Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Just the witty things they say.

Shinra: "Way to toot your own horn."

...Shut up, you.


ENTRY FIVE:

Located another sphere today. It wasn't much, but evidently it makes for a useful dress sphere. Oh, joy...another outfit to embarrass myself with.

I won't be giving it up anytime soon, though...it was one huge-ass trek up Mt. Gagazet to get to it. And that giant spider! It really gave me the creeps. Seriously, why does there always need to be some huge obstacle right before we can actually get a sphere? We even had to beat down that blondie impostor in order to find it first. I believe she said her name is Leblanc. Good...now I at least have a name to put on my "To Harm" list. Hell, I think I'll update that right now.

TO HARM:

-Bastard hypello

-Brother

-Rikku

-Shinra

-That annoying little kid from that Sphere Break commercial

-The guy who ripped me off and sold me a Lure Bracer as a Charm Bangle

-Leblanc

...Boy, I really need to start cracking down on these people. I should probably put Brother up there twice, now that I think about it. That idiot jumped ship during our sphere hunt and tried hitting on Yuna afterwards. There's something very wrong with that. I can't quite tell what's so awkward about it...it's mostly just intuition. I'm sure I'll find out eventually.

-The one and only, Paine.

ENTRY SIX:

We detected two spheres today. Personally, I thought we should take the day off, and for once, the rest of the crew followed my advice. Brother gave us all a short break before heading out after the spheres, and now here I am, writing in this journal. It's pretty amusing, since I'm also sitting on one of the beds watching Yuna trying to hold an intelligent conversation with Barkeep. Needless to say, it's not going very well.

Barkeep: "Mish Yoona, what can I do for yoo?"

Yuna: "...What did you say?"

Barkeep: "I shaid, what can eye doo for yew?"

Yuna: "I'm sorry, I just can't seem to understand you..."

Barkeep: "...Jeesh. Jush forget itsh. Yoo ish shtoopider zan zee shoopuf, yesh?"

Yuna: "Huh?!"

Barkeep: "...Nothingsh, nothingsh."

Yuna: "..."

She should just give up already. She's obviously not getting anywhere. She's better off trying to talk to someone that doesn't require translating, like Shinra, or Rikku...speaking of which, where is Rikku? I saw her running off somewhere with a bag of candy when Brother gave us the OK for some down time, but I haven't seen her since. I should go find her...I'll be right back.

...Okay, I found Rikku. She was on the deck of the Celcius, snorting some sugary candy thing she calls "Pixie sticks". She sort of laughed hesitantly, and then offered me one.

I swear, if she wasn't the captain's sister, I'd...

Wait a minute.

Okay, Brother likes Yuna. If Rikku and Yuna are cousins, and Brother and Rikku are siblings, then wouldn't that make Yuna and Brother...

...Oh, sweet Yevon.

I think I'm going to be sick.

-Paine. Horribly disgusted Paine.

ENTRY SEVEN:

Break over. I think I'm almost done being terrified by the whole Brother/Yuna thing.

...Oh, wait. There it is again.

Ugh...at least I got my mind off it for part of the day. We finally went out on our sphere hunt. The target location was Besaid, so Yuna was able to catch up with all her old friends on the island. I must say, that Wakka is...interesting. If he's really going to be a father, that baby is in for a rough ride. Many near-death experiences in store.

You know, for a pregnant woman, Lulu is way too thin. Hell, she's too thin for a normal woman. I wonder what keeps her from flying away in the island breeze...must be all those buckles on her dress. Hm.

I guess I should probably stop bashing the island inhabitants and get down to what really matters...the sphere hunt. The sphere routine itself was normal: Hiking and trekking, solve a puzzle, travel down a long corridor, find sphere, get into a fight, a winner is you. What makes it interesting is that this sphere could also be used as a dress sphere, and a somewhat useful one, at that. White Mage healing powers can really come in handy, I hear. I've never had to heal my allies, but you know what they say: "A friend in need is a friend to waste mana on". I mean, "a friend indeed". Yeah. Indeed.

-P