Chapter 48
A warm, golden sunlight slowly began to filter into the valley, as the two old friends made their way slowly along the gently winding path. It was a summer's day, so despite being light it was still early. A small fact that was a relief to Sirius. He really wasn't ready to see anyone apart from, maybe, close family. He wasn't ready for questions. He wasn't ready for conversation. He was barely able to place one foot in front of the other. He had questioned his parents' status on pureblood ideology since he was a child, before he had even attended Hogwarts. Where his parents thought attending Hogwarts and would sort his 'nasty, dirty thoughts' out, it had done quite the opposite. He had been infamously sorted into Gryffindor and met people who had only reinforced his opinions. When he was sixteen, they had tried to force him to join the Death Eaters, but he had refused. He guessed that's when he really started to fight against the Dark Arts. He had joined the Order at the earliest opportunity, the 3rd of November 1976, his seventeen birthday. He was thirty seven now, so he guessed he had been fighting Voldemort one way or another for twenty-one years. So, it made sense why he felt so numb. So, lost. So, well he didn't really know. He had been doing something for more than half his life, and suddenly it was over. He hadn't expected to survive this, so he hadn't planned or even thought about the aftermath. He closed his eyes, allowing James to guide him down the path. Just one foot in front of the other, Padfoot, that's all you have to do, he told himself.
James glanced across at his friend but said nothing. He knew Sirius was beyond words right now, but he could sing. Given half the chance he would sing. He would dance. He would shout up to the sky. He had thought of every outcome. Even the fantasy ones weren't as good as this one. Sirius, his best friend, was alive. It was a beautiful summer's morning. He was alive. Voldemort was dead. Key Death Eaters had been arrested. In a few minutes he was going to see the woman of his dreams again. And his best friend was alive. He had to keep on pinching himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
"Sirius?"
"Yeah," the dark haired man replied quietly.
"You okay?"
"Yeah."
James nodded. He wasn't expecting much of a response, but he felt the need to check. He was on cloud nine, he guessed he hadn't processed anything that had happened in the last twenty four hours. Voldemort was dead. It somehow didn't feel real, but he didn't care. There would be time to process all of that, but now he could stop smiling. He guessed Sirius was, well, confused. But that didn't seem to even begin to describe what his friend was going through. Someone who had accepted he was going to die. Someone who was willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of the wizarding world but somehow survived.
"Mate," he started, then stopped as he struggled with the words. "Mate, I've no idea what is going through that head of yours, but you don't need to process it all now. It'll take time and I doubt it's making any sense right now. I have no idea what day of the week it is. So, dealing with the last few months. Hell, processing the last 24 hours, mate I've got no idea what has really happened."
Sirius raised his tired, heavy head and found a small smile. "Mate, I'm not sure what bloody month it is let alone what bloody day of the week it is!"
James laughed and slapped his friend's shoulder. "That, I can help with Padfoot. It's June."
"Oh, I didn't realise I had been gone for so long."
"Yeah, it did begin to all merge into one. I had some idea of the months but with all the moving around it was different to gauge the seasons. It seemed to rain most of the time in Scotland."
"That's not fair. It snowed once and there was a day of sunshine," Sirius replied lightly.
"Sirius, it was half a day at most," James replied, as they began to make their way through the village. The memories James thought. The church where he was married. The pub Sirius and he first went drinking. The hill he went sledding with Harry. So many memories and now one more. The one walked through with Sirius after they had defeated Voldemort.
"I didn't plan for this."
James frowned, Sirius's words were so soft he almost missed them. "Didn't plan for what?"
"Being alive. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, I just well I didn't expect to see this through."
James stopped and faced his oldest friend, placing his hands on his shoulders. "Mate, I get that. I've made loads of life plans in the past. Some of them have worked, others haven't. You don't need to have a plan. Just take things as they come. Like now, just come back to mine and sleep. When you wake up it might be easier, and it might not. But you always have me, Lily, Moony, mum and dad. You're not alone in this. We'll help figure things out if you want us to."
"Thanks," Sirius replied quietly, slightly dropping his head. "Sleep, god that sounds, I don't know. It's probably the best thing I've heard of for a while."
"There you go. There's one thing figured out. Don't worry about the rest of your long life. You'll figure it out," James replied with a massive grin.
