((A/N: okay, so I've been in the Angst writing mood lately, but this is, I believe, my first horrorish story.

It actually freaks me out, so it's horror. (enough said.)

And the title's also as long as hell.

It's a bit of a fixer-upper, since I'm no good at writing,

but I hope you like it!))

You Could Call It Love, But You'd Be Lying

I'm not really sure how it started.

Or why we're still doing it.

All I know is that one day, for one bitter sweet hour, we weren't rivals. I wasn't the cat, he wasn't dumb ox, and neither of us were in love with another. For one, beautiful, breathtaking hour, we were lovers. Sharing passionate kisses and kind words. Giving our bodies to the other as if it were only natural.

As if it were the routine that it soon became.

You could call it love. You could call it love all you wanted, but you would still know deep down, that to him, it was just a cheap fuck. My body was just a play toy, a substitute for his precious Yuki.

You could say that I was in love with him, and to tell you the truth, you'd be right.

Somewhere within the loveless passion, the empty words, and the hungry glances, I'd fallen in love with him. I knew better, I told myself better. I'd berated myself many times, punishing my body for it's awful sins. Watching as crimson liquid seeped from the same bony wrists that had held my beloved not so long ago.

No one noticed when I stopped eating.

I had to be perfect, or as perfect as the cat could be. The rat was perfect with his cold eyes and slim, pale figure. I had to be just like Yuki. Maybe if I could be just like the rat, no one could tell us apart. Then, the dumb ox wouldn't know who to love more.

..It didn't work.

Yuki still remained his prized possession, I his cheap fuck.

Just a useless slut compared to the pure, perfect rat.

I tried and tried, throwing away hours of my time to become the perfect person. I studied more, payed closer attention in class in hopes of surpassing the rat in intelligence. I still ate nothing, soon finding that I could easily count all twenty-four ribs. I rarely left the house, soon gaining a sickly gray complexion. I always had to say the right thing, the dried blood caking my wrists marked everytime I made someone upset.

And yet, I got nothing but a second glance.

I guess that's when I realized that I couldn't win. The rat would always beat the cat, no matter what the challenge. Even though Yuki held no love for Haru, the ox would still chase him until the end of time. That's just how it was meant to be.

I guess that's what led me to this very moment, as I stand here with this rope around my neck. I smile sadly, tightening the noose once more. It has to be perfect. I'm to die alone, surrounded by the many trees of Shigure's wooded backyard. No one will find me here, I'm in too deep.

'I'll always love you'

I step slowly from my perch, falling sharply before a snap fills the air. I've broken my neck.

'Forever and always'

My limp body swings slightly. My eyes slowly close, void of any emotion.

'Alone in my love for you'

Too bad I'd never seen the loving looks sent my way from perfect, purple eyes.

Yeah, too bad.

((A/N: sorry for the creepish first person POV, even after Kyo died.. I've never written suicide before.

well, I mean, I've written about both Akito & Haru's suicides, but not the entire thing.

Just what happened before and after.

..And behold! The love triangle unfolds!

so, Kyo was in love with Haru,

while Haru loved Yuki,

who was secretly in love with Kyo.

Man, I confused myself. I hope you could understand it!

Well, Please Review And Tell Me What You Thought!))