Chapter 1
One of the random ideas that I have.
I dunno why but this just pop into my head when I was about to sleep last night lol.
While I do know my luck sucks, I do not expect it to be like this.
I was shoved by Grail-kun into a rocket and right after we left earth's atmosphere, I saw one thing that bothered me a lot.
"LANCER IS DEAD!"
Yes, Lancer dies again. This time he fell from the rocket to Grail-kun's sudden interruption by stabbing him in the head with a kitchen knife and pushing him off of the rocket.
...
Oh well, not my problem. I have my own concerns to worry about.
After a few hours of flying in space, only Grail-kun knows where I'm going with this and possibly Gods if they still exist. The rocket finally lands on a field. I opened up the rocket's door and stepped out of it only to hear—
"EXPLO—"
"MEGUMIN! WAIT! STOP! TIME OUT!"
"—SION!"
"Eh?"
With that, my vision was all white.
But then I opened my eyes immediately and found myself sitting on a chair facing a girl with silver hair. She has beautiful purple eyes and a scar almost hidden by makeup if they do not pay attention to her closely. She wore a white and purple one-piece dress with yellow trimmings and purple coif on her head.
She tilted her head to the side with a hand on her cheek and I copied her.
"Umm…where am I if I may ask?"
"Eh…who are you and why are you able to come here?"
We asked the question simultaneously, prompting the two of us to pause and look at each other before the girl in front of me giggled at me.
To be honest, she looks really cute, like Sakura.
"If I may go first, my name is Eris, the Goddess of Fortune that watches over this world. As for the answer to your question, you being here means that you died…"
"Eh?"
"What was the last thing that you remember?"
"Huh… I stepped out of the rocket and heard a girl and a boy yelling something…like an Explosion?..."
"Hmm…" the Goddess put a hand on her chin as she observed me. "By the way, you mentioned rocket…that means you didn't die before coming to this world, right?"
"Nope. Grail-kun just put me in the rocket and sent me to this world…wait, this world? Does it mean this is not the Earth?"
"No, this is not the earth, and the explosion that you heard before you got hit by it was a magic cast by one of the Crimson Demon clan."
"Huh…so, what do I do now?" I asked as I scratched my hair. I didn't think that I'll die with a single explosion when the servants' attacks couldn't even kill me although I almost died several times.
"You know, you haven't introduced yourself, right?"
I blinked at her question.
"Oh right, right. I'm Emiya Shirou. Sorry about that, Eris-sama."
The Goddess nods at me while smiling beautifully.
"While I want to offer you a reincarnation, I think there would be no need for that since my senior has started to resurrect you."
"What?! Does that mean there are Gods down there?!"
I shot up from the chair I was sitting on. Man, imagine what Caster and Rider would do if they come into this world.
"No, no. It's only Aqua-senpai sent there because she was picked as a blessing for someone."
"How did she get picked as a blessing? I mean, is a Goddess even an option of the blessings to have when we got reincarnated?"
I could see Eris-sama scratching the cheek where her scar was as she averted her gaze.
"Well… she agreed on the request before realizing what was told to her…"
…
"Wow, she must be the biggest idiot I've ever heard…"
Eris-sama could only nod at me with a bit exasperated sigh coming out from her lips.
"By the way, can I get a blessing too since I came from a different world? Although I died here not back there…"
"Unfortunately…I can't do that because it's not my jurisdiction…I'm sorry…"
I waved my hands at her frantically to ease the Goddess whose head was looking down guiltily.
"No, no, it's okay, I was just curious about it."
Then the Goddess looked up at me.
"Although I might not be able to give you blessings to choose, I can give you my own which fortunately I'm the Goddess of Luck!"
My eyes went wide when I heard that and I quickly grabbed the Goddess' hands without thinking further.
"Yes, pretty please! I really need that Luck boost since my luck is really awful!"
"Oh…um…okay…"
She flustered as her eyes met mine. Her cheeks slowly turned red at the close proximity we had. Then as I released her hands which she pouted a bit at, she handed me a necklace with a purple square thingy hanging on it before she kissed it.
"While my worshippers also have this necklace, this one is special and will bless you with my luck…it can be considered as a divine relict and only works for you, Shirou-san…"
"Oooohh!" I quickly wore it around my neck. "Thank you Eris-sama! I won't ever forget what you do to me—no, I'll join the Eris religion as soon as I got revived by your senior!"
The Goddess giggled at me.
'C-cu-cute!'
"I also gave you another common blessing to allow you to write, read, and speak the language in this world, so you don't need to worry about that, okay?"
I nodded before Eris-sama continued.
"If I may suggest, Shirou-san, as my senior and the reincarnator had only arrived in that world for several weeks and just started adventuring yesterday, you should join and help them defeat the Demon King."
"I understand Eris-sama!...wait…Demon King?"
"Yes, the world had been terrorized by the Demon King and his army. Currently, the country you preside at is engaged with them… Oh, and please call me Eris, and I'll call you Shirou."
"Umu, I'll do my best then, Eris!—Whoa! I'm floating!"
I flailed my limbs to stop it, but it was useless.
"Don't worry. That means you're resurrected already."
Eris smiled at me as she waved her hand.
"I'll see you very soon, Shirou!"
"Okay!—wait? Soon? Does it mean I'll die again!?"
Eris didn't answer me and kept smiling before I finally left the realm.
"He's…interesting…this is the first time I met a human to fascinate me so…"
The young Goddess didn't realize it, but as she returned to her seat to prepare for what was coming, her cheeks and ears turned bright red as she remembered how close the auburn-haired young man was to her face.
"Shirou…"
I opened my eyes and saw a boy and a girl around my age staring worriedly at me.
"You're awake! Thank god, not to you by the way you useless toad food Goddess!"
