Thank you for your feedback so far, I'm happy you're enjoying this as much as I do! :)

And to make it clear, Quinn and Britt are just friends. Britt is too much in love with San, to think about someone else, but maybe jealous Santana will make an appearance. :D

Santana – 5th July 2016

I'm not in a good mood, when I leave my room in the morning. Sam is still asleep. After everything that happened, I think he needs all these hours of sleep.

Spontaneously we decided to sleep at my place. Sam's apartment isn't that far away, but we were drunk and my bed was too tempting.

I wave at Rachel for a second, who sits in our open kitchen and then I walk into the bathroom. I stop when I see Brittany, who has the same shocked expression on her face.

"Sorry, I should have locked the door", she apologizes, meanwhile I scan her half-naked body. When I look back in her face, I see her questioning look, that's why I close the door and turn around.

Rachel laughs her ass off. Her laugh is so loud and high-pitched, even Leo runs away and hides in his scratching post.

"Wow, so grown up, you could have warned me."

"I think it was hilarious", she grins and puts down a cup of coffee for me on the table.

"We're just drinking coffee or why don't you eat something?"

"Quinn will come over soon with breakfast."

"Yey" I cheer sarcastically with my hands in the air.

"She's our friend, don't be such a dick, you're just jealous."

"Jealous? Of what exactly?", I smile because of her statement. I don't know why she says this.

"I should say it out loud? You are jealous of Quinn, because her and Britt are getting along."

"I don't care about Britt."

"Oh really? You don't believe that do you? If you wouldn't care, then why did you look after her the whole night? I saw you multiple times in my room."

"I'm not a monster, of course I make sure she's okay."

She was so shaky and in combination with her dizziness it just felt right to be there for her.

Rachel gives me a look, that says 'I don't believe you'. Everything that counts is that I believe myself. Silently I drink my coffee and after Brittany has left the bathroom, I go in there to get ready.

When I'm back in the kitchen, Quinn is there, talking with Britt and Rachel.

"Hey S, you want some?"

"No thanks, I'm not hungry."

I know it's not Quinn's fault, but I don't need to talk to her in the morning. I rather go back to my room, cuddling with Sam.

10 minutes later my boyfriend wakes up and pulls me closer.

"You showered without me? You smell good", he mumbles against my neck, kisses the spot tenderly.

"Mhh, I thought you'll sleep a little bit longer, you have work today."

"Don't remind me of this. My mother flies to New York today, so we can talk."

"Do you know now, why Ryder knew about your account?"

"Yeah, I have a guess. I found one of these guys on Instagram and there were pictures with Ryder. It's my own fault, I should have been honest with my parents or not using this app."

"Ryder had no right to tell your dad about it and your dad had no right to punch you. It's your life, you are allowed to love who you want to."

His dad pisses me of. Sam didn't choose to like men, it just happened. It's his decision.

"I still don't know why you are so supportive. It's a miracle, that you're still talking to me."

"Back then with Brittany, I hoped that with patience and understanding I will have my happy end. Now I know happy ends don't exist, so I just enjoy the moment and try to help you."

"Happy ends exist, for you too", he disagrees with me, and I start laughing sarcastically.

"It's really cute, but no. I will die someday alone with a golden retriever and Leo by my side."

It's easy to thing about a life without Sam. I never thought that we will be together forever.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but I saw the way you looked at Brittany. Are you really over her?"

"You never forget your first love, Britt was mine."

Although I never said this to her.

"You still have feelings for her."

Sam hovers over me, his hands beside my head, so he doesn't crush me. But our eyes meet. It hurts. He knows me too well.

"You know the answer", I mumble, and he tries to cheer me up with a kiss.

"Why don't you try it again with her?"

"Are you kidding me? I should risk it again, that she'll leaves me? I went through hell; one time is enough."

"You wouldn't go through hell 100 times to reach heaven once?"

"I reach my heaven, with a dog and Leo by my side and probably Rachel, because after a year of marriage she will have enough of her future husband."

There is no place for Brittany in my future plans.

"By the way, we wanted to work on your love life not mine."

"Can we do this, when I know, that my mom won this fight against my dad? Otherwise, I need to look for a new job, first."

"Well, then we work on our love life, I don't care", I lay my arms around his neck with a smile and pull him down to me until our lips meet.

/

"Good luck. You can do that. Text me as soon as you can."

"Thanks, I love you."

"Love you, too", I say goodbye to Sam and close the door. We spent all day in bed, until he needed to go, to meet his mom.

As soon as the door is closed, I hear Rachel's voice from the living room.

"Oh yes, Sam. More, more. Oh my god, yessss!", she copies me.

"You want to say something to me?", I ask with a pissed face.

"You really needed to share your sex life with us, hm?"

"I can't help myself, when Sam does such a good job", I shrug and sit down next to her.

"Oh please, stop lying. You complained so many times, that you don't get an orgasm."

Argh, I need to stop telling Rachel everything, in the end she uses it against me.