Sirius couldn't help but smile looking at James with the stupid smile plastered over his face. He thought for a moment of what his acceptance that he was going to die meant to the wider group of people. James knew everything but he knew others suspected he wouldn't return. He thought them and found himself returning the same stupid grin. "It's a beautiful day," he managed, tears stinging his eyes. "I knew I had to die. As much as I hated it, I accepted it. For 'greater good' sounds so honourable but in reality, any decent person would do it. I just, well selfishly, didn't think of the people I would leave behind."
"Sirius, mate. You. Shit." James stopped and raked a slightly shaky hand through his dishevelled hair. He was too tired to deal with this right now but given what his friend had been through. He owed it to Sirius. He took a breath. "Yes, it was hard for us, but we didn't carry the same weight that you did. No one needs to know what you did, if you don't want. It can stay between you and me. If that's what you want."
"It's okay, I think, maybe it will be easier if people know. Not in a big headed way, I've always shied away from fame but maybe it will somehow help them understand what happened." Sirius stopped and sighed. "I don't know, maybe it won't."
"Mate, you don't need to make any decisions right now. You don't need to see anyone if you don't want to," James replied, watching his friend carefully. "I can fend them off if you want. I mean, everyone apart from mum. Sorry mate, I am not going to do that. She will, well you know how she gets."
Sirius found himself laughing. "Yeah, I know, and I wouldn't want to put you in danger. Last year would probably feel safe compared to that."
"Yeah, it bloody would!"
"Shall we?" Sirius said, as he looked up the street. "Well, before the village wakes up. I know we have been cleared, but there's…" He stopped and looked up at the half torn down wanted poster. "It might become awkward."
Xxxxxx
Lily frowned as Lancelot, Sirius' dog, started to paw at the door. He had odd moments over the last few months, but in the last 24 hours his behaviour had been bizarre. He had laid down and whimpered. He had howled. He had raced around the house barking. And now, he was pawing the door. But despite the odd behaviour, she didn't feel threatened by him, it was as though he was trying to tell herself something. She knew how closely linked he was to Sirius. Maybe he was trying to communicate with his master.
"What is it boy?" she asked, looking at the dog. "Do you want to go out? Is Sirius out there?" Is my husband out there, she silently added.
She watched the dog pause his frantic actions and look at her for a moment. Did he understand what she had said? From her understanding, Lancelot was a standard deerhound. There was no magical blood in him. But she had seen muggle animals seemingly be telepathic with their owners and Sirius had always been good with animals. The Study of Magical Creatures was the only class Sirius was calm in at school. The animals seemed to come to him. Maybe this was it. She looked down at the dog, and bit her lip. They were at war, was this the right decision? Despite everything. Despite everything she had been taught, she opened the door and watched Lancelot fly out the door. Grabbing her wand, she tried to catch up with the dog but couldn't. She was normally sensible, but no, not right now. Something drove her to run after the dog. Something told her whatever the dog had run after would not hurt her.
"James," she whispered, seeing the figure standing in front of her. Was it really him? She looked to his left to see Lancelot had knocked over a dark haired man and appeared to be trying to lick him to death. "Sirius?"
"Hi Lily," James said, with a huge smile.
"James?" Lily said again, struggling to process the scene in front of her. Why was he here? Had they found all the Horcruxes? Had they given up on finding them? Was it really him? Pulling out her wand, she faced him. "Where did we have our first kiss?"
"Behind the cedar tree by the Black Lake," James replied without hesitation.
"Oh James," Lily cried, as she threw her arms around him. So many questions entered her head, but she didn't care about them in this moment. All she cared about was her husband was alive and with her.
Sirius finally managed to disentangle himself from his dog. He stood up slowly, finding a smile at the couple embracing as he wiped the dog slobber off his face. Life. He closed his eyes. Life was precious. You never knew how much time you had on this planet, but each moment was precious and should be taken with both hands. He watched his best friend and love of his life and thought of what he could have been. He shook his head, what it could be. He had a chance. He never had really thought about the future. How many twenty one year olds did? Then he was in that hellhole, there was no future there. After he escaped, it was war and Horcruxes. It was something he never thought he would survive and now he had his whole life stretching in front of him and he had no idea what he wanted to do.
"Sirius."
A soft, gentle voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "Hi Lily," he managed, accepting the hug from the red haired woman.
"What?" She started, looking between the two men. They looked alive but awful. Tired beyond belief. "I don't understand."
