AN: Thanks to all the reviwers. I'm a bit concerned that so many of you are thinking bad things about Zach, though. He's a nice guy! Really! You need to like him! It's REMUS that shouldn't like Zach. And as for the possibility of Tonks being pregnant…well…read the chapter.

Thanks to Pel for the addition of Andromeda and to SS and Gryf for helping out, too.

Chapter 5 14 March 6:02 pm

It had been a while since Tonks had held a newborn baby. The last baby born in her family was now almost two years old, and even then she hadn't spent much time cooing over the infant. There had been a war to fight and, being an Auror as well as a member of the Order of the Phoenix, Tonks was needed in the field. She loved babies, though, and managed to sneak in a few visits to her cousin's home for the chance to coo at the little one.

There was just something totally magical about a newborn baby. All the innocence – the hope for the future – was captured in that tiny little face. They could grow up to be anyone and anything imaginable. So very untouched by the tragedies of life. So perfectly cuddly and adorable.

The baby stretched lazily in Tonks' arms, whimpering in the process. "I think she's tired," Tonks said, smiling down at the bundle.

"She iz always tired," Fleur countered, crossing the room and taking her daughter from Tonks. "Exzept at two in zee morning. Zat iz when she will not sleep."

"Sounds like Nymphadora," Andromeda Tonks chimed in from behind her daughter. "She never slept."

"Eat, sleep, poop. That's all babies are good for," said Bill, stepping up next to his wife.

"Bill! Do not say zat in front of Noella," scolded Fleur.

"Well, aside from the poop, she really is a beautiful baby," said Tonks with a congratulatory smile.

"Yeah, she takes after her mother," said Bill, planting a quick kiss on Fleur's cheek.

Under his breath, Ted Tonks muttered, "Let's hope not." His wife affectionately elbowed him in the side. "I meant about being a Veela."

"Right," Andromeda said sarcastically.

"Bill – Fleur," Molly called from the kitchen. "You aren't leaving already, are you?"

"Yeah, 'fraid so, Mum."

"Ze baby needs zome quiet."

"And I think Fleur's tired, too," Bill added, winking at Fleur who did nothing to contradict him. Instead, she headed to the door.

"But you haven't had dessert!" Molly protested.

"Thanks mum, but I think we'll be fine." As Bill Leaned towards his mother, Tonks could just make out what he said next. "She's trying to lose the baby weight, you know. She doesn't want the sugar."

Molly rolled her eyes as if to say, "Oh, please."

Before Molly could convince them otherwise, Bill and Fleur were saying their goodbyes and heading out the door with their newborn. Tonks couldn't fight the smile on her face as she watched them go. After Greyback had attacked Bill, no one knew how severely he would be affected by the curse. His face would always have scars, and his cravings for food had changed somewhat, but he managed to escape the transformations. Then, less than a year ago, Fleur announced that she had become pregnant, proving once and for all that Bill's blood hadn't become tainted with lycanthropy.

I'm so happy for them. They're so lucky.

"What are you smiling about?" Remus whispered in her ear.

"Oh, you know," Tonks said, trying to brush off the feelings she was having.

"Yes, I know," Remus sighed, kissing her forehead and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "By the way, you didn't drop the baby," he said quietly, teasing her about something she had once said.

Tonks giggled and slapped his knee. "You're cruel."

They settled into the sofa while the Weasley's buzzed around the new baby for a few final moments. Her own parents had a gift for the baby that they insisted Fleur open before she and Bill left. It was a soft, white, hand-made blanket purchased at one of the finest shops in Diagon Alley. Tonks watched them, knowing that Remus was thinking the same thing she was. That blanket should be for our baby. If only…

The subject of having children had only been broached once between Tonks and Remus. It had been a slightly embarrassing moment for Tonks, and an even more heartbreaking one for Remus. It had happened just after Remus ended his assignment with the feral werewolves. He and Tonks had only been officially a couple for a short while, and given the fact that the war was in full swing, they had had very little time with one another. Frustrated and desperate to have some uninterrupted time alone, Remus had managed to convince Mad-Eye Moody to allow him to "kidnap" Tonks for two days. As soon as he received the clearance from Mad-Eye, Remus snuck into Tonks' room at the Three Broomsticks, pulled her off of her assignment, and whisked her away to a secluded cottage his parents had left him in southern England.

