"You guys go on ahead. I need to do something right quick."
I said waving off Matt and Kale. I hopped off my bike a little ways past the parking deck that was the divider between the hills and the ghetto by the sea. I chained up my bike on a rack as I went out to a small marker on a dilapidated pier. Jay told used to tell me stories about a guy named Sid who died a couple years after I was born. I don't remember what he looked like but Jay said he was really young. He died when I was four. I do remember playing with him in his wheel chair. I sat down on the pier, my legs hanging off the side, feeling the sea spray on my face. Jay told me that back when they were teens, when Sid was first diagnosed with the brain tumor that the doctors didn't think he would live too much longer. But he lived six years after it. 'Sometimes I think he was living just for you' Jay would say to me. To a degree I almost felt like it was my fault that he died. I've had it fucked up from the beginning. My mom being only 17 when she had me, Sid dying when I was four, my dad leaving when I was five, my mom leaving when I was ten... it almost felt like the world was just out to screw me over. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm happy with where I am, I think. Well I should be, I'm the first girl to win an x-games and the first for BMX-freestyle, Rick takes care of me, I make strait A's at school and college recruits are practically tossing hookers through my window when they aren't clogging my email and my phone line, I have the two greatest friends any one could ask for, and Jay has always been there for me through all of it, but I felt like something was missing. I looked out over the water, picking my head up a fraction from where it was sitting on the wood.
"Hey Sid..."
I started out talking like I always did to him. I swallowed and wiped the blood from the cut I got earlier.
"I don't know what to do, I have everything that I could ask for but I'm not happy."
I took a slow deep breath, trying to keep from crying. I always cried when I came to visit Sid.
"This is so stupid, I mean I like BMX but it's not something I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to disappoint Rick. I wish I could have been a skater like you. Maybe things would have been easier if you didn't go."
I gave another sigh as I wiped the tears from my eyes. I quickly took in a deep breath, regaining what little composure I had left before placing a gently kiss on the little marble plaque.
"I'll see you soon Sid."
I said as I tracked back to my bike.
I woke up the next day, I sighed. I didn't want to have to go to school today. I felt like crap. I pulled on a tee shirt; I always wore long sleeves so I felt like it was time for a change. I put on my helmet and pads before stuffing a rashgaurd and a pair of girl's surfer shorts in a spare bag. I threw the bag over my shoulder and grabbed my surfboard before just barely making it downstairs to my bike this time. I rode to school, ignoring the taunts of the normal valley air headed skrags that picked on me. I groaned when I got to the bike racks. The emo boy was already there. I skidded to a stop, making sure to keep a hand on my surfboard. I secured it before chaining up my bike.
"Well well if it isn't her highness."
"Oh fuck off, I'm not in the mood."
I said distantly before turning and walking away to my homeroom. I made it to my homeroom and put my head down on my desk. It was like I could feel it in the pit of my stomach, I felt like I wanted to hurl. I saw matt out of the corner of my eye. His face looked angry and he made a sound like a plunger being retracted from a toilet.
"You...you..."
He stuttered angrily, pointing at my arm. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back out of aggravation. Fuck! Now I remember why I wore long sleeves. God damn tattoo.
"You had this the whole time and you didn't tell us!"
I rubbed my arm unconsciously.
"I had my reasons."
"You... you're...you... I can't believe your one of them. This entire time, you lied to us?"
"You never asked, there's a difference. Its just a tattoo."
"Just a tattoo! Its just a tattoo she says!"
Matt and Kale were starting to get some weird looks from the other kids in the homeroom. I mean looks that were stranger then normal. I saw Emo boy saunter in the room with a raised eyebrow in my direction.
"Yes that's all, just a tattoo."
I said pointedly. Matt shook his head and crossed his arms. Kale mimicked his stance.
"I can't believe this entire time you've been a skater skrag!"
Matt and Kale immediately went to the opposite of the room while Emo boy came sauntering up beside me and sitting in the desk beside me.
"What the hell are you trying to do? Add insult to injury?"
I shot at him. He shrugged his shoulders. I watched him study my tattoo with interest, but his eyes showed no recognition that he knew what the tattoo was really about.
"It's a nice tattoo, but I don't see what the fuss is about. I saw two other guys with it yesterday when I was at the beach."
He picked up my hand and then studied the tattoo even closer.
"Yup. The same tattoo. Lord of Dogtown? Is that supposed to be like some sort of gang or something?"
I looked at Emo boy in disbelief. Was he acting clueless or just a plain dumbass? Did he really not know who the lords were? Well to tell you the truth, I didn't know either. Mainly what I hears is just rumers.
"Where did you live before you came here?"
"On the east coast."
He said smoothly as he continued to turn my arm over, his brown eyes tracing over the feathers.
"That explains a lot."
I said with an eye roll. The bell rang signaling class change.
"So tell me about this gang of yours."
Emo boy said as he stood up and put his hands into the pockets of his low riding black jeans.
"I have to get to discreet math."
I said trying to shake him off. He looked me in the eye saying that he had the same class. I just can't shake this guy; he's like a bad cold or something. It made me frown and give an exasperated sigh as he sat beside me in that class too. After a half an hour of him bugging me through math class and then through History, I finally decided to tell him what I knew.
"I actually don't know what the big deal about it is. My dad told me stories about him and his friends and their skating adventures. The Lords is just their little club that came from it. All the skating territory in Santa Monica belongs to them."
I said as we sat down in APbiology. Emo boy was actually pretty cool to talk to, almost like I was talking to Sid on the pier.
"They have this leader named TA who comes off like a total bad ass even if he's super old."
"So your dad was a skater? Pretty kick ass."
He said as he ran his fingers through his dirty blond hair, brushing his bangs aside in a single movement. I shrugged my shoulders as the teacher passed out some worksheets to be completed as partners. Matt and Kale weren't in this class. I had a total of three classes with out those two in them, so Emo boy and I went off into the lab area to work.
"I guess it makes for a good bedtime story. I don't know I haven't seen or heard from my dad in twelve years."
"That makes two of us. My dad's an asshole, he left me and my mom."
I gave a snort of laughter and Emo boy gave me a raised eyebrow of question.
"I don't see how that's funny."
He said looking slightly offended. I raised my hands in defeat.
"I mint nothing by it; it's just that at least you still have your mom. Mine left seven years ago and I've been living with my friend ever since."
"Sounds like you copped it bad since day one."
I shrugged, reminded of my conversation that I had with Sid yesterday, I had to swallow hard to keep my emotions in check. My pencil scratched my name out on my paper.
"Its not easy like people think it is. Doing all this stuff. My sophomore year I didn't think I'd pass because the companies had me doing demos all over the country and I barely was at school. This is the first year I think they've scheduled demos and signings during school breaks. Its harsh."
I said offhandedly. Emo boy gave me a nod telling me that he was listening to me.
"I mean I love bmx-ing, but being gone every other week, not knowing when you're gonna get home to see your family, being gone all the time, not being able to go any where without peace and quiet. I mean I love the fans, don't get me wrong, but its hard to keep your sanity."
"Maybe you just need a nice long break that's all."
"That's what schools for. By the way your doing that wrong."
I said as I showed him the right way to work the right equation for photosynthesis. We worked through the packet, getting it done quickly.
"You know you're not so bad for an x-games queen."
"And you're not so bad your self emo boy."
He chuckled as the bell rang, he gathered up his messenger bag and books.
"My names CJ."
He said with a smile. Maybe he isn't too bad.