"K-K-Kazuma! Don't remind me of that!"
I sat up and look at the two, first the boy who's definitely the reincarnator, and then at the blue-haired woman whom he called Goddess.
"I thank you for saving me, Goddess Aqua."
"Y-Y-You know about me!? Kazuma, Kazuma! Someone finally recognized me as a Goddess!"
"Yes, I'm Kazuma. While I want to say that I'm happy for you which I'm actually not, I want to ask you a question…ummm…"
"Emiya Shirou, just call me Shirou to make it easier."
"Gotcha, name's Satou Kazuma, you can call me Kazuma since you already know from this idiot Goddess."
"HEY!"
"SHUT IT!" Kazuma yelled at Aqua before turning back at me. "That thing you came out from before our loli in-trial used her magic on, it was a rocket, right?"
"Yeah, but I doubt it survived that giant explosion…"
"No shit, there was nothing left of it." The brown-haired boy laugh. "Anyway, how did you come here?"
"You won't believe me if I told you."
"Try me."
"We were in the middle of the Holy Grail War and I won it by the way, but Grail-kun just shoved me into the rocket and launched it to this other world."
"…You're kidding…"
"See?"
As Kazuma tried to process what I told him, the Goddess Aqua got close to me.
"Hey, hey! Shirou right!?" I nod at her question. "How do you know that I'm a Goddess? Does my Godly aura tell you that?"
"Uh… no, Eris told me about it."
"Tch!"
… do they hate each other or what?
"And also, I can feel divinity radiating from you, and besides that, I doubt there are any other people who can use resurrection since it's the privilege of Gods."
"Umu! I see that you understand my greatness! See Kazuma!? Shirou here knows about my capabilities without me telling him! You should praise me more, you know!"
"Keep talking like that and I'll use you as bait for our next toad quest!"
"No, please! Not that!"
The Goddess cried shamelessly as she clung to Kazuma.
Are…all gods and goddesses like this?
"….Um….sorry for disturbing you three…"
We turned at the voice in the direction where a giant toad was swallowing a girl with only her head left in its mouth.
"W-W-W-Wah! MEGUMIN!"
Kazuma stood up hastily and look for something that he could use to save the half-eaten girl.
"Trace On!"
A projected Caliburn came into my hand before I jumped at the giant toad which was jumping away and sliced it into two which was a big mistake!
Now Caliburn is covered with slime and I erase it before the gooey touches me.
"AAAaAAAAAAaahhhh!"
I look up and saw a girl falling down after she escapes from the toad's mouth. I rushed to where she would fall and caught her in a princess carry.
"You all right there?"
"Y-Y-Yes…"
Now that I see her clearly, she wore a red one-piece dress with yellow linings, and a cape, and her eyes have the color of crimson red.
"Uh…Um…please don't look at me too long."
"Whoops, sorry."
I tried to put the girl on the ground, but she interrupted me.
"Um…can you carry me on your back instead? I can't move after I cast that Explosion magic that hit you before… I'm sorry about that…"
So…she's the one who killed me huh…
I mused as I tried to piggyback the girl.
"Got it, miss…Megumin was it?"
"Yes, and you are?"
"Emiya Shirou, just call me Shirou."
I could feel her nodding when we walked toward the dumbstruck Goddess and Kazuma.
"Y-Y-You can use magic?!" the latter asked anxiously. "But you just arrived in this world!? Did you choose magic as your blessing!?"
"No, I can use it even before I come here, and it's not magic but magecraft."
"Magecraft?" the pair tilted their heads, confused at the term I just said.
"Basically—" I paused before I continue. This is beyond my knowledge, let's just say. "I don't know either since I wasn't taught properly about what magecraft is, but let's just call it magic here."
"Are you shitting me!? I thought you were gonna explain it to us!?"
"Ehe?"
"What do you mean "Ehe"!? ARRRGHH!" the poor kid is now pulling her hair like Tohsaka does if she's stressed.
"Guys…can we hurry and go back to town? I'm slimy here and I smell bad…"
"Fine, fine!" Kazuma sighed as I cringe at them.
Then he led the group while Aqua-sama keeps bothering me to join her church which Megumin called a cult.
-3rd Person POV-
As the four people got back to the city called Axel, Shirou, being the first time in this town looked around at his surroundings, amazed at how different this world compared to his.
"Megumin, from now on, I forbid you to use Explosion unless I order you to." Kazuma pointed at the girl on Shirou's back irritatedly. "Use other magic and save your ex—"
"Impossible." The girl refused flatly.
"What do you mean?" Kazuma asked before Shirou followed.
"Are you saying that you can't use other magic than Explosion?"
Megumin nodded with pride.
"Explosion is my passion! Therefore—"
"I see~! Good luck then! Shirou, you're going to join the Guild right? You seem to be a lot more useful than this loli explosion here, want to join us?"
The redhead deadpanned at his fellow Japanese.
"Dude, you're being mean to this loli here…"
"Stop calling me loli, you two! Besides, Kazuma! Why are you throwing the strongest Arch-Wizard ever existed!? You only need to give me living expenses and you'll have the powerful Crimson Demon in your party!"
"Sorry, but I don't need a magician with bad fuel consumption!"
"There are no parties that will let me join anymore! I'll carry your luggage, or do anything including the slippery play using toad! So please don't leave me behind!"
"Oi, oi! Megumin, you're making me look bad instead of Kazuma here! Remember who's piggybacking you right now!"
"look at that poor girl, he's tormenting her…"
"he had that other girl covered with mucus until she was slippery too…"
"enemy of all women."
"scum."
"Heh." Kazuma grinned before looking at the redhead pitifully. "Good luck…" he said before inhaling. "You lolicon!"
Then the Japanese in green tracksuits turned and made a stance to run before suddenly he felt that he was bound in a spot.