When they came back, everyone had known what the two of them had gotten up to, but neither of them minded. In fact, much to her mother's horror, Tonks later joked about how delightful it was to be able to spend almost two full days in bed. Remus blushed to his ears and received a congratulatory pat on the back from Fred Weasley. Everyone assumed the trip had been nothing but blissful and relaxing. What friends and family didn't realize was that there had been several long, deep, and painful conversations about the reality of their situation. One particularly emotional conversation concerned the impossibility of having children.

It wasn't as if they had consciously decided to talk about it, either. The subject came up quite accidentally. After a rather passionate evening, Tonks awoke to find Remus just as eager as she was to continue with the previous night's activities. He was kissing her neck and shoulders, trying to draw her ever closer to him. She wanted to give into him, but couldn't help but worry about the consequences.

"Where are you going?" he said as she slid away from him.

"I just have to get something."

"It can wait," he said longingly, pulling her back to him and reigning kisses on her body.

Tonks moaned, hardly able to resist. She succumbed to his passion momentarily, but was still unable to escape the knowledge that a certain spell had yet to be performed. Reluctantly pushing away from him again, Tonks said, "Remus, please. Just…just…"

"No." He kissed her deeply. "Whatever it is," his mouth found her ear lobe, "it can wait." Her body responded to his as he pressed against her, making her fully aware of his intentions.

Taking a deep breath she gathered her thoughts. "No, it can't." She pushed him off of her and sat up, pulling the sheet with her to cover her nakedness. "Just give me a sec."

Remus groaned in frustration. "What are you doing?"

"I need my wand." She glanced around the room. When they had entered the room last night it had been dark and full of shadows. Now that the sun was just beginning to rise, the room looked quite different. "Do you know where I put it?"

"Why do you need your wand?" Remus asked, completely perplexed.

"Because I hadn't planned on seeing you this week."

"So?"

"Well, you snatched me away so quickly I didn't have time to get a potion."

"Potion?"

"Yes, so we have to do things the hard way." She reached across his body and grabbed up his wand from the bedside table. "Here, your wand is closer. You do it."

"Do what?"

"The charm."

At this, an utterly bewildered Remus sat up and took his wand from her. "Tonks, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. What charm? What potion?"

"A contraceptive one, of course." she said.

Remus blinked.

"I love you dearly," she added. "I just don't think it would be too wise to have a baby right now."

Remus was stunned.

"I know, it's a total mood killer, isn't it? The spell doesn't last so we have to do it each time we…well…," she smiled brightly. "I did it last night while you were getting the drinks from the kitchen."

"Tonks - "

She continued very rapidly, ignoring his interruption. "I know that a potion would be a lot easier, and I promise that from now on I'll be taking one. I don't even know why I've waited, I mean, considering that we…well…we haven't had time to really. Just the one time and now - "

"Tonks wait. Stop, just stop." His voice was soft and gentle as he took her hand, forcing her to pay attention for a moment.

She bit her lip and blushed slightly. "Sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. I'm just…surprised that you…forgot."

"Are you kidding? My mother used to say that I'd forget my head if it weren't attached. I've just been so focused on my assignment that I didn't give the potion enough thought."

"I'm not talking about the potion."

Tonks gave him a puzzled look.

Remus' voice grew very soft. "Tonks, love, I'm a werewolf. You don't need…a potion."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Tonks realized her mistake. Suddenly she felt very ridiculous. "Oh, God." Remus looked back at her sadly. "Oh, Remus, I don't know how I could have…I mean…I didn't think…I'm so sorry."

"No, don't. Don't apologize."

"But I should never have even -"

"No, really. You don't have to apologize. You don't have to say anything. It's not your fault." He placed his wand back on the bedside table.

