YOU THERE! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, READING THIS CLASSIFIED INFORMA-Okay, it's not classified. But it should be…it contains information on one of JAGOW's biggest mistakes…and that was underestimating that civilian, Nick Grey. He killed one of our commanding officers, General Charles the Third, and he has to pay. I, Big John, will carry out the execution MYSELF.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Oh, right. You haven't heard of me.
Well I'M an old general of GEDOW. We opposed Viewtiful Joe and his dumb girlfriend after he beat JADOW. You people don't know about THAT yet, because the sequel to "Viewtiful Joe" hasn't been released yet, but when it is, look for me! I'll be popping up ALL the time!
Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, right!
I can do anything I wish in this sector…and my dinosaur slave-armies and Bianky platoons are tearing the outer city regions apart. Soon we'll surround the nearby city of Movieopolis, and launch a full-scale strike, taking out their defenses, and moving in to destroy them. I could use a little snack, anyway.
Just wait, Nick Grey…you're about to get a sentence worse than court-martialing! Time to move out!
Nick rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
Hmm…what to do…
This would be a tough decision.
Cocoa Crisp or Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Nick liked chocolate a lot, but he liked cinnamon toast too. Hmm…this would be tough. His hair was messy, and signs of bed-head still remained. He'd fix it up after breakfast and a shower, he decided. But first he had to pick what cereal to eat.
A kid set down some Lucky Charms and he instantly changed grabbed a bowl from the cupboard of the hotel's kitchen.
The hotel was packed with people who had all come to see the "Triumphant new action hero, Nick Grey." Already the papers were talking about what a great job he'd done on Charles the Third, whose body hadn't been moved quite yet. People hadn't finished dancing around the body yet, you see.
Nick scarfed down the bowl of Lucky Charms, and then rushed upstairs to take a nice, relaxing shower. Very relaxing…ahh…a nice hot shower really soothed the sore muscles after a fight!
He even began to sing a little, belting out the entire ballad of "99 Red Balloons".
"99 red balloons, floating in the summer sky! Panic bells, it's red alert! There's something here from somewhere else…a war machine it springs to life! Opens up one eager eye! Focuses in on the sky, as 99 red balloons go byyyy!" He then drew the shower curtain aside after finally finishing the song, only to find about five people were present in the bathroom. One was holding up a lighter, and the rest were clapping.
"Encore!" they said.
After Nick had shooed them out of the shower, he dried himself off with a large, blue towel and headed back to his room to change into his newly washed and dried clothes. Boy, the hotel did EVERYTHING for him! He put them back on, and their fresh from the dryer-warmth comforted him a little bit more. He looked out his bedroom window and smiled at how sunny and bright the day was. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, even!
Which was a good thing…because if there HAD been…he might have not seen it.
But see it he did. A MISSILE. Heading right towards the hotel! HOLY SHIT!
Nick ran into the corridor, screaming that a missile was coming, and that everyone should run out of the hotel NOW. People screamed and ran, kids cried and parents picked them up in their arms as they stampeded down stairs and into elevators.
Nick, however, opened up the window and squirmed out onto the nice, not-too-slanted roof of the hotel, and took a closer look at the missile. It was red tipped, with a black paint job on it. It looked very large.
But Nick had a plan! Once more he shouted out "TIME TO ROCK! HENSHIN!" and transformed. Then he positioned himself on the roof, and waited for the missile to come closer…closer…eventually it came close enough for Nick to use SLOW!
Now the missile was moving very slowly. Slow enough for Nick to run across the roof, jump at it, and punch it in it's head. The missile spun around and around, and the turned itself in the opposite direction…towards a very large forest. Hmm…
Nick decided to investigate, Grabbing onto the tail of the missile, he road the rocket of death into the forest, as it slowly curved towards the trees…heading towards what was obviously a military installation. There were radar poles, tons of bianky soldiers, and tents, tents, tents EVERYWHERE! A mess hall and infirmary made up the northwest part of the camp, and in the center was a tall flagpole with a sickening black and red flag flying from it's top. JAGOW was at it again.
