Disclaimer: Shaman King is not mine! (I wish it is…)
"The reflection of Light & Darkness"
---Chapter V---
My spirit… Is that really a Spirit?
Already, it is the afternoon. As promised, I went to the library to read what Anna gave me. Her plan is quite easy to understand: Anna gets all the money and can relax around while the others work for her. There are some critical errors but I managed to correct them in no time. After two hours of reading, I am overloaded with information. Bored and tired, I've decided to go for a small walk. Everyone is with their parents. They all look like proud of their son/daughter for their accomplishments. The one person that I keep my eyes on is a really big man, and when I say big, I mean like a giant. He is shouting at someone who appears to be his son. That's the boy in my combat class! If I remember it well, his name is Tao Ren. I hate to be he, having a father this gigantic.
I continue to pass by the others. It is not long before I see Jeanne with my stepfather; he seems to be happy with her. This is good. At least she will not get punished by him. The next people that I can't help but to notice are Anna and my real father. He is trying to hug Anna while she tries her best avoiding him. She even summons her two favorite spirits, Zenki and Kouki, to keep him away from her. Of course, Zenki and Kouki win and beat my father out in the air.
Annoyed by how everyone has their parents with them, I walk away from that scene.
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Who would have thought? If I told myself a month ago that I would rather to be at a student council meeting than at other places, I would definitely kill myself. Now, I truly think that it would have been better to attend to a student council meeting. As I continue to pass by, I feel that someone, or rather something is drawing me in. It is a nostalgic feeling… I cannot tell what it is or what I know about it but it is very familiar, like I've known this for a long time. The air is getting thicker as I step toward the place where my instinct tells me to follow. Although it seems familiar, I still don't have a good feeling about it.
Suddenly, I feel like something is pushing me back. It is like a strong force pulling me away from the place I want to be. That force is so strong that I no longer am able to move, even if I use all my strength. In my mind, there is a soft voice whispering to me. It is gentle, yet unable to resist listening to it.
Yufina… Don't walk toward there…
I can hear that voice calling my name. I know that voice. I've heard of it somewhere… but where? When? When did I hear this voice? Why can't I remember it?
Yufina… Can you hear me?
"Who are you?" I ask.
Finally, you can hear me. I have been calling and calling for years and year… Finally…
"Why are you calling me? What do you want with me?"
Can't you remember, my sweet little princess? I am your spirit.
My little princess… That seems awfully familiar. I know that someone calls me that but I just can't recall who. Is this person the one who calls me 'my little princess'?
It has been so long since I've last talked to you. You seem to have forgotten my voice.
"Who are you really? And why are you calling me 'my little princess'?"
I see that you don't remember me… How sad… I call you my little princess because you are the most important person to me.
"The most… important?"
Those words hit me. No one, no one ever say that to me. No one, no one thinks that I am important. It's true that I have friends and family but they all hold other people before me. I wished. I prayed. I hoped that I will be someone's most important person, yet, it is nothing but a dream, a mere fantasy.
Everyone pales in comparison to you. You are my one and only. It is because of you that I am here. You are unmovable, in my heart and soul. Without you, I will not be complete.
"I barely know you. Stop saying things that creeps me out."
But I've known you since your birth. And I've been with you ever since. I know you, better than what anyone else say.
"Oh yeah? What am I thinking this instant?"
You are sad. Although you always claim to be happy, you are not. You hate to see people with their parents because it reminds you that yours are not with you. You are never happy. There is a void in your heart that nothing can fill it in.
"I am happy! I've Anna and Katia, my best friends! I've Jeanne, my adorable little sister! I've a very annoying father, but he still cares for me! My mother is cold but she takes care of me! She paid the headmaster so that I can get into the school that I want! I'm surrounded by love! I am not alone! I am not… I am loved…"
Don't force yourself to accept something that is not true. But, you are right. You are not alone and you are loved. I will never leave you alone, and I will always love you.
"Who do you think that you are telling me all this? Who do you think you are to tell me that you love me? I don't need you. I have everything that I need. Go away! Disappear from my sight."
If that is truly what you wish, I will go away, my little princess. But you wouldn't let me go. Whether you want this or not our fate is chained together.
"What fate? Stop inventing lies!"
I am telling no lies. Hasn't anyone told you? Or have they just erased a part of your memory?
"Telling me what…?"
You have a twin brother who happens to be me.
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I run as fast as I can. I don't want to know what that person wants to say. I don't want to know anything! I am happy… I need to think that I am happy. I need to think that I am not alone. Otherwise, I will just break down… He is right. I do have a void in my heart but I don't want to accept it. If I accept the fact that I am sad and alone, I will be even lonelier, and my heart just can't bear that. I cannot let myself to weaken. I cannot let myself drown into the void of darkness that I have. I am strong and I can survive alone.
Before I know it, tears have blurred my vision. I cannot succumb to my weakness. I just can't. I close my eyes and feel the wind softly blowing on my face. When I open my eyes again, I am no longer crying. I wipe the tears on my face and smile. if I don't cry, I won't feel sad. All I have to do is keep on smiling…
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I didn't know where I am heading to. By the time that I've notice it, I'm already in front of the old church where I've seen Asakura Hao. I go in, in order to seek some inner peace. Of course, I made sure if he is in there first. After all, I don't want to see him immediately. When I am inside, I realize that I am not the only one in there. There is a kid sleeping on one of the benches. She seems to peacefully asleep. Her afro hair is a little bit messy because of the way she is sleeping. I don't know if it is I who wake her up but, as soon as she wakes up, she stares at me with her tiny eyes.
