CAPTAIN DUSIS

By: oONekomataOo

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this glitter pencil I found on the ground. Ooh, shiny…

Warnings: uh…a little shonen-ai later, maybe. And OOCness. Mwa ha ha!

Kyrin/Muse #1: Yet another sleep-deprived, crack-induced brainchild of an already insane cat…

Neko: Quiet you. This just came to me during Algebra ages ago when I was supposed to be paying attention or something. Whatever. Who the hell pays attention to math lectures anyway?

Nyah. So this'll be a spoof on an old cartoon by the name of Captain Planet. Anyone remember it? Don't worry, I barely do either. I guess you can call this chapter a prolog of sorts—it just contains the main theme song of the parody. Naturally, I took a few creative liberties with the original words. Enjoy!

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Prolog: The Theme to Captain Dusis

(Running on some random grassy field in the middle of some valley scene that looks as if it was ripped out of The Sound of Music, are five as of yet unidentified figures…)

Thatz: Earth! (raises his fist causing rocks, dirt, and the such to blast out of his ring)

Gil: Fire! (similar gesture, only flames of doom shoot out of this hottie's ring)

Cesia: W, Wind! (trips on her skirt, but manages to hold up her bejeweled hand hitting the sky with a strong breeze)

Rune: Water! (also lifts his fist into the air, a whirlpool of water rushing out of his ring)

Bierrez: …Heart. (reluctantly raises his ring to allow a very shojo-ish bubbly beam of light to escape it)

(As all five of these elements combine with each other in the sky, a vague figure appears within the sphere of energy)

Rath: (cheap heroic voice) By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN DUSIS!

All: Go Dusis!

Crappy Singer Voice-Over: Captain Dusis, he's a hero!

(Shot of Rath flying around in his…er, gallant leotard)

Crappy Singer Voice-Over: Gonna take the Demons down to zero!

(Rath kicks Fedelta and laughs)

Crappy Singer Voice-Over: He's a Power, magnified, and he's fighting on the Dragon's siiiiiiiide!

(Shot of Rath desperately trying to pull off the Dragon crest on his…uniform)

Nadil: (shaking his fist in the midst of a destroyed castle) You'll pay for this, Captain Dusis!

Thatz, Gil, Rune, Bierrez, and Cesia: (singing with varying degrees of success) We're the Dragonteers, you can be one too! 'Cause saving our kingdom is the thing to do!

(They hand out T-shirts with the Dragon crest to random people in the Draqueen marketplace. One little boy flips them off, so Bierrez tackles him, beats the crap out of him, and forces the shirt on him. Pedro, the underpaid chimpanzee sidekick, then jumps on his head and lights one up.)

Dragonteers: Murdering and Looting, is not the way!

Thatz: Wait--What? (Rune decks him with a folding fan) Hey! Owww…

Dragonteers: Here's what Captain Dusis has to say!

(Final shot of Rath rising into the air while his logo appears behind him)

Rath: The Power is MINE! (hit with a rock) Ow! Okay, fine! "YOURS!" Happy?

(Cheesy theme music ends and the CAPTAIN DUSIS title fades to black)

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Neko: I think that's generally how it originally went, but y'know, without cute little bishis running around with magical rings of doom. Yeah…that's probably why Captain Planet was cancelled. Gotta have those bishounen.

Craps, that was hard to write without asterisks! Sorry if you had trouble reading it. The rest of the chapters with the actual story will be in standard third person POV and an actual decent length.

Thanks for reading!