Hee hee…oh. I apologize. Allow me to introduce myself, please! I'm Cameo Leon, a top general of JAGOW and Dr. Cranken's greatest work! He engineered me twice now. Before I was quite the wild card. I was unpredictable, had a crazy sense of humor, and more importantly, laughed too much. I don't think the laugh was such a big deal, but you know how parents get.
Dr. Cranken is the closest thing I have to a Dad, and I follow him. Not only because he's my father , but because he's alsoa superior officer.
He ordered me to hunt down a traitor to our organization…Bloody Rachel. Bloody Rachel was THOUGHT to have been on our side, but she was found fraternizing with the hostages, AND she escaped, trying to get important information to our newest mortal enemy: Nicholas Michael Grey!
The doctor sent me out to destroy her…and Nick, if I find him. And it looks like I found both! It's my lucky day! Hmm…the kid's out cold…doesn't seem fair to kill him now, but I got my ord-oh wait! Rachel's there! I guess I have no choice now, I suppose that I must act right away!
Kind of a shame though…that Rachel is…a knock out…hee hee…what a hottie! Hee hee hee! Oh no! The doctor said my upgrades altered my mind and body, that any problems I had should be gone! I'm Cameo Leon, Version 2.0! What's wrong with me? Wait…the doctor said that the old traits might come back if I let myself become distracted...it's going to be a mental AND physical battle then. A battle to keep my mind, and to destroy those two!
Here I go then!
"Ohh…my poor body. Take me to the curb, ladies and gents, because I am TRASHED." Nick shook his head dizzily. His jet had eventually made it a large beach on the wild continent.
After Nick had gotten Alastor to help him out, he'd drifted off to sleep for a while, but the rocking had woken him up. So he'd slowly paddled towards shore, where the tide and his small efforts had worked side by side to get him onto a long, sandy beach, littered with sea shells and various plant life.
But he wasn't looking at THAT now. He saw something glint like, well…gold, out of the corner of his eye. He looked up, and saw her.
She had hair that went almost down to her shoulder, and large, totally white eyes with no pupils. She had dainty feet and hands, and a belt for clothing. Actually, that was it. She was totally naked…except she wasn't just naked, she was also a robot made totally of golden machinery. Luckily for Nick's virgin eyes, the designer had NOT made her anatomically correct. You can rest easy, concerned parents, this is a PG-13 flick at the MOST, and it's got no sex. The closest Nick ever got to it anyway was a quickly-aborted second base.
His first words that came out of his mouth were "I don't want to go beyond first base. Until we're married, that stuff will always seem like a violation of your body to me." The woman stopped and stared. "What?" she said, in a lovely, quite sexy voice. Her tone had a slight mechanical ring to it though.
"No sex on the first, second, or third dates, none at all even, till we marry. And I won't touch your breasts, thank you very much. It would feel wrong. It felt wrong with Molly, it'll feel wrong now."
"I…" "By the way…you're a little bit…shorter…in real life than I thought you'd be, Mrs. Lavigne." "I'm sorry, what?"
Nick was clearly dazed and delirious. "Or are you Mrs. Jolie? Or Mrs. Spears? I can't tell in this sunlight…" Yep! Being at sea for half a day, in the hot sun, had made him slightly fracked up. And now seeing this golden girl had made him really lose it.
"No…wait…you're Mrs. Hilton! Want me to sing? I love Paris in the springtime…I love Paris in the fall…I love Paris in the winter (When it drizzles)…I love Paris in the summer (When it sizzles). I love Paris every moment…"
The golden woman looked right into his eyes. "I'm not those women you speak of. My name is Ms. Bloody Rachel." Nick mumbled. "Hmm…you're quite out of it…I know!" She turned around. "No peeking!"
He didn't. She opened up a hatch in her breast, and a root beer can popped out. She closed the hatch, and handed him the root beer. "Chilled. You like it that way?" "Oh yeah. Thanks a ton." He gulped it down eagerly, and the caffeine boosted his brain, giving it a restart of sorts.
He suddenly seemed to be aware of his surroundings, and then stood up. Nick stared right at her, and looked her up and down. "Uh…hi…"
"Hello. You are?" "I'm…uh…" Nick stepped out of the jet, and shook Rachel's offered hand. "Nicholas Michael Grey, but you can call me Nick. I'm the newest friend of Viewtiful Joe and his buddies, and I posses VFX powers. All of them, actually." "Really? Fascinating!" She studied his watch intensely. "Yeah, uh…can you put some clothes on or something?"
She looked right at him and he noticed her facial expression never changed. What could she be thinking?
