Disclaimer: I own nothing BSG, and am not profiting from it (except for the stimulation of my already overactive imagination). Comments are welcome!
RUNAWAY BRIDE(GROOM): PT 2
What should have happened on Lee & Dee's wedding day...
The two marine guards in the hallway saluted Commander Adama, receiving only a brief nod of acknowledgment before he quickly entered the head.
"Uh oh," muttered the tall, dark-skinned one, nicknamed "Sledgehammer".
Without turning his head or changing his expression, the shorter, stockier redhead with the callsign "Trigger" responded, "'Uh oh' what?".
"He's got The Look."
"What look?"
"The Look of Doom. You know, The Look."
Trigger grinned slightly. "Cold feet?"
"Yep. I've seen that look one too many times."
"Too bad. Dualla is mighty fine."
"Well, I heard that she's got an attitude now that she's marrying up."
"Wasn't she two-timing the President's aide for a while there? Keiko, Keikeeya, something like that?"
"Something like that." Sledgehammer glanced at the head, and then scanned the halls quickly. "I just might win that bottle of Picon whisky after all."
"What? You had a pool running on the Commander?"
"Yep."
"How come I didn't know about it?"
"You were too busy trying to sweet-talk Showboat into giving you a lap dance."
Trigger's jaw twitched. She didn't hit as hard as Starbuck, but she had done her best.
The edges of Sledgehammer's mouth tilted up slightly. "Hey, 'tell you what. I'll bet a couple of Caprican Blend stogies that the Commander turns right instead of left when he leaves the head. Whatcha got?"
"A bottle of Sylvian Skies aftershave."
"Nice. I'm gonna smell pretty."
"I just don't see–"
At that moment, they heard a series of thumps emanating from the head.
22222
That feels better.
Lee was banging his head against the metal sink, trying to knock some sense into his brain. He had tried splashing water on his face, but that wasn't working. Pain seemed to be the best thing for what ailed him at the moment.
What the frak am I thinking? This is the same bitch that keeps breaking your heart over and over and over again! Look how she rubbed Anders in your face, practically humping him in front of you! And don't even mention the fact that she crawled into your rack when she got the wedding jitters. And then she laughed it off, denied it and married the motherfrakker anyways. She's always breaking the pieces, expecting everything to be okay. And when things are okay, she breaks them again! Frakfrakfrakfrak!
Finally, he stopped the head-thumping and looked into the mirror, noticing the large bruise forming. Boy, that gonna be attractive. He snickered at first, then a burst of uncontrollable laughter erupted from him. He suddenly had the image of walking down the aisle–Dee's knight in shining armor-- with an egg the size of a pyramid ball on his forehead. The look on Ana's face when she sees me...She'll be horrified!
That last thought sobered him. Gods, get a grip! He stood up straight, staring directly into his own eyes in the mirror. You don't want to hurt her. She's good for you. She's loyal, smart, attentive in bed, everything you want in a woman. She won't run around on you or break your heart. She'll never hurt or disappoint you, and she'll always be there for you, and she'll always watch your back. He re-buttoned his jacket (noticing that it was fitting a little more snugly than usual), adjusted his ceremonial sash, and combed a few stray hairs back with his fingers before slipping his gloves back on. You can do this! Focus! Focus on what you want! He took a deep breath in and turned towards the hatch.
Sledgehammer and Trigger stood at attention as the Commander stood in the doorway of the hatch. Even though their eyes were straight ahead, they heard him mumbling something repeatedly–something that sounded like "Focus on what you want". He then he turned walked down the corridor–to his right. Not to his left, where the wedding festivities were in full swing, but to the right...towards the elevators. When he had gone, the marines turned their eyes towards each other, Sledgehammer smiling broadly
"I'm gonna smell pretty."
TBC