"W-W-Wait! Why can't I move!? What's this!? Do I get a stroke at this young age!?"
Shirou sighed at Kazuma before Aqua opened her mouth.
"I'm sorry Kazuma, looks like my dispel can't help you this time…" Aqua said and reached into his pocket to take a pouch filled with money.
"Shirou! Let's head to the public bath while we left Kazuma hanging here!"
"Good idea, I also need a bath since I might smell bad from carrying Megumin here."
"Sorry…"
"No, no, you don't need to worry about it, alright?"
The redhead assured the Arch-Wizard with a smile as he turned to look at the girl.
"…um…thanks…"
Then the group began to leave Kazuma who was yelling at them but ignored.
-BATHTIME SKIP-
After the relaxing bath, Aqua and Megumin, who was capable to walk on her own now, led the redhead into the guild and had him registered.
"Luna!" Aqua called out to the blonde receptionist.
"Oh, Aqua, is there anything that I can do for you?"
"Yeah! We want to report about the completion of our quest and have Shirou here to register as an adventurer!"
"I understand, then it would be a 1000 eris for the registration, sir…"
"Oh, can you deduct it from our payment from the quest, Luna? He just arrived here and probably doesn't have any money with him right now."
"I-I understand…"
The receptionist stole a glance at the redhead again before she had him fill out a form.
"Shirou Emiya…17 years old…" she stole a look again at the confused redhead.
"Is there something wrong miss Luna?" asked the redhead with a smile.
"O-Oh no, there's nothing wrong about it…ahem…then, please put your hand on this adventurer's card. Your level and status will appear, allowing you to choose a suitable job."
Shirou did so and the results were shocking to his surroundings.
"A-amazing! This is the first time other than Aqua here to have status this high for a beginner! Your intelligence and Luck also surpassed Aqua's making you capable of choosing any job that you want!"
"Is there any job that allows me to learn everything?" the redhead asked.
"Eh? Um, there's adventurer class, but—"
"I'll have that one then."
""EH!?""
"With that class, I can learn any skills without focusing on one skill tree, right?"
Luna nodded at the redhead who was smiling.
"Then, please. Adventurer class."
"Shirou, are you sure about that? You can choose Paladin, or Sword Saint, or Swordmaster, or Arch-Wizard, or Arch-Priestess, and any other than a weak class like Kazuma's you know?"
"I'm definitely sure about this matter, besides, being a jack of all and master of none is more suitable for me."
'What's more, this means I'll be able to use magic like explosion! Tohsaka's going to be jealous if she knows about this!'
The redhead thought inwardly, making a small smirk as Luna reluctantly made Shirou's job as an adventurer. She wanted to pretend that she made a mistake and gave him the strongest job, but that would mean him disliking her at their first encounter, therefore she decided to abandon that thought.
"With that done, I welcome you to the Adventurer's Guild, this time properly as an adventurer, Shirou-san!"
Luna said as bowed a little, giving him a full view of her cleavage.
"Uh… sure, thanks miss Luna!"
The three then left the receptionist's desk when a loud bang came from the Guild's main door.
"Where are those three!?"
The Japanese in a green tracksuit yelled out before his eyes locked on the three people he was looking for.
"Aqua! Shirou! Megumin! How dare you leave me the leader back there!"
"Eh? I thought the leader was Aqua-sama here?" the redhead gawked at the brown-haired boy.
"As if the useless Goddess with only 1 intelligence can be the leader!"
Kazuma berate angrily before the blue-haired Goddess jumped at him.
"WAAAAHH! KazumA! Why are you so mean!? Shirou here praised me highly and now you ruined my reputation!"
"SHUT UP! What's wrong with calling you useless, you idiot Goddess!"
"WAAAAAAaaahH!"
Shiro closed into Megumin who was sitting beside him.
"Is that…how they interact with each other every day?"
"Honestly…I don't know… I just met them today too before we met at the plains this noon…"
"Hm…They're really close huh?"
The redhead smiled at the two.
"That's…what you call close?"
The two watched Kazuma and Aqua pulling each others' hair and cheeks while the latter cried a ton.
"Yup."
After a bit while, the two finally calm down and sat in their seats after ordering their dinner.
"So, Shirou, can I see your adventurer's card?" Kazuma asked and the redhead nodded with no hesitation.
"Damn man…your status is amazing…but why do you choose adventurer as your class!? Great, and here I thought you'd become a Paladin or something like that!"
"Being an adventurer doesn't hinder my magic, so you don't need to worry about that."
Kazuma leaned into the redhead.
"Right, your magic, is there any way for me to learn it?"
"If this is my world, then I would say no, but since this is another world…maybe?"
"Sweet!" Kazuma cheered before he turns to Aqua who was devouring her meal. "Oi Aqua, how do we learn a skill?"
"Um… just have Shirou show you his magic, then you can allocate your skill points to the "Acquirable skill" displayed on your card."
With that said, Shirou begins to show Kazuma his projection which then showed up on his adventurer's card.
"Projection? Is that your skill's name?"
"Yup, but mine's a tier higher than Projection called Tracing…let's say that my origin made it possible for me to acquire Tracing."
"Got it… let's see…Projection, a practice involving the materialization of objects, in accordance with the caster's imagination…wait! What the hell!? Isn't this a super powerful skill!?"
Kazuma looked up at Shirou who was smiling at him.
"Not really, the item you projected is not everlasting and it depends heavily on your imagination. The better your imagination of the items, the more stable and longer lasting the objects will be, and they can be further improved by having knowledge of its construction, such as blueprints."
"Hm…can you give me an example?" Kazuma asked as he began to eat his meal.
"Sure, Trace On."
The Caliburn once more formed in Shirou's hand and he put it on the empty space on the table.