He soon found out.
"We can't stay here…Cameo Leon is in this region." "What? Who-oh! Cameo Leon, yeah I know about him! Captain Blue told me about him, he was suppose to be really annoying in the video game." "He's a lot tougher now! The doctor upgraded him!" Nick tilted his head a bit. "Say whaaa?" "UPGRADED HIM."
"Ah. I see. But…could you still put on some clothes?" "He made Cameo Leon smarter, faster, stronger…and got rid of his laugh, too." "Wow. That doctor's a whiz at this stuff, huh?" "Yes. Unfortunately for us, he is." "Let's go, then. I'll get 6 Machine up…somehow…" He looked at the jet. It was waterlogged, fizzing a bit, and looked quite wrecked. "I don't suppose you know anything about fixing jets?"
"That's the least of our problems…" Rachel suddenly sound very afraid, and when Nick looked at what she had seen, he was too. There he was…grinning unmistakably…Cameo Leon.
Cameo Leon was a large chameleon, taller than a normal man. He had two arms and two legs, each of which had two clawed fingers…large clawed fingers. His long, pink tongue hung out a bit from his mouth, slightly curled. He was clothed in stealth gear, complete with night-vision goggles and a black vest, which exposed his RIPPED chest. Yikes, the guy looked strong!
His bulging yellow Chameleon eyes looked right at them both, and the JAGOW general chuckled. His tail was curling back and forth in way that seemed...unsettling…to Nick. The gigantic chameleon was pretty happy. However, there was one thing about him that was different…his tone…although it was a little grating, it wasn't nearly as grating as the tone Blue had said Cameo Leon had had in the video game "Viewtiful Joe 2".
He also didn't have the laugh. Though Nick kinda thought the laugh had sounded like an okay shtick. (I THINK that's how you spell it.)
"Hello there…you're Nick, aren't you? Rachel, you've been a naughty girl…" "No, I'm not Nick. I'm just a guy conducting a survey." "What?" "Huh?" Both Rachel and Cameo Leon stared stupidly at a broadly-grinning Nick. "I just wanna ask you a question, Mr. Leon." "Uh…ask away, then." Cameo Leon scratched the side of his head in confusion.
"Is Joe here?" "Joe who?" Nick grinned REALLY big. "Joe MAMA!"
Rachel stood there standing, as Nick started guffawing. Then she started to "Ha-ha-ha" in a very mechanical way. Cameo Leon didn't do anything though…at least, not for a few moments. Then he started laughing his head off. His trademark laugh came back to him with a vengeance, and he laughed long and loud…though not nearly as much as Nick. NOBODY would ever top Nick's laugh.
"HA-HA-HA!" "HEE HEE HEE HEEE!" "WHAA HA HA! HOO HOO! Hoo…"
Eventually the laughing stopped. Nick wiped happy tears from his eyes, Rachel wheezed, her hands on her breasts, and Cameo Leon was stooped over, catching his breath. He had to put his hands on his knees to keep from falling over.
"Hee hee…hee…that was really funny. I-I liked it a lot. You're funny." "Yeah, I can be."
From behind a bush, Alastor scratched his helmet. "What kind of a superhero is he? He acts more like a wisecracking sidekick than a superhero!"
Cameo Leon eventually calmed down. "I still…have to fight you…and kill you both…doctor's orders, hee hee-No! No more…stop it! No more jokes! Got to calm DOWN."
"Gee…what's wrong with laughing?" "Showing emotion weakens you. Laughter, joy, happiness…these are things an elite stealth agent should never show." "I see." Rachel suddenly spoke up. "But the heart people have…the thing that holds their emotions…it's the strongest thing in the world." Cameo Leon laughed…but it was a cruel laugh. "No…I'M the strongest in the world…or at least I'm the strongest on this beach! Prepare to die, my prey."
He took a fighting stance, and then, for effect, licked his eyeball with his long tongue. Rachel groaned in disgust, and Nick stuck out his tongue. "Ewww…but kinda cool. I can't even get my tongue to touch my nose!" Then Nick had another smart idea. "Hey, here's a good one! Two cannibals were eating a picnic, and one says "Boy, I hate my mother-in-law." And the other says "Yeah, me too...try the potato salad." Get it?"
Cameo Leon started laughing all over again, and while he was all curled up and giggling madly, Nick grabbed Rachel's arm and quickly issued the command "RUN!" to her.
They did, taking off in a moment into the jungle beyond the beach, leaving the laughing chameleon behind. Nick huffed and puffed, finding that Rachel was quite heavy…but then she began to run on her own account, and now Nick was trying to keep up with HER. "So where…huff…do we go…huff…from here?"
