Brittany - 23rd November 2016
When I open my eyes, I stare right into brown ones. However, they don't belong to Santana, but her cat. So, he wants to give me a heart attack. He sits on the nightstand and looks at me.
"You are creepy, Leo", I grumble, and he tilts his head. It looks like he makes fun of me.
"Should I sit on the floor and watch you sleeping the next time?"
"Do you really talk to the cat, babe?", I hear my girlfriends voice behind me, and she presses a kiss against my neck.
"I think he is obsessed", I mumble, look at him. I don't like cats, but I tolerate Leo, he's kind of cute.
"He is adorable", she contradicts me.
"Why a cat and not a dog?"
Santana loves animals but she always wanted a dog.
"Easy care and it would have broken our hearts in the animal shelter if we left him there. I mean, look at him", she smiles and on point he jumps off the table, over my body until he's next to his owner.
"You are a good boy", she runs her fingers through his fur, while he chills on her stomach. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen.
"How did he get in?", I look at the locked door. I'm pretty sure Leo can't open doors on his own…he's obsessed so maybe he can.
"Rachel, I think. He sits in front of our doors a lot."
"Creep", I repeat as Santana picks him up and holds him in front of me.
"No, look, he is so cute."
I stretch out my hand and he strokes it with his paw.
"Still creepy, just like you", I kiss her forehead quickly, so she doesn't give me a mad look.
"He likes you."
"I like him, too. What time are your parents coming?"
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Santana and her parents take turns visiting each other. Last year San was in Lima, so her mom and dad will be here in New York. Rachel flies home today, so she won't be here.
I will spend the day alone. I don't want to fly home and S deserves alone time with her parents.
"They land at 8 pm. You really don't need to drive; I know your day is busy."
Santana would never ask me, so I offered it. She is so independent, even if it's just a little favor.
"I like to drive; you don't need to pay for a cab, and I can see your parents again."
I haven't seen them in years. When I was home in summer, they were on vacation and ever since I'm in New York.
"Thank you. I make breakfast now. So just stay here, cuddle with your new best friend", she places Leo between us and stands up.
"I call you creep from now on, I hope it's okay."
/
Punctually we arrive at the airport, because of my awesome driving skills. It was a tough call, because I had to work late and Santana's trip to the supermarket took more time than she thought.
"Do you like to wait here, it's loud inside?"
Since Independence Day Santana is worried about me. We still haven't talked about what happened in war, but she asks sometimes.
"No, it's okay, I can do it."
I can only fight my demons if I face them. Over and over again, until I'm not afraid anymore.
I lock the car and we start walking into the airport. Immediately I'm overcome with panic. It's loud and full of people. Of course, 10 million people need to fly home tonight.
"Could you take my hand? Please?"
Without a word, Santana takes my hand and I start to calm down. I don't care, if everyone watches us, her touch helps me. We wait in front of the gate and my glance wanders between our intertwined hands and her eyes.
The biggest catastrophe could happen right now. As long, as I can look in her eyes or we touch, I'm not scared.
I just let her go when I see her dad. Felipe is six foot seven, he is the giant in the family. Dana is the same height as Santana, about 5 foot 3. It's a hilarious picture if you see her parents next to each other.
As soon as I drop her hand, I feel empty. Santana doesn't look that happy either.
"I see your parents, you can't greet them otherwise", I explain, and she follows my eyes. Her face lights up and as soon as people are out of the way, she starts running towards them, gives them a tightly hug.
Felipe is the first one to escape the embrace and walks to me. He greets me with a welcoming hug.
"Brittany, it's awesome to see a familiar face here in New York."
I feel loved in his arms. Her parents always were like a second family to me.
"Likewise,", I grin happily. I really missed his hugs.
"Dad, let her live!"
"Come on, not everyone is as short and fragile as you", he hugs me again and then he lets me go, so I can hug Dana before she eyes me.
"I like your hair, dear."
It's a wonder that she recognizes me with the shoulder-length hair. In the past my hair was longer than her daughters.
"And I have the feeling you get younger every time I see you", I give the compliment back and with a big grin she hugs me again.
