Okay, so a lot of stuff is going to be happening in this chapter. Lots of strong emotional stuff. I hope you're all ready for it. But first, as always, reviewer responses:
Moving Mountains – Better and better by the chapter? What a sweet thing to say. I'm so very pleased you're enjoying it so much. I have a feeling that you'll keep thinking that after this chapter (although I might just be a little biased to think it's great).
RaeRobFan – I'm glad you enjoyed my way of dismissing Beast Boy. See, I can be funny at times. Just not in the actual story itself. I know you'll like this chapter a lot. I'm already looking forward to your response.
Serasvictoria666 – I'm glad you like. So you want BB away from Raven too, huh? My, we think alike. Let me tell you, a vulnerable Beast Boy and a vulnerable Raven could make for some bad situations. I figured I'd play dad and separate the hormone driven kids. Now Robin and Raven can be together. And of course you're right – Robin and Raven are staying put. Much better that way.
Z Star the Hidden Dragon – Yes, alas BB would have suffered greatly if I kept him in the story. See, I can be compassionate. And yes, the Cyborg/Starfire discussion is interesting to say the least. It took me so long to get it right, so I hope you're appreciative. Oh, and I'm officially giving you your warning (you know what I mean)
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Cyborg brushed aside some low hanging branches with his hand, being careful to step over a fallen tree as he did so. A cool breeze blew through the trees, rustling them gently. The foliage swayed in the wind, almost seeming to dance.
Several birds, sitting high atop the trees, let out loud chirps, singing beautiful songs. Cyborg looked up as he continued forward, trying to find the small birds, but they were too well hidden in the thick leaves high above.
Glancing down at his forearm, Cyborg checked to make sure he was still on track. A faint red light pulsated ever so slightly in the centre at the very top of his display, indicating Starfire was still directly ahead of him. As far as Cyborg could tell, she hadn't moved since he had begun monitoring her. But at the very least the steady heartbeat meant she was still alive.
The soft grass on the hillside cushioned Cyborg's feet as he took each step, climbing ever higher through the forest on the sloping landscape. Pushing his way past clumps of bushes and large trees, Cyborg emerged from the forest into a small meadow overlooking the city. Starfire was sitting in the middle of the clearing, hugging her legs tightly against her chest.
Cyborg touched his forearm, closing the scanner program, and slowly walked across the grass. "Starfire," he said gently. "Are you okay?"
"I am not," she replied softly. Starfire turned her head to look up at Cyborg. Bags hung under her puffy eyes, and her cheeks were stained from tears. "How could you say those things?"
Cyborg knelt down and placed his hand on her shoulder. "What you think you saw didn't actually happen, Star."
Her emerald eyes stared back, unflinching but full of confusion. "You cannot undue what you said."
Cyborg shook his head. "No, I seriously mean it didn't really happen."
"You are not making sense." Starfire lowered her head, resting her chin on the tops of her knees. "Please go. I know all of you wish for me to leave."
Cyborg lowered himself to the grass beside Starfire and stared out at the cityscape. "Starfire, I promise you that's not true."
"You are horrible to play this trick on me."
Looking as though she was about to stand, Cyborg placed his hand on her shoulder once more. "It's no trick. This woman was messing with our minds."
Starfire sniffed and wiped the corner of her eye. "What is it you mean?"
"Some woman used our fears against us. She created images of what scared us the most. I saw Brother Blood and Robin fought Madame Rouge. Raven thought Trigon came back."
"I do not understand."
"Okay, let me try to explain. What happened to you after we arrived at the bank downtown?"
"But you were there."
"Yeah, but I saw something different. Someone created a different reality for each one of us. Brother Blood attacked me. Something happened to you that didn't happen to any of us. So what did you see?"
"When my sister came, you and the others instructed me to leave. You made it clear that I was to be replaced by her."
"You saw each one of us?"
She slowly nodded her head.
"But if I was fighting Brother Blood and Raven saw Trigon, how could we have been talking to you?"
"I am unsure what you mean."
