It's been rough getting these chapters out, but I'm super grateful to all of you guys that commented and favorited this story, it really means a lot. Also thankful for my chaotic discord buddies, y'all keep me inspired and are the best part of my day, I love you guys so much. And finally, I'm super grateful for Randomfandoming1, who is always willing to listen to my crazy ideas and cheers me on whenever I feel down. Love you KeKe! Without you, this chapter probably wouldn't get finished so thank you!
Please enjoy and leave a review if you liked the chapter!
Strength
upright:inner strength, bravery, compassion, focus
reversed:self-doubt, weakness, insecurity
Cressida awoke with a scream on the edge of her lips, the sound trying to crawl its way out of her throat and into the world, held back by her crippling fear and the curtains of her four-poster bed. Sweat dotted her forehead and her heartbeat skyrocketed, the organ trying to join the scream in leaping out of her body. She forced herself to take a deep breath, in and out.
The dreams had been persisting all week, to the point where she'd had to cast a spell that made her bed soundproof. It was always the same.
She walked down that horrible, twisted, gnarled hallway and came face to face with the large shadow of the beast that lurked near the end, the shadow of the moon shielding the monster's face from view.
She focused on the good. That's what her therapist had said. Focus on reality, on what's currently in front of you. She had Divination first thing and Quidditch tryouts later in the day. She was going to be okay. Emmeline and Dorcas were on either side of her. She was safe. She was secure.
Damn, maybe she needed to start taking her sleeping pills again after all.
Cress reached for the beat-up journal she always kept on her nightstand, clicking the pen as it ran across the paper, her messy scrawl detailing each horrible detail of the nightmare as they had the night before. She'd written the basics down that first night, but she knew how this worked. Until she either deciphered it, took her meds, or waited it out, the dream would keep coming back again and again. It was usually a warning, although Cress wasn't sure when she'd meet any monsters soon. So she'd taken to writing down more and more details while she was still dreaming about it.
Professor Dodona was grading their dream journals every Friday anyway, so she was really knocking out two birds with one stone.
"Happy Friday!" Dorcas called, the upbeat girl pulling her curtains apart with a wide smile on her face, the sun illuminating her hair like a halo around her head, making her seem like a goddess incarnate.
Cressida groaned at the early time. Emmeline was already dressed in her robes, hair curled and makeup done. It always amazed Cressida that the girl could just get up at the same time every day and look good. Cress had a hard enough time just getting up in the morning.
"We officially made it through week one," The girl sighed, her dark curls bouncing around her face as she settled back on the bed.
Cress pushed herself up and swung her legs out from under the covers, the hair on her bare legs standing up as she left the warmth of her bed. "Not yet. I'll consider this week over after tryouts."
"Come on," Dorcas shook her head, wiping some lint off her robes, "You and I have been practicing together all week, and we both know we're getting on that team. Aubrey would be an idiot not to have you."
Cressida smiled as she moved into the bathroom, getting ready while Emmeline and Dorcas continued to discuss their classes and the new electives they'd been taking.
"Flitwick's already scheduling meetings to talk about our futures," Dorcas whined, collapsing on Emmeline's bed beside the girl, "And I have absolutely no idea what I wanna do."
"I wanna work in the Ministry!" Emmeline spoke up with a cheerful tone, Cressida smiled as she splashed her face, hoping the action would wake her up some more.
It didn't.
Dorcas let out a groan and Emmeline rolled her eyes, "I'm serious, I think I could do some good there, especially as an Auror or a Diplomat."
Cress leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms as she watched the wheels in Em's head turn. "What happened to being a journalist?"
The girl's hooded eyes darkened, narrowing at the job title, "That bitch Rita Skeeter went and ruined it for me. I can't trust anything the Daily Prophet says anymore."
"Oh like it was so trustworthy before," Dorcas complained, sitting back up, neither of the girls realizing the close proximity they were to each other. "Besides, I thought you wanted to do some good." The curly-haired girl parroted Emmeline's previous words, her friend rolling her eyes before pushing Dorcas playfully. Cress chuckled at the interaction and began to slip into her uniform.
"What about you Cress?" Dorcas asked, leaning back on her palms and tilting her head to the side, "What do you wanna do?"
She'd never thought about it. Ted had jokingly suggested that she take up tarot card reading in Hogsmeade before she'd chased him around the house and threatened to shave all his hair off. But she'd never really considered doing anything else except using her abilities to get a job anywhere.
