah, they're horcruxes," he rasped, nodding his head.
"Sirius?"
"Okay mate," James said, patting his friend's shoulder. "Are you going to be okay? You know, with..." He trailed off.
Sirius bit his lip and slowly nodded. He had never had as strong a reaction to a horcrux as he did then, but maybe it was because there were two of them. Or maybe as they destroyed Voldemort's soul in the remaining ones grew stronger. He gagged at the thought of it. "Yeah, I'll be okay." His voice barely more than a whisper, it didn't convince him, so he doubted it would convince the others.
"Sirius, I don't think you should. You are ill, you need to see a healer. I can summon Madam Pomfrey," Remus urged.
Sirius looked at James. His tired eyes communicated a thousand words. James nodded. "Okay, okay mate, we'll do it." He patted his friend's shoulder. "Remus, do you have somewhere we can destroy them? Somewhere safe? Somewhere we don't need to leave immediately?"
Remus watched his two friends. They had always been like that, pretty much since the welcome feast on the first day of term, one their first day at Hogwarts. The ability to convey whole conversations with a single look. "We can do it here, or my flat. It is secure, for the, wolf."
James nodded. "Great, let's go to your flat." He looked down for a moment. "Sirius, you okay to go?" He watched the other man slowly nod and helped him to his feet.
"Wait!" Sirius suddenly said, putting his hand on Remus's shoulder. "Does Harry have the map?"
"No, I confiscated it a couple of days ago," Remus replied. "I didn't think it was a good idea for Harry to see his father and godfather appear on the map. I would imagine he would be quite anxious to see you two."
Sirius found a small smile. "Moony, I think this is the first time, no wait the only time I am happy you were more of a rule follower than myself and James."
"I'm going to have to record that somewhere," Remus replied, finding a smile despite the grim situation. "Come on, let's break you into the castle." Without a further word, he slipped down the tunnel towards Hogwarts.
It had taken some time, and several views of the map, but they had finally made it safely into Remus' Hogwarts flat. "So, make yourselves at home," he said, gesturing to his small living room.
"Sirius?" James said, looking at his friend. "What do you want to do?"
"We need to destroy them."
"I know but given what happened last time..." James said, trailing off.
"James?" Remus cut in.
"I'll be fine James, we need to do this," Sirius said, speaking up.
"How?"
"Like we did last time."
"Mate, after last time..."
"I'll be okay, we can stay at Remus' for a bit, can't we?" Sirius said, looking up at Remus.
"Of course, you can. Guys, what aren't you telling me?" Remus asked, looking at his two friends carefully.
"Sirius." James stopped and looked at his friend. He nodded and looked down. "Sirius gets affected when we destroy horcruxes."
"Affected? How?" Remus questioned.
"Like he's got a really bad flu, or something. It lasts for a few hours but it's not the best condition to be out there on the run," James explained.
"Why?"
"We don't know."
Remus nodded, accepting the lie. "Okay, what do we need to do?"
"It needs my blood," Sirius replied quietly, gently pulling at a loose thread on his jacket sleeve. "And then we use the killing curse."
Remus swallowed several times, as it dawned on him what he was about to do. He, of course, knew horcruxes were created from some very dark magic. But this was, this was him, a werewolf, destroying dark magic. It seemed, especially as how many of magically society viewed his kind, contradictory. "Why your blood?"
"Because I'm a pure blood and a member of the sacred twenty-eight, you know how weird Voldemort is about that kind of thing," Sirius replied darkly.
"So, you drop some blood on it, and then James and I use the killing curse," Remus said, asking for confirmation. He watched his friend nod.
"You've got to mean it," Sirius replied tiredly. "It will put up a fight."
"Sirius, are you going to be okay?" Remus asked, carefully watching his friend for a reaction.
"Moony, you really have to mean it. The curse I mean. They, they aren't quite as effective if you don't mean it with every fibre of your body," Sirius replied with a dark expression.
"Padfoot?"
"Voldemort and my cousin are particularly good at them. Others..." Sirius stopped and looked away, as the memories plagued his thoughts. He had escaped Voldemort's prison, but he never left. He thought of a muggle band's lyrics, 'you can check out, but you can leave.' That was him, forever bound to the dark lord. He rubbed his eyes. "You just have to really mean them okay."
"I will Padfoot, I promise I will," Remus replied, as he stepped forward and pulled his friend into a fierce hug. I'll just think about him and what he did to you, what he's still doing to you. Remus thought angrily.
"Okay," Sirius replied, as he tiredly nodded. "Shall we do it?" He didn't look to his friends for confirmation. He couldn't. He held a shaking hand over the diadem and cup. Two such beautiful items forever darked by that monster's soul.
A darkened path. High wind violently moving the trees. A bright sign 'Little Hangleton'. A decaying shack. A floorboard peeled back. Something shiny. A ring.
Sirius staggered back, gasping. He vaguely heard his friends calling him. Voices of concern. He wrapped his arms around himself as he shivered.
"Sirius!" James yelled, shaking his friend.
"I'm fine," Sirius managed, finally having recovered enough to speak.
"No, you're not!" James growled, grabbing his friend, and spinning him around to face him.