"Raven discovered a woman inside her mind. She was creating images, putting us all through our fears. You remember when Blackfire was here and those crazy probes were after you? You thought we all liked her more. How did that make you feel?"
"I was unhappy and afraid."
"This woman used our fears against us. She entered our minds and found out what each of us are afraid of. She knows that one of your fears was being replaced and having us abandon you."
"So that did not truly happen?"
"Trust me, Star, it didn't happen. We would never replace you. You're family."
Starfire smiled and leaned against Cyborg's shoulder. "This woman, who is she?"
"We don't know. Raven felt her and broke her hold on all of us. Robin and Raven are searching for her right now."
Starfire furrowed her eyebrows, looking concerned and upset. "Why would someone attack us this way? Who would want to damage our emotions?"
"I don't know," Cyborg replied. "But that's what we've got to find out."
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The sun slowly waned from view as it dipped over the horizon, casting the sky in a rich pinkish orange. Standing with crossed arms, Robin surveyed the streets from the roof of one of Jump City's taller buildings, his shadow gradually shrinking behind him. Lights steadily appeared in all directions below him, adjusting to the fading sky. Robin's cape danced rhythmically in the breeze, which was much stronger far above street level; even his rigidly gelled hair moved stiffly.
Raven stood several feet to Robin's right, quietly staring at the buildings that stretched for kilometres into the distance, strands of hair sporadically waving in front of her face. She felt the tiniest prick on her shoulder and turned her head to see a droplet of water begin to run down her arm. Raven looked up to the sky and was met by cool splashes on her cheeks and forehead.
"I hate rain," Raven mumbled, pulling her hood up.
Uncrossing his arms, Robin turned his palms upwards to face the sky, watching a small amount of water pool in the centre of his smooth gloves. "It's only a light rain."
"Doesn't mean I can't like it."
Robin smiled, letting his arms fall down to his side.
Two beeps fired off in succession, startling Robin. Regaining his composure, he unclipped the communicator from his belt and opened it. He was greeted to a smiling Cyborg. "Cyborg, have you found Starfire?"
Cyborg nodded. "Yeah, I found our girl."
"Is she okay?"
"She's just fine. Now at least."
"What happened to her?"
"Star saw Blackfire."
"I should have guessed," Robin said. "Did she fight her?"
"Nope. Blackfire showed up and was welcomed into the group. We even told Star we didn't need her anymore."
"Starfire was afraid she was going to be replaced when we first met Blackfire. I'm not surprised that was the fear she saw. But everything's fine now?"
"Yeah, everything's fine. It took a lot of convincing, but she finally understands what happened."
"I'm glad to hear it."
"Well, she's still a little shaken up. Star knows it wasn't real, but she's upset that someone would play with her emotions like that."
Robin paused to wipe a thin streak of water from beneath his eye. "Where is she now?"
"Flying over the city, looking for whoever it is we're looking for. I'm just about to start searching too. Maybe my scanners can pick something up."
"Let's hope one of us can."
"I take it you've had no luck?"
Robin sighed. "Nothing's happened since we split up."
"You think anything will happen?"
"I don't know what to think. There's no telling just how powerful she is—or what it is she's after."
"How's Raven feeling? Has she been able to sense anything?"
"Still doesn't feel like herself, so no."
"She'll get better. But do you think maybe we should break off the search for now? Give everyone a chance to get their strength back?"
"No. We've got to find her."
"I figured you'd say that. Thought I might as well ask. Alright, but we might meet up with you and Raven later to coordinate."
"Sounds good. Good luck."
"You too, Robin."
Robin snapped the communicator shut and slid it back on his belt, wiping more rain from his face. In the dimming light, his exposed skin glimmered from the moisture covering it. His vision was filled with thin lines falling from above. Robin looked over his shoulder at Raven, who had hunched her back and was staring straight ahead with a scowl, clearly displeased at the current circumstances. He couldn't help but smile faintly to himself, but did it discretely so Raven would not see. Looking forward again, Robin said, "Don't worry, it'll stop soon."
Raven did not reply, but did let her shoulders drop, no longer looking so unhappy. Then she said, "I'm glad Starfire's okay."