"I don't know," She admitted, tightening her tie, "Maybe Dumbledore will try to recruit me for the Divination position." It was supposed to be a joke, but something tightened in her stomach at the thought. She didn't mind teaching, but she couldn't do Divination for the rest of her life. The thought was sickening.
Emmeline chewed on her bottom lip, "Maybe you could be like a spell inventor or something," She suggested, and Cress loved her for trying. "I mean, there's people who invent new broomsticks and new potions, so who's to say you can't invent new spells?"
"Yeah!" Dorcas seconded, "You're great at that! Just look at all the ideas you've written down. You understand it better than most of us do."
Cress pulled on her outer robe and shook her head, appreciating her friends for trying to help her figure out her life, but she wasn't what they said she was. "I love you guys for doing this, really I do, but those ideas are just that. Ideas. I wouldn't even know where to begin to invent a spell." She let out an exhausted sigh, tucking her journal in the inside pocket of her bookbag, "Worst case scenario, I'll just become a famous muggle author and write all about the wizarding world."
Dorcas and Emmeline's protests rang out behind her as she chuckled to herself, knowing exactly how many rules she'd be breaking in addition to the Statute of Secrecy if she ever published anything remotely related to Hogwarts.
"You'd be arrested right on the spot," Emmeline continued to protest as they made their way to the Great Hall.
"Em," Cress turned to face the worried girl, "I was joking."
The girl let out a long sigh and Cressida shook her head. Merlin that girl needed a break. Snatching an apple off the table for breakfast, Cress didn't even bother sitting down, especially with Divination starting in fifteen minutes.
"That's all you're having?"
Cressida could feel Emmeline's judgment worming its way into her gut, twisting it until she felt guilty for not treating her body better. Who needed parents when they had Emmeline? She squashed the annoyance she felt and nodded, taking a bite as she moved through the great hall before Em could comment any further, passing the Gryffindor table on her way out.
"Have you seen Padfoot today?" Peter asked, digging into his breakfast greedily. Cress slowed her steps, hoping she'd catch some of their conversation before she had to head to class. "I didn't see him in the dorm this morning,"
Potter shook his head, messing with his hair again as Lily Evans sat down a few seats away. Cress resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Kingsley said Padfoot wanted to get a head start on studying."
"Sirius studying?" Remus chimed in, an incredulous look on his face and laughter leaving his lips, "If that ends up being the case I'll eat my hat."
The boys burst into obnoxious laughter at his words and Cress saw relief flood Remus' face, his smile growing wider. A tiny one tugged on Cress's lips at the sight. She'd never seen Remus so comfortable in all the years she'd known him. The lads could be annoying at the best of times and cruel the worst, but Remus seemed genuinely happy with them, and Cress supposed they couldn't be all bad.
She turned to leave the Great Hall when she heard Potter call after her, "Tonks!"
Cress forced herself to turn around, grinding her teeth into a pleasant smile. She wanted to rescind her previous statement.
The dark-haired boy looked absolutely chuffed, his smirk widening as he opened his mouth again, "I hear you have Quidditch tryouts tonight,"
She shrugged off his condescending tone, "What's it to you?"
Potter's smirk grew into a full-blown smile, a mischievous glint in his hazel eyes as he pressed his glasses further up his nose, "Oh nothing, just wanted to wish you luck."
Cress narrowed her gaze at the three pranksters, wondering what he'd cooked up in the hopes of ruining her chances. With a final suspicious glance, she exited the hall, trying to shake the paranoia away. She didn't believe his well-wishes for one second. Potter had never been cordial when it came to Quidditch matches, often pranking the teams either during practice or right before a match. Thankfully she had a bit more time before Ravenclaw's first match against Gryffindor, but it didn't make the sinking feeling in her stomach any easier to deal with.
The Divination attic was sealed shut when she reached the top of the stairs and all Cress could do was sigh before sitting down at the top of the ladder. She still had five minutes before class began anyway. Her fingers drummed against her thighs, her foot bouncing up and down impatiently before finally pulling out the textbook for the class.
They were just starting the chapter on interpreting symbols in dreams, easy stuff like the Grim and different types of animals, nothing like the monster Cress had encountered this past week in her dreams. Her mind wandered to the beat-up journal in her bag and the scribbles that were almost incomprehensible. She wondered if Trelawney, with her seeing heritage, had similar dreams. She doubted it.