"Darling, we need to get off the street. It's complicated, it's probably best if Sirius and I aren't seen here," James said, as he took her and pointed up at one of the ripped wanted signs, showing his and Sirius' faces.
"Oh, don't worry about those. No one is actually looking for you two."
"Maybe not here, but with that reward, someone might," Sirius cut in. "Lily, it's best if we move."
"Okay," Lily replied, as she led her husband towards their house. A thousand questions exploded in her head. Why were they here? Were they in danger? Had they failed? But she knew they wouldn't be answered now. Opening the door, she waited as the two men and dog filed in. After closing the door, she took a proper look at them. James looked utterly exhausted, and Sirius looked, well, half dead. "I'm going to Ellie to check you two over." Her worries heightened when all she got was a murmured thanks from her husband and no response from Sirius.
"You okay mate?" James whispered, eyeing the slumped form, as Lily left the room.
"Fine, just really tired," Sirius replied, as he sank back on the sofa, covering his eyes with his hand.
"Are you sure? Nothing, I don't know."
"Apart from that, I've never felt as tired as I have in my whole life. No, apart from that, I'm okay. Can you…" Sirius trailed off, shooting a silent glance at his friend.
"I won't say anything, " James said, shaking his head. "But if you get worse or Ellie picks something that she doesn't understand and thinks it might kill you, then I will."
"Fair enough," Sirius replied quietly, his eyes tracking over to the door, as two figures appeared. He looked at James, before falling silent.
"Good morning," Ellie greeted, as she walked into the living room. She looked at the two men carefully. She had met James on numerous occasions. Sirius, however, she had only met a couple of times since school. And of both those times he had needed some form of healing. Today, he looked different. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on. There didn't appear to be anything dramatically wrong with him. He looked utterly exhausted, but there was something else.
"James, do you mind if I cast a diagnostic spell?"
"Sure, go ahead," James replied, waving his hand dismissively.
"You seem fine. Tired, and," Ellie started.
"It's been a long few months on the road. We haven't really had the opportunity to eat well, or sleep amazingly," James explained with a small smile. He glanced across at his friend. At the slightly sunken figure. The closed eyes. "Mate," he said quietly, gently tapping Sirius's leg.
Sirius opened his eyes slowly. They seemed to weighed down with 100kg weights. All he wanted to do was sleep. He knew it sounded ungrateful, especially as Lily had given up her home and Ellie had come over had whatever hour it was. But he felt so tired that every joint ached. Muscles he didn't know he had hurt. His mind was anything but clear. "My apologies, I must have drifted off," he managed.
"That's okay," Ellie replied, watching him carefully. "Are you okay if I cast a diagnostic spell on you?"
"Of course," Sirius replied, managing a small smile for good measure. "After we dragged you out here at whatever time this is."
"It's not a problem," Ellie replied. Her eyes travelled over his tall, slightly too lean frame. She couldn't see anything overly wrong with him, but she couldn't rule out internal injuries. She frowned when she got the result.
"Ellie?" Lily questioned, watching her friend's confused expression.
"It's been a long few months on the road," Sirius said, seeing the healer's confused expression. "We didn't have the opportunity to eat the healthiest food. We've been camping in all weather. And we've had a couple of minor run-ins with Death Eaters."
'Couple of minor run-ins with Death Eaters' Ellie reflected with a raised eyebrow. Yes, and Voldemort would win Wizard of the year and start visiting a children's hospital. "Sirius, do you mind if I run it again?"
"Of course not. I can only apologise again for dragging you out at this hour."
"It's not a problem, I'm happy to help," Ellie replied with a slight tense smile. She quickly performed the spell again. It came back the same, although the unknown element seemed to have faded. The others were the same as James, just enhanced. Exhaustion. Slight malnutrition. Dark magic seemed to be reeking off him. There was something else. Something she couldn't quite place but it didn't seem to be harming him. "You're exhausted and you need to start eating better, but you already knew that."
"I'm sorry we dragged you here for that," Sirius replied, flashing a smile, hoping she didn't see the relief flicker across his eyes.
Lily watched her husband, and then Sirius. Something had happened. Something big had happened. Something her husband had worried out of his mind about. Something that scared Sirius as well. "So," she started. "What happened?"
James glanced at Sirius, trying to figure out what they were going to say. How they were going to say it. "Well, things happened."
