Chapter Twenty Four – Balance and Release

So, the art show had been interesting but running into Marty again had definitely put Rory in a gloomier mood. She and Marty had started off as good friends. It was one of those times when the story should have gone somewhere important and created a lasting, life-long friendship (what else could happen when you found a naked guy outside of your dorm) but now she didn't see that ever happening. Logan was supposed to be there in her life and as far as she knew, he was doing his best to come back to her, to them.

"So," Honor said as she looked over at Rory with her decaf coffee. It definitely did not taste the same as the usual coffee order she had that was half a caffeine sludge with little water but it was what she had to make do with. "Are you excited to be retuning to Yale?"

"Excited," Rory said as she placed a hand over her belly, "intimidated, scared out of my mind. If all of that stuff with the boat hadn't happened then I wonder if my circumstances would actually be better," she said weakly and Honor laughed in a supportive manner.

"I think that if I was in your shoes, I might have stolen a boat too," Honor said though it was more than obvious that she was having conflicting emotions having said that. Honor most likely would not have stolen a boat but she always had access to one or could get access to one. Her family could buy or rent anything that they wanted, she would have had journalist jobs wide open for her had she wanted to go down that road. Honor saw Rory's hesitance and tried to lighten the subject. "Logan's really excited to be a father, I mean he's still scared out of his mind, let's not forget about that, but I think he's excited. Now, whether he can be responsible for another human life…"

Rory smiled weakly. She knew that they would figure it out but how long it would take them to do that was the harder question. Her mother had been able to know what to do with a baby and she had been much younger than the two of them. Surely, Lorelei Gilmore would know what needed to be learned to successfully take care of a child.

"So, your mother's supportive, right?" Honor continued to ask and Rory nodded with a short breath in.

"She's supportive. I mean, for her, my education has always been incredibly important to her. That's why I moved in with my grandparents for so long because I didn't think that she understood what I needed, I understood what I needed. I think she wishes that this would have happened after I graduated from Yale but neither of us have a crystal ball."

As Rory took another long sip of the coffee, Honor laughed and flicked back some hair that was lying over her shoulders, "Not even the richest of us can buy crystal balls unless you mean the Swarvoski balls. Besides, I don't think anyone would look at my brother, as much as I love him, and say that man is a father. But, he's doing his best. My nephew or niece is going to have two gorgeous parents, that's for sure."

"I'm hoping that I'm able to do my best to give them the best genes possible, you think they sell those somewhere?" Rory joked and Honor laughed before reaching out to take Rory's hand in hers.

"I'm here for you if you need anything, I hope that you'll remember that," she said and Rory nodded with a soft smile as she reflected on that night. It was starting to get a little bit better as she sat here with Honor. Rory really was looking forward to the days when Logan would be back with her again. She appreciated how hard he was working but it was getting more and more impossible not to miss him or constantly yearn for him.

Xxx

Logan looked at the clock on his desk. There was still an hour and a half before the next meeting and he would only need half an hour to prepare, forty-five minutes if he wanted to look even better in his father's eyes. He had often thought that by skating by and finishing something in the last few hours was a good idea but then he hadn't been given the challenge of a baby in the future. He sighed as he decided that the more time he could take getting ready, the better. He had to earn his place in his father's eyes and once that was earned then he could be with Rory and their child.

Still, he could spend thirty more minutes looking into this book on raising a child from birth to six months. He was still a little nervous about how some of the books he had stumbled upon had just said to sit back and watch the mother handle everything. Maybe that was how it was in some families, it definitely seemed that in the upper elite it was that a nursemaid or nanny or someone would be in charge of all of this. Still, he wanted to do his best to be a good father. He never wanted his child to experience similar feelings as he had with his own family.

"So," Logan said as he looked at one part about preparing a bottle. He held out his wrist and put his fingers where they had said it was a good place to test whether the milk was hot enough. Babies were sensitive in every imaginable way, some ways that Logan didn't even imagine on his own. Their bones were sensitive, their fingers and toes, the inside of their mouths and gums were more sensitive than he had thought as well. It was really important to make sure that the milk or formula was at the right temperature.