"I suggest we try to cut through to the village outskirts, where there are people that can aid u-"
Nick shook his head. "No chance in heck, Rachel…hoo! I want to fight him somewhere…huff…were nobody innocent can…huff…get hurt." "A private battle ground?" "Yes!" "Hmm…than I suggest we, well, head for the hills!" "The hills?" "Yes, the ones that lead to the wilder, deeper jungle region. You would do well to avoid that area, by the way, and the places beyond it." "Which way to the hills before the wild jungle then?" "To the west, this way!" Rachel executed a perfect 90-degree turn, and Nick followed right after.
They kept running and running for what seemed to be ages, but they finally made it to an opening in the jungle, which led out to large, roaming hills, covered in lush green grass and beautiful flowers. Some of the flowers were a lovely sky blue, and some where a strange…black?"
"How odd…" "Dr. Cranken has been experimenting with the flora and fauna of this continent. Many creations of his exist in the jungle…creations that have bred with other natural horrors." "What natural horrors? I don't know diddly about this place, Rachel. Mind filling me in now?" Nick furrowed his brow in irritation. What was so scary and evil about the damn jungle?
Rachel held out her left hand, and a little display antenna popped out from it…a holographic projector! It displayed a large map of the area, of everything within a 25-mile radius. The beach was to the south, with the little jungle to the north of that, but to the east there were villages and ports, and to the west there was a VERY large jungle, which just kept going, clear off the map. To the far north, a grey area was present. "Nobody knows what's present in that area to the north, Nick. That's why it's grey."
"How long does the jungle stretch?" "36 miles to the west, and you can see that it stretches quite a bit to the north too, though you can't really see it from THIS map. Here, he's a whole view of the jungle." The map changed, and now Nick saw just how big the jungle really was. "It's 36 miles across, 30 miles up and down." "66 miles of jungle? Yikes, that's pretty big." "And filled to the brim with dangerous animals!"
"Do I count as one of those dangerous animals?" Nick and Rachel whirled around, and saw a hissing Cameo Leon, who had finally caught up to them. "Nice joke, kid…but now you're finished!"
Nick thrust out his right hand and held the v-watch up for Cameo Leon to see. "Okay then…I suppose we'll fight right here and right now! The décor's pretty nice here though…a pity."
Nick twirled around, saying "TIME TO ROCK!" and punched the air with his right hand once again making the "rock on" symbol, yelling out "HENSHIN!" as he jumped. The miraculous transformation took place once again, and Nick whirled himself around once more, striking a wonderful battle pose.
"Let's cut out the funny stuff, Cameo Leon, and get down to business. Rachel…stay back." Rachel took a step back, but then shook her head, and stood up tall. "I can take care of myself, thank you." She said, in a stiffer-than-usual tone.
Nick made a fist in front of her, and then stuck out both pink and thumb, making the appropriate gesture of coolness. "Sweet. Let's go, then! Tag team!"
"Do you not need four fighters for Tag Team?" "No problem, traitor. Observe! Computer!" Cameo Leon spoke into a com-link attached to his slightly bulky night-vision goggles, which apparently doubled as a portable computer. "Activate "Double Cameo" program, immediately!"
The goggles "pinged", and suddenly Cameo Leon stretched out WIDE. Then, in a flash of purple-black light, he…SPLIT into two Cameo Leons!
"What the?" "Now then…let's go!…right after I start up my theme song." He pressed a button on the side of his goggle-computer, and music began to play.
BGM: Cyber Phantom (Cyber Phantom Cameo Leon's Theme)
Both JAGOW generals jumped at the both of the viewtiful heroes, and the fight began!
Rachel was able to dodge the second Cameo Leon's attacks for quite a while, ducking and dodging to the side every time the creepy chameleon clone took a swing at her. However, he soon got the better of her, and one good kick knocked her onto the ground. She barely rolled out of the way to avoid a nasty stomp from his feet, and she retaliated by using her morphing powers to turn her hand into a hammer.
KA-THWONG! The clone went flying through the air.
Meanwhile, Nick danced around, using MACH SPEED to avoid the original Cameo Leon's attacks. He was enjoying himself a little too much, in fact.
"Can't touch this! Hmm-hmm-hmm. Ooh, ooh…can't touch this! Hmm-hmm-hmm. Ooh, ooh…can't touch this! Hmm-hmm-hmm…my, my, my-can't touch this!"