"It's beautiful…" Megumin commented with her jaw dropped.
"Shirou, what sword is this? I can feel that it's a really powerful sword…" Aqua asked.
"Its name is Caliburn." The redhead answered nonchalantly.
Kazuma stood up in a haste from hearing his answer.
"Caliburn!? The Sword in the stone!? The Sword that chose the King of Britain, Arthur Pendragon!?"
Shirou nodded as he asked Kazuma to sit down in order to not draw attention.
"Yes, this sword belongs to her."
"Her? Don't you mean him?"
Shirou shook his head at Kazuma.
"Arthur Pendragon was actually a woman disguised as a man, her real name is Arturia Pendragon."
"And how are you so sure about that?"
Shirou smiled again.
"Because she's staying at my home before I came to this world."
"…"
"…"
"You're kidding…right?"
"I'll never lie about her."
After a brief moment of silence, Kazuma slammed the table with a clear shock on his face.
"WHAT THE HELL!? FIRST MAGIC IS REAL BACK HOME, THEN THE CHOSEN KING IS A WOMAN!? What's next, Vampire and Zombies are real!?"
Shirou didn't answer him but averted his gaze away.
"What the fuck!? How can the public not know about this thing!?"
"Calm down, you stupid NEET! You're drawing attention here!"
"Aqua's right, Kazuma, you shouldn't draw attention. But still, this is the first time I've heard another Sword in the Stone…"
"What do you mean, Megumin?" Shirou asked with curiosity.
"Back in my hometown, there's also a sword in the stone."
""WHAT!?""
This time Shirou and Kazuma jumped up from their seat.
"It's a fake, by the way, only to draw tourists to visit the Crimson Demon's village. Clearly, this sword is the real deal since I can feel the power it's radiating."
The two boys then sat back down before Kazuma said.
"By the way, Lolimin, if you want to join our party, learn some other useful magics!"
"No way. Explosion is my only passion!"
"Then you're out!"
"Kazuma, why are you being so harsh to Megumin here? I mean, having a trump card isn't a bad thing right? I can help covering for her portion if you want to have me in your party."
"Eh? Aren't you already in our party, Shirou?" Aqua looked at the redhead.
"Well, that's because I thought you were the leader, Aqua-sama…I have to ask Kazuma the actual leader of the party, right?"
"Hmph! You don't need to worry about that trashNEET. If I say yes, then you'll join our party!"
"Oi! Who are you calling trashNEET, you toad food!?"
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You Pervzuma!"
"ANYWAY! Shirou, if you join us, I'll leave Megumin to you including transporting the luggage back to town after she was done with her Explosion."
"Got it."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Megumin repeatedly bowed at Shirou and then the other two.
After dinner, the group decided to end the night.
Seeing Shirou and Megumin didn't have a place to sleep, the two asked them to join them to rest at the stable where they were currently staying at. It was an experience for Shirou since he had never slept in a stable in his whole life.
When the morning came, Shirou found out that he woke up too early and see his party excluding Megumin was still asleep. They went to the small river near the stable to do their morning chore before the two left for the guild.
Luckily Kazuma had spared the two enough funds to have breakfast first if he and Aqua weren't awake.
"I wonder if they'll lend you their kitchen…"
"What? Are you implying that you can cook, Shirou?"
"I had to since both my parents can't cook…especially when my old man blew up the kitchen and my mom almost poisoned us all…"
"That's…disturbing…"
"I know right?" the redhead sighed. "Anyway, I'll try to ask if I can borrow the kitchen since the lounge is empty now, any request for breakfast except fried foods?"
"I'll let the chef surprise me."
With that, Shirou went to one of the waitresses. Surprisingly, he got permission rather easily if he made some breakfast for the staff who hadn't had the chance to eat yet.
"Delicious!"
"Is our chef really good at cooking!?"
"I've never seen this kind of dish before!"
"It's called Omurice with minced frog meats and vegetables!"
"Hey, how do you know about it?"
"Well, the chef told me, and it's not our chef, but the adventurer that just registered yesterday! The one who had ridiculously high status but chose Adventurer as his job!"
"Really?! Where!? Where is he!?"
"There, the one sitting with the Crimson Demon girl."
As the waitresses and staff talked about him, Megumin who had tried his cooking was showering him with praises. By the way, Megumin was on her 4th serving.
"You sure can eat with that small body…"
"Oi, are you trying to call me loli in a polite way?"
"Who knows?"
The redhead shrugged as they continued to eat.
After they were done with their breakfast, now followed by tea and juice, two women approached Shirou and Megumin.
"E-Excuse me!"
The two turned at the blonde woman with hair tied in a ponytail wearing white armor, and a yellow and black sleeveless dress underneath it. The girl behind the blonde woman was a bit petite and she wore a revealing outfit. The girl had short silver hair and purple eyes with a scar on her right cheek, similar to a Goddess Shirou knew.
Shirou then met her eyes and the girl put a finger on her lips playfully.
"Can we help you?" Megumin asked as she put down her cup.
"Are you the ones who put up the recruitment posters?"
Shirou looked at Megumin who shook her head at him. The latter then answered.
'That was our party leader, Kazuma, but he was still asleep when we left for breakfast."
"I see…that's unfortunate…then I'll wait at the other table until he comes in then."
The two women left Shirou and Megumin before the silver-haired girl winked at the former which somehow the latter noticed and asked.
"Do you know her?"
"First time I see her." The redhead shrugged.
"Huh…"
"What?"
"Nothing…you seem popular since the waitresses and Luna-san had been checking on you…"
"Huh?"
Megumin didn't answer him and decided to change the topic. She asked a lot about his magic and what he can do while Shirou tried to answer her honestly without hiding anything.