Her leg bounced for a couple more seconds before Cress finally flipped further into the textbook, trying to find what she was looking for. The monster was taller than most men, she remembered, and although she couldn't get a good look at its face, she remembered it standing on two furry legs, the deafening roar stunning her into silence.
Just as she found the page, a loud yell caught her off guard.
"You're wrong you old crone!" The voice snarled, "I'm not believing a single word that comes out of your mouth anymore!"
Cress watched in silent shock as Sirius Black stormed down the ladder, his wild curls flying in his face, grey eyes piercing her gaze before narrowing at her.
"What are you looking at Little Miss Perfect?"
Her fingers curled into fists at the taunting nickname, face heating up as she brought herself up to his level, staring him down with steel slid into her spine. "I don't know Black, why don't you tell me?"
Silence hung over the two of them for a moment, Cress waiting for an answer she knew would never come.
The fifth year let out a mirthless chuckle, lips curling into a scowl as he bit the inside of his cheek. "Godric, I can't believe you're still taking this useless class." The subject change, Cress noted, everyone's favorite avoidance tactic, "Dodona's gone off her rocker anyway."
Anger bubbled in her chest at the statement, the girl quickly coming to the defense of the woman who'd helped her understand more than she ever could.
"You just don't have the patience for it Black," Cress snapped, trying to push his words out of her head, "You believe the world revolves around you, so you think everyone else should be accommodating your schedule, instead of the other way around."
"Well they should," Sirius mumbled, pulling a cigarette from his robes and quickly lighting it. Cress coughed from the smoke, waving it away as she continued to scowl at the boy in front of her. Black's mind was far away, his grey eyes looking off in the distance as he took another puff.
"Why'd you even see Dodona anyway? If you think Divination's 'useless'?" She finally asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. Her words were mocking his previous tone, satisfaction smiling in her chest as they left her mouth. It died as soon as she watched his reaction.
Sirius tensed, his posture straighter than she'd ever seen it. His lips tightened until they almost disappeared, taking another drag as a curl fell over his eyes.
"Forget it." He snapped, tightening his grip on his bag, "Seeing's rubbish anyway."
Cressida moved to defend the discipline, but he had already reached the bottom of the ladder, more students gathered there to watch his exit.
"Asshole!" She called after him, settling for the last word as more students began to file in. Letting out a frustrated huff, Cress moved into the classroom, Professor Dodona writing several different symbols on the board, a warm smile sent Cress's way as she approached the desk.
"Ah Miss Tonks, what can I do for you?"
Cress reached into her bag and pulled out the notebook, the dark blue color blending in with the dark browns and earthy tones that decorated the classroom. "I've been having a recurring dream and I was wondering if you could help me understand it."
Professor Dodona flipped through the pages, the paper crinkling in her brown fingers as they gently traced each word, large dark eyes scanning each page with a sense of reverence. She was holding the journal like it was a book of sacred texts, and Cress wondered if that was how she always held their journals. Maybe she should start paying more attention to her professors.
The woman lifted her eyes to see most of the class seated with their textbooks out.
"Why don't we ask the class for help?" She smiled, a twinkle in her eye not unlike Headmaster Dumbledore's. "Class, turn to page one hundred and thirty, Miss Tonks has a dream she needs help interpreting."
Cress felt her face flush red, Dodona immediately erasing what she had been writing on the chalkboard, replacing it with the details of her nightmare. Cress's stomach twisted and turned until she felt sick, eyeing the trash bin in case she needed to toss up the apple she'd barely eaten that morning.
The class shouted out a number of ideas, including Alexander Brown's laughable suggestion of the boogie-man before Dodona turned to Cress, a knowing smile on her face.
"I believe it's your turn, Miss Tonks."
Cress grabbed the piece of chalk, turning to her book and the page she had been looking at before. There were only a few interpretations of monsters and most were unfavorable. So she turned her focus to the full moon in her dream instead, the long shadow it was casting over the figure. It illuminated her face, the monster unable to eclipse it.
She relayed this to Professor Dodona, who quickly nodded and turned to the class, no one able to come up with a possible answer to the question until it struck Cressida.
"This event will follow them the rest of their life," She quickly began to scribbled her interpretations on the chalkboard, a wide smile on her face as her brain clicked the gears into place, "Whoever this person or thing is, they're living their life in shadow, controlled by some aspect of the moon or stars. The monster is how they see themselves. The dream isn't about me it's about someone else!" Her smile grew wider as she locked gazes with the older professor, who bore a proud smile on her face.