"For your information, Britt stays a few days longer, I hope it's okay for you", she changes the subject luckily.

"What do you do, when it's not okay for me?"

"I will hide her in my room so you don't see her", she jokes, but we both know she would do it.

"Why does she stay longer?"

"Because nobody waits for her anywhere and I'm like the only person who talks to her."

Brittany never was a people person. She liked quiet game nights with Rachel and I more than partying in some club. She always came along though when we asked her.

"What's going on between Quinn and her? Is Britt out and proud and they're dating?", I'm still interested in her life.

"Really noisy, aren't you?", she pokes her finger against my nose, "I don't know if she's into men or women or both. She enjoys the time with Quinn, as friends or more."

Of course, she doesn't know if men or women. Even after all these years she's indecisive.

"But I can tell you, almost certainly, that Quinn has not a chance against you, Britt would always choose you."

"Maybe against Quinn, but not against her family or her faith."

Brittany would never risk a fight with her family.

"Britt changed. I know you didn't see a lot of it, but if you would give her a chance, you would see that she's worth it."

"If I let her back in my life, then I die. You know how heartbroken I was, I can't get through it again. She still has this power over me, I can't let that happen."

Rachel takes her phone and starts to type something.

"You will hear something she sent me about two months ago. I promised to keep it a secret, but I think this will change your mind."

I look at her and she starts playing the audio.

"I'm fine, I need to stay in the hospital a few days more…you know R, I never felt that empty. I miss you. And I miss San. I dream about her a lot. I never regret that I walked away until now. Why did I give up the best thing I've ever had? Can you tell me why I am so stupid? She hates me, right? Does she talk about me sometimes? I know, I said, I don't want to talk about Santana, but it concerns me. Yesterday, I cried all night long, because I lost the polaroid picture of her, it just disappeared. The only thing I had from her is gone. I love this picture and the girl who's on it. Do you think she will talk to me ever again? I thought about visiting you in New York at the end of the month. Maybe we could celebrate her birthday together and talk about everything. You think it's a good idea or should I stay away from New York?"

My heart breaks with every word she says. I hate to hear her that sad and fragilely.

"She knows that she made a mistake, and she wants to do better. All she wants from you is a chance", Rachel speaks up for Britt.

I'm sorry for her, Rachel was always in the middle of everything.

"I don't know if I can give her a chance, I just don't know", I put my head in my hands, try to sort out my thoughts.

It's easy to say, but hard to do so.

"I don't expect from you, that you run to her with open arms but maybe you can think about it. I miss our time together, even third wheeling on a movie night because you two make out."

With a grin on my face, I look at Rachel, who smiles at me.

"I need to be at the diner soon, but I think about it."

I don't know if we can have a restart, but I think about it.

/

Brittany – 12th July 2016

Today is my last day. After Rachel forced me to stay another week, I booked a hotel room. Rach offered me her room, but I didn't want to put Santana in an uncomfortable situation, I bet she doesn't want to see my face on the dining table.

I'll check out tomorrow in the morning, and then I go back home. I really don't know where my home is right now. If you're in war for years, you lose the feeling of what it feels like to be at home.

I don't know what I want to do in the future. I thought New York will give me some inspiration, but I feel as lost as I was when I came here.

Rachel and Quinn want to change that today. Both took their days off from everything, so they can show me around and maybe I'll stay here.

I'm not so much against this idea anymore. Independence Day isn't a good example, but I like it here, I think I'll be okay with the noisy traffic.

And Rachel is here.

After all these years we finally see each other again, not just over the phone. And I really like Quinn. Normally it takes quiet a while to get attached to people, like Rachels other friends. But I got along with Quinn right from the start.

And then there is Santana. I know we're not having some kind of friendship or something but seeing her face lights up my day.

It's hard to believe that I still have these butterflies in my stomach when I see her or just think about her. The last butterfly is always for her.

I know she doesn't want to see me, but NY is big enough, we can avoid each other. I'm simply not meeting Rachel in their apartment, problem solved.

"Good morning, sunshine", Rachel greets me with a lovely hug, as we meet in front of the hotel.

"Why are you in such a good mood?", I grumble. Yeah, I'm not in such a good mood.

"The sun is shining, it's warm outside, you are here, why shouldn't I be in a great mood?"

"You freak me out a little bit, but okay", I shake my head, but I have a smile on my face real quick, especially when I see Quinn, giving her a hug, too.

"Where do we go first?"

"We start with breakfast; you need it for the long day" Quinn explains and then both loop their arms around mine and we walk to a café. While we're eating, both of them introduce me to some universities.

If you want to study in New York, you have a lot of possibilities. But I'm not sure if I want to study. School fucked me up enough, without those strict learning lessons I had with Santana I wouldn't have graduated.

Santana is the smartest person I know. She speaks four languages, plays two different instruments and is the master in mental calculation. I don't understand why she's not studying.

Rachel on the other hand understands her more. S wants to do something with music or acting and this takes enough time.