"I've heard things, rumours," Ellie said slowly, eyeing the two men in front of her. "That he shall not be named is, is dead"
He vaguely heard Lily's gasp. He felt James move next to him. He was too tired. Too numb. But they deserved to know. They deserved to know it was over. "They are not rumours," Sirius started slowly. "It's true, Voldemort is dead. It's over."
"He's dead!" Lily exclaimed, her eyes darting between her husband and his best friend. She watched James nod, whilst Sirius remained still. "How?"
"Not now Lily," James said quietly, sensing Sirius' discomfort.
"But James!"
"I promise I'll explain everything, it's just been a long-." James sighed and looked across at his still friend. "It's been a long few years."
"Yes, okay," Lily replied slowly, her eyes still darting between her husband and his best friend. "Sirius, are you okay?"
"Yeah," Sirius replied with a tight smile. "Just tired, that's all." He took a breath and rubbed his face. Tired? That definition paled to how he actually felt. The term bone tired didn't even scratch the surface. He was emotionally and physically spent. His whole life he had been fighting against the dark arts, and since the age of sixteen, Voldemort. Now it was over. "I think I might just head to bed if that's okay with everyone."
"Of course," Lily said, watching her husband's best carefully. There was something off with him. She couldn't place it. Ellie's diagnostic spells had revealed he was just tired, nothing else. But her instinct just told her there was something far more than tiredness. She knew Sirius was probably emotionally spent as well. But it was more than that. She knew her husband was hiding something from her as well. She knew they had been searching for Horcruxes. She knew Horcruxes were creating some of the darkest magic known to wizarding kind. She knew dark magic was needed to destroy them. But what dark magic, she didn't know. Knowing who had created them, she knew it had to be the darkest magic known in their world. "Sirius, are you sure you are, okay?"
"I'm fine, thank Lily." Sirius slowly stood, forcing his aching body to cooperate one more time. "Thank you again Ellie," he said, holding out his hand. "I'm sorry we disturbed your day for nothing."
"It was nothing Sirius, I was just doing my job," Ellie replied, taking his hand and standing a little straighter. "Thank you."
Sirius shrugged and made a slight face. "But thank you. And I was only doing my job.""Lily," Sirius said, as he crossed the room and lightly pecked her cheek. "Thank you for letting me stay."
"Sirius," Lily said, taking Sirius into her arms and hugging him tightly. "When I married him, I knew you were part of the package. That's not change for the foreseeable future."
Sirius laughed. "Still, thank you." He pulled back and walked towards the door. "Cheers Prongs." He gave his friend a meaningful glance.
James nodded and punched Sirius's arm. "Of course, I will mate."
Without a further word, Sirius made his way slowly to the stairs, Lancelot following faithfully behind. He pulled himself upstairs knowing if he stopped now, he would collapse. He made it into the spare room, managing to cast off his boots and jacket before collapsing onto the bed. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.
Ellie looked around the room for a moment, before eyes returned briefly to the couple in front of her. She had often stayed at the Potters. She considered Lily her best friend. But since the war had begun in earnest, and James had left She had found herself a frequent visitor. Neither woman wanting to be alone. It wasn't because they thought they lacked the ability to defend themselves, far from it. It was more than want, the need for companionship in some of their world's darkest days. "I'll-"
"No," James said, standing. "Please don't leave on my account."
"What happened?" Lily asked, as she silently moved to stand next to her husband.
James looked at the two women for a moment. Whilst he was out hunting Horcruxes with Sirius, it wasn't as if these two women were sitting idly by knitting socks for House Elves. No, they were just as much at the front line as he had been. "I can't tell you everything yet. Some things because of the arresting process and others because, well Sirius and it's complicated."
"James?"
"I knew most of it, but I still didn't totally understand the full weight Sirius carried on his shoulders."
"Was he the one, who, well?" Ellie asked.
"Yeah, he killed Voldemort."
Ellie nodded, and grinned at her best friend. "What did I tell you at school, he would grow up and become serious."
Lily rolled her eyes, as James burst out laughing. "Really El, really?! Did you have to do that?"
"What?"
"You forget, with those two, they may act like adults some of the time but in reality, they are teenagers. Sirius and serious," Lily repeated, still rolling eyes and wondering what to do with her husband.
"Oh. God, that's worse than my dad's jokes and they are bad!"
"Anyway James," Lily said, shooting him a look. "What happened?"