"Excellent interpretation Miss Tonks," Professor Dodona gestured toward her seat, handing the journal back to her, "Twenty points to Ravenclaw,"
The class groaned but Cressida held her head up high, relief settling over her as she jotted the interpretation down on the next page.
"And ten points to Gryffindor and Hufflepuff for participating," Dodona added, satisfactory grumbling meeting her words. The professor continued with the rest of the lesson, but Cress wasn't paying attention, too busy wondering who the figure in her dreams could be.
Cressida bit into her sandwich, re-reading the passage Slughorn had assigned while jotting down notes with one of her pens, refusing to use a quill, especially with how messy her handwriting was getting.
Dorcas' bag plopped itself onto the table, the girl letting out a loud groan as she sat with one leg on either side of the bench. "I hate the new DADA professor so much."
Cressida snickered at her friend's misfortune, trying to hide how much she was enjoying hearing Dorcas complain about her classes with the professor. Cress thought he was absolutely brilliant, and way better than the one they'd had the last four years. He actually understood the material and had them do hands-on learning, which Cressida always loved. Dorcas absolutely despised him though, mostly because he was attractive and married, but also because he assigned some of the longer assignments. She didn't have DADA until the end of the day, but Dorcas had launched into a full-blown rant on the five rolls of parchment she had to write about the theory of counter-jinxes and how ridiculous it was.
"It's unfair to expect us to-"
"Do our homework?" Cress challenged, drawing another groan from Dorcas.
"You know what I mean."
She swung her leg over the bench to face the table as she reached for a sandwich, chomping down on the meal, "How'd your meeting with Dodona go?" She asked, and Cress let out a sigh.
She'd been doing that a lot lately.
"It went fine, except for when she made me share the dream with the whole class as a learning experience."
Dorcas' mouth dropped open in shock, "You're kidding. That's gotta be violating some kind of teacher's code or school rules right?"
Cress shook her head, biting her lip as she continued to focus on her notes, "Nope. But that wasn't even the worst part." She placed her pen down and faced her friend, a tight smile on her face as she recalled the early interaction with a certain Gryffindor, "I ran into Sirius Black this morning."
"Oh, bloody hell!"
"That was my exact reaction," Cressida piped up, turning back to the potions book.
Dorcas took a swig of pumpkin juice before continuing with the conversation, "What the hell was Black doing in the Divination room?"
"I have absolutely no idea," She shrugged, tapping her pen against the table. "He was talking to Dodona about something when he stormed out and claimed that she was crazy."
Dorcas rolled her eyes, something she always did when it came to the Black heir. The two of them had never gotten along, and his pranks had only made it worse, especially after one in first year which had led to Dorcas having to wear a hat for the rest of the year.
"Did you ask him?"
"Oh, I tried," Cress slammed her pen down, irritation bubbling in her chest as she launched into her rant about their meeting this morning, "But all he did was call me that stupid nickname and claim all seeing is rubbish before taking a drag of his cig and blowing the smoke in my face, the lousy git."
Dorcas scoffed, staring down at the Gryffindor table with disgust written all over her face. It was an expression she always wore when she interacted with any of the marauders, but especially Sirius Black.
"Typical Black, too absorbed in his own life to pay attention to others around him." Dorcas popped a grape in her mouth and shook her head while Cress nodded along, knowing the girl wasn't finished yet, "And the fact that he has the audacity to smoke in these halls is appalling, like we get it you're cool, now hurry up and get lung cancer so we don't have to deal with seeing your face anymore,"
Cressida's laughter burst past her lips, almost echoing through the great hall, "Jesus Christ, Dorcas!" She chastised slightly, clutching her stomach as the sound continued to spill out of her, shaking her shoulders and creating an ache in her gut.
"What?" The girl shrugged nonchalantly, like she'd been talking about the weather, "I'm just saying what we're all thinking."
Cressida doubled over in her seat, stomach still aching from laughter as people began to slowly peel off to head to their other classes, the clanging of plates and glasses overlapping some of the conversation as the students began to disperse, lunch hour coming to an end as Cressida quickly finished off her sandwich and gulped down her glass of water. "Come on," She stood up and turned to Dorcas, who was taking her sweet time.