He kept leaping around, and twirling out of the chameleon's reach, singing "Can't touch this" all the while. "Hold still you, fu-" Cameo Leon didn't have enough time to swear, because Rachel suddenly kicked his butt hard with a morphed foot…
Which had been changed into a large, spiked boot. Ouch! Cameo Leon went prancing around the hills, grabbing his butt going "My ass! My ASS!" while Nick roared his head off. Cameo Leon suddenly got nasty, whipping his tongue out at Nick and striking him across the face. Nick screamed, and fell to the ground with a THWACK.
"That stung like hell!" was all Nick said. He got up quickly, rubbing his sore face. Rachel was having some problems too, the clone had come back with a vengeance! It was whipping it's tongue at her over and over, and she had to keep jumping around to avoid it. "Dance, girl, dance! I want to see you dance before you DIE!" Suddenly it twirled around, striking her with it's whirling tounge. She took it to the face, and it hit her with incredible force, so much in fact, that she went flying a good fifteen feet or so across the hills before she landed in a flower patch.
Nick used SLOW to dodge a tongue whack from Cameo Leon, and this time grabbed the tongue. "You're gonna get it now, jerk-face!" Nick spat out. He ran over to the clone using MACH SPEED, and wrapped the tongue completely around the clone. Then he stretched the clone farther and farther away from the whimpering Cameo Leon, who's tongue hurt like a real bastard now.
Cameo Leon managed to fight through the pain though, and was about to struggle, or run at Nick, or SOMETHING, but Rachel suddenly grabbed his arms, holding them behind his head. "NOW, NICK!" she yelled out. Nick nodded, and the stretching ended. He let go…
And it was the rubber band effect. You stretch something far back, and let it go, it comes back HARD. And come back hard it did! The tongue-wrapped clone came hurtling toward Cameo Leon at a sharp speed, and Rachel barely ducked out of the way in time, but duck she did, and Cameo Leon got the full front of the blow. The clone SLAMMED into him, and that knocked him right down onto the ground.
The clone and he were now entangled in tongue. The clone twitched…and then vanished! It had been recalled back into the computer. Cameo Leon staggered up, and looked angrily at Nick. "You think you're clever, huh? Well let's see if you're still as clever once I do THIS!"
Rachel was caught by surprise as Cameo Leon whipped his long tongue around her legs and then whipped it right back at him. He dropped her right into his arms, and she was pressed hard against him. He held his large claws up to her face and looked right at Nick, smiling cruelly. "Surrender…and I won't have to hurt her pretty little face." "That's dishonorable! Attacking a la-okay, she's not exactly a real gentlewoman, but still, using hostages is cheap!" "So is fighting me two-on-one." "I wasn't going to REALLY do it…okay, I was." "Hah! We're not THAT different…we'd both do ANYTHING to achieve our goals!" "Not true! I wouldn't…I wouldn't…I wouldn't take hostages, I know that! And I wouldn't steal-oh wait…I did. That bomb. Well I wouldn't ki-oh…gee…"
(The theme song ends.)
Nick was beginning to really think back on his adventures. He HAD done a lot of stuff to make sure he'd be coming out on top. He'd lied, he'd stolen, he'd killed…he'd used trickery and manipulation to get here, and he'd mocked his enemies. What other sins would he end up committing in the name of saving the world and his family?
"I stole the bomb, manipulated you, wrecked a clock tower, putting lives at risk…I killed a lot of JAGOW members…I beat up my host…oh GOD! I'm gonna go to Judecca for sure!" Cameo Leon blinked. "What?" Rachel filled him in. "Home to those who betrayed their hosts…in the last circle of hell."
"Oh God…I've done so much evil in the name of good…maybe I'm no better than you guys are…"
Cameo Leon was strangely, oddly silent. He didn't say a word…then he suddenly sighed, and shooed Nick away.
"Just go home, kid. Go home and forget about everything you saw here."
Nick nodded glumly, and slowly began to walk off. Rachel stared after him in shock. "Nick? What are you doing? Don't just give up on Movieland, and on your family! You're a hero!" "But…I killed…I was taught you shouldn't kill…and that you shouldn't manipulate people, or lie to them…that you shouldn't steal either."
Rachel tried to think of something rational to say to him, but she simply drew a blank in her CPU. Cameo Leon chuckled. "Now to take care of you…"
Suddenly Rachel remembered how she had seen the light of good…by using the heart, and not her head. Joe had taught her that the heart was a viewtiful thing…so she reached out with that to Nick.