After around an hour, Kazuma and Aqua finally joined the two with Megumin saying that they missed Shirou's cooking which was incredibly tasty. The former two complained to the redhead to make it for them too and Shirou agreed to them.
"By the way, Kazuma, there's someone who wants to join your party." Shirou supplied as he watched Kazuma who sat beside Megumin and Aqua who sat beside him eat their breakfast.
"Huh, what's she look like?"
"Why are you implying that someone is a girl already, you PervNEET?"
"Oh shut up! Can't you stop being annoying so early in the morning!?"
Shirou and Megumin sighed at them before the former cut them.
"She's blonde and looks like a knight from her attire. She was here but since you didn't show up for an hour, she and her friend left, probably doing a quest or other things."
"A knight eh? If she can be a tank, that means our party will be complete…what about the other girl?" Kazuma asked.
"From the way how light she dressed, way lighter than you and me, probably her job is related to something rogue."
"A thief." Megumin supplied and the rest of the group turned to her. "That was Chris, someone with a thief job who's a freelancer."
"She's a freelancer eh? Maybe this time she decided to settle on a party~"
As Kazuma began to make a disgusting face, the women in his party opened their lips.
"Scumzuma…"
"Pervzuma…"
Shirou meanwhile could only give him a wry smile as he listened to his companions.
As they continue their drabble, the two women from before returned to their table. The blonde woman now known as Darkness wanted to join Kazuma's party and the silver-haired girl known as Chris offered to teach him and Shirou a few thief skills if Kazuma let Darkness join them which the former agreed to immediately, not knowing the consequences. The two were taught Steal, Lurk, and Enemy Detection.
"Say, what's the limit of this Steal skill?" Shirou asked at Chris.
"Well, it depends on the user's luck, they can steal everything from their target."
"Huh…then can I have my necklace back? That's very important to me you know?"
That's right. When Chris had taught Kazuma and Shirou Steal, the thief took the necklace from Shirou and a pouch of money from Kazuma.
As Chris heard Shirou say that his necklace was very important, her face turned bright red before she shyly handed his necklace back.
"I didn't know you're with the Eris Church..."
"Well…" Shirou stole a glance at Chris who still had her face red before he answered Darkness. "I don't need to boast it, right?"
"Yes, yes, truly said like a gentleman you are, Shirou."
While Chris was still distracted by the redhead's wordings, Kazuma had taken back his pouch from the thief. Then the four decided to return to the guild.
Kazuma told the others that Darkness would be joining their party since she was a Crusader, no one made a complaint since it was a high-tier class.
While the group was having a talk with others regarding what quest they should take, an announcement came up suddenly.
"This is an urgent quest! Every available parties are urged to gather at the front gate!"
The group party of five not including Chris who was still sitting beside Shirou, stood up from their seats.
"Urgent quest?" Shirou asked as he looked at his party leader.
"No idea. This is the first time I've heard it too…"
"Huh, this must be about the cabbages…" Darkness mused a bit loud for the part to hear.
"It's that time already? I guess today's explosion goes to them."
"Wait, cabbages?" Asked Shirou and Kazuma, not knowing what they mean as Aqua pushed the two otherworlders.
"C'mon you two! It's a bonus quest! Go go go!"
"Wait, I come to the other world for agriculture?"
-KONOSUBA-
All of us had gathered at the front gate of Axel and suddenly, the waitresses who also worked as receptionists announced that one cabbage equals to 10000 Eris.
"Oooh! The price increased again!"
"I'm gonna go all out then!"
"Time to fill my wallet!"
Aren't they just cabbages? Why are they priced that high and why are all the adventurers preparing to fight!?
"Kazuma, Kazuma!"
"Yes, I'm Kazuma. What is it Aqua?"
"You better gear up you know?"
"Huh?" I looked at the idiot Goddess in disbelief. "Why do I need to gear up just to farm cabbages?"
"Kazuma."
This time I turned to Shirou who was standing at top of a tree. How did he go up there without me realizing it!? No, how the hell did he do it!?
"Look at the sky over there."
I did what he told me to and squinted my eyes. True enough, I saw the cabbages. They weren't laying waiting on the ground, but they were flying toward us.
"Listen you dumbNEET. This world's cabbages are rich, fragrant, crunchy, and full of fibers…the most important thing is, they won't end up on your plate without a fight!"
As I listened to this stupid Goddess, I pulled my hair and yelled out.
"WHAT A GOOD-FOR-NOTHING WORLD!"
"Stay back Kazuma! This is the time for the strongest Arch-Wizard to act!"
"Shut it you explosive maniac!"
I groaned before calling for Shirou—
"I am the bone of my sword."
What the?! I could feel something heavy lingering in the air after Shirou said those words.
I looked at him, squinted my eyes, blinked several times, rubbed my eyes, and then my jaw fell.
"OI dumb Goddess, explosive loli, darkness, Chris… am I hallucinating?"
"No…you're not…pervNEET…"
"That's amazing, those line was so cool!"
"So many swords… I wonder how it will feel if they thrust into me…huff…huff…"
I turned at the blonde girl as if I was hearing something wrong. The thief didn't say anything but I could see she was too flabbergasted at the sight.
"Steel is my body and fire is my blood."
There it is again, now the air is heavier and other adventurers start to turn at the redhead of my party. I don't know how many swords there are around him, but all I can say is I don't know if there will be any cabbages left for us to farm.
"I have created over a thousand blades."
"Oh fuck, Megumin, I'm sorry to say this, but this tension is even better than when you used your Explosion…"
"No, no, no! I can agree with you, I mean! Can you look at him!? Those lines are so Crimson Demon-like! Do you think he's also a Crimson Demon!?"
"Ne, ne, ne, Kazuma! If Shirou kills them all, he'll share the profit with us right!? Can you imagine how many millions of Eris he will get?!
