Disclaimer: If you didn't know it by now, you don't deserve to be here...I don't own any of the Final Fantasy characters, blah blah blah, I'm not going to buy them just for this story, you know the drill.
Benzo: Except for me! I'm on sale for 1300 gil!
JB: Benzo, I wouldn't buy you if you were on fire...
Benzo: That...doesn't make any sense...
JB: Well, that's the gist of it.
ENTRY TWELVE:
Today fared slightly better than I thought it would, actually. We discovered that the Youth League and New Yevon were arguing over an "awesome sphere". So, of course, we stopped on in to wreck the party for everyone in Kilika.
Once we got through the checkpoint at entrance to the forest, it took forever to get through those woods. Gates, guards, and idiots everywhere. You'd think they could run around aimlessly in a way that wouldn't hinder our progress, but I suppose you can't rely too much on life being easy if you're a sphere hunter. After we got through all those damn trees, we hit another checkpoint: this time, we needed passwords. Thankfully, Rikku got distracted by something shiny and we overheard some guards saying the password when we chased after her. I suppose a short attention span has its advantages, after all.
So, we climb up all those stairs to the temple platform, and I'm thinking that our job is over. We can find the sphere now. Suuuuuuuuuure. You just keep holding onto that disillusionment, Paine. ...No, we were FAR from over. The temple went and ordered itself some machine from headquarters in Bevelle, just to guard itself from the Youth League.
I swear, the next time we go visit Bevelle, I am kicking Baralai's ass.
One long battle with an overgrown pile of rocks and it's all over. We just grab the sphere and haul on over to the Celcius, since Buddy brought it up to the temple to pick us up. I don't get why he couldn't have just dropped us off there in the first place to save us a lot of trouble. Who knows? Maybe he was too busy getting some drinks from Barkeep.
...As disturbing as the mental image of a drunken Buddy is, I think I'm going to stick to that theory.
-Paine, sphere hunter.
ENTRY THIRTEEN:
Well, everyone watched the awesome sphere. I can't say as it was much interest to me, though...all I knew was that Yuna recognized the guy in it and that the machine in the background could kick Brother's ass and whip him into a fine paste. Which doesn't say much, really.
Brother decided that we should give back the sphere, after much deliberation and stupidity. I didn't go to all that trouble just to throw it back at one of the groups and say "Oh, here you go! Sorry we pissed you off and stole the one thing you wanted most in life! Have a nice day! ". I was about to smash the sphere right over his head when Yuna thought that this would be a good a time as ever to astound me entirely and agree with Brother. Just a couple of minutes earlier, she was all whiney about her weirdo deadboy, and now she just passes it off with an "Oh, it's cool. I haven't seen him in two years, and I may never find him again, but sure, we can give the sphere back". How...uncharacteristic. I know it fits Yuna somehow, but it just doesn't seem right with me.
So, we'll be returning the awesome sphere tomorrow. At least we're having a party later tonight to make up for it. It had better damn well be a good one, or I am personally going to crash this airship and everyone on it.
Stupid lousy mood...
-Paine. Just shut up.
ENTRY FOURTEEN:
Whoo, what a night.
We started it off with that whole "Yuna dancing" thing. Rikku went up there, too...they wanted me to join them, but I declined. Rather, the threat of stabbing them declined for me.
So, anyways, they're up there singing and dancing and looking like fools, and evidently having a great time. You should have seen the look in Brother's eyes. That perv. He even tried to talk to Yuna afterwards.
Brother: Yuna! You're dancing was terrific!
Yuna: Oh, um, Brother...
Brother: It was astounding! It rocked me to my core.
Yuna: ...Brother?
Brother: Yuna, this dance...never before have I experienced anything so...so...amazing!
Yuna: Brother...
Brother: You need to dance again for us all sometime! I am sure that your dance alone would be able to...
Yuna: Brother!
Brother: Oh! ...Yes, Yuna?
Yuna: My eyes are up here. -points to her face-
Brother: Oh, uh...heh heh. I...think I'll just be...going now...
Yuna: ...
Sicko. After that, Yuna left a bit early...she just broke out in a fit of rage, yelling about some girl named Lenne that her supposed boyfriend mentioned. In my opinion, I really don't think he would cheat on Yuna. I mean, if a guy looks as girly as that man did, how would he even get two women, much less one?
It's too bad that she went to bed so soon, because after she left, the real party started. Barkeep started giving everyone free drinks. Of course, that was just asking for trouble right there. Before you know it, almost everyone on the ship, including the musicians, is totally sloshed; Brother and Rikku especially.
Rikku: I am so drunk right now.
Buddy: -singing- I feel pretty...oh so pretty...
Rikku: Hey, anyone got some Pixie Sticks? I forgot to buy more when we stopped for candy.
Brother: We never stopped for candy! We bought weapons!
Rikku: Then what did I eat? ...Oh, no...I think I'm gonna hurl. –throws up-
Me: Eww...I was wondering where that White Ring went...
Shinra: ...You know, I'm glad I'm just a kid.
Pukara: All these drinks and no gil spent, no wonder where my sobriety went!
Barkeep: Eye've gotsh more drinksh, ebberibuddy! I mean..."elixshursh"?
Rikku: Whooooooo...I'll take...another...-passes out-
Tobli: Wow! So much alcohol, so little time, yessir, yessir indeed! You know, if I had all these drinks I shouldn't still be talking so fast, fast, fast! How logically illogical!
Shinra: Um, as the only sober person here, I would like to raise an important question...
Brother: -hic- Shoot...
Shinra: If we're all up here...who's piloting the ship?
Buddy: ...We are sooooooooo dead. –keels over-
Me: 1000 gil says I can pilot this thing.
Barkeep: ...You're on, shishter!
You know? Maybe Yuna did make the right choice by going to bed early...
-Hungover Paine
So what did you think? XD
I didn't continue this chapter further because I wasn't sure who I should give the sphere to in this story...New Yevon or Youth League? I'm tipping toward Youth League so I can make fun of the scene in the Den of Woe, but let me know what you think, anyway. Even if I ignore you entirely. You know...or something similar.