"Opacho is sleeping." She says.
"I am sorry. Did I wake you up?"
"Opacho forgives."
"Why aren't you at the parents' meeting? Did your parents forget to come?"
"Opacho no has mommy and daddy."
"Oh… I am sorry."
"No need. Opacho has Hao-sama. Hao-sama takes care of Opacho."
"He doesn't seem like someone who will take care of little kids."
Bang! That little child hits me on my head.
"You no talk about Hao-sama like this. No one understands Hao-sama except Opacho. No one wants to accept Hao-sama if Hao-sama is not strong."
"It is always better to have someone who loves you than parents who don't care about you."
"Hao-sama is my daddy. He takes worry if Opacho gone."
"I would rather to have
I envy this tiny kid. She is an orphan but yet she has someone important to her.
"Opacho" said a soft male voice, "Are you in there?"
"Hao-sama!"
She runs with her short legs to the long haired boy. He holds her in his hands and puts her on top of his shoulders. She seems to be so happy. Her smile comes truly from her heart unlike my fake smile. He is also smiling at that kid. Different than the evil smile he has last time, this smile seems like a genuine smile.
"We meet again." He says to me.
"Yes…"
I really want to walk away from here, but somehow, I feel like a part of me wanting to stay here with him. Maybe it's because I feel that if he has accepted Opacho, maybe he will also accept me. I hate myself for being so weak. However, I know that I need to ask him another thing. I need him to break off the marriage between Jeanne and him, and also ours.
"You don't seem like someone who will do what other people tell you to, or at least that's the feeling I get after talking to the students here. Everyone seems to fear you." I say, without fear of him.
People have informed me about Hao's character. Apparently, he is very arrogant and kills people who oppose him, or rather say, has his underlines kill for him. Not only that, he wants to make a world where there are no humans. A world of pure Shamans.
"They are so weak. Weaklings don't understand how power truly means."
"And yet you are talking to a girl who has no shaman power, a girl who is merely a human."
"That's because you are fun to tease."
"I don't think that you of all people will just want to make fun of people to pass time." And I seriously think that. Even if you read my mind, my comment is still the same.
"You've learn to talk to me mentally."
"Why are you here? Don't you need to go to the parents' meeting too?"
"I don't need to go. The parents' meeting is only for weaklings who need to prove to others that they are strong while I don't need to prove to anyone that."
"Just because you are at first golden star level it doesn't mean that you rule over everyone." I say angrily.
"Hao-sama is above everyone." Opacho furiously says.
"He is just using you all to do his wrongdoings."
"No! Opacho and the others follow Hao-sama because we want to. We follow Hao-sama because he is strong."
"Opacho, don't argue anymore. Humans are so pathetic. They are not worthy of living."
Somehow, I feel like I am lost. There is this shadow that pulls me back and invades me. It is so heavy, so much like a burden… Can I… Can I just let it out? Will it be fine if I let go a little bit of that weight? Without even thinking, I burst out words that I would have never imagined me saying.
"Humans are worthless. They are just destroying the nature. They kill without merci, are selfish, and ignore the state of everything around them. They are cold blooded animals. All they care is how much money they have and how much praise they get. Shamans are no better. All they want to do is to become Shaman King in order to shape the world to their liking. It would have been better if both races just disappear."
After saying it, even I am surprised. I can't believe that I am the one who actually say that! I see that Hao smile evilly as if he has been waiting for me to say that. I quickly run away from them. I have even forgotten that I need to talk about the marriage.
I want to be strong. I want to be stronger than anyone. If I am strong, then people will finally recognize me. Like with Hao, people will recognize me; people will follow me, and I will no longer be alone.
"Hao-sama likes this girl?" Opacho asks Hao.
"She seems like a very interesting person. She has so much darkness in her heart; especially she shares the same view as me. Considering the spirits that surround her are quite strong, they both will make great food for my Spirit of Fire."
"Hao-sama likes her more than Opacho?"
"No one beats Opacho."
"Really?"
"Yes Opacho. Now let's go to the parents' meeting together."
"Opacho likes Hao-sama really really really very much!"
"I know, I know, Opacho. Let's go."
Next Chapter: My Other Spirit
Author's notes:
I kinda like Yufina's brother. To him, Yufina is the most important person. I know that I promised both Yoh and Hao's appearances but I just don't have spaces to write about both of them. Since I've to choose only one of them, I choose Hao. (because Yoh appeared first in chapter 2 and Hao appear second in chapter3) This has nothing to do with whom I like more (although I like one more than the other, it will not affect who Yufina will end up with). Yufina's brother took the space of Hao's meeting with Yufina, so if you feel like killing someone, kill her brother, not me! And about Yufina's outburst, it is planned, it is not a improvisation.
Reviewing is good! Reviews make me know that you are actually interested in my story nad it will make me want to write more!