A lot. A goddamn a lot. We might not need to work for several weeks if we can manage it properly.
"Trace, Bullet. Fire!"
With that command, all the swords floating around the redhead propelled themselves at a speed that I can't catch up with.
All of us were blown back to our asses because of the wind pressure those swords caused. Not even the heaviest armored guy over there could handle the wind pressure as he fell to his butt.
Then, we looked up at the sky which was dark and filled with cabbage.
"Heh…you see that? Those swords blew up the damn cloud… I can't even see the cabbages except for those who had landed…"
My legs trembled as I recalled how those swords just propelled themselves mercilessly at the cabbages. Damn, this guy is a monster!
"Kazuma, Kazuma! How much do you think we'll get?!"
"Shut it you money digger!"
"Aaaaaah! Amazing!" I turned to the explosive loli who was humping her staff. "Those cool lines followed up with rain of swords! But no matter what, my Explosion is still the strongest!"
"…huff…huff…imagine…being stabbed by a rain of swords in every corner of my body… mmhmm…the ecstasy…huff…huff…"
Yup, I didn't hear it wrong. This Crusader called Darkness is a masochist… a dangerous one…
"Incredible…"
I looked at Chris whose face was turning red as her gaze never left Shirou who jumped down from the tall tree with no problem.
Is he even a human!? That tree is almost 10m high!
"Damn…I don't know what to say… we can't harvest too much…but we got a hell of a show…"
"Those Eris traded with this show was totally worth it…"
"He's a prince…"
I turned at the girl who uttered that last one.
"He's a prince of swords… sword prince…"
The girls from other parties then giggled with red faces as their eyes never left the redhead of my party.
"I counted 6812 swords hit the targets…do you think that's enough, Kazuma?"
"Wait, you counted it!? I mean, how could you?"
"Well, those swords are mine, and I felt them strike those numbers of cabbages."
I deadpanned at the redhead.
This guy is so goddamn OP!
6812 x 10000 Eris, then that would be...
As I was busy with my calculation, I heard that Luna, the buxom blonde asked to see Shirou's adventurer card.
"LEVEL 28 IN LESS THAN ONE DAY!? 6019 CABBAGES AND 793 LETTUCES KILLED!?"
Oh… in less than a day, he surpassed our party's cumulative level… and it's not 6812 cabbages but 6019 eh?
Then that means…
"We earned 60 million Eris in a day from such an easy quest!?"
I shouted the number out loud, surprising my party members.
"""60 million Eris!?"""
My group parroted.
"If this is back in your world, 1 Eris equals 1 yen you know, that means it's a whopping 60 million yen, Kazuma!"
"60…million yen…" I gulped from Aqua's whispering.
"Can you have them deposited into my party leader's bank account?"
I had my head whipped to the crazy redhead.
"Are you sure? I mean… looking at your party leader…"
Luna turned at me with a frown and a look that says 'this person can't be trusted with money'.
"Yes, I'm sure about it. He'll be the one managing them for us. I trust him with the money."
I have to say. My heart is touched with how Shirou trusts me although we just met yesterday.
"You must be happy, eh KazuNEET."
I slapped the back of this stupid goddess' head and tried my best to hide the blush on my face.
"Heh heh heh, as expected of Shirou! He's able to trust a scum like a Kazuma with that much money!"
"Oi, loli, call me that one more time, I'll make sure that you won't get a share!"
Then I turned and glared at Darkness who was about to insult me to get my attention.
"Don't you dare start!"
"S…Sho cruel! I even haven't said anything!"
I watched the blonde crusader squirm with pure disgust before I turned to Chris who was still enraptured with Shirou.
" Oi Chris, you okay? Your face had been red ever since Shirou summoned those swords."
I asked her with a grin. I know this thief had feelings for our main DPS since it was clearly shown on her face.
"Y-yes, you don't need to worry, Kazuma!"
I shrugged before turning toward the field. It's now a literal field of cabbages and lettuces.
"So, should we gather them all?" I asked.
This would be the most tiring job, but I can still have the other adventurers help by treating them to drinks later which I did.
A bit later in the afternoon after gathering the cabbages with the help of other adventurers.
"Shirou!"
The redhead turned to Megumin.
"Yes? What is it, Megumin?"
"Can you come with me for a while? I need to show you something important."
"Sure, where are we going?"
Shirou asked as Megumin led the way to their companions.
"It's at the outskirts of town, not really far, but a bit deep into the forest."
The two then told their companions they'll be out for a while. Chris who was still hanging with Darkness wanted to follow them, but Darkness told her to stay and help with bringing the last carriage of cabbages to the guild, promising something that she'll be properly paid.
The thief pouted at that, but then she reluctantly nodded before the group waved at Shirou and Megumin.
Time flew quickly and they found themselves on the outskirts of town where they could see an old castle at top of a hill.
"So, actually, I need someone to carry me back after I used my Explosion magic…and since you offered to carry me, I decided to ask you to help me with this… is it okay?"
Megumin asked meekly as she lowered her head.
Shirou then smiled at her with a thumb up.
"Of course, we're friends, right? You don't need to worry about something so trivial, Megumin." The redhead then began to pat the girl's head through her hat. "If you need me, then I'll be there to help you."
Megumin didn't say anything, but she could feel warm water flowing out of her eyes. Then she turned around from Shirou and wiped her tears.
"Thanks, Shirou…this is the first time someone is not bothered when I used my Explosion magic…"
Shirou smiled before it turned into a grin.
"I also have some kind of explosion magic if you want to see it, Megumin."
The girl quickly closed in on Shirou the moment she heard that.
"REALLY!? SHOW ME!" Megumin shook her head in excitement. "No, let's compete to see whose Explosion is the best!"
Shirou chuckled at the girl's antic who realized that she was too close to Shirou. Her face then turned bright red as her Crimson eyes.