Nick noticed that the missile was now turning to the EAST…towards the missile silos of the camp. He jumped off into a heavily brushy tree, and watched in satisfaction s the missile flew right into a silo that was just pushing another missile up. The resulting explosion from the crash caused BOTH missiles to explode, something that ended up taking out the silos nearby…and several dozen soldiers to boot.
Nick would have jumped for joy, but he didn't want to be seen. Stealth was the name of this game, after all. An angry roar suddenly made him wince. It was a slightly odd sound, which sounded sort of alien. He'd heard sounds like it before, similar roars…but they didn't compare to the REAL thing. Then he made the connection. It was an army's base, wasn't it? And the missiles…and the army fatigues everywhere…this meant one thing.
JAGOW soldiers…and they meant business. Nick looked at the flagpole of the base, where a HUGE red tyrannosaurus was screaming at quivering Biankys. He had two large claws on the end of each arm, and big taloned feet. He was wearing a large, bulletproof jacket of some sort, with a big green belt and army boots. Typical camouflage pants were also present. The dinosaur had large yellow eyes like Charles the Third, and had MANY, MANY, sharp teeth and a big red tongue. His accent made him sound just like what he was…a drill sergeant.
The dinosaur was roaring in anger and frustration, pissed that the silos had been blown to kingdom come. "WHAT TO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED? YOU FUCKED UP SOMEHOW, YOU STUPID IDIOTS! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BE COURT-MARTIALED FOR THIS! " Not a single soldier spoke up, all hung their heads. The drill sergeant Big John paced back and forth, fuming in anger.
"It's probably the work of Nick Grey…that stupid civilian did SOMETHING…I just know it…"
Nick had an urge to go up and kick the big dolt, but he suppressed it. Big John then turned to the soldiers again and shouted out something that scared Nick a lot…
"We are to attack at 0900, you got that? 0900!" His biankys nodded. "9:00 on the dot, sir!" "Now move out!"
Suddenly a little radio message sprung from the sergeant's clip-on radio. He held it up to his ear, and nodded. Uttering out a "Over and out", he addressed them again.
"Change of plans…we attack in 2 hours instead of 3. MOVE OUT!" He saluted them, and then walked off, each step shaking the ground. Nick was shaking either way, in fear and horror. Two hours before the city would be attacked…SHIT!
He needed a plan! A James-Bond style plan…
A nuke! He needed a nuke! He'd get a nuke to detonate in the middle of the base, blow up Big John and company, and then return to the city, triumphant again! He grinned, and looked down at the ground. Then he looked around to make sure nobody saw him jump down. He quickly ran over to a weapons storage warehouse, and took a peek in it's window, avoiding a few measly sentries. The warehouse was LOADED to the brim with guns, missiles and ammunition. There were some torture devices in there too. He saw an old-fashioned medieval torture rack among the piles of guns. But the missiles were enormous, and just right for blowing up a large military base.
Now to sneak in…hmm…
Nick looked around. If anyone heard him try to go in through the window, he'd be screwed. The sound of glass breaking was a universal sound of trouble. If only he had a razor he could use to slowly cut the window open with…wait! A sharp rock was below the window. Now he needed time…and time was something he had a lot of…if he used SLOW/
He quickly and quietly whispered "Time to rock, HENSHIN." and transformed again. He then used the power of SLOW to cut open a large hole to climb through. After a piece fell out, he grabbed it and stuffed it in his pocket. He squirmed into the window (The suit REALLY slimmed you down) and then SLOWLY replaced the glass. He ducked to the left of the glass so as not to be seen, and gazed at the many missiles and guns. Hmm…he needed a timer-bomb, and a freakingly powerful missile that could annihilate anything within a one mile radius.
He found a timer-bomb easily enough…but it was at the top of a pile of machine guns. CRAP! He carefully and SLOWLY climbed up the hill of guns, and managed to pick the timer-bomb off. Then he jumped back to the ground, and placed it down. Now for the missile.
There was "Big Bertha"…naw.
"Johnny Rocketfingers"…nope.
"Little Big Man…"…good movie, by the way. But not a good missile.
Then he found it. It looked like a little wind-up toy. It was labeled "Big Boy". The warning label on it's side said anything within a one mile radius of the missile would be fried to bits. PERFECT.