The black girl groaned and slammed her head against the table, "I don't wanna have potions with the Slytherins anymore." Her voice was muffled but still made Cressida laugh, and she definitely thought Dorcas had a point. Slughorn wasn't too bad of a teacher, but the Slytherins' constant mocking and Snape's endless bragging had made the class unbearable. It was only the first week! She didn't know how she could do this for the whole year.
The drafty air of the dungeon played with the folds of her robes, whisking them upward slightly as goosebumps appeared on her arms, Dorcas shivering slightly as they stopped in front of the Potions room, leaning against the brick wall and slamming her eyes shut, hoping to relish in some small relief before class began.
It was quickly squashed by the voices that rounded the corner, a glint of greasy hair entering her vision.
"Oh look lads," Mulciber sneered at the two of them, like they were dirt on his shoes instead of classmates he had to get along with, "The half-breed and her filthy friend decided to show up."
Dorcas stood up, clenching her jaw as she stared down the bully, "We felt bad for Slughorn, having to deal with you brainless idiots for a full hour."
"Competence is rather hard to find in Slytherin house isn't it Dor?" Cress piped up, embolden with newfound courage as she met Snape's beady black eyes. Avery tensed behind Mulciber, moving forward, but the leader stopped him.
"You're absolutely right Cress," Dorcas continued, her smirk growing wider, "It's a pity really, you lot are dragging your house through the mud."
"That's funny," Mulicber snarled, his expression making it clear he found it anything but, "Especially coming from the Mudbloods themselves."
From that moment on three very important things happened.
"Fifty points from Slytherin!"
"I'm going to kill you Mulciber!"
"What on Earth is going on here?!"
Cressida turned to face Professor Slughorn, both hands wrapped around Dorcas' arms, her strength the only thing stopping her from taking another swipe at the group. Mulicber was currently nursing a large purple bruise forming on his jaw, Avery and Snape stepping forward to protect the leader of the brutes.
"Miss Tonks!" Slughorn's wide eyes met hers and Dorcas stopped her struggle, deciding to just send death glares instead, "Seeing as you are the Prefect here, would you please explain what just happened?"
"Gladly Professor," Cressida spoke through gritted teeth, never taking her eyes off the group of bullies.
Snape moved to speak, "Professor I can explain-"
"I asked Miss Tonks, Mr. Snape, not you." Slughorn quickly shot down the kid, turning back toward the brunette, gesturing for her to continue.
Cressida sighed, straightening her posture until she looked like the Prefect she was. "We were waiting for class when Mulicber and his friends began to taunt us," She began, shifting on her feet, stomach knotting up as she realized that he might not even take her at her word, "My friend was defending herself when Mucliber called us...Mudbloods." She hissed the word like a curse on her tongue, drawing gasps from other students in the hall. "Understandably, my friend was upset and lashed out."
Slughorn seemed to mull her words over in his mind, a loud silence hanging over the hall as both Houses waited for him to pass judgment.
"She's telling the truth Professor," A brown girl with wild curls appeared from the crowd, a hip cocked and arms crossed. She wore only a sweater vest over her collared shirt with a shiny green and silver prefect badge, but Cressida didn't recognize her from any of her classes with the other house. "I saw everything and will gladly give you my testimony."
Slughorn held up his hand, "That uh, that won't be necessary Miss Shafiq, Miss Tonks' will do just fine."
Shafiq nodded and slipped back into the crowd, exactly like the snake she bore on her badge. Cressida turned back to her Professor, everyone waiting to see what he would do. Slughorn patted his robes awkwardly and adjusted his tie, almost like he was postponing the outcome.
"Let's see here...yes...this is quite unacceptable, and frankly, I expected better of my students." He sent a chastising look toward the group of bullies, "One hundred points from Slytherin," He announced with a proud look on his face. The Slytherin students' mouths dropped in shock, death glares mostly sent toward the group who had cost them the points, although Cressida saw a few pointed her way and shifted back and forth uncomfortably.
Slughorn smoothed down his waistcoat and gestured toward the Potions room, "Very well, now that's over with, shall we begin our lesson for the day?"
By the end of class, Cress was huffing and puffing, face dirty, and hair frizzy from leaning over her cauldron for too long. Dorcas was calmly leaning back in the chair, waiting for Slughorn to come over and check their potion. The girl was still fuming from the interaction earlier and Avery's endless comments about how great his potion was hadn't made it any easier. Cressida hoped Slughorn would actually talk to his students instead of just taking away points and giving them a warning. She didn't have much hope though.