Together we walk to the baggage conveyor. Santana and I were ready to fight because we wanted to take the suitcases, but her parents were against it. Of course, Santana has inherited this property.
In the end we win the fight and take the suitcases outside.
"Mary Jane is still alive", Felipe grins excited, as we put the suitcases in the trunk. We worked together on the car a lot in the past. Without Felipe, Mary Jane wouldn't be here right now.
"And she purrs just like back in the days."
"Don't you dare, Felipe. We are on vacation and on vacation you relax and don't fix cars."
"It's her fault", the Latino mumbles and with a chuckle I close the trunk and we get ready in the car. While I drive, Santana starts a conversation with her parents until we reach the apartment.
I help taking out the suitcases and then Dana hugs me.
"When do you arrive tomorrow?"
"Hm?"
"Well you celebrate with us, don't you?"
Confused I look at my girlfriend, as Felipe wraps his arm around my shoulder.
"Thanksgiving is a national holiday for families, so you need to be here, otherwise you disappoint your family", he points at himself and then his wife and daughter.
I was like a second daughter to them. When I had a fight with my dad, I moved in for two weeks. They were sad when I moved out again.
"You can't say no", Dana supports her husband.
"If you insist, can't have my family be disappointed, can I?", I chuckle and both of them pull me in another hug.
I missed them!
"You can go upstairs, I'll be there in a few seconds", Santana hands her mom the keys and her dad carries the suitcases.
"See you tomorrow, sunshine", Dana waves at me and then we are alone.
"Is it really okay, that I'll be there tomorrow? I understand if you want some alone time with your parents."
"What? Of course it's okay, I'm totally excited. I didn't ask because you already said that you like to spend the day alone."
"Your parents would be very sad", I joke.
"I can't say this tomorrow when my parents are around, but I'm most thankful for you."
Could I love this woman more?
"I'm most thankful for you too, I'll always be", I reply and bend down for a quick kiss.
"I love you, sleep well."
"Love you too, drive carefully", she squeezes my hand, before I get in the car and drive home.
/
I changed my outfit for the fifth time now. I don't know why I put myself under pressure. I just want to make a good impression on my maybe future parents in-law, although they love me anyway.
In the end I decide for a blue-white striped blouse and a dark jeans. My hair is straight, but I wear a little more make-up. Normally I'm team natural, but today is Thanksgiving so I can do a little more.
11 am I go upstairs, on the last stairs I can already see Santana, waiting for me in the doorframe. One look at her and I'm turned on, this woman is a dream.
Santana can wear anything, but red is definitely her color. She wears a red, floor-length, strapless dress with lace around the chest area. Especially the red lipstick catches my eyes.
"Wow", I breath out and on point I see my smile.
"Wow yourself", she replies, when I'm in front of her. After I made sure, that we are alone, I give her a sweet kiss. Our lip barely even graze because I don't know how much her lipstick can take.
In the kitchen I put the cake down, I baked this morning, so I'm not empty handed.
"You baked? Best Thanksgiving since the last one, you spent with us", Felipe greets me with a kiss on my head and then he continues his work. He is not that helpful in the kitchen, so he cuts the vegetables, easy work.
"You couldn't have told her that in private? I'm disappointed, I thought you like my food", Dana starts pouting, while hugging me.
"I love your food, Dana, your cooking skills are the best."
"Same mom, dad is just jealous because he is so untalented", Santana takes her mom's side.
"You are all against me now? I'm trying to cut the vegetables really lovely."
We women start laughing, while Felipe shakes his head with a big smile on his face. Immediately the mood is relaxed. I think this is going to be the best Thanksgiving in years.
/
Santana – 24th November 2016
"You're in a really good mood today."
Mom and Britt are in the kitchen, preparing desert, while my dad and I sit at the table.
"I'm happy to have you here", I lay my head on his shoulder and he puts his arm around me.
"We are happy, too, mija. ¿Cómo va todo entre tú y Brittany? Te ves feliz." (How's it going between you and Brittany? You look happy.)
Caught I look at my father's face, who starts to chuckle.
"You didn't really think you were inconspicuous, did you? We already thought it back then and we were right y ahora estamos bastante seguros, también." (and now we are pretty sure, too.)