"Me too. I was really worried."
"I know," Raven replied. "I'm sorry I couldn't find her."
Robin turned around to look at Raven, noticing she appeared genuinely upset with herself. "Raven, there's no need to apologize. It's not your fault."
"I could've tried harder."
"Starfire's fine. There's no need to worry about it."
"I know. It's just that you wanted to rely on me to find her. And now you're relying on me again to find this woman. But I don't know if I can do it."
"It's okay if you can't. I know having her inside your head upset you."
Raven took a step to the side, turning away from Robin. "Actually, it's more than just that."
"Raven, what's wrong?"
Before she could answer, a high-pitched voice travelled through the air. "Robin!"
Robin and Raven whirled around to see Starfire descending to the building roof, waving furiously and sporting a gigantic smile on her face. She rushed over and wrapped her arms around Robin tightly, sighing happily. "I am elated to see you!"
"It's good to see you too," Robin said, holding his hands to her waist.
"Where's Cyborg?" Raven asked, putting her hands on her hips.
Starfire pulled away from Robin, keeping her hands firmly on his shoulders. "He has gone to check on Beast Boy. He was most concerned for him."
Raven looked at her suspiciously. "You got here awfully fast."
"I came right away. I thought it best to find you and Robin before continuing my search. This was a good idea, was it not?"
"Of course, Starfire," Robin said. Slowly he pulled her closer, pressing their bodies together. Starfire slid her hand up Robin's neck, running it through his jet-black hair. Closing her eyes, her lips locked with his, opening enough to slide her tongue into his mouth.
Raven could not react. She stood motionless, horrified at the sight. Her fingers trembled ever so slightly and her knees buckled. Raven clutched at her stomach, feeling a hollow pain, and air no longer passed into her lungs; she could not breathe. She tried to speak, but only a harsh scratching sound left her mouth.
Starfire pressed her lips to Robin's more firmly, rubbing her body against him. She opened one eye and her pupil focused on Raven, almost as if to say, He's mine.
"No," Raven choked out, barely a whisper. Raven closed her eyes tightly as water trickled out from the corners, quickly running down her already wet face. Her chest felt tense and throbbing erupted inside her head.
This could not be happening. Raven had already received deep wounds from Beast Boy earlier that day—another rejection was too heavy to bear. Robin would never simply kiss Starfire, especially with Raven beside him.
Raven's eyes snapped open, realizing the truth. She was right: Robin never would simply kiss Starfire with Raven there. The soft tears flowing from her eyes dried up and strength returned to her body. Starfire and Robin flickered, becoming transparent before Raven's eyes. Their legs faded away, gradually building upwards, until their entire bodies had been consumed and were gone.
"I know you're here," Raven said.
"You're fairly impressive." The woman's voice was soft, almost tender. "Even in your weakened state you're able to resist me. But I doubt any of your friends are as strong."
"Don't you touch them."
The woman laughed harshly, the sound carrying through the still air. "Your strength surprised me the first time, but you won't be so lucky ever again."
"Who are you?" Raven demanded.
"Phobia."
The word echoed sonorously, rattling Raven. A bright flash of light burst out in front of Raven, and she thrust her arm upwards to shield her eyes from the intensity of it. It faded away instantaneously and she blinked several times, clearing her vision.
"Raven, are you alright?"
She lifted one eyelid, barely squinting, and Robin was standing in front of her, a look of concern on his face.
"The last thing you said was that it wasn't just having someone inside your head that was throwing you off. Then you started talking like someone else was here. Were you under another illusion?"
Raven placed her hand on her forehead, supporting a very weak head. "I was."
"How are you feeling?"
"Robin, can we get out of this rain? We need to talk."
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Each footstep rang out through the bare, empty building. Robin ran his hand along a wide, rusted steel column, which ran forty feet upwards to the ceiling. He stepped past the column, stumbling over a metal rod lying on the floor, and cursed under his breath. Dull light flowed through the wide windows running along the sides of the warehouse just below its ceiling, leaving the edifice cast mostly in shadows.
"Nice warehouse," Raven muttered.