She didn't like the way he said that last bit. She frowned at him, her voice more firm. "It's not your fault, either. I know better. I've read nearly everything there is to read about lycanthropy. I don't know why I even thought that I would - "

"Because you're a woman, and I think that most women have, at some point in their life, considered having children."

"So do most men," Tonks pointed out.

"Yes, but men don't physically…well…"

"I think I know what you're trying to say. That it's different for woman since we're the ones who actually have the babies."

"Yes," Remus said, meeting her gaze and holding it firmly. "It's only natural for you to want children," he added very softly.

Tonks bit at her lip. "I thought this was all about me not wanting children. After all, a contraceptive charm prevents all of that from happening."

"But you do want them," Remus said, his shoulders dropping in disappointment.

She did want children, but how do you say that to the person you love when you know it's impossible? She opted for a different route. "Oh, come on. Any kid of mine would probably scream all the time. And when I'd pick him up to comfort him, I'd most likely trip over some toy on the floor, send the baby flying through the air, and watch as he lands on his little head. I mean really, can you see me with a baby?"

"Yes, I can," Remus said, his voice barely a whisper. "If you want a family, Tonks, then I suggest that you - "

"Don't say that!" she demanded, her voice stern. "Don't even think it. Yes, I'd like to have a baby, but the fact of the matter is that only person in the world that I want to have a family with is you. So if you can't… well, then we'll make do. I don't know, maybe we'll adopt. Who knows?"

"Dearest, no one in their right mind would give a baby to a werewolf."

"Okay, so we'll just be us. We'll be able to lie in on Sunday mornings. We can Apparate whenever we want and never use the floo. We can shag all over the house and never have to worry about being interrupted. I mean, come on." Remus frowned at her. "Don't look so glum. Please, Remus. Just forget what I said. It was stupid of me to say it."

Remus had a very far away look in his eye. He wet his lips and said, "When James and Lily got married, I was so happy for them. I tried hard to not be jealous of what they had. I never thought that I'd find someone with whom I could share all my secrets without them rejecting me. I was content knowing that my friends accepted me, and that would have to be enough. It wasn't until Harry was born that I was truly envious of James."

Tonks reached out and took his hand. "You do know that you would make a really excellent father, don't you?"

Remus gave a small laugh and shook his head.

"I'm serious. You have a way with kids. I've heard Neville Longbottom go on about you, not to mention Harry and the others."

"I do love children," he admitted. "Ironic, don't you think."

"No. I think it's wonderful."

"Wonderful? Even though we'll never have any?"

"I think we're lucky to have what we've got. All the rest is just decoration."

Remus looked at her lovingly. "I mean it, Tonks. If you want out, then I promise that I won't -"

"Stop it. I don't want out." She shifted closer to him. "I fought too long and hard to get here to give you up now." Gently, she brushed her lips across his. "I love you."

Nothing more had been said about it. There wasn't anything really to say. Since then, they had managed to acknowledge the subject wordlessly through sad smiles and long looks. Like now. It was bittersweet to watch Bill and Fleur with Noella. They knew it would be a somewhat difficult evening to get through. After all, they willingly accepted Molly's invitation to join them for dinner knowing full well that Bill and Fleur would be there with the baby.

The door to the Burrow closed and the house was suddenly very quiet. Remus and Tonks were left alone with Tonks' parents while Molly and Arthur cleaned up the kitchen and readied their company for tea. Feeling slightly uneasy by the calmness of the room, Tonks stood up and excused herself. She went into the loo and closed the door, wanting to be alone for a moment. Put on a brave face. Don't let Remus see you worked up over this. When she was finished, she took a moment to splash some water on her face hoping to make herself look relaxed.

On her way back into the lounge, Tonks overheard two very soft and anxious voices coming from the kitchen. "If you think that way then you should ask her," her mother said.

"Me? Oh, heavens, I couldn't. The whole thing seems so unnatural," Molly replied.

"Good grief, Molly. Muggles have been doing it for years."

"That doesn't mean it's a good thing. Why just a few years ago, Arthur was sewn up by a Muggle doctor. Sewn up! Like a piece of cloth."

