first of all, i've been a little slack in thanking all of you for the wonderful feedback. i really do love it and you'll never know what great motivation it truly is for me.

so.. chapter 4. i'm not even going to begin to tell you how much i cried writing this one, but you should all buy stock in Kleenex.

anyway, this is THE chapter, at least as far as i'm concerned. it's answering some questions about the past, present AND future. coughthirdinstallmentcoughcough

so...on with chapter 4!

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Author: Alison

Disclaimer: Characters belong to DC, WB, AlMiles, etc., etc., etc. I only own the story and two tickets to DukesFest 2006 in Nashville on June 3-4. Then I'm hanging around for CMA Fan Fair June 8-11 in Nashville. Oh yeah, I'm gonna meet Bo Duke AND Keith Urban in the same week! I know you're jealous. My cat is, too.

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Chapter 4

The door softly closed behind her. She leaned her head against it and took a deep breath. She was exhausted and cold.

Thank goodness Mrs. Kent called and told her to take the day off. She didn't know she was going to work that night at the Talon. There was just too much on her mind.

Like him.

It was driving her crazy. She wanted to be around him. She wanted to be with him. She just wanted him to know that she was there for him to lean on if he needed her.

The handhold told her he did.

She sighed and took her coat off, hanging on the hook by the door. A long hot shower might warm her up and make her feel better.

She unzipped her boots and pulled them off as she made her way to the bathroom. As she walked in the bathroom, unbuttoning her suit jacket, she felt something in her pocket.

Her heart sank. She instantly knew.

She reached in and pulled it out. The old photograph was scratched from the broken glass. But there he was, smiling at her.

She missed him. Sure, he wasn't her father. But he was his father. And she knew how much he meant to him.

It was still overwhelming. She didn't know why it was affecting her so much. But she'd grown to love his father as if he were her own. She silently knew he cared for her as if she were his own, too.

Her bottom lip began to quiver. It was bound to happen sooner or later. She hadn't really mourned his death. It was only a matter of time.

She sat on the edge of the bathtub, still gripping the picture. She tried to sniff back the tears, but it was no use. They fell anyway.

The sobs were uncontrollable as she slowly slid off the edge and onto the bathmat in the floor. She began to rock back and forth, pulling her knees to her chest as she cried.

He'd been so nice to her. He'd welcomed her into their home and into their lives. He just…cared.

No one had done that before. But that family… They'd proven to her how much they cared about her. She'd always be grateful to them.

She took a deep breath as the tears slowed. She sniffed and wiped her face.

A shower. She needed a shower.

Placing her hand on the side of the tub, she hoisted herself up and reached for the faucet. She turned it on, first running her hand under the water to check the temperature then pulling the knob to turn the shower on.

She gently laid the picture on the vanity then stripped down and stepped over in the tub, pulling the curtain closed around her. The water instantly warmed her. It also calmed her as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply standing under the shower head.

Her mind drifted back to earlier. They held hands for a while. They just stood there. No words. They didn't need them. They both knew what the other thought, so why use words?

She didn't know how long they were out there. But it was long enough that her extremities were beginning to freeze. She didn't want to leave, but it was so cold.

She turned to look at him and saw the grief still on his face. But he wasn't crying anymore. In fact, he had the same expression as the day before during the funeral. He was stoic.

"I need to go. But I'll come by to see you later."

He hadn't said anything in response. But he didn't need to.

The gentle squeeze of her hand let her know he heard and was okay.

She didn't want to pull away. She didn't want to let go of him.

But she took a deep breath and slowly released his hand. There would be time enough later for them.

She slowly turned and walked away from him. It was too cold for the tears to flow freely, but she did have to sniff back the few that wanted to fall. She hopped in her car and drove back to the Talon. His mother called on the way and told her not to worry about working today. She knew she had a rough last couple of days, too and figured she could use the rest. Mrs. Kent always knew.

Why had this family gotten to her? Why had they affected her so much?

She sighed and opened her eyes as the warm water hit her and steamed up the tiny bathroom.

Why had he affected her?

He made her nervous and excited at the same time. He drove her crazy.

Yet he always seemed to be around when she needed him, even if she didn't realize she needed him.

She grabbed the loofah and bodywash as she thought over the last few weeks.

They'd become best friends, not purposely, but really by accident. If he hadn't walked in that night when she was so vulnerable, so defenseless, who knows where they'd be now?

They learned to trust each other. He'd come to her for advice about college and she, in turn, confided in him that she was beginning to warm up to the idea of journalism. She really loved those classes Chloe convinced her to take. She was even thinking of transferring to Met U for fall semester.

He seemed happy for her and even told her that he was thinking of transferring in the fall, too. She knew the only reason he went to Central Kansas was because of Lana. Now that she wasn't around much anymore, mainly because of Lex, he felt the need to go somewhere else.

He'd even confessed to her that he was still trying to find where he belonged. She told him he wasn't alone in that, but she had every confidence that he'd find a way to make a difference in the world.

She amazed herself at that comment. A year ago, she never would've imagined she'd be so close to him, let alone his best friend.

But she was. And she loved it.

She really did love being around him. He was pretty good at one of two things: annoying the crap out of her and making her smile when she least expected.

She smiled at the many examples that came to mind with each of those as she gently scrubbed her body with the loofah.

The past few days had been rough, though. She hadn't smiled. He hadn't made her laugh. She'd had trouble talking to him. She wasn't sure if anything she'd said over the past twenty-four hours even got through to him. She thought it might have judging by his reach for her hand, but she couldn't be completely certain.

She just wanted to be with him. He made her feel better whether he knew it or not.

But she wasn't ready to admit anything out loud just yet. She didn't know what to do. Seeing him crying over his father's death was just so…heartbreaking. It was also very reminiscent of her after her mother's death.

Lucy would come in her bedroom at night and want to know why she was crying. She used various excuses such as a stomachache, a bruise on her knee, a splinter.

Once, shortly after her mother died, Lucy found her crying in bed because the General yelled at her when she broke her mother's handheld mirror she always used at her dressing table. She became so mad staring at herself in it, seeing her mother's face instead of her own, that she threw it on the tile floor in the bathroom, shattering the glass into tiny pieces that littered the floor. Her father came in screaming at her. She yelled back at him, ran to her bedroom and slammed the door. She didn't speak to him for a week.

So, she knew exactly what he was going through with his father's death. She understood better than anyone.

That's why she promised herself that she'd always be there for him. Even if there were no words. She'd still be there.

The warm water cascaded over her as it washed the suds off her body. She reached for the shampoo and squeezed it into her hands as she worked it through her wet hair.

She wasn't quite ready to admit it out loud how much she cared for him. She didn't know what she was afraid of. Maybe it was just the fear of change. Maybe it was the fear of the unknown.

But over the last few weeks, and especially the last few days, something had changed. She didn't know what it was. Was it just the fact they'd grown closer? Was it simply because they trusted each other?

She didn't know. And it was making her crazy.

But every time she saw him and every time she touched him, she felt it.

She couldn't be sure what it was, but it felt a lot like…a flutter.