He picked up the two bombs and placed them in separate pockets. Then he snuck out towards the window…only to find that someone was opening the back door of the warehouse! Sentry Biankys!
He dived into a pile of dynamite, and realized only then how HEAVY the stuff was. It was practically crushing him. The Biankys were doing a little inspection of the warehouse, joking and jesting. One of them was talking about how much being in the army sucked. The other was making comments on "How I'd rather have joined Gran Bruce's division if it hadn't been for my sea-sickness."
Leave you dicks…LEAVE. But they kept joking and laughing. Nick had had enough. He slowly stepped out from the dynamite, and activated SLOW again, creeping up on them. They never saw what punched their heads off. Nick clapped his hands, and turned…
Only to have the warehouse lights turn on instantly, illuminating the entire place…making the dark warehouse lighter…and it was now easy to see inside the place.
"Curse you, "clapper"!"Nick muttered.
People were turning their heads to see inside the newly lit warehouse, and Nick tore out of the place, ducking out the exit and hiding in a bunch of bushes as sentries ran towards the warehouse.
Now though, the center of the camp was clear. Nick took a quick look around, and then ran towards the flagpole. He placed the bomb underneath a flimsy cardboard box next to the timer bomb, and then ran like hell out of the camp, headed towards the city.
Meanwhile, Big John was tapping his feet. How long was it gonna take? He wasn't a patient person. When would he arrive?
Nick ran and ran and ran…and finally noticed he was near the "You are entering Movieopolis" sign. It was finally in sight. He took another step forward…and then a big form stepped out of the bushes.
"My men may not have seen you in the tree…but I did. You're that civilian, Nick Grey. You seem to be impersonating an officer now…ANOTHER offense added to your list of charges! Your sentence is death, carried out by the commanding officer of the 4th Elite Panzer Division! The promotion is recent. Anyway…on to executing you. You're POND scum compared to the mighty JAGOW forces, and it's time someone put you in your place."
"Uh, where on Earth did you come from?" "I'm a former member of GEDOW, another organization of evil…not that you'll be around long enough in ANY world to get the game where I appear in." "So they DO make a sequel." "They make three." "Cool!" "And I'M in the second one. Half of our forces from JADOW, half from GEDOW, to make the JAGOW!" "Okaaaay…" "Anyway, on to executing you."
"Don't forget a nice army tune to fight by!" "Oh, right! I forgot all about that…I'll give myself corporal punishment later for forgetting." He pressed a button on his belt, and the theme music started up.
BGM: Drill Sergeant (Dinosaur Sergeant Big John's Theme)
"You're not going to be able to punish yourself…because I'm making you extinct right now!"
Big John let out a terrible roar, and charged Nick, who ran around the charging dinosaur. Big John simply whipped his tail, causing Nick to go flying into a tree. He slid down, groaning. Big John let out a loud laugh, and charged again. Nick scrambled up the tree, and the drill sergeant crashed into the tree, letting out a groan himself. He plopped onto his butt, and rubbed his head. Nick took the opportunity to jump down at perform a river-dance on the jerk's head. The merry kicking jig gave Big John a mighty headache, and the dinosaur staggered back in agony, jerking his head so Nick went flying off.
Nick landed deftly, giving him a "Come on" gesture with his left hand. The dino suddenly pulled out the biggest freaking bazooka Nick had ever seen! Nick ducked just in time as the bazooka's missile flew off, blowing up a nearby grove of trees. Nick ran towards the crazy sergeant as the said sergeant fired off ANOTHER round. Nick used SLOW this time, and as it slowly inched towards him, he punched with all his might, and the missile flew right back at Big John, who went flying back about 20 yards from the resulting explosion.
Nick ran up and did another river-dance kicking jig on Big John's head, but this time Big John snapped his head back quite quickly, and Nick went flying straight up into the air. Big John opened up his jaws, and Nick fell right into the dinosaur's open maw. The jaws snapped, and Big John gulped, then laughed in success…only to find that Nick was stuck in his throat! He clawed at his throat, desperate to remove the kid, and tried coughing him back up…but it was too late. He let out a gurgle, and fell over. His wide mouth opened up in the process, and Nick climbed out. He dusted himself off, and spat out dino drool.
