I'll bet you all gave up on me, didn't you? Well, I'm back! MOO HA HA.
JB
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ENTRY THIRTY ONE:
Well, once it had finally sunk in that Oh Shit, We've Killed An Aeon (re-killed, I suppose), Yuna, Rikku and I decided that it would be best to head back to the ship. After, of course, noticing the gigantic smegging hole where Vegnagun was, not to mention contemplating the act of pitching Leblanc's trashy self into it. A seemingly thirty-mile drop never sounded so good.
Brother, of course, felt the need to urge us on, proclaiming that the Super Duper Sphere Hunter Insanity Troupe was, in fact, in a rather severe amount of "doo-doo". Yes, Brother, you are oh-so-clever.
When we had boarded the Celcius once more, Buddy informed us that the temples had become infested with fiends. How, I wasn't sure. Didn't quite care, either. Only one thing had gone through my mind…
ME: (Please don't let Yuna volunteer us, please don't let Yuna volunteer us, please don't let Yuna volunteer us…)
YUNA: I'm volunteering us!
ME: (…Damn you. Damn you all to the Farplane.)
BROTHER: Super plan!
RIKKU: Hey…I've got an idea!
NO ONE: -gives a shit-
RIKKU: We'll charge for it!
ME: (…Whore.)
Being outnumbered Umpteen Amount Of Imbeciles to One, I obviously had no choice. Just like always. I asked Yuna if she agreed, hoping to false Yevon that she would hate the idea. Of course, since when do things go my way around here? Oh, yes. Never.
Wait! But that's not all! Call in now and receive your needless complications, free of charge! In what seemed like the hopeless situation of the century, both Baralai and Nooj have gone missing. Brother didn't care, mind you. Not his friends lost. Well, let's just see how things go when a certain leader's precious bedtime teddy bear goes missing.
What? How could no one else know that? Isn't it obvious for someone like him?
Whatever. Moving on. It seems that whenever Rikku's mouth opens, my brain itself begins to bleed, as she and Brother continued to discuss the aspects of what to do first, and I began to ram my head against the wall.
Sweet, metallic airship death, please bestow yourself unto me.
Paine. Help meeeee.
ENTRY THIRTY TWO:
Putting duty aside, like always, the Gullwing Corporation of Pointlessness decided to take a moment to visit Luca. Which has no temple at all, whatsoever. As Buddy so wonderfully put it, "Hm. No reports of fiend activity here". No shit, Sherlock. Rikku could have told me that.
Instead, the citizens of Luca remained blissfully unaware of what was going on around the rest of Spira and chose to occupy themselves with a game known only as Sphere Break. Oh, boy! Math and competitions? Sounds like a god damn blast!
…Of course, we just had to enter.
So, Yuna and Rikku displayed an uncharacteristic display of intelligence as they sufficiently smote the other entrants in the tournament, Shinra aside. Although Rikku most humorously was beaten like a rented shoopuf, Yuna somehow managed to defeat Shinra, who proclaimed that his "goggles fogged up". Joy of joys, we get another skimpy dress sphere, Lady Luck. At least I can go gambling now.
Paine. Feelin' Lucky!
ENTRY THIRTY THREE:
The group has continued on, and we've made one more brief stop on the Mi'ihen Highroad. It appears that the machina there that were previously guarding the roads have, in a twist of delicious irony, begun to attack passerby. Knowing Yuna, we simply had to help out! I mean, what fun would life be if we didn't stop every five seconds to deliver help to every adult, child, and flan that might possibly need it?
Boy, I should really take a shower or something, I'm simply dripping in sarcasm. Like a cynical marinade.
Well, we destroyed thirteen machina and continued on to the next stop, Rikku complaining all the way that leaving without solving the mystery wasn't a very happy ending for the situation. Taking pride in my restraint, I refrained from beating her into a bloody pulp and simply gave my token Phrase O' Wisdom And Mystery ™.
After that, we all decided to pop in for a brief chat with whoever had taken command at the Youth League HQ. This was, of course, absolutely no one. At least it appeared that way.
People were in shock that their beloved Lord And God Nooj had simply disappeared off the face of Spira, with the exception of Lucil, of course. She had managed to maintain the appearance of someone in complete control of themselves, although she had likely been pissing herself with joy over the fact that she was now, at least temporarily, holding the position of the Youth League leader. I know I'd be pleased to be in charge of a bunch of mindless, snot-nose youths who would do anything I said.
ME: Hey, jump off that cliff, over there.
YOUTH LEAGUE RECRUITS: Yes, Ma'am! awkward salute
Oh, what satisfying day dreams I have. Best escape mechanism in the world, if you ask me. Life can be wonderful when you're not actually living it.
Aside from a lovely little tete-a-tete with Captain/Meyvn/Queen/Who-Knows-What Lucil, we gained the information that Gippal had been to visit the Youth League, and had helped them defend their sorry selves from the influx of fiends with a hot-off-the-drill-press batch of machina. Knowing both this and the fact that the Machine Faction was based in Djose, we had picked our next destination. Surprising as it was to me, the group thought it best to actually go where we should for once. No, not an asylum. Djose Temple.
Paine, the Victim of All Futile Experiences
There. Happy, now? Hope I haven't lost my touch. And yes, I'm well aware that the Sherlock bit was rather out of place. I'm blanked out, foo'. Go complain elsewhere.
JB