"Sure, you can go first then, Megumin."
Megumin's ears perked up after the redhead announced his challenge.
"Hmph! Prepare to witness the power of the strongest Arch-Wizard, Megumin!" She said as she struck a cool pose. A hand with her staff in front of her, and the other hand at the tip of his witch's hat.
Shirou clapped at that and began to pose in his own style as she walked in front of Megumin, his back stood straight before his head turned a little bit to allow Megumin to see it.
With a deep voice, he said.
"Can you keep up with me?"
Megumin shuddered from that voice, her body trembled in excitement, her face flushed, and she could feel a smile creeping up to her face.
'That was so cool! it's only a single line, but when he said it, it makes me have a goosebump!"
She thought inwardly as she calmed herself and begin to chant for her own explosion magic.
YOU CAN SKIP THIS PART, JUST A LONG CHANT FOR MEGUMIN.
"Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark, I beseech thee, combine with my deep crimson. The time of awakening cometh. Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary, appear now as an intangible distortions! Dance, dance, dance! I desire for my torrent of power a destructive force: a destructive force without equal! Return all creation to cinders, and come from the abyss! This is the mightiest means of attack known to man, the ultimate attack magic!"
Each line was said with one pose as she removed the fake eye patch she put on her left eye followed by gigantic magic circles forming on top of the old castle.
As she reached the last line of her Incantation, she raised her staff up in the air and said.
"EXPLOSIOOOONN!"
*BOOOOMMM!*
Shirou looked at it and whistled before he caught Megumin who was about to fall.
"How was that!? The strongest spell that I have!"
She asked, not realizing that she was currently in Shirou's arms, helping her to balance herself.
"That was pretty awesome. As expected of the one who followed the path of Explosion diligently!"
Shirou praised and the girl's blush became deep red.
"Hmph! Now, it's your turn! I'll see if you're worthy to be my rival!"
Shirou chuckled again at Megumin. She reminded him of Illya who hates losing to him.
Then he put Megumin to lay next to a tree where she could watch his turn.
All of a sudden a black bow made of metal came into his left hand.
"A bow?" Megumin asked tiredly but there was excitement in her eyes.
"Yup, my kind of explosion had me infuse my magical energy into my sword and turned it into something really explosive."
Shirou turned toward the castle before sparing Megumin one last look.
"Are you prepared to see the strongest Explosion you'll ever see in your life?"
Megumin blushed before she nodded at the redhead.
Shirou smirked, and then a drill sword came to his right grip before he knocked it to his bow and pulled the metal string, making a screeching sound.
Strangely, as she pulled the string, the sword also altered itself into an aerodynamic one.
"I am the bone of my sword."
"CALADBOLG!"
He let loose the string and the arrow-sword flew toward the castle in a spiral motion.
Meanwhile.
"It's finally the long vacation that I've been waiting for!"
A headless black knight said as he held his head in his hand.
Everyone would know immediately what he was, a Dullahan. An undead and also one of the Demon King's Generals.
"Man, the Daughter always overworks us every day… luckily our king found out about this and decided to give me a vacation…"
He stopped as he looked at the old castle in amazement.
"Hmhmhm, this place never changes ~"
The Dullahan then began to set a barrier among its castle when suddenly a loud bang hit it.
"W-what the hell!? Who cast Explosion magic this way!?"
He saw that some parts of his castle began to shake and some parts were crumbling.
"Luckily, explosion magic is not something that can be used repeatedly in one day… but I'll have to repair this barrier in case there'll be more tomo—wait, what's that thing flying here?!"
The dullahan raised his head which was in his hand to see the window clearly.
"A-arrow!? No, wait! It's not a normal arrow! It rips my barrier like a paper—"
Before the Dullahan could finish his sentence, his view was filled with white and he found himself on the other side of the river of the dead.
"No way… I died because of an arrow… this great Beldia…died because of a fucking arrow!"
Shirou then turned at Megumin whose jaw fell to the ground. She couldn't believe her eyes. The castle, the hill, and everything surrounding it was gone with no trace as if there was never anything in that direction.
"You okay Megumin?"
"…"
No answer from the Crimson Demon girl. Then he felt that his adventurer card warmed up a bit.
He took it out and looked at the killed monster column and he found a new entry.
"Huh… I killed a monster named Beldia…"
"Wha!?"
Megumin gasped. She tried to stand up but then she fell face first to the ground..
"Easy now, Megumin. You're exhausted, right? Don't push yourself."
"That's not important right now, Shirou! What was the thing that you just said?!"
"I killed a monster named Beldia?"
Megumin paused again before opening her mouth.
"Are you…really sure about that? You killed Beldia?"
Shirou then proceeded to show Megumin his adventurer's card. Her eyes quickly scan the card and indeed, she found Beldia's name in the killed monster's section.
"Shirou! You killed a demon king's general!" said Megumin in amazement.
The redhead meanwhile could only scratch his head.
"I did?"
The two then returned to the guild, and Megumin forced the redhead to go to the receptionist's counter which was attended not by Luna but one of the waitresses he made food for this morning.
"Oh, Shirou-sama! What can I do to help you?"
Before Shirou could open his mouth, Megumin whom he was still carrying on his back opened hers first.
"We killed a Demon King's General."
The guild hall went silent, including Kazuma, Darkness, Chris, and Aqua who were about to call for their two companions.
"Uh… I'm sorry, can you repeat it?"
The waitress asked nervously after she tried to clean her ears.
Then Shirou decided to pull up his adventurer's card and show it to her.
The waitress took it, and after several seconds, her eyes went wide and she passed out while standing. Not long after that, Luna decided to take over and began to verify the adventurer's card to check whether it was falsified or not.