"I need to end this. I need to end him. I need to rid the world of his fifth," Sirius hissed, as he pushed past his friend. He covered the short distance between him and the horcruxes and pulled out a knife. "Are you ready?"
He heard his two oldest friends move to his side; he took it as a yes. He pulled out his sleeve and cut deeply into his arm. He balled his hand into a fist, allowing the blood to run freely down his arm. "It'll take a moment for it to work, but when it does, you'll know. Whatever happens, you cannot be hesitant. You cannot let anything distract you. You must kill it. It will put up a fight."
"We know Sirius. We are right by your side. I will be there until the end," James replied in a hollow voice. "Let's do this. Let's destroy them."
Sirius slowly nodded. He held his bleeding arm above the horcruxes, watching the blood flow down his arm and drip onto the horcruxes. He closed his eyes and waited. He could feel himself being drawn away from the room. He could hear voices. Familiar voices.
"No master, please don't make Kretcher do it."
"Kretcher, I will not force you to drink this potion, this is a wizard's war. It is not your war. You need to force me to drink it."
"But master it dark magic. Master cannot drink it," Kretcher pleaded.
"I must Kretcher," Regulus Black replied calmly. "The Dark Lord is immoral; I must stop him."
"But master, mistress will be sad if her only son is hurt."
"Kretcher, she has two sons."
Kretcher made a face. "No, not him. The nasty blood traitor who broke my mistress' heart."
"Sirius was right.," Regulus replied in a tight voice. "I still think blood is pure, but others shouldn't have to die just because their blood isn't pure." He pulled out a goblet from deep inside his robes. "Remember Kretcher, whatever happens you have to force me to drink the potion. Then swap the lockets. You have to leave, with or without me."
"No master, I will never leave without you," Kretcher pleaded.
"Kretcher, this is an order," Regulus replied, sending a pointed look at the elf.
"Of course, master," the elf replied, bowing deeply, his eyes brimming with tears.
With a shaky hand Regulus lowered the goblet into the basin and scooped up the potion, feeling the goblet. "Remember Kretcher, whatever happens. Even if I beg you to stop, you must not. This is an order Kretcher. You must make master drink all the potion and swap the lockets. Then you must leave."
"Of course, master," Kretcher replied, tears streaming down his face.
Regulus looked at the goblet for a moment. He knew this was the end. His end. He thought of his parents. He hoped they wouldn't be ashamed. He thought of Hogwarts and his friends. He hoped they would be safe. Lastly, he thought of his brother, Sirius. They had grown apart; they had their differences, but he was still his brother. He hoped Sirius would find out what he did, and he hoped he would be proud. Without a further thought he drained the goblet. Almost instantly he could feel its effects. It burnt his insides, like nothing had done in the past. He felt like he was being stabbed a thousand times. Monsters chased him. He heard the elf pleading with him to drink, whilst sobbing. He saw his parents beating Sirius. He felt the elf hold him and pour the potion down his throat. He saw Sirius curled up in a ball sobbing, as his parents stood over him, wands pointed. He could hear himself begging Kretcher to stop, but more potion was forced down his throat. Then it stopped. He could hear the elf pleading with him. Then a pop. Then nothing.
He slowly opened his eyes. He was alone. So desperately alone. So thirsty. He crawled to the water's edge. So thirsty. He scooped his hand into the water but was met with hands. Hundreds of dead, grey hands. They pulled at him. He could see their grey, lifeless faces. He tried to crawl up the rock away from them, but they had his legs. They were pulling him. Pulling him into their watery grave.
"No," he cried, tears in his eyes. He felt his skin being torn from his fingers and he tried to free himself. But it was no good. He shivered as his legs, then torso, then his head. He tried to push them off. He tried to fight them. But there were too many. He couldn't fight them.
James made a step towards his convulsing friend, but a hand flew out to stop him.
"No James!" Remus screamed, one eye on his friend, the other on what was once two Hogwarts artefacts. A black smoke with a red glow was rising from them. "Remember! We have to destroy them."
James nodded. He glared at the smoke. At the horcruxes. At Voldemort's soul. 'You really have to mean it'. He thought of Voldemort. He thought of how he had threatened his family. He thought of the friends he had lost. He thought of Sirius. He thought of thirteen years of torture he had been thought. He thought of the unimaginable burden placed on his shoulders. He could feel the rage build up and threaten to overspill. "Fuck you Voldemort," he growled. "Avada Kedavra!"
He watched as a bolt of green light escaped from his wand and hit the smoke, with another one joining it. He could feel his wand vibrating. He gripped it with both hands as he struggled to hold it. 'Focus James'. He told himself. 'Think of Voldemort. Think of what he has done. Think of what he plans to do.' He renewed his focus and stared down at the shifting smoke. 'This ends Voldemort. You will never win!' All of a sudden there was a rush of air and an explosion. He was thrown back, landing hard on the floor.
"Remus?" he called out.
"Yeah," Remus managed.
James slowly made it to his feet and cautiously approached the smoking objects. Glancing over at Remus, he nodded. Taking their wands, they gently poked objects. It was done.
"Sirius!" he called out, quickly making his way to his fallen friend. "Sirius!"
"Reg," Sirius muttered, his hand outstretched. He took a breath and then was silent. A single tear slipped down his face.