It was shortly after I moved to New York. I felt alone, not even Rachel could help me. So I called my parents and told them everything. They sensed that it was more than friendship, but they accepted my silence and never asked me until I told them myself. I'm lucky to have them.
"What gave us away?"
"The way you act with each other."
"Is it so different the way I act with Rachel?"
Strangers already thought that we are a couple.
"¡Por supuesto! Tú la miras, como yo miro a mama." (Of course! You look at her, like I look at mom.)
I admire my parents and their relationship.
"And let's not forget your accidentally touches."
I knew it was noticeable. I just can't keep my hands to myself, whenever she's around.
"Britt is not ready to tell anyone, so please don't make her feel embarrassed."
I promised her, we do it her way.
"I'm not saying anything, don't worry. I'm happy for you, your mom too."
"I love you, papí."
"Yo también, mija." (love you, too, daughter.)
As soon as our conversation is over, Brittany and my mom are back, with cake, snacks and the famous family champagne. It's not ours, but we drink him for generations now, every time on Thanksgiving. My first sip I had at the age of 5, when my mama accidentally swapped the glasses. Kids only get drinks with no alcohol. She realized it immediately, but the damage was already done, because I took a sip. It tasted awful, so I spit it back in the glass.
After Britt put down the last plate, she goes back to her seat, of course not, without touching my arm for a few seconds. I see the lopsided grin from my dad like 'I told you so.'
It's a casual conversation going on, my parents constantly praise Britt because of the cake, and they are looking forward to the next time, so she can bake something again.
"May I ask, why you are here? Your father told me you signed up for 10 years", my dad changes the topic.
Of course he needs to ask it, now when everyone has a good time. Sometimes he is just insensitive.
"Dad!", I hiss at him.
"It's alright, S. I mean at some point people want to know", she looks at me and then at my dad.
"At the beginning of the year, we were in the Middle East. There the situation is tense, and one actually moves continuously in a danger zone", she starts talking and I see in her eyes, that the memory hurts her.
"My squad and I should evacuate a school. There were evidence, that a bombing would be happening, because a daughter from an ISIS member is there and he wanted to quit. The leader al- Baghadi is famous for his ruthless behavior, so we didn't want to take any risk and went inside."
She takes another break, looks helpless at me. I want to help her; I just don't know how.
"We were three people; each one took another floor. Three others stood in front of the school, the rest around it, waiting for the teachers and children to get them safe. I took the top floor, around 50 pupils and two teachers. With my hands and my weapon, I tried to explain, that we need to go."
It breaks my heart hearing this story because I know there isn't any happy end.
"It was loud, and everyone started talking. Through a window at the staircase, I could see that the other ones were already outside. I put some pressure on everyone to hurry up. As soon as we were outside, the first squad drove away with some kids. Many weren't left but then a hail of bullets started, and grenades exploded."
It's the first time I hear this story, and I could cry. The last few days she slept here, having nightmares. She said everything is fine, but I know her. Nothing was fine. So I wrapped my arms around her until she fell asleep again.
"I woke up days later in the infirmary. I was informed, that the people from my floor died, two soldiers from my squad, too. They told me, I had a guardian angel, because one of the bullets missed my heart just by inches, despite armor."
Everyone on the table is silent.
"The physical damage healed, except some scars, but the psychical damage stayed. After a few months with different tests and examinations I got diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. Ever since many people or certain sounds are triggers and can cause panic attacks at any time."
Independence Day, yesterday at the airport. I know her problems, but not the cause.
"You didn't do yourself a favor with New York, right?", my dad asks, what I think. NY is loud and full of people.
"Santana is here", she surprises me with her words.
"And Rachel of course", I add quickly.
My parents know about us, but Britt doesn't know this.
"I made a stupid mistake back then and maybe this attack was some sort of karma, but I try to fix things", she looks at my parents, "I love Santana and we are a couple and I promise you; I'm not going to hurt her anymore. She is the best thing, that ever happened to me."
Her confession…well her outing in front of my parents let me have a shocked expression on my face, mouth wide open. Is she aware of this?