He flipped the page afterwards and started to feel embarrassed as he saw that the next couple of pagers were on breast pumping and how to wear the right bras, the pictures were what made him feel even stranger. Usually a pair of breasts wouldn't make him feel queasy but reading about how the milk was formed from them elicited a much different reaction.

There was a knock on the door and Logan quickly put something on top of the book. He regretted not closing it immediately. The office assistant who stood at the door looked at him puzzled but decided not to comment on it. Logan still had his hand on top of the papers which were covering the book. "Hey, Nate," Logan smiled weakly trying to hold in his out of character bashfulness. "What can I -How can I help you?"

"Mr. Huntzberger wants you to have the data graphs for the meeting, he needs you to be able to present those," Nate said and Logan smiled weakly before seeing Robert checking on his pants as if he were expecting a little extra there. Logan decided not to comment on it, especially when Nate eyes went to his face instead with his own look of embarrassment. This man probably believed that he was looking at porn. Well, if Logan had considered it porn then he probably wouldn't have chosen that kind of thing to look at.

"Is that all?" Logan asked and Nate nodded.

"That's all," he managed to get out in a weak voice and Logan smiled. He let his fingers spread over the papers and thanked Nate before he left. Logan took another few glances to the now closed door before looking at the pages on breast pumps. He didn't have to read any of this, did he? Rory knew all about this kind of thing or she'd learn. Knowing his Ace, she had already put together well organized folders filled with information. Yes, he'd leave her body to her. Although, he wouldn't mind touching her, kissing her, holding her.

How had he become so head over heels in love with a girl that he felt weaker when he wasn't by her side. Hopefully soon he'd come back to her and then he would never have to leave her side again.

XXXX

A few days later and after looking through all of the reading material for the next semester at Yale, Rory still felt a bit listless. There were so many things to keep her up and occupied that she didn't know about and whereas she knew through their texts to one another that Logan did want to be there for her and he did want to help support and provide for her, Logan needed to not switch completely into the life of a responsible father. He needed some balance.

That was what allowed her to go home that day and see her father who had always acted as a big kid when she was growing up. Walking into the house, she was distracted by the smell of coffee. She paused and then began to feel herself getting nauseous. It was haunting and frightening how something she loved so much made her want to vomit. Hopefully that would stop in the future or else she'd have to switch out her coffees for diet sodas.

"Mom! Dad! Anyone here!?" she called out before hearing a clattering from the kitchen. She went in and smiled as she saw her father with different pots on the kitchen table. She raised an eyebrow. "Cooking?" she asked.

Christopher chuckled and rubbed his hands together, "You bet, trying to makes something for your mother when she gets back. Now, if I know her correctly she prefers steak to chicken, that girl can eat," he said and Rory nodded.

"I don't think that you should think healthy for this meal," Rory suggested as she saw a healthy cookbook on the side of the table.

"That's for me," Christopher said as he patted his midsection, "Have to keep myself in shape here. I've not been going to the gym as often as I would have liked to and so I have to figure out some way of making your mother not realize the weight that I've been putting on. Some women leave men for that, you know," he joked with her.

"I don't think that Mom's concerned with that," Rory replied thinking back to her first adult-supervised date with Dean when they had watched a movie that pretty much fetishized candy. "I was actually looking to see if I could get your help."

"Help with what? The baby? Do you need me to take you somewhere, get you something, get -" Christopher started to panic and Rory hated to admit that the worry and concern made her feel special and cared for and protected.

"What would you want as a man with money?" she asked. "I want to do something to show Logan that he can still be carefree and spirited within his own home. I don't think that Grandmother's designing skills would work here. I want to set something up for him. A -"

"A man cave," Christopher asked. "Okay, why don't we come up with some ideas?" he asked and Rory laughed softly.

"That'd be perfect."

End of Chapter Twenty Four

Thank you for reading

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Twenty Three

Bseriel, December Jeffries2, Eyanna85, jt96, KathyMesser, Kyra, mollymaefarrell, mrb24moo, nightnovice, roganjalex, Rori Potter, Rory Ace Gilmore Huntzberger