"As I said, I can't give you the full details, but I can give you the basic facts," James said as he sat up a little straighter. "We destroyed most of the horcruxes, when we discovered one of the last remaining ones, it was in the same village Voldemort was in. We destroyed it and." He stopped for a moment, trying to process the events of the last twenty four hours. Was it really twenty four hours, he asked himself again. "Anyway, we destroyed the last one and that's when Voldemort came out. He went a little nuts because he had killed his pet snake. But Sirius, Sirius tried to bring him in. Saying he would ensure he would have a fair trial."
"He did what?!" Ellie exclaimed.
"I know," James said, shaking his head. "I've never seen anything like it. I've, the only person I've ever seen as composed in front of Voldemort was Dumbledore but Sirius, he was." He stopped for a moment, trying to find the words. "I don't know. He wasn't fearless but he was, just, this force. He took Voldemort by surprise. I've never seen Voldemort hesitant, but he did."
"What happened?" Lily replied, open mouthed.
"Sirius tried to negotiate for several minutes. He gave me the chance to get to a safe place but then Voldemort tried to kill him by cursing him and Sirius shot him."
"Where?" Ellie pushed.
"Between the eyes," James replied, watching the muggle born women. "How hard is that?"
"Elite muggle soldiers can do that, but with a handgun, under pressure and with someone shooting at you, that's serious elite," Ellie explained.
"He is head of aurors, and they from understanding of the muggle world are basically special forces," James put in.
"They are, but they are highly trained with guns. Sirius isn't. I guess, I would be like a second year Hogwarts student performing a highly complexed and controlled spell." Ellie explained. "I know Sirius is elite, but this is something he hasn't been trained in."
"When he puts his mind to things, he can do anything. He's always been like that. School never challenged him."
Ellie stopped and looked at the couple again. They would have never said but she felt she had out stayed her welcome. "I, I need to get work."
"El, I'm sure they'll give you the day off given the circumstances."
Ellie laughed. "No, as fantastic as this news is, we'll be busy. Drunken wizards and witches, then add fireworks. It's never a good combination. I'll make excuses for you though."
"Thanks El," Lily replied, smiling warmly.
"Thank you again Ellie," James said, standing up and taking her hand. "Can I ask you a small favour and-"
"Don't worry James, what you told me, I never heard. I know legally you could tell me, but I suspect you, Lily and Sirius would like your privacy."
"Thank you, Ellie, really thank you," James said standing, taking Ellie's hand. "Not just for me but for Sirius. I don't think people realise how much of a private person he is. He said he was just doing his job, and he was but-. Well, understandably our world is going to go nuts. Someone who threatened our world is dead and Sirius brought peace. As I said he'll say it's his job but-"
Ellie nodded. "Don't worry I won't breathe a word of this but after a twelve hour shift of treating wounds from over-excitable witches and wizards, you two might owe me," she joked.
James found himself laughing again. An action that seemed so foreign to him over the last few months, but it felt good. It felt amazing. It felt impossible. But it wasn't. He was alive. Lily was alive. Harry was alive. Sirius was alive. Voldemort was dead. He knew he should celebrate the death of someone, but it was Voldemort. It was different. "Thank you again Ellie."
"I'll see you soon," Ellie said, as she hugged Lily.
"Thanks El, are you sure you don't need anything?" Lily asked, as she walked towards her friend and the door.
"No, I'm okay. See you later James," Ellie said, as she waved at the tired looking man.
Once they were out of earshot, Lily turned towards her friend. "Are you sure they are, okay? What did you find with Sirius?"
"I don't know. He's exhausted but there was something I didn't understand in the first diagnostic spell, but it seemed to have faded in the second one. He reeked of Dark Magic," Ellie explained. "I'm sure he's fine, but you should keep an eye on him. If he gets worse, get me straight away."
"Do you think he will?" Lily asked urgently. "What about James?"
"Sirius, I don't know. I know he's one tough bugger. James? Lily, I promise you he's fine. He's tired, and he has been exposed to Dark Magic, but given what we can only guess what they were doing, that's a given."
Lily nodded and found a smile. "I'll see you later."
Ellie smiled, took a handful of powder and stepped into the fire. "St. Mungo's." There was a flash of green smoke, and she was gone.
So, this and the soon to be written chapter 49, were going to be one chapter. But I got a little over enthusiastic. This fic was going to be 50 chapters, I guess it will now be 51 chapters. A massive thanks to everyone who continues to review, favourited, followed so far.