"…we've confirmed that you truly did kill a demon king's general…Shirou-san…"
Luna swallowed a lump in her throat before continuing.
"F-following with the rewards, the kingdom will reward you with 300 million Eris…ahem…Congratulations, Shirou-san!"
She said as she beamed up at the redhead.
"Uh…thanks?"
"300 million Eris!?" Kazuma yelled out and Shirou turned at him with Megumin on his back.
"Kazuma, Kazuma! We're rich! We can party all day right now!"
"To kill a General, a day after he joined the guild…it's a very incredible feat…I wonder if I can withstand the blow he gave to the demon king's general…"
"…"
Chris didn't say anything but her eyes never left the redhead in front of her.
"Luna-san, please deposit all of the reward money to Kazuma's bank account, alright?"
"I understand, Shirou-san. It seems like you are a very selfless person, aren't you?"
The blonde receptionist giggled at him teasingly.
"Wait, wait, wait Shirou! What do you mean by my bank account!? We didn't even know you and Megumin were fighting a General!"
Kazuma interrupted. While he didn't mind the money and handle the flow of it, at least he needed to know the reason.
"Well, first of all, it was a total fluke that I and Megumin killed a General. I mean, we were just competing with explosion magic when it hit a general and killed them while it didn't even manage to show itself…"
Kazuma had his jaw dropped from what the redhead said.
"The second, I trust you to handle our living expenses, of course, you can use them for whatever you want…including hosting a party for the other adventurers."
The redhead smirked and Kazuma followed up with a grin before she turned to the rest of the adventurers in the guild hall.
"Today's on me! Order whatever you want!"
All of the adventurers cheered at that and began to order without holding back.
Then Kazuma's group began to seat themselves at the table in the corner of the room.
Kazuma was sandwiched by Aqua and Darkness, while Shirou was sandwiched by Chris and a tired Megumin.
"Shirou! Tell us, how did your little walk turn into a general killing mission!?"
Aqua asked excitedly. If a General is defeated this early, there's a chance that she would be able to return to heaven earlier than she thought.
"Even I don't know. I and Megumin were competing on whose Explosion is the strongest when suddenly mine killed Beldia."
"Huh… when you said you were having a competition with Megumin, did you use an explosion magic?"
Darkness asked as she leaned in curiously.
"No, it was a sword that I charged with magical energy and turn it into an explosive sword."
…
"Wait a minute, before, when we were transporting the cabbages, we saw a really huge explosion…way bigger than Megumin…but we thought it was hers and didn't question it anymore…we saw only one explosion though…does that mean…"
"You're right, Kazuma. That was not mine." Megumin supplied. "His explosion is way better than mine and he used it as an arrow which travels the air faster than a normal arrow."
"Huh? Didn't you say sword?" Chris opened her lips after quite a while.
Shirou then smiled at the group before projecting another sword and altering it into a more aerodynamic form. Then he put them on the table after charging the sword with his magical energy.
"Be careful with it, you don't want it to go off in here."
The group gulped before Chris picked the sword up. Her face was unusually serious.
"How strong is this arrow…err sword?"
"Way weaker than the one that I used, and the previous one, I only used ¼ of its full capacity."
"W-what will happen if you fill it up to the max?" Kazuma asked nervously.
Shirou then pondered a bit.
"I can blow up a whole mountain or two if it's fully charged."
The group went silent again. Aqua dropped her glass, Kazuma stared incredulously at the redhead, Darkness wore a perverted expression as usual while mumbling 'I…I want to feel it…', Megumin felt betrayed knowing that her rival was still holding back, but she still smiled, knowing that an even better Explosion can still occur if Shirou wanted to, while Chris almost dropped the sword before Shirou managed to catch it, as his face was planted on Chris' thighs.
"I-I'm sorry, Chris!" Shirou apologized before he returned to his seat.
"N-n-no no, I'm fine with it…you can stay a bit longer actually…" she said as she whispered the last part.
The night passed by real quick as the group had their party in the guild lounge. Aqua drank too much and puked rainbow at Kazuma, Megumin was not allowed to drink alcohol yet and had juice instead, Darkness and Chris drank moderately, while Shirou just pondered whether he could return to his own world.
Later that night, Chris and Darkness had gone back to their own home, while Kazuma had rented rooms for each of his party members to avoid sleeping in the stable. Shirou, however, was still at the guild, having a little talk with Luna.
"Say, Luna, can you help me with one thing?"
"Oh?" The receptionist paused whatever she was doing and gave her full attention to the redhead. 'I-is he going to ask me on a date?!'
"What is it, Shirou-san?" She asked with her heart beating profusely. She felt that her cheeks were getting warm as she waited for the redhead's answer.
"Regarding the matter of who killed Beldia..."
Luna sighed inwardly, disappointed that Shirou was not planning to ask her for a date. "What about it?"
"Can you put it on Kazuma's name? I don't really want to stand out before you ask."
"Shirou-san, are you sure about this? I mean...I know that you probably want to avoid attention from the Kingdom...but it was your feat, and I think you should be the one known as the one who killed the Demon King's General."
"Yes, I'm pretty sure about this. You can put it because of Kazuma's leadership that we killed Beldia and I landed the final blow if it makes you feel better."
Luna sighed again at the selfless redhead.
"Fine then. But you owe me breakfast for a week!"
"Noted. And do you need someone to accompany you home? It's already quite late and a beautiful girl like you shouldn't walk alone at this time."
Luna immediately accepted his offer. While she didn't get the date, at least she got him to escort her to her house.
The waitresses who heard that were jealous of Luna, but they didn't say it out loud.
Unknown to Shirou, a certain Goddess was watching him from heaven, feeling a bit irritated at the sight of the receptionist and Shirou walking side by side together.
Author notes
This is just a random idea for OP carnival Shirou, just treat it as a parody.