"Perfect Mr. Snape, ten points to Slytherin." Slughorn praised with a grimace on his face, still uncomfortable praising the boy after the altercation earlier. "Please see me after class."
Cressida straightened up as Slughorn moved over to her table, his gooseberry colored eyes examining the liquid before him and nostrils flaring as he smelled the air, like he was trying to find something wrong with it. A satisfactory smile worked its way across his face and Cressida anxiously awaited his judgment.
"Excellent work Miss Tonks, ten points to Ravenclaw."
Her shoulders deflated. Excellent? When Snape and his racist buddies got a perfect? She'd spent the whole time studying his notes and re-reading the passages, yet Snape, who barely paid attention in class, had gotten a perfect over her? No. That was unacceptable. Slughorn wanted to see Snape after class? Bullshit, Cressida would see Slughorn after class.
He dismissed the class and she quickly tossed her books in her bag with a huff, staying back while Dorcas rushed out of there. She was getting ready to argue her piece as she set the finished potion on the desk when Slughorn beat her to the punch.
"Ah Miss Tonks, I'm glad you stayed behind, I wanted to talk to you about a proposition I have."
Cressida blinked. Slughorn continued.
"You see, I have a, well let's just call it what it is, I run a club at this school full of some of the brightest and most talented witches and wizards of the age. Ones who I believe, show true promise. Miss Shafiq is a member and I was hoping to ask Mr. Snape to uh, join as well."
Cressida whipped around and met the narrowed gaze of the greasy-haired git, ready to protest when Slughorn cut her off again.
"I know, after the incident this afternoon you two don't exactly see eye to eye," He began, pausing to chastise Snape with a look again. Cressida tried to hide her smirk. "But I've been watching you these last four years and I believe you have true potential to be one of the brightest witches your age."
Cressida's cheeks grew hot at the compliment, satisfied that she was finally being noticed for something other than her blood status or her seeing abilities at this school.
"You're a very talented young woman and I would be very honored to have you as a member."
"Thank you Professor but I-"
"How about you think about it?" Slughorn propositioned with an arched eyebrow, "I'll give you until the first Hogsmeade visit, how does that sound?"
Cressida smiled at his kindly demeanor, knowing she couldn't turn down what sounded perfectly reasonable. "That sounds perfect," She replied, deciding she'd wait until the next class period to address her issues with his grading policies.
You have true potential to be one of the brightest witches your age.
Slughorn's words shook her to her core, fulfilling a need she hadn't thought about in a long time. Butterflies danced in her chest and fizzed in her stomach as she mulled the sentence over in her head. It sounded perfectly wonderful. To be considered one of the brightest witches of the age. Like Rowena Ravenclaw was.
God, the Slytherins would be furious if Slughorn started to call her that. She was already top of her class in every subject except potions, perhaps this would be how she achieved that last goal. It wasn't a bad idea except for having to deal with Snape and the other Slytherins every now and then.
She meant it when she told Slughorn she would think about it. Because being a part of his club gave her access to things no one else knew about. And it gave her access to famous friends that the Professor always bragged about.
She smirked as she made her way to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Maybe there was a bit of Slytherin in her after all.
When her final class got out, Cressida began to psyche herself up. Slughorn's mention of the Hogsmeade outing reminded her of the promise she had made at the beginning of the week, one that involved a certain Gryffindor Prefect. Her heart was already pounding against her chest like the thumping of war drums, the knot in her stomach growing tighter at the thought of having their study sessions in the Gryffindor Common room for everyone to see, but now with this added pressure, Cressida was sure that she'd combust soon enough.
"Ah, Miss Tonks!" Professor Ross's scottish accent cut through her thoughts, feet freezing in place. "Excellent work in class today, I've never had a student understand counter-jinxes so quickly before."
She smiled gratefully, "Thank you Professor, but it's just learning the theory. Anyone with a basic understanding of how magic works would be able to do it."
The younger Professor let out a small chuckle and ran a hand across his dark beard, like she had just said something funny instead of reciting what she'd learned over the past four years. "You're very talented Miss Tonks has anyone told you that?"
Cressida shrugged, unsure of where this conversation was going. The last person to tell her that before today had been Dumbledore, and it was only in reference to her seeing abilities, not her actual magical prowess. She'd be lying if she said that she didn't enjoy the validation, but it still made her wary. Usually, when people complimented her it was because they wanted something. In the case of her House, it was help with their homework.
