The Truth Is Revealed
"So no lies or passes?" Laura asked.
"Damn straight," AJ said as he passed Petey a beer. "It's all coming out tonight."
"Can we get started now?" Alexis asked.
"Yeah me first," Petey said. "Lexi, how big are your tits?"
"That is none of your business," Alexis said.
"I know but I'm asking anyways," Petey said. "No passes."
Alexis looked at AJ who showed her no compassion. She gave him a quick scowl and then looked at Petey.
"30 B, thank you very much," Alexis said proudly. "Laura, I've wanted to ask you this for years. When did you lose your virginity?"
"Four months after I started going out with Petey," Laura said.
"So who'd ya cheat on him with?" Alexis asked laughing.
"That's not funny," Petey said eloquently.
Laura laughed. "What about you AJ? When'd you lose yours?"
"I was fifteen, in the middle of the neighbors' field," AJ said.
"Geez, thanks for the details," Alexis said.
"Her name was Abby," AJ said winking at Alexis.
"Would you like me to call her for you?" Alexis asked.
"Nah, it's alright, I see every night Tuesday night," AJ said smiling.
"You're an asshole," Alexis said.
"Finally someone agrees with me," Petey said.
"And you Williams?" AJ asked.
"He was sixteen," Laura answered for him.
"I was twelve," Petey said to her.
"What?" Laura asked shocked.
"Bullshit," AJ said looking at him. "You can't count your hand!"
"You told me sixteen," Laura said.
"I had to tell you something, you were finally ready," Petey said.
"Both of them are assholes," Laura said to Alexis.
AJ looked at her. "Honey, you couldn't tell your ass from a hole in the ground."
Laura slapped his arm.
"Well Lexi, your turn," Petey said. "Tell us your story."
"My first 'experience' was when I was fifteen," Alexis said.
"Experience?" Laura asked.
"Yeah, I was with this guy and he wanted to but I got scared. But my first time was when I was sixteen," Alexis said. "Laura, when we were at a club you said that the song Love in an Elevator was one of your favorite songs because it reminded you of Petey. Explain."
"Oh God," Laura said slamming her head down on the table. "The things that come out when you're drunk."
"Don't dawdle, tell," Alexis said.
"Alright. It was when I had just started working for TNA, Petey had also just started. We had talked a few times, he had kissed me once or twice, and then one day we were in the elevator and one thing led to another," Laura said. "Eventually we ended up on the top floor, in an empty room making out until ten o'clock."
"It was a bit more than making out," Petey said happily.
"We have to have a vomit bucket," AJ said disgusted.
Laura looked at AJ. "What's the most disgusting thing you've seen while working for TNA?"
"If I was working there then that would've probably been it," AJ said to her.
"Besides that," Laura said.
"I was talking with Ronnie and we were looking for Jerry. Well we opened the door to his office and there's Traci fondling Matt. She sees us standing in the doorway and just pulls on him like it was supposed to stretch."
"I'm never going to look at Traci the same way again," Alexis said.
"I laugh every time I see her," AJ said. Then AJ looked at Alexis. "What's something that you've told anyone?"
"Including you?" Alexis asked.
"Yeah," AJ said. "Everyone's got their secrets."
Alexis thought for a few seconds.
"One night I walked downstairs while living with you," Alexis said pointing at Laura, and apparently it was a Wednesday."
"No more information needed!" Laura said covering her ears.
"Anyways!" Alexis said pulling her hand away from her ear. "Jerry and Sarah were going at it doogie style!"
"What nice memories," Petey said laughing.
"Oh fuck man!" Laura said grabbing AJ's beer and downing it.
"It's alright!" Petey yelled jumping up from his chair. "Captain Orgasm is here!"
"Sit your ass down!" Laura said. "Someone go get the vomit bucket."
"No vomit buckets allowed," AJ said. "I couldn't use one and neither can you."
Alexis looked at Petey.
"What?" Petey asked fearful.
"You ever sneak over in the middle of the night when Laura was still living at home?" Alexis asked.
"No I did not," Petey said. "AJ, you ever?"
"Nope," AJ said. "But that didn't stop us from going at it at my dad's."
"You're just full of extra information tonight aren't ya?" Alexis asked.
"Full of something else too honey," AJ said.
"We'll discuss that later," Alexis said.
"What's your longest 'dry spell'?" Petey asked AJ.
"Eight months," AJ replied.
"How did you live?" Petey asked in shock.
"I think you can figure that one out," AJ said.
"Thanks for that lovely image," Petey said. "I will never be able to sleep again."
"If you're not sleeping lock the door," AJ said.
"Can't you forget about that?" Laura asked. "At least we aren't loud like you two."
"I don't know about that," Alexis said. "That music was pretty loud."
"Okay, in all seriousness Lex, how often did you get high when you lived in New York?" AJ asked her.
"I smoked marijuana twice, and I did cocaine once," Alexis said. "I was only a dealer."
"Scariest moment?" Laura asked Alexis.
"While living in NYC?" Alexis asked.
"Yeah."
"The scariest moment while living in New York…" Alexis said thinking. "There were two. The first one was when I was sleeping in my bedroom, a guy broke into the apartment, came into my bedroom and begged me for a hit. The second was when they found out I wasn't giving them all of the their money and they tried to kill me."
"Wow," Petey said.
"Those two are definitely very close in eeriness," Alexis said. "Laura, what did you do after I made a run for it with AJ?"
"As you know I broke my leg," Laura said. "But when I was in the hospital I told them that Jerry and Sarah weren't my real parents so it took them a little while to get that straightened out while you two made your way out of the city and then after that I moved in with Petey."
"We just always assumed that you went back home with your parents," Alexis said looking at AJ. "We never even thought to ask about what you were doing."
"I don't think I would've let her go back there," Petey said. "I didn't even want her to stay there after the beating that they gave to AJ. Do you have scars from that?"
"Yeah," AJ said lifting his shirt up. "There's five of them but they're faint."
"How long were you in the hospital?" Laura asked.
"Three weeks," AJ said. "You try thinking of an explanation to that."
"What did you tell them?" Alexis asked.
"I gave them some bullshit explanation," AJ said. "I don't even remember what it was."
Alexis looked at Laura. "Why do you love Petey?"
"Because he always knows how to make me smile," Laura said smiling at him.
"She admitted to loving me," Petey said to AJ. "Definitely bonus points to me."
Laura laughed and looked at Alexis. "Why do you love AJ?"
"I think I fell in love with him when he knew how to take me away from my everyday life," Alexis said looking at AJ. "But I love him now because he hugs me all the time and I love hugs and no matter how tight I hug him he never gets hurt."
"If you could hurt him I was going to have to laugh and point," Petey said.
"I did hurt him once," Alexis said smiling.
"Tell me so that I can use it against him," Petey said happily.
"He was tickling me one night in bed and I was trying to get away and I finally managed to escape and I kneed him in the nose."
"That hurt like a bitch," AJ said.
"Dislocated it," Alexis said laughing.
