Disclaimer: What do you think I'm going to put here? The Final Fantasy Characters aren't mine, and so on and so forth. This part is so boring...let's spice it up.
Ever drink Red Bull, or any other energy drink for that matter? They taste like crap. Expensive crap, I might add. And they give you so little! It's such a rip-off...does anyone ever actually feel more energized after they drink it? I'm telling you, it's a god damned conspiracy...
Entire Cast: "...Get on with it!"
...Fine, fine. XP
May I present to my lovely readers who have given me nothing but good reviews (and I reiterate: WHOAMFG!!!!111!11!11!ONE!1!1!!SHIFT!11!), Chapter 5.
...I name them after I write them. o.O
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ENTRY FIFTEEN:
So, after that whole ordeal yesterday, we're finally giving back the sphere. Thank Trema that we finally are...I don't think we could take much more partying. I think even Rikku did something with Barkeep that she would rather not mention.
As it turns out, Yuna was the one who had to make the decision. Brother appears to be too much of a fool to even take care of his actual job as leader of the Gullwings. We're probably better off that way: if Brother made the decision, it would likely have ended up getting lost or going to some group that doesn't even exist. He would take too long, too...Yuna's making up her mind as I write.
Well, it looks she chose the Youth League. I suppose I shouldn't have any regrets about it...it's not my choice to make. Either way, I was going to lose a friend. The only difference here is that I'm losing what appeared to be my only sane friend. I mean, seriously: Gippal is just weird, Yuna is in her own little world, Rikku never had sanity in the first place, and Nooj shot me. I mean, what kind of friend does that? "Oh, we're breaking up the group, here's a farewell present for you, -BANG!-". I suppose maybe this time around he'll at least get a chance to apologize.
At any rate, we're leaving soon. I'll write again after our visit.
-Paine, Unwilling Bullet Sponge
ENTRY SIXTEEN:
We just finished up our trip to Mushroom Rock Road. We gave up the sphere, but being there really made me regret Yuna's choice in political groups. Yaibal came running up to us, yelling some nonsense about us joining the Youth League and "what a proud day it was for all of them". Sweet lying Yevon, someone needs to smack that man before I hurt him myself. As you would expect to result from this, the rumors of us forming an alliance with the Youth League ran faster than a flaming Rikku.
Note to self: Try that sometime.
Once we made our way to headquarters, we handed over the sphere to Nooj, and he gave us the story on Vegnagun. He claims that Baralai and New Yevon are hiding it from Spira, trying to keep it to itself, saying that his only purpose in this matter is to destroy the giant machina. Quite frankly, I don't believe him as far as I can throw him. Which is nowhere near as far as I can kick Shinra.
Out of curiosity, Yuna insisted that afterwards, we visit the bottom of the ravine leading to the Youth League HQ. Of course, this is the location of an event in time that I hold very close, always wondering why it had to happen. Yes, I'm talking about the Den of Woe. At least, that's what they call it now. I'd rather not have thought of it then, but I couldn't tell Yuna and Rikku about what happened...so, I had to go along with it.
When we got down there, we found that someone had beaten us to it: that someone was none other than Nooj himself. He was trying to open the sealed door, but of course, didn't have the power to do so. In return for "agreeing" to help open up the Den (I certainly didn't agree to it), he handed me one of the old spheres I recorded back in the Squad. Evidently, it takes all 10 of the spheres to open it up. Nooj went and commented on how he believed fate had brought us together once again in the Den (You know what's fate? My foot being fated to connect to his ass, that's fate), and left.
Just as anyone would suspect, Rikku just had to say something.
She caught on to our little chat, and gave me an interrogation on my past. Oh, boy, how great. I could just feel my heart keeping with joy, and the same sarcasm that I relay onto this journal now.
There was a lot of pointless talk and wasted breath, but in a recap of the situation, I break it down like this:
Rikku: Wait, did you know him?
Me: ...
Yuna: Whoamygosh!
Me: ...What's wrong with you people?
Rikku: Paine and Nooj, sittin' in a tree...
Me: Give me 5 good reasons why I shouldn't slaughter you where you stand. And the first four don't count.
Rikku: But...I can only think of four...
Me: ...Exactly. -pulls sword out of nowhere-
Yuna: Wait! But I want to know more first!
Rikku: Me too!
Me: ...Minus 3 respect points.
Rikku: How many now?
Me: Uh...(insert somewhat low number here)
Rikku: That's not a lot, huh?
Me: Damn straight.
...I don't think that she's caught on to the fact that I don't actually tally up respect points. I just sort of throw a number at her and watch her whine about it. It's kind of funny, really...I don't think she's intelligent enough to do the math. That girl has some serious attention span problems. If she doesn't like the situation we're in, she just waits 10 seconds. "What? Giant fiends?! Oh, poopie! How in the world are we going to...hey, a penny!".
Maybe I should actually use these respect points for something. Perhaps I could bargain with Barkeep to use respect points like actually currency. Then I can just credit myself with 1000 points, maybe head on down to the bar...
...Oh, the things I dream.
-Paine. Twenty million journal points!
ENTRY SEVENTEEN:
That stupid, shoopuf-screwing, sphere stealing, hellspawn bitch of a...agh, words can't even describe how pissed I am!
While we were out giving back the sphere to Nooj, Leblanc and her goons busted into the ship and stole our half-sphere. Sure, it may have been worthless to us, but it's the fact that she took it straight out of our grasp that really gets me! I mean, how does she even pull off something like that? Where were Brother, and Buddy? What could possibly have pulled them out of their line of duty to protect the ship and all of our...
Hold it. I just spotted a "Free Drinksh" sign that Barkeep must have put up. Well, that explains everything.
So, while our two main "guards" were off drinking in the middle of the afternoon, Leblanc just waltzed on in and grabbed our stuff? Unbelievable.
...I just talked to Yuna and the rest of the crew. It seems like we're going to sneak into Chateau Leblanc and grab back our half-sphere. Since we need disguises, I suppose that means we have to steal them from the Fem-Goons.
Wow, I hate my job.
...Nevertheless, the Syndicate stole our property, and we are sure as hell getting it back. Of course, you know that this means that it is downright, flat-out, asskicking time.
-Paine, Spiteful and Revenge-Driven
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Whew. That chapter kind of sucked. I wrote it so late at night...I blew all the best potential for the Den of Woe scene and I let you all down! Nooooooooooo!
Don't worry. I'll force myself to make up for it. After all, the next chapter is the hunt for the Syndicate, and since I need to make fun of the game as much as possible, you know what that means:
...I must type up the Hot Springs Scene.
Damn you fanboy readers! Damn you to hell!
-JB