Professor Ross pulled a small slip of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her, "Professor Dumbledore asked me to give you this. He says you'll understand what it is."
And she did. As she took the parchment from his hand and read the loopy writing, she groaned inwardly. "Thank you, Professor." She sent him a strained smile before turning on her heel, rolling her eyes as she made her way toward Gryffindor tower.
Of course, Dumbledore would schedule a private lesson her first weekend back. Not like she was busy enough.
Saturday. My Office.
8 am.
-APWBD
"Ad Astra," Cressida spoke to the Fat Lady, who gave her a narrowed stare as she stepped into the Common Room, surprised to find it empty at this time of day. Only one student was on the couch, and she recognized the lanky figure with a smile.
"Hey," She smiled, drawing Remus out of his concentrated stare.
His green eyes lit up and a wide smile popped onto his face, "Hi, uh, glad you made it,"
"After today's lesson I need your help more than ever," Cressida chuckled nervously, tugging on her hair to help relieve the knot in her stomach. Her pulse had quickened and she was positive that Remus could hear it echo throughout the silent room. If he could hear it, his face hid it well.
"Really? What happened?"
Cressida took a deep breath and sat down next to him, thighs touching as she blew out a sigh, "Snape got a better grade than me. Again."
Remus didn't say anything, and honestly, Cressida preferred it that way. If his friends were around Potter and Black would have probably launched into a series of insults about the Slytherin, Peter's laughter accompanying each joke. Sometimes she just wanted someone to listen, and was forever grateful she'd befriended Remus that first week of their first year in the library.
"Well, then I guess we better start studying," Remus smiled, standing up from his position on the couch. Cressida arched an eyebrow his way and grasped his outstretched hand, heart skipping a beat as he pulled her upward.
She followed him to an alcove near the stairs to the boy's dormitory, a large wooden door set into an alcove. It had no handle nor any other way to open it.
"Flibberty-Gibbet" Remus announced, tapping the door once with his wand. It creaked open, and he gestured for Cressida to go first. Trying to hide the smile on her face, she ducked through the hole, eyes widening as she was greeted with a circular room not unlike the common area she'd just left. Red carpet with gold lining covered the floors, several tables and bookshelves scattered around the room. It was a miniature library, with a few sixth and seventh years leaning over parchment and examining their textbooks. Several candles were lit and floated toward the students, like they were enchanted to provide light to anyone who needed it.
"This is…" Her words caught in her throat, unable to find the right adjective to describe it all. "Amazing." She settled on, moving toward an empty table near the door. "How many students know about this?"
Remus shrugged, sitting down beside her instead of across from her. She tried not to think too hard about it and focused on his explanation instead. "Most of the sixth and seventh years know about it, but I discovered it late one night last year."
"Well, I love it," She smiled, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks as she said it. Remus smiled back in relief.
He cleared his throat after a moment and gestured to her book, "Uh, shall we-"
"Oh! yeah."
It didn't take them long to get back into the rhythm they were both used to. With Remus quizzing her on ingredients for the Draught of Peace and the Invigoration Draught, which they were working on next week. Cressida, in turn, explained the finer parts of Transfiguration and Untransfiguration to Remus, with more focus on the latter and the theory that accompanied it. Although, she was unsure why he was studying it in the first place, considering they weren't supposed to study it until much later and Remus was already one of the more talented students in the class to begin with.
"Peppermint, Stewed Mandrake, and Infusion of Wormwood," Remus asked, listing off the ingredients of a potion for Cressida to name.
She squeezed her eyes shut in concentration, trying to recall the exact order. "Invigoration Draught," She responded, Remus smiling in affirmation as the tension left her shoulders.
She let out a shout of victory before getting death stares from the other students in the private library. "Sorry," She whispered, sitting back down in her seat as Remus chuckled beside her.
She leaned her head back against the chair, waiting for the next question. While Remus shuffled through their Potions book, she wondered if now would be a good time to ask him about the Hogsmeade trip.
"What do you think would happen if someone put an Invigoration Draught in a cup of coffee?" She asked instead, chastising herself for avoiding the question with another question, even if it was one she was genuinely curious about.
Remus met her gaze with confusion, although the smile on his face made it clear that he was just as curious as she was. "I think you'd end up in the hospital wing if you're planning on trying it."
Cressida leaned her elbows on the table, "I'm not, although I appreciate your concern, but I am curious. Like, would it just keep you awake the whole time? Or would they cancel each other out?"