"But Nymphadora knows all about the Muggle way of things. Ted has entertained us with all sorts of Muggle contraptions for years. Muggle medicine wouldn't frighten her."

"Then you ask her!"

"Ask me what?" Tonks said as she entered the room, having heard enough of the odd conversation.

Molly smiled brightly, pretending nothing was amiss. "Nothing, dear. Nothing. Come and help us with the tea," she requested.

"Molly, are you sure you want my help? You used to yell at me for even stepping foot in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place."

"True." Molly granted her a warm smile. "All right, you caught us. We don't need any help."

"We just thought that we could get in a bit of…er… girl talk before joining the men."

"Girl talk?" Molly asked sounding confused. She glanced at Andromeda, her eyes going wide. "Oh yes. Girl talk."

"Yes, you know, gossip about the men in our lives - the silly things they do and all that," Andromeda explained as Molly started scurrying around the kitchen gathering up cups and saucers for everyone.

Tonks bent over, resting her elbows on the counter and very nearly laughing at the two of them. "What did Dad do this time?"

"No, no. Let's start with you. You and Remus." Her mother's eyebrows waggled somewhat suggestively. "How are things with you two?"

Stunned, Tonks asked, "Mum, if you're asking me what I think you're asking me…"

"Oh, come on. I just want to know how it's all going."

Tonks shook her head, blushing as Molly looked on anxiously. "I don't believe you, Mum. In front of Molly even!"

"Oh, pish posh," Molly chimed. "You're acting like one of my boys who thinks I haven't a clue about what they get up to. I mean, really, there are six of them; a Hungarian horntail didn't drop them on the doorstep. I may be older, but I'm not dead. I would think that having seven children is proof enough that I'm not naive about that sort of thing."

"Of course," Tonks laughed, trying to put the current mental image Molly was presenting out of her mind. "You're quite right."

Molly cut into the cake she had made and began dishing slices onto plates. "One could even say that Arthur and I are experts at the whole business. And yet my children pretend that I don't even know what it is."

Tonks covered her face in embarrassment.

"So, tell us then. How are things?" her mother prodded again.

"You're not going to give up until I at least say something, are you?" Slumping forward, Tonks said, "All right. Things are good. Better than good. Everything is wonderful."

Molly hummed affirmatively, but it was Andromeda that voiced the next question. "And how does he feel about your er…" she leaned closer to Tonks, dropping the volume of her voice, "condition."

"What condition?"

"Nymphadora, you can talk about it with us. We know it's probably still early and you're not yet ready to tell everyone."

"Oh yes, I've been there," Molly said.

"We've both been there, and for that reason we can tell."

Tonks was very confused. "You can tell what?"

Molly's mouth formed a perfect "o" as she looked back at the younger woman. "Really, Tonks, We've been watching you all night. You've hurried off to the loo now four times."

"That's probably the worst part of the first few months," Andromeda said. "Well, that and the upset stomach."

Tonks was still at a loss.

"Yes, exactly. You hardly touched your dinner, and I know for a fact that Shepherd's Pie is one of your favorites," Molly said.

Tonks really didn't understand. "I just haven't been feeling well, is all."

"Precisely. An upset stomach. I've used that one myself to keep Arthur from asking questions," laughed Molly.

"What?" Tonks asked, still totally lost at the whole purpose of the conversation.

"Not to mention how pale you look," Molly added, examining Tonks' features with a worried eye. "More than pale. Tired. Yes, you look tired."

"And you once told me that a metamorph never looks tired," her mother pointed out.

Tonks frowned. "It's just from being overworked, that's all."

Molly ignored the comment and broke out in a wide grin. "Except for when you held the baby. Oh, Tonks, you were positively glowing."

Her mother smiled just as brightly. "Now stop pretending that there isn't anything going on and tell us about the - " Andromeda waved a hand at Tonks' lower abdomen, "the situation. I admit that I'm a little flustered at becoming a gandmum, but I'm too interested in how you did it. I know about the mechanics, of course, but considering that Remus is, well, that he can't - "

"Hang on. Wait a second," Tonks burst out, stopping them both. "Are you saying that - " The idea was totally absurd. Dropping her voice to a whisper Tonks asked, "You think I'm pregnant?"