"At least it's dry." Robin raised his hand, pointing to one of the warehouse walls. "Come on, I think there are some chairs over there."
The two walked toward the wall, carefully minding where they stepped. Reaching the wall, Robin felt the obstructions he had seen, relieved to find they were indeed chairs. Brushing some of the dust off it, he swivelled the wooden chair to face him and flopped down. The chair groaned and squeaked under Robin's fidgeting, until he had found himself a comfortable position. Raven lightly descended into one of the other chairs, barely making a noise.
"Okay Raven. We're out of the rain. You said we needed to talk."
Raven nodded in the darkness. "I want to tell you why I can't focus my powers."
"I thought you said it was because you weren't used to having someone in your head."
"That's part of it. But it's not why I was vulnerable to begin with."
"To begin with?" Robin asked. "So you were distracted by something back in the Tower, before any of these illusions began."
"Yeah." Raven sat still, staring down at the floor. "I was confused."
"By what?"
"Beast Boy."
Robin leaned forward in his chair. "You were confused by Beast Boy? What do you mean?"
"When you guys were making lunch, I went into Beast Boy's room. I wanted to talk to him, to try to comfort him as best I could. He brushed me off like he didn't even care about me at all."
"He was thinking about Terra."
"That's the problem!" Raven blurted out, raising her head up. "I wanted to help him, but all he could think about was that bitch. She betrayed all of us and tried to kill us. And yet he cares more about her than he does about me."
"You love him, don't you?"
"No," Raven snapped, fiercely turning her head away. She sighed, looking back down at the ground. "I mean, I think I did. Maybe I still do, I don't know. I really can't say how I feel about him. It's just that it really hurts that he seems to care about her more than he does about me. I don't think I can love someone who would rather be with Terra."
"I don't doubt that he cares deeply about Terra. Maybe he even loves her. But I know he feels strongly about you too."
"He has a strange way of showing it. He couldn't care less that I was in the room with him. He just wanted me out."
Robin placed his hand on Raven's shoulder and gently squeezed. "He'll come around, don't worry."
"I don't even care anymore. I'm sick of playing number two to Terra. All she ever did was hurt him, but he'd still rather be with her." Raven took a few deep breaths and then looked up at Robin. "I'm sorry the way I acted earlier when you wanted to know if I was okay. I was just so furious with Beast Boy and I didn't want to talk about it. I took it out on you and I'm sorry for that."
Robin smiled at her. "Don't worry about it. You were upset." He took his hand off her shoulder and sat back. "So because of your emotions, you weren't as strong as you normally are?"
"Yeah. Because I was so confused, I became weaker. You know my powers are controlled by emotions. With so many feelings going through my mind I had a difficult time concentrating. It was really strange—I just couldn't focus at all. When I thought I saw Trigon, I couldn't even sense that someone else was there."
"I think I understand what you're talking about. Remember when we were stranded on that alien planet? While we were still on the space station, Cyborg had joked around about Starfire being my girlfriend and I shouted at him that she wasn't. Starfire thought that meant I didn't consider her a friend at all. She never told any of you, and neither did I, but she lost her powers for some time afterwards as a result."
"She lost her powers? But I thought Starfire's powers were triggered by an excess of emotions."
"They are," Robin replied. "But not negative ones. She was confused and anxious, like you are now. I guess you two are a bit similar like that, but in slightly different ways. Both of you had trouble controlling your powers after an emotionally straining event and neither of you could properly focus."
"So how'd she regain her powers?"
"We talked about her emotions and straightened things out. I made sure she knew that I cared about her and thought of her as a friend." Robin paused before continuing. "So what happened with you when that woman put herself in your mind on the rooftop?"
"I was stronger and was able to sense her sooner than I did before. I even talked to her."
"You did? What did she say?"
"It was only briefly. She said I might be strong, but that I couldn't protect you or the others."
"That makes finding her all the more important," Robin said.
"She also said her name was Phobia."
"Phobia," he replied, repeating Raven. "So why were you stronger than the first time? What made this time different?"
"It was because of what I saw. I realized how I really felt and what it was that I truly wanted."