"Come here, sweetie", is my mom the first to say something as she pulls Britt in her arms. Both have tears in their eyes and so I stop fighting my tears.
Dad, who sits next to me, puts his arm around me and I start to sob.
"Why do women need to do everything together? Going to the toilet together, crying together? I'm a little bit jealous, men don't do it", my father achieves the desired effect, because we start giggling.
"Can I laugh with you?", he asks, and the mood shifts from depressed to relaxed.
When I glance from my mom to Britt, I realize, what my blonde said a few seconds ago.
"You are family Britt, and we see that you make our daughter happy. So we can all be lucky to have each other."
Brittany and I lock eyes without saying anything. We don't need more right now. I don't know what to say anyways.
"After we all went emotional, I think it's time for the champagne and everyone tells us, what they are thankful for", my dad opens the bottle and fills our glasses.
"I start, I think you still need to sort everything out", he grins and starts talking. My dad isn't a man of many words, he keeps his speech short. My mother is the opposite, she says something about every family member and five other things she's thankful for. It's always the same, today my dad interrupts her, too, says that she needs to end her speech, otherwise we sit her till next year.
After she finished her last sentence, everyone looks at Brittany. She takes a few moments, clears her throat, and starts speaking.
"There are many things I'm thankful for this year, I don't know how to sum it up", she begins like my mom, "I'm just going to say, what I'm most thankful for and this is you, Santana", she looks at me and I'm 100% sure I have her smile on my face right now.
"I don't know how I deserve you, but for some reason you want me in your life. I love you and you are the biggest treasure in my life. I don't know how I could live without you for so many years, because now I already miss you when one of us leaves for work. I'm thankful for your friendship and for your love and I won't take anything for granted, because I have seen how fast life can end."
My heart beats so loud, I think Britt can hear it. This time I hold back my tears because I need to speak, too.
"Like every year, I'm thankful for my family. I'm not telling you why, because I don't want to be like mom, you already know why I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful for my friends, especially Rachel. I know she isn't here right now, but I bet she feels it, or she has cameras hidden everywhere", I joke. Without Rachel I would have gone crazy long time ago.
"I never thought I would say this in front of my parents, at least not today, but I'm thankful for you, Britt. You are my one and only, my everything and I'm thankful that you're here with me. I love you, probably always did and always will."
Over the table, Britt reaches for my hand, intertwines our fingers and looks lovingly at me. We take our glasses and toast, our hands not losing each other at any second.
/
Around 11 pm the typical family program is over. My mother yawns for the 3rd time now in the last minute and my dad looks tired, too.
"Would you go to bed, please, we can clean up. You are my guests, so relax", I take the plates from their hands.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes dad, just go to sleep."
They finally go to bed, but not without hugging Britt and me tightly.
As soon as we are alone, we clean up in absolute silence. We both grin like crazy, so it's the good kind of it.
"You outed yourself in front of my parents", I wrap my arms around her from behind, so she stops washing the dishes.
"I know, my heart went crazy."
"Why did you do it? I mean, I'm happy, but I didn't push you, did I?"
I don't want her to feel pressured.
She takes my hands from her stomach and turns around in my arms, so we can look at each other.
"I told you, I just need some time from you. And if I can be honest with someone, it's your parents. I think your mom suspected something; she made these allusions when we were in the kitchen."
"My dad said the figured it out, because of the way we look at each other and act. Not to forget our secret touches."
"I couldn't keep my hands to myself, but yes, for people who know us, I think we are obvious."
"And how do you feel about it?"
"Your parents are the most understanding people on this planet, so I didn't have any doubt that they are against our relationship. I feel free now that they know. But I know, maybe I should have talked to you before."
"Never", I shake my head, "This is alone your decision. If you feel like it, just do it."
Her grin gets bigger, so I raise my eyebrows questioningly.
"What?"
"You are perfect and for some unknown reason you love me."
"You are a dork", I wrap my arms around her neck, get on my tiptoes so we are closer to each other, "I love you, because you are everything, I ever looked for in a person."
"This is disgustingly cute", she sticks out her tongue, "Luckily I love disgustingly cute."