"Yes, of course." Disappointment flashed on Molly's face. "You mean you're not?"

"No!" Tonks said quickly. She thought a moment and added another, "No. How could I be?"

Her mother looked crestfallen. "Well, we didn't know, that's why we were curious."

Tonks' mind began to process the whole conversation rapidly. Thoughts of feeling ill at odd times, craving unusual foods, the unexplainable feeling of being tired all the time. It all had a logical explanation, surely.

It can't be…I can't be…can I?

Her mother's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Muggles have a way of getting around problems like yours and Remus'. Considering what your cousin Julia went through, and how well that turned out, I thought that perhaps you and Remus gave it a go."

Her mother was correct. Muggles did have ways of getting around certain biological problems. Tonks had a distant cousin on her father's side that went though something like what her mum was suggesting. "You thought that Remus and I went to a Muggle doctor for some sort of fertility procedure?"

"Don't look so shocked. Given your behavior tonight, we had good reason to suspect something was going on," admitted her mother.

Molly gave a sad smile. "You probably think it was silly of us, but you looked so happy holding Noella."

"We assumed that you found a donor."

"Donor?" Tonks asked, waiting for her mother to explain. But Tonks suddenly cottoned on and rolled her eyes, groaning in the process. "I could never do that."

"Not even for a family of your own?" Molly asked.

"No, it would be too strange – having a baby with a man who wasn't your husband." No sooner were the words out of her mouth than the realization of the situation hit her like an Unforgivable Curse. She remembered the events of her last undercover assignment and felt the blood drain from her face.

Oh no…

NO.

He didn't. I would have known if he had.

It's impossible.

I can't be pregnant.

"Are you all right?" Molly asked.

Tonks forced herself to smile. "Just thinking." When neither Molly nor her mother said anything in reply, Tonks laughed and tried to play things safe. "Look, I'm not pregnant, I'm just tired. Work has been hard and with Remus gone for long bouts of time, I'm just feeling a bit stressed, that's all." The older women didn't look satisfied with that answer. "I promise you, both of you, if Remus and I ever decide to do anything about starting a family, you will be among the first to know."

Molly and Andromeda looked at each other skeptically, but decided to drop the subject for the time being. They didn't press Tonks for any more information and had their tea while discussing Ginny's upcoming wedding to Harry Potter. Tonks tried to keep up with the chatter, but found her mind drifting frequently to the possibility of having a baby – a baby that wasn't Remus'. She cast a worried look over at Remus, but he and her father were too engrossed in trying to explain to Arthur how the telephone worked to notice anything amiss.

It wasn't until hours later when they were back home and Remus was crawling into bed next to her that he noticed anything was wrong. "You've been quiet all evening. Are you sure you're feeling well?"

Yeah, I'm just fine for someone who might be pregnant…with no chance that if I am pregnant that it's my husband's baby. This can't be happening!

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Then let's get some sleep." He kissed her quickly and rolled over to find a comfortable position.

Tonks' mind was racing. Should I say something to him? Or should I just wait?

Wait, yes.

Although…if he finds out, he won't be happy that I didn't tell him.

I should tell him.

I'll wait until after I see a healer. When I know for certain.

But I do know for certain. There hadn't been time for a spell or a visit to a healer to tell Tonks if her mother's and Molly's suspicions were correct. And really, a spell wasn't needed to find out the truth. Simple maths told Tonks that her last cycle had been nearly seven weeks ago.

Seven weeks…

Right before my assignment.

How did I not notice this?

"By the way," Remus mumbled into his pillow. Tonks was certain he had figured something out and her heart began to race. "You looked beautiful tonight."

She swallowed, unsure of her voice. "Thanks."

"Especially when you held Noella. You looked…right at home with her."

Tonks managed an uneasy laugh and shifted so that Remus couldn't look at her face. She couldn't tell him. Not now. It would have to wait. Yes, wait and see what happens. Hopefully there would be another explanation than the one she feared. She knew it was doubtful, but for tonight it was all she had.