Remus shook his head, but she was still curious. Maybe she'd convince one of the other Ravenclaws to try it. Or a younger Gryffindor. They seemed like the type to do something stupid like that. "Cause obviously an Invigoration Draught is supposed to give you that burst of energy, but so is caffeine, so you'd assume that it would just be an endless supply of energy throughout the day," She continued to think aloud, "But we don't know the effects a potion like that has on the brain, but we do know the effects coffee has on the brain, so what's the answer?"
Remus was currently staring at her with a smirk on his face and wide eyes. "I think that's a question you need to ask Slughorn," He advised, turning back to the book, "But right now I need to know what ingredients are in the Draught of Peace," He quizzed, and Cressida felt herself deflate, although she understood why he'd brought her back to the matter at hand.
"Oh god," She muttered, placing her head in her hands. There were so many different things to remember for that godforsaken potion. "Uh, Powdered Moonstone is one," She began, Remus' nod spurring her forward, "Um…Valerian Root, Syrup of uh...that one thing that I literally cannot remember right now..." Cressida flipped through all of the information in her brain, trying to come up with what she'd worked with this afternoon while making that stupid potion. It started with an H, she remembered that. And she remembered a lot of powdered ingredients, she just couldn't remember what. So she focused on the syrup, trying to recall the creature it came from. "Hal- Hell- Hellebore? Hellebore! Syrup of Hellebore, and…"
Her mind went blank again and Remus gently placed his hand on her leg, not realizing it had been shaking, "Cress," The nickname sounded like honey dripping from his lips, green eyes meeting her with a softness she was unused to. "It's okay if you don't know. This Potion is ridiculously hard to make, even for the best wizards. The sample I gave Slughorn was horrendous."
Her shoulders slumped and the anxiety dissipated into soft chuckles, lips tugging downward as she hung her head again. "I just- Magic is the only thing I'm good at, and if I can't-" Her teeth scratched her bottom lip, chewing away some of the skin until she tasted iron, "What if I'm not good at it? I- I don't-"
She didn't want to tell Remus all the doubts she held in her head. The constant worry that she was nothing without her talent at magic. That the whole reason she'd worked so hard at it was because she didn't feel like there was anything else that made her feel alive the way magic did. She loved it. More than anything else in the world. And if she wasn't good at it...then who was she?
Remus moved his hand from her thigh to cover her own hand, giving it a tight squeeze as he smiled softly. "Magic isn't the only thing you're good at, believe me." He assured her, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand, "You're clever and witty and one of the smartest witches I know." A fizzing bloomed in her chest at his words and she could feel her pulse quicken as she realized just how close he was, his face mere inches from hers. She could even count the small, light freckles that dotted his cheeks. This was the moment. Cressida continued to chew on her bottom lip, eyes flitting down for a brief moment before meeting his gaze again.
"Remus I-"
"You're a kickass seeker too," He continued to praise her, "especially for someone who didn't know about Quidditch beforehand."
She smiled, a soft laugh leaving her lips. And then it hit her like a bludger. Tryouts.
Cressida took a quick look at her watch. Shit. Aubrey was going to murder her.
"Dammit," She muttered, scooping her books and parchment back into her bag in a haphazard mess, "I totally spaced and this was my one chance and now-"
"Cress," Remus stood up, placing a hand on her arm, which she quickly shook off, "What's going on? What are you talking about?"
"Quidditch tryouts are today and I totally forgot." She continued to ramble, speaking at a mile a minute, "I was supposed to meet up with Dorcas and now she's going to be pissed at me and I've lost my shot at getting on the team and now-"
"Hey," Remus grasped her shoulders, forcing her to stop in her tracks, "Breathe."
She inhaled deeply and blew out a soft breath. Repeating it, she felt some of the anxiety leave her, although she wondered how much of that was because Remus was holding her. "You're going to be fine."
She nodded, forcing herself to recognize how irrational she was being. It was only ten minutes after six. Seeker tryouts were always near the end. And warm-ups took up at least five minutes. "Thank you," She breathed out, moving toward the door. She was halfway through the opening when she decided to say screw it.
"Remus?!" She called, drawing the attention of the tall boy once again. His eyes were wide and curious like they'd been the whole night and with one breath she made herself vulnerable, "Do you wanna go to Hogsmeade with me next month?"
A moment passed and before Cress could mentally curse herself, he broke into a wide smile, something dancing in his eyes.
"I'd love to."