"Yuck. No wonder you guys went extinct. You never brushed your teeth! Shouldn't you at least take a breath mint?" Suddenly Big John regained consciousness, and stood up, roaring! He charged at Nick, slashing with his claws. Nick jumped back, and back and back, and then found himself up against a tree AGAIN. Big John charged…
And Nick performed a slick move that Joe would have been proud off. Using SLOW, he ran up the tree and kicked off, landing on Big John's head. A mighty kicking jog resulted AGAIN, and Nick put extra "oomph" into this recent assault, giving the jerk one last big kick as he jumped off. Big John staggered back quite a long ways, and Nick recognized this was his chance to blow the base up to kingdom come. He pulled out the timer from the timer bomb, and pressed the trigger mechanism down.
An enormous dome of fire erupted from the center of the base, and it quickly consumed the whole area, sweeping through the forest…towards HIM! He took a look at Big John, who was point right at Nick, totally unaware of the approaching nuclear Armageddon.
"YOU'RE FINISHED, YOU MAGGOT!" "Hey Big John…know what killed the jungle-dwelling dinosaur? ME." With that, Nick tossed the now-useless trigger and ran towards the city at full speed. Big John stupidly stared after him, but then heard the roar of the fiery explosion approaching. He turned just in time to see it coming at him, and fast. He let out a scream of fear, and vainly held out his hands to stop it, but the moment he was encased in the growing blast zone he combusted with a disgusting sort of squelchy "pop"-like sound.
(Stop the music)
Big John was now fossil fuel…but Nick was still not in the safety of the city. He was running quite fast with MACH SPEED, but it wasn't fast enough. He didn't get fried, but he was hit by the last remnants of the shock-wave that resulted, and went flying into the city, landing hard on the sidewalk. People crowded around, and his vision was all blurry and darkening…he lost consciousness before anyone could do anything, and he wondered, before leaving the physical world, if he'd really saved the city.
Many miles away, Hulk Davidson was polishing his axe. He had recently gotten the call that Big John AND Charles had been "iced" by that "son of a bitch" Nick Grey. It was time for Hulk to step up to the challenge. The kid couldn't just get away with killing two generals…that stirred up rebellion in the areas that JAGOW needed to conquer.
Hulk grinned a nasty grin, and swung his axe around a bit. Ah…what a lovely SWOOSH. He had been yearning for action for quite a while now…and finally he could get his wish.
Meanwhile, Alastor was playing cards with Bloody Rachel, bored and…unhappy.
He had liked it better when he'd been fighting against Joe and his friends. There wasn't a challenge to conquer anymore now that they were incapacitated.
However the kid Nick brought a smile to Alastor's face. The kid was turning out to be a tough fighter. Maybe worthy of Alastor.
But what…what was this that he was feeling? A memory…of…of fighting AGAINST evil…with that girl…that girl, Goldie. Sylvia's sister, her twin sister. Memories, of a romantic evening out with Goldie, a trip to the movie's that went bad. Of seeing Captain Blue give him the v-watch…and of him fighting against JADOW. He remembered…and what was this that he was feeling? Was it really-nah.
It couldn't be. Nostalgia?
Bloody Rachel was silent. She wasn't really interested in helping JAGOW…she was secretly rooting for Nick.
Originally, Rachel had been happily hanging out in a nice beach area in Movieland, giving tours of the area. When JAGOW had come to "collect her", she pretended that she had been working undercover, looking for traces of Joe. They bought it completely, but maybe that was just because they were too busy looking at her golden, robotic body to care about what she was saying.
But nevertheless, the JAGOW generals thought she was back to her normal "destroy everything that's Joe" self, and she had to act the part. She emotionlessly pronounced that she had four queens, and thus beat Alastor's three of a kid. Alastor grumbled, and reshuffled the deck. Guard duty sucked. A LOT.
He found himself wishing he was with Goldie again…remembering how beautiful she'd been…how much he'd cared about her…remembering the kiss she'd given him.
Could it be nostalgia?