"What?"
Raven kept her head down, but looked up, meeting Robin's eyes. The small amount of light still trickling in illuminated her features, making her look more beautiful than ever. "You, Robin."
Robin cleared his throat. "Me?"
Raven nodded, her hair swaying gently. "In the illusion I saw Starfire. She pressed her body against yours and began kissing you."
Robin sat still. "I don't understand."
"It made me realize that losing you like that is actually one of my greatest fears. I was so confused and angry with Beast Boy that I didn't realize how much I love you."
Robin stood up, taking several steps away from the chairs. He rubbed the back of his neck and then tugged on the collar of his cape and shirt, something he always did when hit by nerves.
"Phobia thought it would devastate me, and it almost did. But it's because I saw you and Starfire together that I became stronger. I'm not confused anymore, Robin. I know exactly how I feel about you now."
Robin turned to see Raven standing in front of her chair, breathing deeply. His own chest was beginning to tighten and his pulse was racing. Robin stumbled to find words. He was taken aback, caught so completely off guard by her.
"Raven, I…" Robin stuttered, unable to find the right words to say. He stared at Raven, who appeared so confident. Light glinted off her leotard, outlining her exquisite and delicate frame. As she came toward him slowly, suddenly finding Phobia was no longer on his mind. He was concerned only with the here and now, absorbed by this moment and the girl moving to him with such beauty and grace.
She reached up and placed one hand on his cheek; it was surprisingly warm and served to slow Robin's pulse, calming him. Robin offered no resistance to her, finding part of him wanted this to happen. Love was a strange state for Robin, so conflicted was he by his feelings for both Titan girls. The last several years of his life had been emotionally challenging beyond a level most would ever have to deal with.
The death of his entire family had left a gaping hole in Robin's heart, one he was reluctant to fill. Bruce had given him something to live for, to fight for, but love was never truly a part of it. Only after forming the Titans did Robin begin to believe someone might capture his heart and open him to an experience he could not have imagined years ago. Though he cared for the two girls in his life upon meeting them, love was something that took time to develop. Gradually Robin came to love both Starfire and Raven, an emotion he had all but abandoned.
He loved each of them in different, even conflicting, ways. Starfire was buoyant, cheerful and bubbly, and Robin genuinely admired her compassion and the unconditional love she showed toward her friends. Raven was her polar opposite. She too loved her friends deeply, but displayed a morose tendency.
Yet Robin was drawn to Raven more readily than he was to Starfire. Perhaps it was the darkness surrounding her, which had been such a large part of his own life in recent years. In a strange way, it was familiar to Robin. Change occurred within him soon after the formation of the Titans, in that he had willingly opened himself to others and developed lasting bonds of friendship. Despite this there was still a lingering darkness in Robin, naturally connecting him strongly to Raven.
Beyond knowing he did not have a family and that he had received training from the legendary Batman, the others knew nothing of his past—with the exception of Raven. Having been in his mind, she was aware of that past and of the great tragedy he had suffered. That bond strengthened their relationship still further.
Smoothly sliding her hand up his face, Raven closed her fingers on the edge of Robin's mask, tenderly removing it and letting it fall to the ground. She gazed into his sparkling icy blue eyes, feeling more peaceful than she had in a long time. Raven ran her hand over Robin's firm chest, feeling it rise and fall with each deep breath, and pressed her body to his.
As Robin placed his hands on her slender waist, Raven leaned upwards, brushing her lips against his gently; she could feel the warmth from each of his breaths on her skin. Her eyes closed and Raven firmly locked her soft, moist lips onto Robin's. She opened her lips, allowing Robin's tongue entrance into her mouth, and ran her own tongue over and under his, following it back into his mouth. Raven slipped her arms up Robin's shoulders, wrapping them around his neck. Standing still as the darkness settled around them, they embraced, holding each other closely.
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Ooh, everything's heating up! I told you it'd be a good chapter. Now be honest, did I fool you guys with the Star/Robin thing? I don't think it was too obviously an illusion. Hopefully I messed with your heads again (it gives me kicks for some reason).