"Nick…I know that you shouldn't kill or steal, or manipulate or lie…but you're fighting a WAR, Nick. It's a war against evil, a war against JAGOW. You're trying to save billions of lives, and sometimes casualties occur. I know that people do a lot of bad things in war, and that war isn't an excuse to kill someone, but you're not killing or stealing because you WANT to. You're doing it not because it makes you feel good, or because you want to see others suffer…you're doing it so that others can live…at least your heart is in the right place, and I'm sure…"
She would have gulped if she had been human. "I'm sure that God would understand."
Nick stopped, thinking about this…
Cameo Leon merely scoffed at this. "It's too late, Rachel. All the pretty words and meaningful advice in the world will not save you." He opened his jaws wide, and wrapped his tongue around her, using every inch of it to squeeze her tight. "Time to die now." He said simply. He began to pull her headfirst into his mouth, and Rachel looked up, into the large maw of Cameo Leon, knowing he would not spare her life. She was finished for sure, about to be swallowed alive by this monster.
Cameo Leon chuckled. He'd won…he was about to consume her, and nobody could stop him.
He didn't see the emerald blur that zoomed toward him at incredible speed…didn't notice the form right underneath him before it was too late, didn't see the arched back fist…
Suddenly a Red-Hot One Hundred punch to the gut stopped Cameo Leon in his tracks, causing him to lose his grip on Rachel, and making him crumble to the ground.
Rachel stood up, wiping tongue drool off her body. Nick held out a hand. "You okay?" "Yes, I…I think so." "Good. Rachel…thank you. What you said…it means a lot to me. Thanks." "You are welcome."
"I hope God does understand…I don't want to kill or hurt anyone while trying to save my family, but I end up doing so anyway…because there doesn't seem to be any choice. Evil won't rest until I'm dead…and I have to defend myself, don't I? I'm not gonna let myself be killed when there's a chance I can save my family." Nick looked up at the sky, holding out a fist towards it. "If someone tries to hurt my family, or if they try to kill me, I'm gonna fight back. Newton's third law, man!"
"A hero's got to do what a hero's got to do." "Yeah, exactly! If there's no other way, then…well…heads will roll! Avoid it when you can, but if you can't…then kick ass! That's what I just gotta keep in mind. Thanks Rachel…now…where should we go?"
"You should…head for the village first…"
"What the?"
Cameo Leon had stood up, and was now brushing dust and dirt and grass off of him. He looked right at Nick. "The village will contain supplies and things that you can use to repair your ship. I'll help you out."
"Wait a tick…you're JAGOW, remember? Bad guy! Tried to EAT Rachel! Why should I trust you?" "What you said about being a hero…what it means…why you fight…it got me thinking too. You say you do bad things in the name of being a hero because you don't see any other way to get it done, that you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs…you're right. But I don't want to be an egg…and I don't want to be a part of JAGOW anymore. Dr. Cranken did a lot of things for me…but it's more like what he did TO me…and I don't like that."
He growled a little. "The doctor altered me…without my consent. I'm a free-thinking individual, and he turned me into a…a sick, evil experiment! I'm just something to test things on in his mind…and I don't like it one damn bit! So come on, let me help you…please." The JAGOW general looked imploringly at Nick. Nick looked him over…
And nodded. He shook Cameo Leon's hand.
"Cameo Leon…welcome to the resistance. Good to have you on the team." Rachel gasped, and Cameo Leon broke into a wide grin. "Th-th…thanks, Nick! You won't regret it!"
Nick nodded. "Come on then…to 6 Machine! We got a lot of work to do!"
Far away, a robotic form in red silently sat upon a laboratory chair. Dr. Cranken sighed. "I had a feeling that my experiment would fail again…good thing you have twice his power…and that you will be the one to destroy all three of them. The two traitors…and that stupid little meddler! Activate now!"
Gleaming yellow eyes beamed out from the robot's grey visor, it's face covered with a sleek white mask that extended all the way across it's face, reaching all the way to the side of it's red helmet. Between it's grey visor and it's white mask, you couldn't see ANY of it's face…
Good thing too…because it didn't have a nice one, either. It flexed it's fingers experimentally, carefully, and then, in a sick, cold-as-ice tone, said…
"They're dead, doctor. Just wait. It won't take me very long to kill them." He might as well have been discussing a TV-show with the tone he used. The doctor simply laughed long and loud…feeling on top of the world.
But where was Alastor, I hear you cry? Well Alastor had been thinking about Nick. He wanted to know more about the hero that JAGOW was facing. How would he discover the kid's weaknesses? He didn't seem to display anything really worth noticing on the field of battle…
Then he got a brainwave. They had the kid's family hostage.
Perfect.
Just….
Perfect.