Santana always knew what she wants. I admire her. I was lost…well I'm still lost. My time in the army was a lot, but I ask myself every day, if it was the right decision. Perhaps everything would be different right know if I hadn't left.

Maybe we would be together right now if I wasn't such a coward back then. A part of me still hates me because of my decision.

\\\

We watched university after university. I have about 30 flyers with different things I could study. Quinn and Rachel are exited as hell and want to transfer this to me. They like studying, but I don't see myself there.

Our day is not really successful. My highlights are breakfast, lunch, and every time we stopped for some snacks.

"Alright, we see that you're not into this whole study thing, but we have an ace up our sleeve. If you don't like this, we are out of proposals, and you can do whatever you want, wherever you want."

"Yeah, there are definitely better options than studying for me, but I'm curious about your last idea."

I'm open for any suggestions and who knows, maybe they found something I consider.

On the way to our destination, which is still a secret, we stop by a pastry shop, where we eat a piece of cake. It feels like I gained 10 pounds today, but everything is just so tasty.

I would gain 100 pounds just because of this cake, because I would eat it every day.

"Do you like this place? We buy every kind of pastry here, nowhere it tastes better."

"I wish you showed me this before, I would have ordered hundreds of cupcakes for my ride tomorrow", I reply and take a last bite from this delicious strawberry cake, while I look inside the store.

We decided to sit outside because of the weather, so I can look through the glass, to see what it looks like on the inside.

"You could start working here and reward yourself with cakes after work", Quinn shrugs and both women grin like crazy.

"This is your ace up on your sleeve, right?"

"Possibly", Rachel shows me her poker face, but I'm pretty sure that I'm right.

"And they need help? Without experience and education?"

"We know the owner so it's safe to say, that she needs someone, asap. I know your backing skills; Santana's birthday cake was the best proof. Maybe you learn one thing or another, stay in New York, close to us and make a fresh start."

Rachel is right. I can picture myself in there. I think it would be fun.

"I'm impressed, really. I'm honest, I didn't think you could convince me", I admit that their ideas weren't the best for me.

"It wasn't our idea", Rachel looks behind me with a big smile and I turn around, follow her eyes.

Santana.

"Hey", she mutters, and I reply equally nervous. I never thought that I would see her again.

"It was her idea", Quinn interrupts the silence. Santana and I share a silent eye contact, as Rachel takes a seat from another table and offers it to Santana. Now she breaks the eye contact to sit down next to her roomie.

"They asked for advice, and it looks like my guess wasn't that bad."

"We go inside, paying", I hear the brunettes voice and she leaves the table, together with Quinn.

My attention, however, lies entirely on the woman facing me.

"You really want me to stay?"

If she says no, then I'm confused.

"I don't want you to leave. You were the most important person in my life and four years are a long time. We should start talking, getting to know each other again."

"Why did you change your mind? Don't get me wrong, I could hug the whole world right now, I just don't get it."

"Because I would regret letting you go again, sooner or later. And let us be honest, Rachel would be unhappy forever because she misses you too much and then she blames me."

"Is this a piece offering?", I stretch my hand out and San raises an eyebrow.

"We never shook each other's hands, come here", she stands up, walks around the table until she can hug me. Well, I hug her.

San is shorter than me and right now she wears sneakers, so her eyes are on a level with my jaw.

I love our height difference. I always had the need to protect her, and she liked it.

"Please don't disappear anymore, okay?"

"I promise", I give her my word. The devil needs to hunt me down and I still wouldn't leave her.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god", Rach repeats herself while running towards us until we welcome her in our embrace.

I haven't felt that happy in a long time. I know Santana and I have a long way to go, but I'll do anything to make this friendship work.

\\\

"Home sweet home", Rachel announces, carrying my travel bag right into her room, meanwhile I greet Leo extensively. I'm more a dog person but he's my exception.

It's nearly midnight. We dropped Santana off at the Diner and Quinn at her home. And after I checked out, we're finally here.

Rachel didn't accept my "No" when she asked me if I want to live in her room until I have my own apartment. We argued but in the end we agreed that I'll sleep on the couch in the living room.

I'll start looking for apartments tomorrow because I can't live on this couch forever. I don't want to mess up things with Santana, living together isn't a good option.

After Leo gets his portion of cuddles, I walk into the living room, where Rach makes my bed.

"Let it go, I can do that", I reach for the blanket in her hand, but she pulls away early enough.

"You are our guest, so sit down, I do it", she continues her work, while I sit down.

"It was a lot today, wasn't it?", Rachel starts the conversation.

"You can say it like that, yes. I can't believe that it really happened. How could you change her mind?"

I bet my ass off, that Rachel convinced her.

"A little push was enough to let her think about it."

"You're sure it wasn't a kick in her ass?"

I can't imagine that San changed her mind so easily.

"Pretty sure. San needs you as much as you need her, and I need you both."

"I need you, too, R."

Leaving Rachel behind wasn't an easy decision. She kept me sane.

Now I'm looking forward to starting a new life, here in New York with my favorite people.